Are you being sarcastic? Yes, execution is key. They didn't even read your story; they saw the idea.
General Writing Thread
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Look Noodoo no offence but you are being kinda offensive, i know its to help us but can you go a bit easier on people? also I didn't post my whole story just the basic idea, its not as simple as that, u know its just the start of the story, and i didn't want it to start too complicated.
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(Aug. 04, 2011 8:54 PM)NoodooSoup Wrote: Are you being sarcastic? Yes, execution is key. They didn't even read your story; they saw the idea.
I'm talking about your point. If it's well executed, does that mean that it's still bad due to it being sorta cliche? Not really, or else nobody would read Percy Jackson. (Or Harry Potter for that matter..)
'Tis true, I haven't thought of that (which is disappointing as I am an avid fan of Percy Jackson). But, I do also value originality a lot, and it influences my liking to something tenfold.
(Aug. 04, 2011 8:40 PM)Nwolf Wrote: hhmm, sounds good enough, anyway i'm wondering if i should start writing my novel again, i sent it to a publisher and they said it was good but then i decided at the time i didn't have enough time to finish the book, i still know one of the publishers, infact shes my gf! lol the story line is this normal guy that faces a near death experience and his guardian spirit appears and saves him, but due to the extent of his damages the spirit has to merge with his heart or it will stop, and due to this he becomes sorta superhuman, and people start avoiding him, then he meets another person like him in the streets accross the road, he can tell they will be rivals from looking him in the eyes. Then The kid ends up attacking him in the park with a blade which has a tribal dragon marking on it. the guy is about to get hit by the blade when he puts up his hand to brace the attack and he sees a flash of light even with his eyes closed, and around his arm he sees a white silhouette surrounding his arm, and the blade touching the light. then the blade shatters and the kid disappears. later on he finds out the white light is his spirit, so what do you think of the idea?
Deus Ex Machina.
huh? whats that? are you telling me its laready been done! caaaaaaarrrrrpppppp! oh well will have to make some adjustments, or does it matter they're a bit the same? a bit like naruto and bleach... (even though i've never watched bleach...) -.-"
No, just Google Deus Ex Machina and you should know.
I was planning on writing a proper novel instead of the beystory i have now. i dont have anything against my beystory. im actually pretty proud of some of it but it just feels like a waste of time. i want some guidance. should i give up on my beystory (which i plan to make sequels to if possible) and start a real story or carry on with it. pls help me
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(Aug. 05, 2011 3:48 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote: I was planning on writing a proper novel instead of the beystory i have now. i dont have anything against my beystory. im actually pretty proud of some of it but it just feels like a waste of time. i want some guidance. should i give up on my beystory (which i plan to make sequels to if possible) and start a real story or carry on with it. pls help me
I think it'd be best if you followed through, that way you'll have a better structure, I think.
Oh gosh, it's not hard; there's a Wikipedia article on it 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina
It explains it, and you don't have to know latin, jeez.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina
It explains it, and you don't have to know latin, jeez.
I can just post it here...Deus Ex Machina is basically...how Ichigo almost always wins his fights. Lol, but on a more serious note, it's a plot device where there's an impossible problem(villain, puzzle etc), and is suddenly solved by some new event, character, ability, or object appearing and saving the day.
look why can't you have a good attitude? none of you have even read my story and your making fun of it! what is it with you Noodoo! can't you just leave me alone! I already knew what deus ex machina means! my dad told me! can you not be nice to anyone? Its not deus Ex Machina because nothing unusual in it happens at a time of need! its not unlikely because 1 i already described the spirit part so its not unlikely to happen, 2 its a story! and 3 your not helping at all noodoo to be honest i just think you're making fun of it! why don't you try and think of something completely original! Its hard enough to find a subject that hasnt already been done! you're forgetting to get something published it can't be like any TV program, you obviously dont understand how hard that is. If it relates too much to something then i have to pay for copyright infringement! I can't just write about beyblade! also this book was going to be aimed at kids around 10-15, so i thought take it easy at the start like most books do and make a better storyline later on. If you have nothing nice to say or something that can help don't say it!
I'm just going to drop this here. And plus, I have thought of an original idea. I'm not going to post it here because, that would ruin the point of being original.
can at least apologise? it took me ages i mean years to write most of that book, and i really didn't want people to pretty much mock it. Sorry about the original thing but that book is very important to me, and as i said thats not 100% how it goes, I just wanted to say the brief summary, the bit where his life gets saved is a bit more complicated than that, but i couldn't type much as i've recently cut that bit of flesh between my thumg and forefinger and can't use my hands much...
(Aug. 05, 2011 4:46 PM)Nwolf Wrote: look why can't you have a good attitude? none of you have even read my story and your making fun of it! what is it with you Noodoo! can't you just leave me alone! I already knew what deus ex machina means! my dad told me! can you not be nice to anyone?
Its not deus Ex Machina because nothing unusual in it happens at a time of need!
1 i already described the spirit part so its not unlikely to happen,
2 its a story!
Not gonna try to be rude, but I think you have to learn to take criticism. I'll point out some of those things, using the bolded in your text. Please don't take it as making fun of you. I honestly just want to help out.
-First line, you obviously didn't know what Deus ex Machina was, because when I first posted it, you though that it was someone else's story...so can you not bash Noodoo for it?
-Second line, he's saved by a newfound ability that he didn't know he had. How do I know he didn't know? You said it yourself, LATER ON he finds out what the white light was.
-Third line, although it's true that his spirit guardian was revealed to protect him and make him superhuman, he still didn't know about his power.
-Fourth line, it's a story, and that's what Deus ex Machina is used for. When something like that happens in real life, it's called a miracle.
good point vintage, but i will say why i said i knew what deus ex machina means: my dad told me when i asked him before that post, not your post. third line i mean that it's not something completely unusual as its got something to do with the story and makes sense later on, not an unusual thing like one of the examples is in wikipedia which is that a spaceship turns up in 33 AD and picks up a guy.
Okay, I was hoping an argument wouldn't come of that, but whatever, it seems as if it's over. It seems I have a long ways to go before can ship my work off and see if it gets published, but it's okay with me! I've got the time at the moment anyway. Oh, and would anyone here like to help out with my writing website? It's got one full-time staff member at the moment, Sparta, and someone else hasn't signed up yet, I'll wait for him, but I'd still like some more staff to help with the writing. PM me and I'll explain the details.
Just took a Mary sue test for a character in a story that I'm currently developing and got a 5. I'm hoping that I can develop the story idea a bit more because it's sort of bland the way that it is now. Probably going to post a draft of the first chapter soon.
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Oh, snap! Forgot to update my story today, sooo sorry guys. Anyways since I'm on my iPod and cutting and pasting is tough, could you guys read the first chapter and tell me what you think? Is too out there or...?
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too? do u mean like 2 on the mary sue test?
A lot happened here eh? Anyway, I still haven't taken this MS test. Oh and this is only a temporary comeback. I'm studying for my exams.
yea you need alot of time for the MS test, its pretty long and makes you think
(Aug. 06, 2011 9:27 AM)Nwolf Wrote: yea you need alot of time for the MS test, its pretty long and makes you think
Metal Sharp test. lol. what does it really mean? ...
anyway i was thinking about deus ex machina thing and i think it is sometimes necessary in a story. the wiki page noodoosoup posted has a few examples where deus ex machina is good. when a wizard pulls a bunny out of his hat you could think of it like that. right...
i cant judge your story until ive seen it Nwolf but so far it does look like a deus ex machina. depends on how the story is told. even if it helps the story it may be seen as a deus ex machina and you have to face it, just not as a bad thing.
Yes, but using one seems lazy to me. There was no work in having to write what leads up to said appearance, since it comes out of nowhere. Also, in the Criticism part of the Wiki Page, it does say why it's avoided among authors.