So i know all you guys have been waiting for the sequel to 'Drahelix is born', and it's been long awaited (by the readers of course), so i thought i'd give you a taster of the new story, just a taster to keep you happy:

The Beggining

signal one

The wind whipped through the streets of Kyleer city, as the storm approached. It lashed at any passers by, but there were few, all new of the approaching danger, and most had left. The remaining group had boarded up with their supplies in anticipation.

signal two

Flashes of lightning arched through the midnight sky. Trees bent backwards as if to dodge the gale. Debris soared through the streets burying themselves into street lights. The smashed lights sparked and died.

signal three

The President spoke through the crackling speakers of TVs and radios warning of the danger, telling locals to stay inside and hope for the best. Hope. Hope that everything would be ok. But everyone was dreading the worst.

Thunder, And then a few seconds later white light. The city was engulfed for several seconds. Lightning had touched down on Kyleer, and in the place where it had struck stood a lone figure.

Arix Dranity was back.

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I like it when will you be updating, every week?

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DeviantArt

well it depends, if people enjoy this story and comment, i will start up the story for real, and will post the chapters when i can. it will probably be one chapter a week. however! i don't want people to rush me. the chapter will be out when i've thought of it! this is for your sake, otherwise the story will not turn out good! also i will not be taking character requests.

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So I know all you guys have been waiting for the sequel to "Drahelix is Born", and it's been long awaited (by the readers of course), so I thought I'd give you a taster of the new story, just a taster to keep you happy:

The Beginning

Signal One

The wind whipped through the streets of Kyleer city, as the storm approached. It lashed at any passers by, but there were few, all new of the approaching danger, and most had left. The remaining group had boarded up with their supplies in anticipation.

Signal Two

Flashes of lightning arched through the midnight sky. Trees bent backwards as if to dodge the gale. Debris soared through the streets burying themselves into street lights. The smashed lights sparked and died.

Signal Three

The President spoke through the crackling speakers of TVs and radios warning of the danger, telling locals to stay inside and hope for the best. Hope. Hope that everything would be ok. But everyone was dreading the worst.

Thunder, And then a few seconds later white light. The city was engulfed for several seconds. Lightning had touched down on Kyleer, and in the place where it had struck stood a lone figure.

Arix Dranity was back.

Fixed.

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"You want something to happen? Make it happen."
[Novel] The Andromeda Files : The End Of Eternity

oh thanks BP, didn't see those! anyway what do you guys think?

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also if you guys could help advertise it in your sig it would be great if you want to, if not curse you! lol jks, but anyone want part 2? i kinda want people to read this and post

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Pretty interesting for now, but yeah, fix what BP did. Like capitalization and stuff; I honestly can't read a story that doesn't have that

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

yeah thanks, i was never any good at capitalizations, anyway just to let you know, this will relate to the drahelix is born story, so it might confuse some people who haven't read it, however i'll leave clues of the past, so you can piece together what happened

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chapter 2 will soon be out, maybe later today if you're lucky!

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I'm currently writing chapter 2 and is looking good, also making a custom bey to go with this story and my beyteam

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Ah, nice. More than enough suspense, and the scene is depicted well. The similes are also pretty good. In all, I'd like to see more.

thanks alot, yeah i take my time to write good chapters, it's 3/4 done now, so should be up today definitely!

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next chapter, it's more of a filler for the upcoming fight!

God's whirlwind arrives!

One week had passed since the signal 3 hurricane struck the city of Kyleer. Since that time Arix Dranity had found himself wondering what was going on. One moment he had been engulfed in light, the next lying on a dusty road, with wind lashing at his smooth face. Just when Arix thought he was going to die, the wind gathered up into one sphere, and dropped down by his side. The last thing he heard was the clinking of metal before he blanked out.

He had found himself squinting into the blinding light of an overhead chandelier, and lying on a soft, immaculate white mattress. “Hello? Oh god is some psychopath chasing after me again, last time it was my brother, who’s it going to be next? And now I’m talking to myself…” Sighed Arix painfully. He could still feel the whip like wind leaving scars on his chest. He stood up, and then fell back arching in agony, his chest red hot. The pain ceased as quickly as it started, fading away as if nothing happened. Breathing out heavily he twisted around on the mattress to find himself facing a beyblade. “I wonder who’s this is…” Arix muttered, before memory flooded his thoughts, painfully. The storm, the light, the wind, the clinking of metal! “Aah, so this is mine then…”

Turbine Senpuujin. He only knew the names of these parts because of the facebolt and metal wheel. The spin track looked like a T125, but it was wider, and lower down. “Hhhm, maybe it should be called hurricane bringer 100?” considered Arix. “But what about the tip? Aah! I know! Vortex rubber flat!” Exclaimed Arix in a moment of brilliance. “I’m still talking to myself…”

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Senpuujin means Whirlwind Person. Just thought you'd like to know.

really? my japanese sucks, i thought it was God's whilriwnd, but is there a different translation for symbols then english? anyway doesn't matter that's still ok

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Hm. The story is great, and it looks really good so far. Just a few things:

1. Your grammar and spelling could use a bit of work. Just a bit of touching up here and there.
2. When you add tags after dialogue, you want to make sure the dialogue is only one sentence. You can split it up, like this:

“Hello?" Arix asked himself, "Oh god is some psychopath chasing after me again? Last time it was my brother...who’s it going to be next? And now I’m talking to myself…”

3. The chapter was good but so short. Can you add some length? Maybe combine a few chapters into one.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

like I said it was a filler, I've been too ill to write a substantial chapter that could easily connect the the two chapters, so I made a filler. anyway It's running up towards a massive fight, and when there's a massive fight, theres a massive chapter!

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Senpuugami means Whirlwind God and Gami no Senpuu means Whirlwind of God. You may want to change your title to one of those if that's what you wanted.

nah, whirlwind person sounds ok, also I must have got the symbols mixed up. anyway My beys spirit is a person, I was just going to make it a god, but now it can be a person of wind!

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Next chapter should be up later today with an awesome new beyblade battle!

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hEH, INTERESTING, EVEN i HAVNT READ YOUR LAST STORY. i'LL CHECK IT SOON THOUGH!

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I was qwertxj3

Spoiler (Click to View)

All credit goes to SDamonCronous for this awesome sig!
Check his shop! http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-SDamonCr...S-Now-Open
[img][/img]
Please click it! It needs your help to grow!
Call me Q3

thanks dude, and yeah It won't be so complicated you won't understand it because you haven't read drahelix is born...

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hEH, INTERESTING, EVEN i HAVNT READ YOUR LAST STORY. i'LL CHECK IT SOON THOUGH!

WHY U NO STOP WITH CAPS LOCK?! Just edit your post, caps lock is making your post look like SPAM. Stop shouting, geezus.

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"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere."

-Anton Ego/Peter O'Toole (1932-2013)

First:
@Ga'Hooleone-It would be nice if you added content to your post.

I like this so far! As stated by others, there are grammar mistakes, but they don't take away from the story too much. The plot seems interesting, but what on Earth happened to Drahelix?!

This post will contain spoilers. if you have not read Drahelix Is born fully, and you don't want the story to be ruined, don't read!

Spoiler (Click to View)

aaah well TITAN, the problem was that in the end of drahelix is born drahelix got destroyed, and became a completely different beyblade, however when I started this story, I wanted to have a whirlwind, and because at the end of the story he leaves to go to the other dimension, Drahelix isn't with him. So there had to be a new beyblade. Also I like doing descriptions including lashing winds and I was watching Inazuma eleven and saw Kogures hissatsu Senpuujin meaning apparently Whirlwind person. It fitted perfectly.

also just to let you guys know the reason this episode will not be out as early is because I need to chose which bey is the first enemy he faces. I don't want it to be the main one yet, but I don't want it to be a weak opponent. So I will post when I have chosen the bey and when i've started the story.

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