World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

[Fan Fiction]  Close This Thread @“CitrusNinja3”

Jun. 23, 2021  12:08 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  12:04 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Jun. 22, 2021  11:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 11
Enter Savage Aeolus!!
Spoiler (Click to View)
UnseenBurst  can you rate this chapter?

Grammar: 3/5. Spotted a couple of mistakes
Story: 3/5. I loved the plot you were going for I wish you dragged it out longer so we could get more information.
Characters: 3/5. Finally, we get some information about the characters tho I wish you got more into it
Dialogue: 3/5. I loved how you used a bit of my Dialogue and mixed it with your dialogue to create a smoothie lol
Length: 3/5. You getting there just get into more important stuff in the story and don't feel like your being rushed take all the time in the world.
15/25 You've amped it up nice I'm proud

Thx I read you chapter and use some of the plot!
Jun. 23, 2021  12:46 AM
 
(Jun. 22, 2021  11:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 11
Enter Savage Aeolus!!
Spoiler (Click to View)
UnseenBurst  can you rate this chapter?
Nice job Justice 👍
Jun. 23, 2021  12:47 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  12:46 AM)Beyl0v3r Wrote:
(Jun. 22, 2021  11:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 11
Enter Savage Aeolus!!
Spoiler (Click to View)
UnseenBurst  can you rate this chapter?
Nice job Justice 👍

Thx dude!
Jun. 23, 2021  12:47 AM
 
Yo LegendJustice since I'm lazy when typing can I call you LJ? You can call me UB when your not quoting me (If you say yes just like the post)
Jun. 23, 2021  12:50 AM
 
You can anyone can I'm to lazy at type
Jun. 23, 2021  12:51 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  12:50 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: You can anyone can I'm to lazy at type

Thanks LJ
Jun. 23, 2021  2:43 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  12:51 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Jun. 23, 2021  12:50 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: You can anyone can I'm to lazy at type

Thanks LJ

Np
Jun. 23, 2021  2:39 PM
 
Lol I'm dying cuz of "Auolus"
I'm going to make a few characters for my fan - fic
Jun. 23, 2021  6:44 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  2:39 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: Lol I'm dying cuz of "Auolus"
I'm going to make a few characters for my fan - fic

Okay lol also the next chapter will take some time maybe in like 3 hours so it's gonna be EXTRA long
UnseenBurst in the next chapter your character will be coming in and satsu is gonna be on here A game

A game = Roasting your character
Jun. 23, 2021  7:08 PM
 
justice i am very very very very very very very very very very very very very very VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY sorry to interupt but are you still like, doing the character competition?
you dont even have to reply to this rn you can reply whenever
dang three hours thats gotta be a prety splendid chapter
alright justice once again gl on ur fanfic ima go add sumn to my new one
Jun. 23, 2021  8:57 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  7:08 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: justice  i am very very very very very very very very very very very very very very VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY sorry to interupt but are you still like, doing the character competition?
you dont even have to reply to this rn you can reply whenever
dang three hours thats gotta be a prety splendid chapter
alright justice once again gl on ur fanfic ima go add sumn to my new one

Yeah one more spot left
Jax Jackal: IS the bey in my pfp
Jun. 23, 2021  9:10 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  6:44 PM)LegendJustice Wrote:
(Jun. 23, 2021  2:39 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: Lol I'm dying cuz of "Auolus"
I'm going to make a few characters for my fan - fic

Okay lol also the next chapter will take some time maybe in like 3 hours so it's gonna be EXTRA long
UnseenBurst in the next chapter your character will be coming in and satsu is gonna be on here A game

A game = Roasting your character

Wait I won the Character Contest?
Jun. 23, 2021  9:31 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  9:10 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Jun. 23, 2021  6:44 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Okay lol also the next chapter will take some time maybe in like 3 hours so it's gonna be EXTRA long
UnseenBurst in the next chapter your character will be coming in and satsu is gonna be on here A game

A game = Roasting your character

Wait I won the Character Contest?

yes along with 3 people
Jun. 23, 2021  9:33 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  9:31 PM)LegendJustice Wrote:
(Jun. 23, 2021  9:10 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Wait I won the Character Contest?

yes along with 3 people

Ok thanks
Jun. 23, 2021  9:34 PM
 
T O O l A T E A G H
guys since im bored ima give you some character/ beyblade ideas
that i might just use in my storyline (hint hint eh?)
Gale Huminaru - Beyblade: Flight Gryphon Helix Soar
Dago Ralare - Beyblade: Reap Deathscyther Metal Blade
Argo Karanu - Beyblade: Battle Apex Warhammer Iron'
Jack Haden - Beyblade Hold Jaden Mystik Aurora
Sean Orinaro - Beyblade: Ogre Solomon Axe Crypt
now that you think about it ima use sean in my fanfic
Jun. 24, 2021  6:45 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2021  9:34 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: T O O    l A  T E    A G H
guys since im bored ima give you some character/ beyblade ideas
that i might just use in my storyline (hint hint eh?)
Gale Huminaru - Beyblade: Flight Gryphon Helix Soar
Dago Ralare - Beyblade: Reap Deathscyther Metal Blade
Argo Karanu - Beyblade: Battle Apex Warhammer Iron'
Jack Haden - Beyblade Hold Jaden Mystik Aurora
Sean Orinaro - Beyblade: Ogre Solomon Axe Crypt
now that you think about it ima use sean in my fanfic

Nice
Almost done with chapter 12!!!
Chapter 12
Enter Rebel Raboot!!!!
Spoiler (Click to View)
Feel free to date it was gonna be longer but I'm tired
UnseenBurst can you rate it?
Jun. 24, 2021  11:20 PM
 
Wow can anyone rate my reason chapter cause I’m about to make another one!?
Jun. 24, 2021  11:27 PM
 
ok sure me
I dont really know how to rate, but its worth a try!
Grammar: 3/5 - Sometimes I would see like 1/5 of the story either misspelled or out of place. This is one of the very few weaknesses of the story.
Story: 5/5 - The story is awesome, I love how it's unique and fits like a puzzle piece into the beyblade storyline, awesome!
Battles: 4/5 - They have indeed gotten better, and I love the extra details. Nice job!
Interaction: 5/5 - Lol there is nothing to say about this really it has the characters talking very often and distinctively. Cool Beans!

Overall: 17/20 - This story definitely has room to grow, but its doing pretty great so far! Good job!
Jun. 25, 2021  12:28 AM
 
Chapter 13
Air ship
Spoiler (Click to View)
This was just moving in and stuff next chapter is gonna be average long but really good!
Jun. 25, 2021  3:24 AM
 
nice chapter!
these chapters really make me wanna rethink the way i wanna do my chapters, lol!
Jun. 25, 2021  3:28 AM
 
(Jun. 25, 2021  3:24 AM)BladeKingX Wrote: nice chapter!
these chapters really make me wanna rethink the way i wanna do my chapters, lol!

Thx!
Jun. 25, 2021  3:39 AM
 
no problemo
bippity boppity beyblade burst matrix episode 2 is tomorrow's property
Jun. 25, 2021  4:42 AM
 
(Jun. 25, 2021  3:39 AM)BladeKingX Wrote: no problemo
bippity boppity beyblade burst matrix episode 2 is tomorrow's property

please don't self promote on someone else's thread. it's rude.
Jun. 25, 2021  4:43 AM
 
(Jun. 25, 2021  4:42 AM)SacredXcalibur Wrote:
(Jun. 25, 2021  3:39 AM)BladeKingX Wrote: no problemo
bippity boppity beyblade burst matrix episode 2 is tomorrow's property

please don't self promote on someone else's thread. it's rude.

Ease up a bit he's new
Jun. 25, 2021  4:46 AM
 
(Jun. 25, 2021  4:42 AM)SacredXcalibur Wrote:
(Jun. 25, 2021  3:39 AM)BladeKingX Wrote: no problemo
bippity boppity beyblade burst matrix episode 2 is tomorrow's property

please don't self promote on someone else's thread. it's rude.

ok my bad
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