The Last King- A beyblade story (Accepting character requests.)

I dont want to end a story unfinished but, I have to say chapter 5 is done. I will finish the battle on chapter 6
Why not? It adds suspense! Smile
(Aug. 12, 2013  2:38 AM)Kyler_the best Wrote: Why not? It adds suspense! Smile
Because it feels like I am being lazy :I
In the first chapter when the flashback hits: tournament is spelled like this: tournament. Sorry if that came out a little rude.
(Aug. 12, 2013  3:19 AM)Kyler_the best Wrote: In the first chapter when the flashback hits: tournament is spelled like this: tournament. Sorry if that came out a little rude.

It's not rude. I am glad to be corrected for anything you find- because I am only 13 so my spelling is not perfect.
(Aug. 11, 2013  10:54 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:
(Aug. 11, 2013  10:46 PM)jacolal Wrote: Actually you can use him as well. Sorry for the trouble.

It's okay. I just want to know his track and performance tip so I can include him to the story Cute

(Aug. 11, 2013  10:54 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Ok but good so far

This battle is going to get heated. Tongue_out I am basing it off of one of the greatest battles of movie entertainment history, not a real beybattle but still :I
The performance tip
and the spin track is WD145RDF
Everyone, don't be afraid to comment on the story or pm me things you would like to see in the story. I may not get to work on a chapter today due to sleeping issues, but I am using time to write down tons of ideas and characters to add to my story.
Can we have an a little of story away from the tournament like chasing after Austin ot ace s back story the ninja clan of elite beyblade ninja seeks revenge so they take his sister XD and Austin Was The One who s behind it What a twist XD and I have to battle my master and you have to battle Austin And they challenge us to a tag team battle. Oh so much action.
(Aug. 12, 2013  1:53 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Can we have an a little of story away from the tournament like chasing after Austin ot ace s back story the ninja clan of elite beyblade ninja seeks revenge so they take his sister XD and Austin Was The One who s behind it What a twist XD and I have to battle my master and you have to battle Austin And they challenge us to a tag team battle. Oh so much action.

I don't want to give any spoilers, but I will say there will be a bit of the story away from the tournament for sure. Btw, that seems a little bit too revolved on you :I Your a important character, but not a main character Tongue_out Dont get upset though, I am planning like adding stories like that for everyone anyways :I
Ok Well lets have an opponent like nemsis the whole team has to battle
hey um is my character going to be used?
(Aug. 12, 2013  9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?

Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however! Tongue_out
(Aug. 12, 2013  11:26 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2013  9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?

Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however! Tongue_out

Thanks very much for including my character, if possible, can he battle ace?
(Aug. 13, 2013  6:32 PM)jacolal Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2013  11:26 PM)Themeeny7 Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2013  9:44 PM)jacolal Wrote: hey um is my character going to be used?

Oh yes it will. I already had my ideas down for chapter 5 which I wrote while you requested and I don't like to change my ideas when I already confirmed how I want them to be. Chapter 5 is finished now, so You'll be in chapter 6, however! Tongue_out

Thanks very much for including my character, if possible, can he battle ace?

Yeah he can. Ive been very busy latley so I wasnt able to write today. i will try tommorow, but will make no promises
I'm going to write chapter 6 today Grin I'll start now, maybe not finish now because a friends coming over.
Sorry to be impatient but are you going to put up chapter 6?
(Aug. 12, 2013  4:46 AM)Themeeny7 Wrote: It's not rude. I am glad to be corrected for anything you find- because I am only 13 so my spelling is not perfect.

Being 13 is not a reason for spelling a word wrong. I'm 13 as well, and I'd never use that as an excuse. :p
Be sure to use spell check when typing the story. Either use your in-browser spell check or type it in Microsoft Word or something to get a combination of both Spell and Grammar Check.

1. Press the Enter Key. Putting everything into one block of text isn't very appeling and causes it to be a bit harder for some to read. For example:
Quote:________________________

The chilly air ran down my spine, as I thought about the incident.
"Hey! We need to go back home now!" Shane said as he ran towards me.
I nodded at him and began jogging in his direction. I could still feel the anxiety in my heart. I could hear the pumping in my head. I could feel the sweat drip down from my head. But, there was an obscure chill in the air.

Something was wrong.
________________________

2. Improve your grammar. When writing / telling a story, its best to keep the story in one tense; past or present. This allows for the reader to understand what is going on in the story more easily/ isn't as confusing. It could be a mistake sometimes because when writing you can accidentally say "shined" instead of "shone."

3. Be careful with the space bar. Don't put spaces after quotations.

This: "Come over here! " He yelled.

Doesn't look at clear and good as this: "Come over here!" He yelled.

Good luck on your story!


-- By the way, if you could go back to the first few chapters and clean them up/ correctt them, that'd be great! Joyful_3
HEY EVERYONE, DUE TO FREQUENT REQUEST MEENY IS BACK AND SO IS CHRISTIAN IN THE LAST KING SERIES. I AM NOT FINISHED WITH CHAPTER 6, BUT A HALF OF IT HAS BEEN POSTED AND I WILL TRY HARD TO DO IT.

edit: QUICK CHANGE OF PLANS! I AM GOING TO END CHAPTER 6 WHERE IT IS, THE BOOK IS LONG WELL THOUGHT OUT AND HAS ALOT OF VIEWERS, NOW I WILL DO THE SQUEAL INSTEAD. FIRST IMA CATCH UP ON THE SURVIVAL SERIES THOUGH/.
I'm so happy this story is back!Joyful_2 I have to read chapters 1-6 again because I forgot what happens-.-
(Dec. 10, 2013  3:21 PM)ryukiba Wrote: I'm so happy this story is back!Joyful_2 I have to read chapters 1-6 again because I forgot what happens-.-

Lol same with chu. I'm glad you are excited for my return, I worried that no one would care after all this time...