Lol ok XD Bro.
The Last King- A beyblade story (Accepting character requests.)
I dont want to end a story unfinished but, I have to say chapter 5 is done. I will finish the battle on chapter 6
Why not? It adds suspense!
In the first chapter when the flashback hits: tournament is spelled like this: tournament. Sorry if that came out a little rude.
Awesome what great suspense.
Yeah correction helps a writer.
(Aug. 11, 2013 10:54 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:The performance tip(Aug. 11, 2013 10:46 PM)jacolal Wrote: Actually you can use him as well. Sorry for the trouble.
It's okay. I just want to know his track and performance tip so I can include him to the story
(Aug. 11, 2013 10:54 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Ok but good so far
This battle is going to get heated. I am basing it off of one of the greatest battles of movie entertainment history, not a real beybattle but still :I
and the spin track is WD145RDF
Everyone, don't be afraid to comment on the story or pm me things you would like to see in the story. I may not get to work on a chapter today due to sleeping issues, but I am using time to write down tons of ideas and characters to add to my story.
Can we have an a little of story away from the tournament like chasing after Austin ot ace s back story the ninja clan of elite beyblade ninja seeks revenge so they take his sister XD and Austin Was The One who s behind it What a twist XD and I have to battle my master and you have to battle Austin And they challenge us to a tag team battle. Oh so much action.
(Aug. 12, 2013 1:53 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Can we have an a little of story away from the tournament like chasing after Austin ot ace s back story the ninja clan of elite beyblade ninja seeks revenge so they take his sister XD and Austin Was The One who s behind it What a twist XD and I have to battle my master and you have to battle Austin And they challenge us to a tag team battle. Oh so much action.
I don't want to give any spoilers, but I will say there will be a bit of the story away from the tournament for sure. Btw, that seems a little bit too revolved on you :I Your a important character, but not a main character Dont get upset though, I am planning like adding stories like that for everyone anyways :I
Ok Well lets have an opponent like nemsis the whole team has to battle
hey um is my character going to be used?
(Aug. 12, 2013 9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?
Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however!
(Aug. 12, 2013 11:26 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:(Aug. 12, 2013 9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?
Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however!
Thanks very much for including my character, if possible, can he battle ace?
(Aug. 13, 2013 6:32 PM)jacolal Wrote:(Aug. 12, 2013 11:26 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:(Aug. 12, 2013 9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?
Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however!
Thanks very much for including my character, if possible, can he battle ace?
Yeah he can. Ive been very busy latley so I wasnt able to write today. i will try tommorow, but will make no promises
I'm going to write chapter 6 today I'll start now, maybe not finish now because a friends coming over.
Sorry to be impatient but are you going to put up chapter 6?
(Aug. 12, 2013 4:46 AM)Themeeny7 Wrote: It's not rude. I am glad to be corrected for anything you find- because I am only 13 so my spelling is not perfect.
Being 13 is not a reason for spelling a word wrong. I'm 13 as well, and I'd never use that as an excuse. :p
Be sure to use spell check when typing the story. Either use your in-browser spell check or type it in Microsoft Word or something to get a combination of both Spell and Grammar Check.
1. Press the Enter Key. Putting everything into one block of text isn't very appeling and causes it to be a bit harder for some to read. For example:
Quote:________________________
The chilly air ran down my spine, as I thought about the incident.
"Hey! We need to go back home now!" Shane said as he ran towards me.
I nodded at him and began jogging in his direction. I could still feel the anxiety in my heart. I could hear the pumping in my head. I could feel the sweat drip down from my head. But, there was an obscure chill in the air.
Something was wrong.
________________________
2. Improve your grammar. When writing / telling a story, its best to keep the story in one tense; past or present. This allows for the reader to understand what is going on in the story more easily/ isn't as confusing. It could be a mistake sometimes because when writing you can accidentally say "shined" instead of "shone."
3. Be careful with the space bar. Don't put spaces after quotations.
This: "Come over here! " He yelled.
Doesn't look at clear and good as this: "Come over here!" He yelled.
Good luck on your story!
-- By the way, if you could go back to the first few chapters and clean them up/ correctt them, that'd be great!
HEY EVERYONE, DUE TO FREQUENT REQUEST MEENY IS BACK AND SO IS CHRISTIAN IN THE LAST KING SERIES. I AM NOT FINISHED WITH CHAPTER 6, BUT A HALF OF IT HAS BEEN POSTED AND I WILL TRY HARD TO DO IT.
edit: QUICK CHANGE OF PLANS! I AM GOING TO END CHAPTER 6 WHERE IT IS, THE BOOK IS LONG WELL THOUGHT OUT AND HAS ALOT OF VIEWERS, NOW I WILL DO THE SQUEAL INSTEAD. FIRST IMA CATCH UP ON THE SURVIVAL SERIES THOUGH/.
edit: QUICK CHANGE OF PLANS! I AM GOING TO END CHAPTER 6 WHERE IT IS, THE BOOK IS LONG WELL THOUGHT OUT AND HAS ALOT OF VIEWERS, NOW I WILL DO THE SQUEAL INSTEAD. FIRST IMA CATCH UP ON THE SURVIVAL SERIES THOUGH/.
I'm so happy this story is back! I have to read chapters 1-6 again because I forgot what happens-.-
Very good!