[beyblade story]

chapter will Jason be able to beat aargo?

pm me or beybladefoever about your answer
9 chapter 9 because he beats him at the begining of chapter 9 then that evvil guy (cant say his name it would spoil it) is on the news at the end so theres alot of suspence then we find out who he is in the sequal no more off topic stuff just pm me
Ok i'll do that chapter tonight or tomorrow
Ok no more discussion of future chhapters i dont wanna spoil it for them
Dont post like that you could get warned change it so its more than one word
(Sep. 18, 2012  3:07 AM)beybladefoever Wrote: Ok no more discussion of future chhapters i dont wanna spoil it for them

Or you can just pm each otherMystery Solved
This story has way too much dialogue!. You should have a bit less taking and more action. Describe what is happening and describe how they are or why they are doing the things that they do! Also add more background story to the character or else no one will know why they are doing those things.(other than that everything is good)
(Sep. 18, 2012  7:08 AM)wingedpegasus Wrote: This story has way too much dialogue!. You should have a bit less taking and more action. Describe what is happening and describe how they are or why they are doing the things that they do! Also add more background story to the character or else no one will know why they are doing those things.(other than that everything is good)

people say they like dialogue
So is all the things i pm ed you about confirmed so should i start with the work?
(Sep. 18, 2012  2:22 PM)beybladefoever Wrote: Yeah pm it to me or kyoya

Ok started my side of the story with Chapter 1 up here is the link to the thread-

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-beyblade-story-Ryuto




i forget my characters special move so i have to create new ones
You know, it's not really a good idea to comment on your own story, unless you're just bumping it...
ok defstaminas right just pm me otherwise were just spamming
Work on the grammar, and content. You can do better.
i dont really feel like finishing this story anymore
Ok, I read the prologue, and...
YOU NEED WORK.
please go to this site to ask for reviews and to improve: http://s11.zetaboards.com/PenPad_forums/index/
It's a writing forum based on excellence, the WBO's Top Writers are on there.
it's just boring now i dont know were to take it anymore
oh so you've got writers block