[Fan Fiction]  Lucha Burst fanfic thread (Beyblade Burst: Ice Storm)

(Jan. 28, 2022  9:56 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote:
(Jan. 28, 2022  9:14 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: .
I'd reccommend to make a character form, else people might not know what goes where. (Or to specify some info that you want)
Btw, nice system.
I was planning on it i was just out of time and tired last night

Character Form: 
Bey Form: 
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Sure, I’ll just... Ctrl C and V. About the element thing, I didn't get it that well so if I have to chose one maybe metal? idk
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Character: 
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Bey:
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Equipment:
I really enjoy reading this fan fiction so im gonna enter my character

Character and bey

(Jan. 29, 2022  12:54 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:
(Jan. 28, 2022  9:56 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: I was planning on it i was just out of time and tired last night

Character Form: 
Bey Form: 
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Sure, I’ll just... Ctrl C and V. About the element thing, I didn't get it that well so if I have to chose one maybe metal? idk
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Character: 
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Bey:
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Equipment:
Question regarding the Pendulum Disc, can the unblance be alligned with the layer to balance it or is it always unbalanced no matter how it is aligned?

the "Elemental" Powers of Tornado beys are as follows and every bey in a specific Element will have certain special moves unless specified otherwise.
Air:
Metal:
Water:
Fire:
Wood/Leaf:

Beyblade Burst: Ice Storm Chapter #1
"Elemental Power"
(Jan. 31, 2022  7:10 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote:
(Jan. 29, 2022  12:54 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: .
Sure, I’ll just... Ctrl C and V. About the element thing, I didn't get it that well so if I have to chose one maybe metal? idk
.
Character: 
.
Bey:
.
Equipment:
Question regarding the Pendulum Disc, can the unblance be alligned with the layer to balance it or is it always unbalanced no matter how it is aligned?

the "Elemental" Powers of Tornado beys are as follows and every bey in a specific Element will have certain special moves unless specified otherwise.
Air:
Metal:
Water:
Fire:
Wood/Leaf:
.
I thought you would just skip that detail lo. Yes, putting Pendulum in a way makes it somewhay more balanced than in the other, although not that much since it doesn't align with the shifting weight in any way.
But either way there is still some unbalance.
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As for elements, Metal fits quite well IMO.
(Jan. 31, 2022  7:10 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote:
(Jan. 29, 2022  12:54 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: .
Sure, I’ll just... Ctrl C and V. About the element thing, I didn't get it that well so if I have to chose one maybe metal? idk
.
Character: 
.
Bey:
.
Equipment:
Question regarding the Pendulum Disc, can the unblance be alligned with the layer to balance it or is it always unbalanced no matter how it is aligned?

the "Elemental" Powers of Tornado beys are as follows and every bey in a specific Element will have certain special moves unless specified otherwise.
Air:
Metal:
Water:
Fire:
Wood/Leaf:

Beyblade Burst: Ice Storm Chapter #1
"Elemental Power"
I would like my bey to be a fire type if that's ok
Beyblade Burst: Ice Storm Chapter #2
"A Worthy Blader"
probably unpopular opinion: I felt lost twice while reading it (I read cp1 because I haven't seen it before lo)
Of course there is some lack of expression and I suppose both Kori and Grand are the protags, like Hyuga and Hikaru.
The full explanation of the parts does feel nice but explaining your entire bey before a battle is not a smart move, especially if you're a top blader. And idk why the top 6 bladers would care to help them unless they had to/were paid to/they know them from before and wanted to repay a favor idk. But to be fair it wasn’t revealed yet I guess.
I suppose the sudden news report is to hide the battle? Like, it happened but we don't know what happened, right?
Also, the amount of sheer exposition is just, wow.
The setting does look great tho, and the whole new blading world thing.
(Feb. 08, 2022  9:00 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: probably unpopular opinion: I felt lost twice while reading it (I read cp1 because I haven't seen it before lo)
Of course there is some lack of expression and I suppose both Kori and Grand are the protags, like Hyuga and Hikaru.
The full explanation of the parts does feel nice but explaining your entire bey before a battle is not a smart move, especially if you're a top blader. And idk why the top 6 bladers would care to help them unless they had to/were paid to/they know them from before and wanted to repay a favor idk. But to be fair it wasn’t revealed yet I guess.
I suppose the sudden news report is to hide the battle? Like, it happened but we don't know what happened, right?
Also, the amount of sheer exposition is just, wow.
The setting does look great tho, and the whole new blading world thing.

Okay first, I'll work on the lack of expression in the next episodes. wasn't really focused on that but suppose i should be it is important to a story after all, Second, Kori is the Portag and Grand is like a secondary character like Ranzo or similar. as the story progresses this will be more apparent. 


third,Hendrix confidence is a little bit extreme so the full part explanation is just pure ego and kind of showing that his technique alone is superior to knowing how his bey works if that makes sense. your right tho it isn't smart, that was the point. 

fourth, Later in the series we'll understand why they are helping them, there is a reason behind it. 

fifth, The News report was kind of meant to do that in a way, but also to hide Dalomo until later in the series.

sixth, (One short google search later) i'm not sure if thats a good thing but thanks I try. 

and finally, thanks I tried to set up a nice setting.
(Feb. 08, 2022  6:54 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote:
(Feb. 08, 2022  9:00 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: probably unpopular opinion: I felt lost twice while reading it (I read cp1 because I haven't seen it before lo)
Of course there is some lack of expression and I suppose both Kori and Grand are the protags, like Hyuga and Hikaru.
The full explanation of the parts does feel nice but explaining your entire bey before a battle is not a smart move, especially if you're a top blader. And idk why the top 6 bladers would care to help them unless they had to/were paid to/they know them from before and wanted to repay a favor idk. But to be fair it wasn’t revealed yet I guess.
I suppose the sudden news report is to hide the battle? Like, it happened but we don't know what happened, right?
Also, the amount of sheer exposition is just, wow.
The setting does look great tho, and the whole new blading world thing.

Okay first, I'll work on the lack of expression in the next episodes. wasn't really focused on that but suppose i should be it is important to a story after all, Second, Kori is the Portag and Grand is like a secondary character like Ranzo or similar. as the story progresses this will be more apparent. 


third,Hendrix confidence is a little bit extreme so the full part explanation is just pure ego and kind of showing that his technique alone is superior to knowing how his bey works if that makes sense. your right tho it isn't smart, that was the point. 

fourth, Later in the series we'll understand why they are helping them, there is a reason behind it. 

fifth, The News report was kind of meant to do that in a way, but also to hide Dalomo until later in the series.

sixth, (One short google search later) i'm not sure if thats a good thing but thanks I try. 

and finally, thanks I tried to set up a nice setting.
.
Exposition is when you expose lore and/or details through anything with the purpose to do so. When the big6 arrived, they started "spitting" lore on us, like how there is 5 types of elements, the full auto explanation of the entire combo (which i get now why happened), The introduction of the fusion ones and how they have all and that there's only three. You know, they revealed a lot of world building in a short amount of time. 
Don't get it wrong, exposition can be good, but a large amount of it in a short amount of time can be bad. For instance, the fusion beys knowledge could be hidden from us and the protags until sometime later. We could be introduced to the Earth element alone (he would mention other 4, but wouldn't elaborate)
Also, I’ll PM you in a bit if you don't mind.
(Jul. 30, 2021  11:08 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: Welcome to beyblade Bursrt: Ice Storm! New beys with "elemental" powers have appeared around the world, with some of the best bladers replicating the system, Young Kori Arashi is the first to make one of these "tornado" beys. with an overlooming darkness(The Ice Storm) devouring the beyblade world, Kori Arashi must get stronger fast! But he quickly learns this is no easy task. Kori will face many challenges, from injury to broken beys, Kori will face it all, will Kori Overtake the Ice King or will the Ice Storm take over beyblade forever? 

Main Character: Kori Arashi

System: 
Tornado system

Chip - A sparking like chip with 2 teeth on it, holds the layer together and has the motif. 

Blade Base - The Blade Base is divided into two parts the "Blade body" which houses the other two teeth of the bey and the main gimmick and blades and such. and the "cover" which holds the weight in

Soul Weight - Similar to a fusion of a db armor and a GT weight, it is sandwiched between the Blade body and cover of the blade base. 

Rin Disc - A average disc with 4 nexus like prongs so that the Disc Blades can attatch 

Disc Blades - Plastic pieces that attach to Rin Discs via 4 indents akin to S-Gear 

Driver - Average driver.


For the Duration of the FanFic you can submit a character/bey at any time, please use detail or else I have no choice but to ignore the entry as i can not play the character/bey right or at all.

What a coincidence! I was just thinking about adding 'Elemental' beys to my fan-fic, guess that's taken.
(Feb. 08, 2022  7:24 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:
(Feb. 08, 2022  6:54 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: Okay first, I'll work on the lack of expression in the next episodes. wasn't really focused on that but suppose i should be it is important to a story after all, Second, Kori is the Portag and Grand is like a secondary character like Ranzo or similar. as the story progresses this will be more apparent. 


third,Hendrix confidence is a little bit extreme so the full part explanation is just pure ego and kind of showing that his technique alone is superior to knowing how his bey works if that makes sense. your right tho it isn't smart, that was the point. 

fourth, Later in the series we'll understand why they are helping them, there is a reason behind it. 

fifth, The News report was kind of meant to do that in a way, but also to hide Dalomo until later in the series.

sixth, (One short google search later) i'm not sure if thats a good thing but thanks I try. 

and finally, thanks I tried to set up a nice setting.
.
Exposition is when you expose lore and/or details through anything with the purpose to do so. When the big6 arrived, they started "spitting" lore on us, like how there is 5 types of elements, the full auto explanation of the entire combo (which i get now why happened), The introduction of the fusion ones and how they have all and that there's only three. You know, they revealed a lot of world building in a short amount of time. 
Don't get it wrong, exposition can be good, but a large amount of it in a short amount of time can be bad. For instance, the fusion beys knowledge could be hidden from us and the protags until sometime later. We could be introduced to the Earth element alone (he would mention other 4, but wouldn't elaborate)
Also, I’ll PM you in a bit if you don't mind.

feel free to pm me i dont mind
New chapter tonight