Please give me feedback I'd really appreciate it
I was in a crowd of people I felt the excitement in the room grow, I was at battle bladers year 3025. I watched as my Idol ,Dante, battled his opponent with his bey ,Poison Unicorno 130HF, The beys dashed around wildly throughout the stadium as the beys clashed. The sound of metal scraping against metal only raised the excitement. "Special move" Commanded Dante,
"poison horn strike" The bey lit up with a purple energy then the bey rammed its opponent at full speed shooting its opponent out of the ring. Dante Had won the championships, of course I already knew he would, I watched him as he won challenge match after challenge match, his skills were undeniably good. It was my goal to defeat him. as I walked home I thought about the battle and how I could better myself to be able to even qualify for the battle bladers tournament. First I would have to get a better bey I wanted a bey and begged for one day after day, but my dad got me a crappy lightwheel heat gasher, I couldn't even pull of a special move with it!, but my dad said "Show some talent then Ill get you a better bey." I lost every battle Ive ever been in but I never gave up. I saved up my money working at a nearby B-bit, I had my eye on their best attack type bey. The way it shined made me feel pride as a blader. It was then that I ran into them. They were three strong looking people, I could tell they were bladers because they had beys strapped to their belts. Without a word two of the boys held me down "lets see what you've got", said the third as he reached for my bey. he held it and nearly laughed. "Ha, all you've got is this crappy light wheel" then he threw it into the river nearby. "Hey" I shouted, wondering what kind of people robbed an innocent 14 year old boy, seeing as they were clearly much older than me. He raised his fist ready to strike me but then I saw a gleam in the distance and a bey shot out and struck the boy knocking him aside. standing there was my friend Aron. "Hey Nico hows it goin" said Aron. The boy stood up launcher in hand "Why you" He yelled, red faced. he and his friends launched their beys, but they were no match for Aron. In one strike he sent all three beys flying. Then his bey Cyber Aquario WA130R2F flew into his hand. "Im sorry about your bey" said Aron as we walked home. "Its ok it was a crappy bey anyway" I replied even though I felt awful. When I got home I went straight to bed. As soon as I fell asleep I began to dream. I was standing in total darkness with the exception of a single flickering flame in the distance. As it grew closer I saw that it was in the form of a fox. "You are weak" It growled. "Always needing some one to rescue you" it continued I wanted to cry. "I can give you true strength if you can show me the strength you hold within by taming me" I stood up to face the fox and without a word I took on a fighting stance "Ha" the fox looked as if it were smiling. the large fox then took a fighting stance waiting for me to make a move. I was the first to attack with a kick towards its head. the fox easily dodged and struck back. I got back up we fought for what seemed like hours. "Why don't you just give up" said the fox. I stood up I wanted to stay down but I knew I couldn't I was going to win this battle there was none here to rescue me. I jumped up and struck the fox with my fist, the fox fell, hard. It stood up, I took a stance ready to continue fighting. "You have bested me human, I have been looking for someone like you for a long time" the fox then turned into a stream of fire and dove directly into my heart." When I woke up in my hand was the bey Wild Kitsune.
End of chapter 1
by the way I put kitsune under the fox constellation vulpecula
I was in a crowd of people I felt the excitement in the room grow, I was at battle bladers year 3025. I watched as my Idol ,Dante, battled his opponent with his bey ,Poison Unicorno 130HF, The beys dashed around wildly throughout the stadium as the beys clashed. The sound of metal scraping against metal only raised the excitement. "Special move" Commanded Dante,
"poison horn strike" The bey lit up with a purple energy then the bey rammed its opponent at full speed shooting its opponent out of the ring. Dante Had won the championships, of course I already knew he would, I watched him as he won challenge match after challenge match, his skills were undeniably good. It was my goal to defeat him. as I walked home I thought about the battle and how I could better myself to be able to even qualify for the battle bladers tournament. First I would have to get a better bey I wanted a bey and begged for one day after day, but my dad got me a crappy lightwheel heat gasher, I couldn't even pull of a special move with it!, but my dad said "Show some talent then Ill get you a better bey." I lost every battle Ive ever been in but I never gave up. I saved up my money working at a nearby B-bit, I had my eye on their best attack type bey. The way it shined made me feel pride as a blader. It was then that I ran into them. They were three strong looking people, I could tell they were bladers because they had beys strapped to their belts. Without a word two of the boys held me down "lets see what you've got", said the third as he reached for my bey. he held it and nearly laughed. "Ha, all you've got is this crappy light wheel" then he threw it into the river nearby. "Hey" I shouted, wondering what kind of people robbed an innocent 14 year old boy, seeing as they were clearly much older than me. He raised his fist ready to strike me but then I saw a gleam in the distance and a bey shot out and struck the boy knocking him aside. standing there was my friend Aron. "Hey Nico hows it goin" said Aron. The boy stood up launcher in hand "Why you" He yelled, red faced. he and his friends launched their beys, but they were no match for Aron. In one strike he sent all three beys flying. Then his bey Cyber Aquario WA130R2F flew into his hand. "Im sorry about your bey" said Aron as we walked home. "Its ok it was a crappy bey anyway" I replied even though I felt awful. When I got home I went straight to bed. As soon as I fell asleep I began to dream. I was standing in total darkness with the exception of a single flickering flame in the distance. As it grew closer I saw that it was in the form of a fox. "You are weak" It growled. "Always needing some one to rescue you" it continued I wanted to cry. "I can give you true strength if you can show me the strength you hold within by taming me" I stood up to face the fox and without a word I took on a fighting stance "Ha" the fox looked as if it were smiling. the large fox then took a fighting stance waiting for me to make a move. I was the first to attack with a kick towards its head. the fox easily dodged and struck back. I got back up we fought for what seemed like hours. "Why don't you just give up" said the fox. I stood up I wanted to stay down but I knew I couldn't I was going to win this battle there was none here to rescue me. I jumped up and struck the fox with my fist, the fox fell, hard. It stood up, I took a stance ready to continue fighting. "You have bested me human, I have been looking for someone like you for a long time" the fox then turned into a stream of fire and dove directly into my heart." When I woke up in my hand was the bey Wild Kitsune.
End of chapter 1
by the way I put kitsune under the fox constellation vulpecula