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[Fan Fiction]  Story Of Lane's Sister: Athena (SuperKing OC Story)

Sep. 30, 2020  4:01 AM
 
Athena, a 10 year old girl who happens to be the younger sister of Lane Valhalla. Once obtaining Lucifer, Lane abandoned everything, his mentor Shu and his little sister Athena. Worried that his flare would eventually destroy him, Athena takes it upon herself to bring an end to the Black Sun that is her brother, Lane. A new tournament begins and Lane was confirmed to enter but with Destruction on his mind. Now trying to prevent him from wreaking havoc in the tournament, Lane's life is now in Athenas hands. 

Note: This is a Sparking AU!


Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Episode Count - 51 + 2 Bonus Chapters (PM me saying OOF to get all 51 chapter titles)

all beys

Guide/Angelic Adeona Ch' 4A -> Adeona Heaven/Royal 王 Cm'
Variant Lucifer Mb 2D -> Flare Lucifer Dr 2D
Super Hyperion Xc 1A
King Helios Zn 1B
Brave Valkyrie Ev' 2A
World Spriggan U' 2B
Infinite Achilles Dm' 1B
Tempest Dragon Cm 1A
Glide Ragnaruk Wh R 1S
Curse Satan Hr Un 1D
Rage Longinus Ds' 3A
Mirage Fafnir Nt 2S
Death/Abyss Diabolos Gn' 3B
Zone Xcalibur 1'D Ir' 5A  
Utopia Genesis Hy 1D
Pulse Wyvern Om 3D
Lunatic Cthulhu Wh Pm' 1S

Episodes
Spoiler (Click to View)

Story Of Lanes Sister: Athena - Paths Of Dreams And Fire

4 years later, Athena continues her journey to bring Lane to his senses.

Bey List

1. Dream Adeona St Ds' 6A - Imperial Adeona Sr' 6A
2. Berserker Orion Wh Un 1D  
3. Disaster Lucifer Ar Im 4D - Lucifer The End 皇 (Kou) Dr
4. Smash Dragren X' 7A

S2 Chapters
Spoiler (Click to View)
Season 3 Stuff (Dont click spoiler unless you WANT to be spoiled)
Spoiler (Click to View)
Sep. 30, 2020  4:03 PM
 
Chapters 1-9
Spoiler (Click to View)
Also CheetoBlader when you get the chance can you add this to your fan fiction list please.
Oct. 01, 2020  4:24 AM
 
I guess since Athena is the main character of this story, here is some info about her

Spoiler (Click to View)
There is actually another new character coming so be ready for that.
Oct. 01, 2020  2:13 PM
 
(Oct. 01, 2020  4:24 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: I guess since Athena is the main character of this story, here is some info about her

Spoiler (Click to View)
There is actually another new character coming so be ready for that.
Adeona! I thoght that was Hestia right?
Oct. 01, 2020  4:33 PM
 
(Oct. 01, 2020  2:13 PM)SunBlader98 Wrote:
(Oct. 01, 2020  4:24 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: I guess since Athena is the main character of this story, here is some info about her

Spoiler (Click to View)
There is actually another new character coming so be ready for that.
Adeona! I thoght that was Hestia right?
No, Hestia is the virgin goddess of the hearth, the right ordering of domesticity, the family, the home, and the state. And she is Greek, not Roman 

Adeona in short is the Goddess of protection, as she gently guides children home.
Oct. 04, 2020  12:00 AM
 
Chapters 10-26
Spoiler (Click to View)
Oct. 04, 2020  7:45 PM
 
Chapter 3 and 4 have been added to the first post.
Oct. 05, 2020  3:31 PM
 
Chapter 5 and 6 Summaries

Chapter 5
Spoiler (Click to View)
Chapter 6
Spoiler (Click to View)
Oct. 07, 2020  10:12 PM
 
first person to PM me saying oof gets the overview of the new Genesis
Oct. 08, 2020  6:38 PM
 
based on the current episodes that are out, what is your current rating on the story so far (will do this once again when the story concludes)

here is the template

NOTE: you can rate it out of 5 or 10, it doesnt matter

Grammar:
Story:
Characters:
Dialogue:
Length:
Total:
Oct. 08, 2020  6:49 PM
 
(Oct. 08, 2020  6:38 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: based on the current episodes that are out, what is your current rating on the story so far (will do this once again when the story concludes)

here is the template

NOTE: you can rate it out of 5 or 10, it doesnt matter

Grammar:
Story:
Characters:
Dialogue:
Length:
Total:

Grammar 5/5 as far as screenplays go it’s pretty good

Story: 4/5 it kind of drags

Dialogue: 3/5 Dialogue is ok, maybe try to add more spicy words

Characters: 3/5 we are only introduced to Athena so far, to be fair you have just started so my opinion is likely to change

Length: 2/5 it’s not so lengthy so this tends to cause less character development, also another reason why I gave 3/5 in characters is because you are 4 chapters in to the story and not much change in any other characters

Total: 17/25 definitely the low high end of the beyblade fanfic spectrum.
Oct. 08, 2020  7:06 PM
 
(Oct. 08, 2020  6:49 PM)6Jupiter5 Wrote:
(Oct. 08, 2020  6:38 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: based on the current episodes that are out, what is your current rating on the story so far (will do this once again when the story concludes)

here is the template

NOTE: you can rate it out of 5 or 10, it doesnt matter

Grammar:
Story:
Characters:
Dialogue:
Length:
Total:

Grammar 5/5 as far as screenplays go it’s pretty good

Story: 4/5 it kind of drags

Dialogue: 3/5 Dialogue is ok, maybe try to add more spicy words

Characters: 3/5 we are only introduced to Athena so far, to be fair you have just started so my opinion is likely to change

Length: 2/5 it’s not so lengthy so this tends to cause less character development, also another reason why I gave 3/5 in characters is because you are 4 chapters in to the story and not much change in any other characters

Total: 17/25 definitely the low high end of the beyblade fanfic spectrum.
thats fair. 

im definitely trying to work on making longer chapters

Dialogue-wise i can actually agree and very definitely looking into this for not just this story but my others in general
Oct. 09, 2020  5:37 PM
 
final summaries until Chapter 5 comes out

Chapter 7
Spoiler (Click to View)
Chapter 8
Spoiler (Click to View)
Oct. 09, 2020  7:25 PM
 
You wrote this story? Nice!
Oct. 09, 2020  7:32 PM
 
(Oct. 09, 2020  7:25 PM)UnionDragon007 Wrote: You wrote this story? Nice!

yep i did and thanks.
Oct. 12, 2020  12:48 AM
 
this is a Birthday Chapter i made on my 16th birthday, it is kinda rushed compared to the other chapters of the actual story itself

Note: this isnt canon to the story, just something i made for fun.

Birthday Chapter
Oct. 19, 2020  2:17 AM
 
Sorry for no updates. Ive been busy with life problems, Chapter 5 is now being worked on now.
Oct. 22, 2020  11:09 PM
 
Motivation has returned to write this story, i should have it out sometime next week.

here are the battles from the Chapter

Athena Vs Rantaro

Lane Vs Sisco (continued in the next chapter)
Oct. 24, 2020  11:29 PM
 
Since this is an AU of Sparking, there are some adjustments made that may be controversial but need to be accepted!

- No Hyperion Burn/Helios Volcano - everything was planned before they were even revealed and im not going back and changing anything! Hikaru/Hyuga also dont even have major roles in the story.

- Valt Losing - Like in the anime, Valt will lose at times. Get over it!

- Lucifer Evo - Lucifer will get an evolution but it might not be accurate to the possible Lucifer evo we're getting in November.
Oct. 25, 2020  4:27 PM
 
Prologue
Spoiler (Click to View)
Oct. 25, 2020  4:30 PM
 
(Oct. 25, 2020  4:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Prologue
Spoiler (Click to View)
Sounds like lane crashed the party. Maybe his flare would be his down fall.
Oct. 25, 2020  10:25 PM
 
Chapter 1: Start To Finish!
Spoiler (Click to View)
Oct. 26, 2020  3:52 PM
 
for those interested, Athena actually has a theme of her own (she is the only OC/Main Character i have made that actually has a theme song of her own)
Oct. 26, 2020  4:03 PM
 
(Oct. 25, 2020  10:25 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Chapter 1: Start To Finish!
Spoiler (Click to View)

This is so cool. Man I liked the part where Lane had to help out Athena and she was embarassed.
Oct. 26, 2020  5:10 PM
 
(Oct. 26, 2020  4:03 PM)EarthHelios Wrote:
(Oct. 25, 2020  10:25 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Chapter 1: Start To Finish!
Spoiler (Click to View)

This is so cool. Man I liked the part where Lane had to help out Athena and she was embarassed.
ngl, that part was honestly my favorite thing ive ever wrote... EVER
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