Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [100% Completed. Just needs Approval]

What you need to do is reword the Poison section. It mentions Dark too much. Actually explain more about it's performance, why it has bad defense, why it has recoil, why it has bad stamina etc.
He already mentioned it. It loses enormous amount of spin when hit due to it's bad recoil and design.
Well is it the multple protrusions that causes the recoil? the multiple contct points? the very thin design? Explain. Also, the wording isn't good enough.
Does it really matter that much? Do we really need to go into detail on why one of the worst wheel is that bad
(Feb. 15, 2011  11:59 PM)Ultrablader Wrote: Does it really matter that much? Do we really need to go into detail on why one of the worst wheel is that bad
Obviously not...

@Sequoia - The wording is fine. I have read Articles that have been approved and gotten confused by the way they were worded. I had to read a sentence like twice to understand it. While, in my Article Rough Draft, It's pretty self explanatory.
I finally had time to do some tests with SW145. From what I have observed, the reasons it does so poor is because the wings are very thin, compared to GB145 for instance, and there is a considerable gap between them and the Metal Wheel (I used Earth). As soon as I took off the wings part from the core of the Track for the first time, the wings started to 'rattle' on the Track, which might also ruin some of its Defense. Moreover, the shape is just "random" : it seems that circular shapes work much better.



To me the following should not be mentioned :
Quote:Although, if Takara Tomy made it so the Wings could rotate, it would solve it's it's massive Stamina problem.
It does not even seem like it would really be remarkably better. It would still be a bad Track in my opinion, just because of its shape.


There are some grammatical mistakes too.
To me, it seems like the wings are not what makes it 4.2 grams. I think the core is quite a bit heavier than the wings. Like you said, they're very thin. Most of the weight is in the centre of the beyblade.

And, switching from defense to attack mode seems to do absolutely nothing.
Bump

Thank you Kai-V for the testing on SW145. Joyful_3 It is greatly appreciated. I apologize if I was becoming an annoyance to you.

I will go through the article and try to find some Grammatical Errors that I can fix. (Kai-V mentioned that there were some...) But, I'm obviously not a Grammatical Superior type dude. I might make some of it worse. (Don't want that to happen) So I won't get to heavily involved in fixing them. But, if anybody is willing to fix those Grammatical errors, it would be greatly appreciated. (Please) (I beg you)
(Dec. 18, 2010  2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Clear Wheel: Serpent

Weight: 2.9g

The original release of Serpent is green, and translucent, featuring several notches and protrusions, representing many snakes overlapping each other.
just reworded it
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(Dec. 18, 2010  2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Metal Wheel: Poison

Weight: 29.6g

Poison was first released with Poison Serpent SW145SD. It is predominantly circular, with fifteen small rectangular spikes on its circumference. Each spike curves to the side in a Counter Clock-Wise direction. These spikes tend to have extensive amount of recoil, Similar to the Rock and Dark Wheels. This trait makes Poison relatively useless. Unlike the Rock Wheel, Poison's recoil doesn't cause it to bounce away from it's opponent when it makes contact. Instead, it loses an extensive amount of Stamina. Similar to the Dark Wheel's recoil, but much worse. The Wheel is relatively thin throughout. The design of Poison has a raised perimeter, which, like Flame, exposes more of the Track below than other wheels. This makes it easier for other Beyblade's to strike its Track, and the mix in characteristics makes it perform badly in all areas, similar to Dark.
Reworded this:
SSJfisherman Wrote:Poison was first released with Poison Serpent SW145SD. Each spike curves in a Counter Clock-Wise direction, and produce a significant amount of recoil. Unlike traditional signs of recoil, Poison loses an extensive amount of Stamina from being hit, similar to the Dark Metal Wheel. Poison is relatively thin throughout, due to a raised perimeter, similar to the Flame Metal Wheel. Poison suffers from many flaws and performs badly in all aspects of Beyblade.
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(Dec. 18, 2010  2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Track: Switch 145

Weight: 4.2g

SW145 has three wings which can be removed and "switched" to have either defensive or offensive properties. It is switched by removing the bottom and pulling the wings down. After the first few times of changing the modes, the wings may start to rattle, causing a loss in Stamina and Defense. The wings on this Track are shaped in a random pattern that is similar to the blades of a fan. Circular shapes seem to work much better for defense Tracks. When in Attack mode, the tip of the wings face counter clock-wise. When in Defense mode, the tips face clock-wise. Although this seems like a good concept, it performs badly in both areas and the difference in performance is negligible. The reason behind this terrible performance is that the "Wings" are approximately 1 mm thick, and do not provide enough protection against low attackers, due to a considerable gap between them and the Metal Wheel. Better choices for Attack would be would be 85, 100, or CH120, and better choices for Defense would be GB145, R145, or 230.
reworded parts in here
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(Dec. 18, 2010  2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Bottom: Semi-Defense

Weight: 0.5 grams

Just as the Semi-Flat Bottom has a sharper tip than Flat, so too does Semi-Defense when compared to Defense. Before the release of SD, D was the absolute best Stamina Bottom available, but SD quickly took over the top spot.

SD is not able to wobble as much as D, so for defensive purposes, D should still be chosen over SD if you are trying to add some Stamina to your Defense custom. That being said, WD would be a better choice than D for that situation, and also arguably for Stamina as well because with the even wider tip. With it, it is allowed to circle the stadium in some situations when it is on a larger angle towards the end of a battle, thus outspinning D or SD based opponents. However, sometimes this does not happen, and SD easily knocks over the wobbling WD custom before it topples over itself.

It really comes down to personal preference when deciding whether to use SD or WD because they are so closely matched. For pure Stamina it impossible to tell which would win a given match, but WD would prepare you for more situations by being able to take hits better than SD. Test both and decide for yourself which one works best for what you are trying to do.

Use in Stamina Customizations.

SD has many uses in Top-Tier Stamina Customizations. In Takara Tomy Stadiums, SD can be used in the following Stamina Customizations.
-Virgo DF145SD
-Burn Bull DF145SD
-Earth Bull DF145SD
this whole section needs to be updated(I realize that you copied it from dark bull):
SSJfisherman Wrote:SD is of the "Defense" series of bottoms. It is the smallest of SD, D, and WD, and has exceptional stamina properties. Although the name suggests it is a Defense bottom, it is oriented from the "Sharp" series bottoms, and the little contact it has with the stadium is only useful for Stamina.
SD is not able to wobble as much as D, but SD has proven to outclass D in terms of Stamina. Compared to WD, SD is able to wobble at greater angles, and has a higher spin rate near the end of a battle. Many Bladers prefer WD though, due to added stability, slightly better Spin times, and it can take hits better than SD
Use in Stamina Customization
SD is a current Top Tier Stamina Bottom, which is often used in the combo Burn Bull 145 SD. It has high spin times and is difficult for many to outspin.


-----------------
Bam.
I think I cleaned it up quite a bit Joyful_2
Some of my parts may have some slight punctuation Mistakes; I'm on an IPad.
(Feb. 26, 2011  9:49 PM)SSJfisherman Wrote: Bam.
I think I cleaned it up quite a bit Joyful_2
Some of my parts may have some slight punctuation Mistakes; I'm on an IPad.
Your amazing man! You have helped me a lot with this article. I really appreciate that! Joyful_2

It's really great to know who your friends are.

Bump
This thread is still waiting to be approved. I have received no information at all whatsoever about if it will be approved or not. But, I guess the Committee Members will get around to reading the article when they can. I'm just reminding that I am still waiting for approval.

Also, here is the reason why I'm even posting in this thread right now. ---> I'm jsut reminding you all. Even though this article is waiting for approval, feel free to tell me about any mistakes, miss-spellings, Grammatical Errors, Etc. that you see. It would be helpful and hopefully help get the article done faster. So, feel free to let me know.
Quote:Poison was first released with Poison Serpent SW145SD (Most Articles don't mention it). Fifteen spikes circle/surround the Poison metal wheel. Each spike/of them curves in a Counter Clock-Wise direction, and produces a significant amount of recoil. Unlike traditional(Traditional just doesn't fit here, use usual/general, if nobody can find a better synonym) signs of recoil, Poison loses an extensive amount of Stamina from being hit, similar to the Dark Metal Wheel. Poison is relatively thin throughout, due to a raised perimeter, similar to the Flame Metal Wheel. Poison suffers from many flaws and performs badly in all aspects of Beyblade.
Oops, ahah, looks like I missed the 15 spikes part when I reworded it!
Edit: actually, I like how bey-heart had the fifteen spikes part, before I edited it. I like it better than the way you wrote.
It also goes with the first sentence he had.
I think the first sentence if actually fine, it kinda gives it better flow IMO.
I like "usual" better than traditional Smile
Nobody noticed this but you din't say about Medusa being one of the 88 constellation in the face part
Even though it may look like medusa it's still the serpent constellation.
(Mar. 05, 2011  10:40 AM)Aquilaz112 Wrote: Nobody noticed this but you din't say about Medusa being one of the 88 constellation in the face part
Here's the thing: It's not Medusa. It's Serpens. Take a look at the Face...

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Bump

Thanks Nocto.
You didn't even mention the face.
You started with the clear wheel
(Mar. 06, 2011  4:31 PM)Aquilaz112 Wrote: You didn't even mention the face.
You started with the clear wheel
Bump

I had it on there... I must have deleted it by mistake when I was putting in Nocto's update.

Thanks for the heads up! Joyful_2
This is done in my opinion. Just be patient for it to be approved. Also, I love how you are keep on putting "bump" in most of your post in bold letters, heh.
(Mar. 06, 2011  9:37 PM)Sequoia Wrote: This is done in my opinion. Just be patient for it to be approved. Also, I love how you are keep on putting "bump" in most of your post in bold letters, heh.
Yeah it's getting kinda tedious to keep typing that...

I was pretty much thinking the same thing. Now I just gotta wait for approval to put it in BeyWiki...
Last thing (you doubled the CW section and forgot to make the Face section)

Quote:Clear Wheel: Serpent

Weight: 2.9g

The original release of Serpent is green, and translucent, featuring several notches and protrusions, representing many snakes overlapping each other.


Face: Serpent

Weight: X

The Face depicts Serpens, one of the 88 constellations in space.



Clear Wheel: Serpent

Weight: 2.9g

The original release of Serpent is green, and translucent, featuring several notches and protrusions, representing many snakes overlapping each other.
Bump

I think it's done now...
(Dec. 18, 2010  2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote:
Quote:Face: Serpent

The Face depicts Serpens, one of the 88 constellations in space.

Clear Wheel: Serpent

Weight: 2.9g

The original release of Serpent is a translucent green. It features several notches and protrusions, representing many snakes overlapping each other.

Metal Wheel: Poison

Weight: 29.6g

Poison is surrounded by eighteen spikes. Each spike curves in a counterclockwise direction, and produces a significant amount of recoil. Unlike usual signs of recoil, Poison loses an extensive amount of Stamina from being hit, similar to the Dark Metal Wheel. Poison is relatively thin throughout, due to a raised perimeter, similar to the Flame Metal Wheel. Poison suffers from many flaws and performs badly in all aspects of Beyblade.

Track: Switch 145

Weight: 4.2g

SW145 has three wings which can be removed and "switched" to have either defensive or offensive properties. It is switched by removing the bottom and pulling the wings down. After the first few times of changing the modes, the wings may start to rattle, causing a loss in Stamina and Defense. The wings on this Track are shaped in a random pattern that is similar to the blades of a fan. Circular shapes seem to work much better for defense Tracks. When in Attack mode, the tip of the wings face counter clock-wise. When in Defense mode, the tips face clock-wise. Although this seems like a good concept, it performs badly in both areas and the difference in performance is negligible. The reason behind this terrible performance is that the "wings" are approximately 1 mm thick, and do not provide enough protection against low attackers, due to a considerable gap between them and the Metal Wheel. Better choices for Attack would be would be 85, 90, 100, or CH120, and better choices for Defense would be GB145, BD145, R145 or 230.

Bottom: Semi-Defense

Weight: 0.5 grams

SD is of the "Defense" series of bottoms. It's the smallest of SD, D, and WD, and has exceptional stamina properties. Although the name suggests it is a Defense bottom, it is oriented from the "Sharp" series of bottoms, and the little contact it has with the stadium is only useful for Stamina.
SD is not able to wobble as much as D, but SD has proven to outclass D in terms of Stamina. Compared to WD, SD is able to wobble at greater angles, and has a higher spin rate near the end of a battle. Many Bladers prefer WD though, due to added stability, slightly better spin times, and it can take hits better than SD.
Use in Stamina Customization
SD is a current top-tier Stamina Bottom, which is often used in the combo Burn Bull 145SD. It has high spin times and is difficult for many to outspin.

Other Versions

* Burn Serpent WA130ES - Random Booster Vol. 5 Grand Ketos (Red)
* Storm Serpent T125HF - Random Booster Vol. 5 Grand Ketos (Purple)

Overall

Poison Serpent's only competitive part is SD, which can be obtained from the infinitely more useful Dark Bull H145SD. There is little to no reason to buy this Beyblade aside from collection purposes.
I edited a few things.
(Mar. 06, 2011  11:30 PM)L-Drago rules Wrote: I edited a few things.
Where did you get "Eighteen Spikes" from? The Poison Metal Wheel only has fifteen spikes. Are you blind?