World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

God's Pawn (WIP Fantasy Novel)

Poll: What do you think about this Fantasy Novel?

You need to release this!
81.40%
35
Want to see more
4.65%
2
I will read when I'm bored
6.98%
3
Nah, didn't catch my interest
6.98%
3
Total: 100% 43 vote(s)
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  • Show Results
May. 18, 2011  4:41 PM
 
ok, sure can do, I'll update them and tell you asap
May. 22, 2011  9:28 AM
 
There are so much to do, spell fixing, story fixing. So much that I'm getting a little more lazy. I haven't even began on fixing Act 5 yets (16 left) >_>

I see that some people here that also posts their stories and get help from other. So I thought: "Why not get som help as well?"

What I need help with is:
- Spelling Error correcting
- Ideas for making the story more intresting
- Someone that can help me write Acts.

I need only two people for now. So please, if you want something to do and have alot of spare time, send me a PM and let's see what we can do.
May. 22, 2011  4:20 PM
 
I can definitely help you write. Just read my sub title!
May. 22, 2011  8:02 PM
 
(May. 22, 2011  4:20 PM)Sparta Wrote: I can definitely help you write. Just read my sub title!

PM please, I don't want this post to be spammed with stuff.

Just send me the reasons for why you want to help as well on what you want to help with.
PM <- remember that.
May. 31, 2011  11:56 AM
 
Act 21 is up people!
On the same thread and post as act 14 - 21.
Enjoy.

(if you find any spelling errors, please let me know)
Jun. 03, 2011  2:41 AM
 
one word EPIC its the best one ive seen
Jun. 03, 2011  2:41 AM
 
one word EPIC its the best one ive seen
Jun. 03, 2011  6:05 AM
 
Kavaski, just ignore the 3 other Inzoris, I have an upgrade to Izuma

Name: Izuma
Nickname: The Silver Shadow
Family Name: Inzori
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Race: Shadow-Form Drakage, a race of people that can control dragons and each of its members are top-rank ninjas (Shadow-Form Drakage can teleport and summon larger dragons than that of a normal Drakage)
Signature Weapon: Twin Shadow Kantanas + tons of shadow enhanced shuriken and kunai
Power(s): Ability to control Shadows, has his own dragon
City/Town/Village: Tokyo
Description: Asian, Japanese
Clothes: dark grey Kevlar jump suit and a black kevlar cloak with silver flames. his black hair with a sliver streak covers his left eye that conceals a mixture of Bayakugan, Rinnengan, and Sharingan (Rinnengan is added after he attains his Shadow form)
Bio: A kind person, impatientent, sensible, visionarist, former FBI agent he moved to japan after his house caught fire when he was 10, learned to be a ninja in a special academy. he is the last of the Drakages and the only one to attain the Shadow-Form.
Weakness: Water and continued annoyance, also annoying girls, lol
Jun. 03, 2011  8:12 AM
 
Could you add one thing to Xyo? i want him to have Eyes of Twilight h cansee in the dark and see very far like miles away and the power to have faster reactions when he is using it also an upgrade in speed and strength also summoning Lightning Elementals
Jun. 03, 2011  11:19 AM
 
I have added the stuff.
Jun. 04, 2011  5:20 PM
 
Act 22 is up people. I know you will enjoy this one (specially the end part)
I cannot post some soundtrack for now because my Media PC is broken and I have no working Editing Programs on my Laptop, sorry!

If you find any spelling Errors, please let me know so I can fix them.
Jun. 04, 2011  5:24 PM
 
You said teethes and there was a non-understanding phrase in the first part.
Jun. 04, 2011  5:34 PM
 
(Jun. 04, 2011  5:24 PM)quetzacoatl Wrote: You said teethes and there was a non-understanding phrase in the first part.

I have read through this act 3 times. I didn't realize those huge things there, thanks.
Fixed now.
Jun. 05, 2011  12:40 AM
 
that was amazing!!
Jun. 05, 2011  8:46 AM
 
This story has really taken a life of it's own since I last read it. This. Is. Awesome, Kavasiki! I'm serious, I have looked at a lot of stories from applications to join Reflux Fiction form my school (Hence why it is still a one-man company. Decent quality at best.) and this obliterates them all! In fact, as much as it feels like chewing on broken glass to say this, but it may even be better than the book I put on my site! (Ow... Saying that kinda hurt my pride.)
Jun. 05, 2011  9:29 AM
 
(Jun. 05, 2011  8:46 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: it may even be better than the book I put on my site!

Are you hinting me to join? Pinching_eyes

(Jun. 05, 2011  8:46 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: it may even be better
(Jun. 05, 2011  8:46 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: may

May? Really? Ah, just kidding.

I really apriciate all feedbacks, negative and positive ones. Without feedback I cannot see and/or correct any mistakes and might end up with a little boring fairytale.

Oh and the more detailed the feedbacks are, the better.

Regards from me.
Jun. 06, 2011  4:33 AM
 
I'm loving Act 22, YES! Izuma is back and ready to pwn some Devils! BOOYEAH!
Jun. 11, 2011  10:46 PM
 
I'm soon done with the fixes. I might update within a week and also add Act 23.

I'm still looking for Co-Writers that can help with the story AND fix spelling errors and come with ideas. Intrested? Send me a PM with the title: "Co-Writer". (no payment xD)
Jun. 28, 2011  1:44 AM
 
I like this a lot! The whole siege against the town/base/other place idea has always caught my interest. Feels kind of like a last stand.
Jun. 30, 2011  11:40 PM
 
After a long wait, Act 23 is up. I don't know if I did a good job on this one, only you can tell me what I did wrong, what I can change and where the spelling errors lies.

I'm still updating the other acts, but to be honest it is REALLY boring, help? xD

Anyways, Enjoy.
Jul. 01, 2011  7:04 AM
 
Its getting boring? weel to cheer you up i liked it Grin
Jul. 01, 2011  7:04 AM
 
Its getting boring? weel to cheer you up i liked it Grin
Jul. 01, 2011  8:11 AM
 
Cool story bro ;]

No, seriously, this is really good and may even better than my story, but you're way older than me. NOT HYDRAES LEGACY. THAT STORY SUCKS. Another one called 'Death of an Elemental'.

Never thought I'd read it all, haha.

What kind of character do you want? I can supply a name, and you can do the rest. Or I can just make up a completely new character.

P.S. Xyo, you double posted.
Jul. 01, 2011  9:42 AM
 
(Jul. 01, 2011  8:11 AM)Wraith Wrote: What kind of character do you want? I can supply a name, and you can do the rest. Or I can just make up a completely new character.

P.S. Xyo, you double posted.

It is up to you. If you think this story needs a new light or dark character, feel free to post one. The rules are in post 1.

I was also kinda worried about me not been able to give the right expressions on Felix and the others. Glad you all liked it!
Jul. 01, 2011  11:35 AM
 
i use IE7 so ya id does taht Wraith.
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