The Arsonists (Non Beyblade Story)

Poll: What do you think of the story?

It's pretty good.
It's around the middle.
It's pretty bad...
Go back to writing Lost in Darkness.
Total: 100% 9 vote(s)
Hi everyone! So, I came up with this idea for a story in May and I've been slowly developing it, since most of my time went towards Lost in Darkness, but I started writing this out. I really need feedback from people so I can know what to improve within the next few chapters. Just tell me what you like, don't like, what should be changed, but please don't just say "IT SUCKS!" or "It's great!" I really need some constructive criticism, and I would be happy to go back and rewrite or change anything to make it better.

The Arsonists

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:
I'm already obsessed with this! The idea of a completely depressed teen most likely being thrust into some sort of new life is really good! Although I notice a couple of grammar and spelling mistakes, I'll definitely be reading this!
Thanks Titan Writer! I'm in the middle of proofreading and fixing mistakes so I would have an updated and edited version of this tomorrow, along with the next chapter. It's good to see that someone likes this story so far, and I haven't really even gotten into the plot yet.
this is a great idea, but I hope you don't abandon lost in darkness to work on this
Great story! I agree with Titan Writer! I got hooked...and I hate stories! (I mean I don't hate reading just some don't pull me in)

Off topic:I dunno why but the begining sounded like that Friday song by Rebecca Black..
Its a great story but the reason why i voted go back to writing lost in darkness is cause i really need to read the next chapter that comes out NOW!!!
i like how its telling you plainly whats happening yet it feels mysterious...
Thanks for the feedback guys! I'm still going to work on Lost in Darkness, but I really wanted to get this idea out to and see what people thought of it. For some reason, even though I thought about Lost in Darkness more, this is easier for me to write. I guess that, and the fact that the chapters are shorter, is why I was able to finish Chapter 2 so quickly. I also edited the first chapter and made some changes like Titan Writer suggested. I hope you guys like it!
nooooo he's dead already!? but this does let me do my prediction. he comes back to life with some sort of super power, right?
You'll have to wait until later today or sometime tomorrow to see. I'm going to try and do a chapter a day for this story, since it is really easy for me to write this story and it isn't that much of a long and complex storyline like Lost in Darkness is.
So this is your new idea...
I Love it! Pretty original if you ask me, and I got a hardtime finding mistakes in the story.

P.S. Kyle is my real name! And the name of my character in my new story.

You should check out my new story!
Oh, I forgot to update this! I've been doing a lot of work on summer assignments, I just started them and procrastinated way too much, and it has been sucking up all of my time. I've also been spending a lot of time on the design a beyblade face contest.

I figured out my schedule that I will use for updating this story. Until the end of August, I will try to post a chqptr everyday except for the weekends. If I miss a day, I'll either post it the next day along with the next chapter or just post it alone the next day and do the one that I was planning on doing for the day after that, so it would end with the chapter that was supposed to be on Friday be on Saturday. I'll be trying to follow this schedule as much as I can, unless I post something that says I will do it differently.

Thanks to everyone that has posted and given me feedback on this story! It really helps me to improve on my writing and I really appreciate it! In a few days, I will design a userbar and set up the same Become A Fan thing that I did for Lost in Darkness on this story. When I do set this up, please become a fan and show your support for this.

Now, about chapters 3 and 4. Due to the Summer Assignments and the face contest, I haven't been able to finish them. Chapter 3 is halfway done and I will post it later today. Chapter 4 will be up tomorrow, as long as the Reality Altering Hades Upheaval doesn't interfere with it. Afterwards, I will continue with this schedule as planned.

@XwailingX: Thanks for the feedback! It's cool that there is a name match with the character of my story and your name. I usually pick names based on symbolism, but I just thought that this name really fit he character. As for your story, I'll have to read it later today. I'm supposed to be asleep right now but a game of RISK that I played took a long time and now I'm laying in my bed on my iPad with my parents thinking I'm asleep. I'll read it as soon as I wake up, since I'm really tired, and my concentration really drops when I'm tired.