[Fan Fiction] Beyblade Burst: Matrix!

GenesisBlader · Jul. 04, 2021 8:33 PM

(Jul. 04, 2021 8:32 PM)PinkRose Wrote: I know Uriel's winning this one, but that doesn't mean it'll be exciting to read. And honestly, before seeing that final post I thought there wad the possibility of him losing this one, then learning from it to improve when the time comes for a second tournament or sonething similar. Either way, this is bound to be interesting.

ugh i dont wanna spoil it

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

PinkRose · Jul. 04, 2021 8:37 PM

Fair enough. Still hyped for the battle tho.

I'll definitely put something here soon.
Probably.
Maybe?
Naaaaah.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 04, 2021 8:39 PM

(Jul. 04, 2021 8:37 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Fair enough. Still hyped for the battle tho.

alright this battle will be the most epic battle i have made, i already thought of it lawl

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

GenesisBlader · Jul. 05, 2021 8:30 PM

Episode 13!

Spoiler (Click to View)

(Jul. 05, 2021 8:30 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 13!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Blasting End! The Quantum Cup Finale!

*Uriel and co. would be at the lobby of the arena.*

Aria: Alright Uriel, do your best!

Santino: We'll be counting on you.

Uriel: Alright, thanks guys! I'll do just fine! *He'd say as he ran to the arena.*

Santino: Oh no!

Shinito: What's wrong?

Santino: We forgot to train!!

Aria: Oh no! Well, he'll still be fine, right?!

Shinito: I dunno...

Bax: Me neither.

*They'd all go to the stands.*

*At the stadium.*

Hanami: Alright you Bey Fans! In today's battle we'll be wrapping up the Quantum Cup!

Hanami: In the blue corner, we have the Lean Green, Uriel Nomura!

*Uriel would walk up to the stadium.*

Hanami: In the red corner, we have the literal Wild Card, Juudai Akemi!

*Juudai would run up to the stadium. She'd turn around, facing the audience.*

Juudai: Are you guys ready for a show?!

The Whole Audience: YEAH!!

Juudai: Then let's get this battle on! *She'd say as she'd wave her hat around a bit.*

Uriel: *gulp* We can do this, Ulysses!

*Ulysses would shine.*

Juudai: We'll be winning this tournament!

Uriel: No, we will!

*Uriel would switch Ulysses to slash mode.*

Juudai: This'll be a piece of cake!

*They'd get in their launching stances.*

Referee: First Battle! Ready, and set!

Uriel: Three!

Juudai: Two!

Uriel: One!

Both: Let it... rip!

*Juudai would pull of a fierce Quantum Shoot.*

*Valt would run up the stairs to watch the match.*

Valt: This looks interesting!

*Back to the match.*

Hanami: And Juudai pulls off a fierce Quantum Shoot!

Uriel: Ulysses, go for a Clash Shoot!

*Ulysses would attack Joker in a flower pattern.*

Juudai: Joker! Merge Counter!

*Joker would lean on it's Merge' performance tip, then it would thrust towards Ulysses.*

Uriel: Counter that with Pursuit Whip!

*They'd collide in the middle of the stadium with Ulysses hitting the wall of the stadium, while Joker would do a U-turn and charge towards Ulysses once more.*

Juudai: Let's take our chances! Arcane Verdict!

Uriel: Pursuit Whip, once more!

*They'd clash in the center.*

Hanami: And they fiercely collide in the middle of the stadium!

Uriel: HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Juudai: HAAAAAAAA!!!!

*Ulysses would then be sent flying towards the wall, and on impact, it burst!?*

Juudai: Looks like luck was on my side!

Uriel: *gasps* What?! *He'd say as he'd put his hands over his mouth.*

Referee: Arcana Joker with a burst finish! Juudai Akemi gains two points! Score is 2-0!

Hanami: And Juudai takes the first points! Will Uriel make a comeback?!

Uriel: Argh...

Juudai: Let's proceed, shall we? *She'd say as she'd throw her hat up.*

Uriel: Ulysses, what should I do...

*Uriel would enter a white void, known as the avatar dimension.*

Uriel: Ulysses, I don't know how to defeat Joker.

Ulysses: Uriel, you don't have to. Just do what you think would help you succeed. If you believe in your self, I'll believe in you.

Uriel; Alright, Ulysses! Let's go Matrix together!

*Uriel would exit the Avatar Dimension.*

Uriel: Let's do it, Ulysses! *He'd say as his flare would blaze upwards as he'd attach his bey to his launcher, with his avatar looming over him.*

Juudai: You won't be winning! *Juudai would say as her aura would flare up.*

*Uriel would stay in Slash mode.*

Shinito's Thoughts: He's staying in slash mode?!

Santino: He must have something planned...

Referee: Second Battle! Ready, and set!

Juudai: Three! Two! One! Let it...

Both: RIPPPP!!!!

*Uriel would gain an immense boost in power, pulling off a Flaring Quantum Shoot!*

Juudai: What immense power...

Hanami: And Uriel pulls off an immensely powerful Quantum Shoot!

Uriel: Ulysses, attack!

*Ulysses would attack Joker, sending it towards the wall.*

Juudai: Heh. Joker, hit 'em with Arcane Shocker!! *Juudai said as she thrusted her two arms out, going from balding them up to spreading her fingers out.*

*Joker would rush towards Ulysses, then Ulysses would get sent flying up the stadium.*

Uriel: Hit it with Clash Counter!

*Ulysses would thrust towards Joker, knocking it off balance quite a bit.*

Juudai: Not yet! JOKER!!

*Joker's avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, engulfed in purple and turquoise flames.*

Juudai: Merge Counter!

*Joker's Merge' performance tip would grind against the stadium, then launch itself at Ulysses, making it hit the wall.*

Uriel: Hah! Ulysses!!

*Ulysses' avatar would erupt from it's beyblade in green and dark blue flames.*

Uriel: PURSUIT SWORD!!

*Ulysses would slash at Joker, bursting it.*

Uriel: Yeah!

Aria: Nice one, Uriel!

Shinito: Awesome job!

Juudai: Grr...

Referee: Pursuit Ulysses with a burst finish! Two points goes to Uriel Nomura! Point standings 2-2!

Hanami: And Uriel ties things with a burst finish! Who will win this final round?!

Uriel: Let's go, Ulysses! *He'd say as he'd put his beyblade in smash mode and attached it to his launcher. His battle aura would flare up wildy.*

Juudai: Let's work some magic, Joker! *She'd say as she'd attach her beyblade to her launcher.*

Hanami: This will, or may be, the final round!

*They'd get into their launching stances.*

Shinito: This might be the final round! I'm so pumped!!

Referee: Third battle, Ready, and set!

???: This battle will be interesting... I wonder if he would be a worthy opponent for Longinus...

Juudai: Three!

Uriel: Two!

Both: One!

Both: Let it... RIP!!

*They'd both pull off insane Quantum Shoots.*

Hanami: This time, both of them pull of insanely fierce Quantum Shoots!

Uriel: C'mon Ulysses! Let's go for a Clash Shoot! *He'd say while thrusting his arms forward.*

Juudai: Joker! Hit it with Dash Shoot! *She'd say while grabbing her hat and waving it around.*

*Ulysses and Joker would both be locked in a fierce clash in the middle of the stadium.*

Hanami: And they both seem to have the same amounts of power! They both aren't giving an inch!

*Finally, they both would be sent up the stadium.*

Uriel: Hit 'em with our Pursuit Smash!

Juudai: Go for a Arcane Shocker!

*They'd both hit each other fiercely, both of them getting sent up the stadium once more, but this time they would take flight into the air.*

Hanami: And they are both sent flying!

Uriel: Ulysses, Clash Counter!

*Ulysses would hit Joker, sending it downwards and Joker would then finally reach the stadium floor again.*

Juudai: Let's go big! JOKER!!!

*Joker's avatar would erupt from it's beyblade, engulfed in a purple aura.*

Juudai: ARCANE VERDICT!! *She'd say while bringing both of her hands outwards.*

Uriel: We're not done yet! ULYSSES!!

*Ulysses' avatar would erupt from it's beyblade, engulfed in a green flame.*

Uriel: PURSUIT DIVE!! *He'd say while thrusting his hand down.*

*Ulysses and Joker would then finally collide, sending massive shockwaves going out of the stadium.*

Hanami: Who will win the clash?!

Uriel: ULYSSES!!

Juudai: JOKER!!

*Joker would then fling Ulysses out of the stadium.*

Uriel: *gasps*

Aria: Wait, what?!

Shinito: That's how strong Arcane Verdict is... Uriel did good!

Bax: Not better than I did!

Shinito: Uh dude, you lost 4-1.

Bax: WELL SHE WAS GOING EASY ON URIEL!!

Shinito: Ok ok, we get it, jeez.

Referee: With a ring out finish, Juudai Akemi puts the score at 3-2, with means she wins the tournament!

Hanami: WHAT A BATTLE! In the end, Juudai manages to barely snag a ring out finish!!

Juudai: Good battle! I almost lost there.

Uriel: *sigh* Yeah, good battle. *He'd say as they would shake hands.*

Hanami: Since Juudai Akemi won, she is the best out of the new generation, and Uriel's the runner-up!

Uriel: I'll win against you one day, Juudai!

Juudai: We'll see!

Hanami: Alright you Bey Fans! I just got news, and there will be a new tournament, with the Quantum Four in it! Be sure to sign up for that! Hanami, out!

*Everyone would leave the arena.*

Aria: Nice job, Uriel!

Bax: Yeah, something for not practicing...

Shinito: He would've probably did worse if he practiced to be honest!

Uriel: Yeah... practicing get's boring.

Santino: *He would palm his fist.* Weren't you the one who suggested practicing?

Uriel: Oh, yeah. *He'd say, sheepishly.* So, are you guys gonna join the new tournament?!

Aria: Yeah, of course!

Santino: Why not?!

Bax: Eh. I'll consider it.

Uriel: Alright, see you guys there! *He'd say as he'd run off.*

???: If this is what the new generation is, then the'll have no chance at defeating the world champion. *He'd say as he'd hold up his bey.*

*Meanwhile, at Aria's house, something was, well, "off" with Nora.*

Nora: I've finally completed it! Now, Nemesis, we'll dominate the blading world!!

Episode 14 Preview!

Uriel: Uh oh! Nora has a bone to pick with Bax after the tournament!!

Uriel: Awesome! Nora has a new beyblade, I can't wait to battle it!

Uriel: Wait, all of Bax's gang members are...

Next Episode On Beyblade Burst Matrix!

Betrayal?! Retaliate Nemesis!

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

PinkRose · Jul. 05, 2021 9:56 PM

CALLED IT! I called it!

Plot: 5/5. We finally reached the land; the Matrix Bladers' cup has ended (and with one heck of a bang too). Lui's in town now, which is interesting to say the least, and Nora...yeah, she's probably planning something big (or maybe not).
Dialogue: 5/5. Cool beans, you're getting better with the dialogue every episode.
Characterization: 4.5/5. Love your portrayal of pretty much everyone, but I have a teeny tiny note on something I've seen that kinda repeats a lot throughout the story; it feels weird that every time Uriel's in a pinch and doubts himself, he instantly bounces back whenever Ulysses tells him something encouraging. Like, it takes a bit more than just one sentence to cheer someone up, ya know. But otherwise, you're doing great so far.
Writing: 4.5/5. Little to no mistakes this time, props for that.
Battle: 5/5. This is hands down the best battle in the whole fic (at least for now), and honestly, while I did expect Juudai to win, it was still awesome to read and was super close for that I thought Uriel would win for a second there.

Final Rating: 24/25. This chapter really was great (I'd even say the best), looking forward to see what will happen next (and curious to find out what will happen to Miss Wild Card in the future).

I'll definitely put something here soon.
Probably.
Maybe?
Naaaaah.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 05, 2021 10:00 PM

(Jul. 05, 2021 9:56 PM)PinkRose Wrote: CALLED IT! I called it!

Plot: 5/5. We finally reached the land; the Matrix Bladers' cup has ended (and with one heck of a bang too). Lui's in town now, which is interesting to say the least, and Nora...yeah, she's probably planning something big (or maybe not).
Dialogue: 5/5. Cool beans, you're getting better with the dialogue every episode.
Characterization: 4.5/5. Love your portrayal of pretty much everyone, but I have a teeny tiny note on something I've seen that kinda repeats a lot throughout the story; it feels weird that every time Uriel's in a pinch and doubts himself, he instantly bounces back whenever Ulysses tells him something encouraging. Like, it takes a bit more than just one sentence to cheer someone up, ya know. But otherwise, you're doing great so far.
Writing: 4.5/5. Little to no mistakes this time, props for that.
Battle: 5/5. This is hands down the best battle in the whole fic (at least for now), and honestly, while I did expect Juudai to win, it was still awesome to read and was super close for that I thought Uriel would win for a second there.

Final Rating: 24/25. This chapter really was great (I'd even say the best), looking forward to see what will happen next (and curious to find out what will happen to Miss Wild Card in the future).

lol thanks and i had so much fun making this episode

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

LegendJustice · Jul. 05, 2021 10:02 PM

(Jul. 05, 2021 9:56 PM)PinkRose Wrote: CALLED IT! I called it!

Plot: 5/5. We finally reached the land; the Matrix Bladers' cup has ended (and with one heck of a bang too). Lui's in town now, which is interesting to say the least, and Nora...yeah, she's probably planning something big (or maybe not).
Dialogue: 5/5. Cool beans, you're getting better with the dialogue every episode.
Characterization: 4.5/5. Love your portrayal of pretty much everyone, but I have a teeny tiny note on something I've seen that kinda repeats a lot throughout the story; it feels weird that every time Uriel's in a pinch and doubts himself, he instantly bounces back whenever Ulysses tells him something encouraging. Like, it takes a bit more than just one sentence to cheer someone up, ya know. But otherwise, you're doing great so far.
Writing: 4.5/5. Little to no mistakes this time, props for that.
Battle: 5/5. This is hands down the best battle in the whole fic (at least for now), and honestly, while I did expect Juudai to win, it was still awesome to read and was super close for that I thought Uriel would win for a second there.

Final Rating: 24/25. This chapter really was great (I'd even say the best), looking forward to see what will happen next (and curious to find out what will happen to Miss Wild Card in the future).

Hmm Miss wild card?!!!!! Lol same here

"From this moment on... You shall be know as Darth Vader" - Palpatine probably

LJ-Blader · Jul. 05, 2021 10:31 PM

Been reading this for a while and really enjoyed it, keep up the good work!

Yes, no, maybe? ¯\_(•,•)_/¯

Three bladed beys are the best.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 05, 2021 10:34 PM

(Jul. 05, 2021 10:31 PM)LJ-Blader Wrote: Been reading this for a while and really enjoyed it, keep up the good work!

thanks bro i've been reading ur fanfic too its also pretty good lol

(Jun. 30, 2021 9:06 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 8!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Ghostly Dragon! Spectre Fafnir!

*It was a bright morning in El Astro, and Uriel and the gang were heading to the Bey Park to check out what surprise Valt was talking about!*

Uriel: I wonder what surprise Valt has for us to help us with training!

Aria: Yeah! I have no clue what it is...

Santino: Yeah, Valt was clearly very eccentric about the surprise.

Bax: I hope it's a legend that I can battle for glory!

Shinito: *He would shake his head.* Bax, is that the only thing you like about beyblade?

Bax: No...

Shinito: *sarcastically* Yeah, right...

*Santino would chuckle.*

Nora: I'm looking forward to this surprise!

*The gang would arrive at the Bey Park, where Valt was waving his hands at them.*

Uriel, Shinito, Aria, and Nora: Hey Valt!

Valt: Hey guys! You ready for the suprise?

Everyone: YEAH!

Valt: Alright then, follow me!

*Valt would lead them into a forest.*

Santino: This forest is beautiful!

Shinito: This is getting pretty spooky...

Uriel: Shinito, don't telling me your gonna chicken out again!

Shinito: No... I never chicken out! I-I'm not scared at all!

*Valt would chuckle.*

Bax: This forest ain't nothin'!

Aria: It's pretty cool with all the rabbits and deers-

*Nora would attach herself to Aria.*

Nora: ARIA!!!! I-IT'S A DEER!!!

Santino: A measly deer?

Aria: Yeah, it's friendly, see? *She'd pet the deer.*

Nora: I dunno... *She'd scratch her head.*

Valt: Let's keep on going ahead!

*They'd travel farther into the forest.*

*They'd be at what looks like a place with pillars around it, then, suddenly, a figure with yellow hair and an arm softener would come out of the forest.*

???: Oh, they must be the people he was talking about...

The Whole Gang: FREE DE LA HOYA?!?

Santino: I didn't expect Free to be somewhere in the woods...

Uriel: Yeah, but it is really cool!

Santino: Touche.

Valt: Hey Free!

Free: Hey Valt, so these are the people you told me about.

Uriel: I can't believe it! I'm looking at THE Free De La Hoya in person! This surprise is amazing!

Aria: Yeah! Thanks Valt! This is awesome!

Nora: Thanks alot, Valt!

Valt: Don't mention it guys!

Bax's Thoughts: If I defeat Free, I'll skyrocket in popularity! Then I'll get to become the world champ and battle Valt! I'm gonna battle him first!

Santino: I won't be battling Free today... I want to battle him where everyone can see it.

Uriel: Wow!

Free: So, who's battling first?!

Uriel, Aria, and Bax: Me!!

Uriel: How about we do rock paper scissors!

Aria: Yeah!

Bax: I guess...

Uriel, Bax, and Aria: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoe!

Uriel: Scissors!

Bax and Aria: Rock!

Uriel: Aw man...

Valt: Ok, you two are going up first!

Aria: Yeah! I get to battle Free De La Hoya!

Bax: Not just you, I do as well!

*Santino would sigh.*

Free: You two are in a very poor spot if you wanna have a chance at defeating me. Lets just start the match.

*They'd take their places at the stadium.*

Shinito: Valt, do you wanna ref?

Valt: Sure!

Shinito: Alright, go for it!

Valt: Got it!

*Valt would run up to the referee's spot.*

Free: Meet my Quantum beyblade, Spectre Fafnir!

Uriel: WHOA! Thats so cool! I wish I could battle it...

Shinito: Man, Valt's gonna have a fun time watching this battle, huh!

Santino's Thoughts: A perfect opponent for Salamander...

Aria: That looks so awesome! But I'm winning this!

Bax: Us, dork!

Aria: How about you say that again!

Bax: DORK!

Bax and Aria: Grrr!!!

Uriel: *sigh* I don't like how this battle's gonna end...

Shinito: If they don't put their differences aside, Free will mop the floor with them!

Valt: Inspect your opponents beys!

Aria's Thoughts: Free really took this Fafnir to a whole new level. It looks like it has 6 semi-circular blades that have rubber on them and can spin steal, a bit like my Aurora. It seems like it also has a heavy disc with holes in it to help with stamina and outer weight distrubution. I can't really make out what the tip is supposed to do, but lets just see it in action!

Valt: First Battle!

*Free would get ready to launch with his hand.*

Bax: WHAT?! Your launching with your hand? What about your launcher, use that!

Free: I think I'm fine with using my hand.

Bax: If your trying to psyche me out, it won't work! *He'd say as he'd put his bey in Crush mode, then attach his bey to his launcher.*

Aria Thoughts: What is he trying to pull off... *She'd say as she'd look at Free.*

Valt: Ready, and Set!

Free: 3!

Aria: 2!

Bax: 1!

Bax and Aria: Let it RIP!!!

*They'd both pull off Quantum Shoots, with their bodies and launchers being engulfed in blue and pink flames.*

Free: So I see you both know about the Quantum Shoot, huh. This won't be half as boring as I thought it would be.

Aria: Go Aurora! Shining Siphon!

*Aurora would fiercely attack Fafnir, but it seems as though Fafnir absorbed Aurora's spin!*

Aria: Wait, What?!

Bax: My turn! Basilisk, attack! Go for your Dominate Crush!

*Basilisk would charge at Fafnir, but Fafnir would drain it's spin as well! It looked like Aurora and Basilisk were running out of spin!

Aria: It's not over yet! Aurora!

*Aurora's avatar would erupt from the beyblade, engulfed in pink flames.*

Aria: Let's go for a Shining Spiral!!

*Aurora would use its tip to boost up and charge at Fafnir.*

Free: Dodge it. *He'd say as he'd tilt his head to the right.*

Santino: Basilisk is done.

*Aurora would attack Basilisk, which was right behind Fafnir, and then Basilisk would lose all its stamina.*

Aria: Heheh, sorry!

Bax: Grrr!!

Free: Go, Fafnir.

*Fafnir's avatar would erupt from it's beyblade.*

Free: Spectre Drain.

*He'd absorb most of Aurora's spin, then Aurora would run out of stamina, causing a Survivor finish.

Valt: Survivor Finsih! 1 Point goes to Free!

Free: Huh, guess I was wrong, *He'd yawn.* who's next to battle?

Uriel: Me!!

*Nora would come over to her sister Aria.*

Nora: Nice job sis! You put up a fight against THE Free De La Hoya!

Aria: You're right... thanks Nora!

Nora: No problem! *She'd say as she'd sit down, about to watch Uriel and Free battle.*

Bax's Thoughts: One day I'll surpass you, Free De La Hoya! *He'd then sit down to watch the battle.*

Uriel: I've been looking forward to this, Free! But me and Ulysses will go super duper Matrix and defeat you!

Santino's Thoughts: Free's blading style compared to Uriel's blading style is completely immeasureable. Let's see how this plays out.

Free: Lets get to the match.

*Free would whip out his launcher.*

Free: Since I'm pretty sure you saw the match I did, it wouldn't really be fun to launch with my hand, wouldn't it? Lets see if you are strong enough to keep up.

Uriel: We're definitely strong enough, right Ulysses?

*Ulysses would glimmer in response.*

Uriel: We got this, Ulysses!

*Uriel would enter the avatar realm.*

Uriel: Hey Ulysses, it's you again!!

Ulysses: Yes, but that is not important. What is important right now is the battle in front of you.

Uriel: Yeah, Free's strong, I dunno if I can take him down...

Ulysses: Remember Uriel, if you believe in me, I'll believe in you. Focus on the battle in front of you.

Uriel: Got it Ulysses! We're gonna go Matrix together!

*Uriel would leave the avatar dimension.*

Uriel: Focus on the battle in front of me...

*Uriel's battle Aura would be flaring up quickly.*

Free's Thoughts: This should be fun!

*Free's battle Aura would intensify.*

*Uriel would switch to Smash mode.*

Shinito: He gets a big power increase, but its stamina wears down fast. I dunno if this is the best idea...

Santino: Your right, however, Fafnir isn't a defense type, so Ulysses' heavy attacks could knock it out of the ring.

Aria: Shush, Uriel's in the zone!

Bax: I wonder how this'll play out!

Valt: First Battle! Ready, and set!

Free: 3! 2! 1! Let it...

*Free would gain an immense power boost, Uriel would as well.*

Uriel and Free: RIP!!!!

*Fafnir would stay in the middle, while Ulysses would go zooming around the stadium.*

Uriel: Hit it with our Clash Shoot!

*Ulysses would land a very fast barrage of attacks, rendering Fafnir unable to spin steal.*

*Fafnir would be running low on stamina.*

Free: Hmm?

Uriel: YEAH! It's working!

Shinito: You're doing good Uriel!

Aria: Yeah! Keep it up!

Free: Go, Fafnir! Spectre Drain!

Uriel: No chance! Dodge it!

*Ulysses would dodge it, but then hit the wall and started to soar into the air.*

Uriel: Exactly what I aimed for! Ulysses!

*Ulysses avatar would erupt from it's beyblade engulfed in a orange flame.*

Uriel: PURSUIT DIVE!

*Ulysses would start making it's course for Fafnir. It would then hit it, but then... Ulysses bursts?!*

Uriel: What?!

*Free would smirk.*

Valt: Burst Finish! Free wins by a score of 2-0!

Uriel: What happened? Why didn't Ulysses burst it?

Santino's Thoughts: A Slow Motion burst...

Aria: Yeah, what happened? Fafnir was also about to run out of stamina!

Shinito: I don't even know what happened there.

Valt: That was a slow motion burst! It's when a fast spinning clockwise beyblade makes contact with a slow spinning counter-clockwise bey!

Uriel: Aw man... we lost... Welp, good game, Free!

*Free would smile.*

Bax's Thoughts: Another person I have to surpass...

Valt: Seeya Free! We're off!

Everyone: Bye Free!

*Free would wave.*

*The gang would arrive back at the Bey Park.*

Valt: So how was the surprise?

Everyone (Except Bax): Awesome!

Uriel: I'ma train a whole lot more to defeat Free!

Aria: Me too!

Bax: We'd better start headin' back to our places. It's gettin' dark.

Uriel: Yeah! Bye everyone!

Aria: Bye Uriel! Bye Shinito! Bye Santino!

Shinito: See you guys tomorrow at the tournament!

Santino: Of course! I'll be looking forward to it!

Bax: Whatever...

*They'd all go home.*

Uriel: Ulysses, we'll go super Matrix and win the tournament!

*Ulysses would shine in response.*

*A mysterious blader would watch from the distance.*

???: Hmmm, win or lose, coin, you choose!

*She'd flip the coin, it would land on ?????*

???: Hm! This tournament will be fun!

Episode 9 Preview!

Uriel: This is awesome! We're gonna win this thing!

Uriel: A new blader?! Yeah! This is gonna be so fun!

Uriel: We're going all out and making it to the semi-finals!

Next Episode Of Beyblade Burst Matrix!

Intermission! The Quantum Cup!

since we are already kinda in the 2nd arc i'll be revealing the legends that will be debuting:

Valt Aoi (Present) Beyblade: Paladin Valkyrie Shank Blade Ahead+Pierce
Shu Kurenai (Not Present)
Free De La Hoya (Present) Spectre Fafnir Withdraw Seize Void+Cushion
Lui Shirosagi (Not Present)

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

TylerOfChaos · Jul. 06, 2021 3:32 AM

ayo man wassup

Guys I will also make a fanfic because I'm inspired now lol

Hollowmind13 · Jul. 06, 2021 10:48 AM

(Jul. 06, 2021 3:32 AM)TylerOfChaos Wrote: ayo man wassup

Guys I will also make a fanfic because I'm inspired now lol

Nice (question: you're new? Never saw you before. If yes then welcome to the WBO)

Rank 0th means I'm better than 1st

TylerOfChaos · Jul. 06, 2021 5:11 PM

yes i am. thanks for the welcome

GenesisBlader · Jul. 06, 2021 10:24 PM

Episode 14!

Spoiler (Click to View)

(Jul. 06, 2021 10:24 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 14!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Betrayal?! Retaliate Nemesis!

*At Aria's House, Nora would be working on something.*

Nora: Vengance will be mine! *She'd say as she'd start to create her beyblade.*

Nora: Heh!

*Nemesis' avatar would watch over her as she made her beyblade.*

*At Uriel's house.*

Uriel: Alright, bye mom!

Mom: Bye sweetie! Have a nice day!

*Uriel would dash over to the Bey Park to meet up with his friend Shinito.*

Uriel: Hey Shinito! Wanna do some practice for the up-coming tournament?

Shinito: Sure! You know, that battle you did yesterday was awesome!

Uriel: Uhh, what battle-

Shinito: YOU DON'T REMEMBER?!

*Bax would be walking on the sidewalk with Santino.*

Santino: So, you're ready for the new tournament-

Uriel: HEY GUYS!!!

Santino: *sigh* Hello, Uriel.

Bax: Jeez man, you don't gotta make a whole scene about it...

*They'd all come over to Uriel.*

Uriel: So you guys seen Aria lately?

Everyone: No.

Bax: Not lately...

Uriel: Strange...

*Meanwhile, at Aria's house again...*

Aria: Nora? You've been in there for a while...

Nora: GO AWAY!!!

Aria: *gasps* O-ok... *She'd say as she'd walk away.*

*Aria would get a message from Shinito, saying "You coming to the Bey Park?".

Aria: Oh no, I gotta tell them the news!! *She'd say as she'd run off to the Bey Park.*

*Aria would arrive at the Bey Park.*

Uriel: I totally won that!

Shinito: No chance, I won that!

Santino: You guys are over exaggerating, because I definitely won that!

Bax: Ugh, you guys have been at this for almost an hour...

Aria: Hey guys!

Everyone (Except Bax): Hey!

Aria: I got some bad news... it's about Nora.

Uriel: Yeah? What is it?

Shinito: Spill the beans, we gotta hear it!

Aria: So you know how she lost to Bax, right?

Bax: In an almost humiliating way, yes.

Aria: HEY! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SIS LIKE THAT!!

Bax: ...just tell us the news...

Aria: So now she's creating a new beyblade and she's seeking revenge!

Uriel: Uh oh!

Shinito: Sounds bad!

Santino: Yeah.

Bax: Crazy.

Aria: I know right? She's acting a whole lot more... aggressive.

Uriel: Well, she'll be fine, right?

Aria: I hope so...

*Meanwhile, at Aria's house.*

Nora: IT'S FINALLY DONE!!! *She'd say as she'd hold her bey up in the air.* Time to take vengance, Retailiate Nemesis!!

Nora: What should we do first... Aha! *She'd say as she'd snap her fingers.*

*Nora would head over to... Bax's Hideout?! Morgon and the rest of the team members would be training.*

Morgon: Go! Take 'em out! (Morgon's Beyblade would be a purple and dark blue version of Glide Satan Bearing 2S)

*Morgon's Beyblade would burst the opposing beyblade.*

*Nora would appear at the enterance.*

Nora: Hello there, I see that you all are training! Could you, perhaps, join me in my rebel against Bax?

Morgon: No way! What makes you think we would join you?

Random Gang Member A: Yeah! We aren't joining!

Nora: How about this. If you join me, then after we throw down Bax, we'll have all of the glory we can get!

Morgon: Hmmm... you guys in on joinin' this club?

Random Gang Member B: Yeah! If we can have glory, I'm in!

Everyone: We're in!!

Morgon: Alright, alright. We'll join your club.

Nora: Nice. Now all we have to do is defeat Bax!

Everyone: Yeah!

*Back at the Bey Park.*

Uriel: You guys ready for another round?

Aria: Yeah!

Santino: Sure.

Bax: I guess.

Uriel: Ok!

Shinito: First battle! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One! Let it...

*Nora would come running up to the stadium.*

Nora: RIP!!!!

Aria: NORA?! What are you doing here?

Nora: You'll see. Nemesis, go!

Uriel: Hey! You can't just interupt a battle like that!

Shinito: What?!

Bax: Go Basilisk!

Santino: SALAMANDER!!

*Everyone would clash at Nemesis, and then everyone's bey's would get sent flying out of the stadium.*

Bax: MORGON?! You're in with this clown?!

Morgon: Sorry boss, but we're gettin' glory!

Nora: Bax, I challenge you to a battle! I'll exact my revenge here and now!

Bax: So be it! You choose the hard way!

*They'd line up at the stadium, Shinito staying where he is.*

Shinito: Inspect your opponents beys!

Bax's Thoughts: Hmm, she really did evolve her bey. It looks like this can dish out a ton o' damage with it's two sets of movable blades. It's driver looks a coat sharp tip that can accelerate to pull off some serious attacks. It's ring looks like it can change modes as well?! We'll have to be careful.

Nora: And if you're wondering, yes, my bey can change modes, and it'll be the same beyblade that defeats you today!!

Morgon: Go Nora!

Gang Member R: Take him down!

Bax: Now you're rooting for her as well?! I'll make sure to defeat you again!

Uriel: Wow, things are getting intense fast! I can't believe Nora became this...

Aria: Bax better bring her back to her senses...

Santino: This is getting quite interesting...

*Bax would change to Shield mode, while Nora would switch to knockout mode.*

Shinito's Thoughts: Hm, Nemesis has the ability to change modes, like Salamander, Basilisk, and Ulysses. This should be fun to watch!

Shinito: First round! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One!

Bax and Nora: Let it... rip!

*Nora would pull off an immensely powerful Quantum Shoot.*\

Bax's Thoughts: She knows how to do a Quantum Shoot?

Bax: Basilisk, take the center!

Nora: Attack, Nemesis!

*Nemesis would attack Basilisk so hard, Basilisk would be sent straight toward the wall.*

Bax: WHAT!?!

Uriel: That attack was crazy hard!

Aria: I know right? She broke right through Basilisk's defenses with ease!

Bax: No matter! Basilisk, hit it with Under Counter!

Nora: Take it!

*Nemesis and Basilisk would be sent back.*

Morgon: Da boss is doing good!

Bax: Now Basilisk!! Take her down!!

*Basilisk's avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, erupting in dark blue and red flames.*

Bax: Dominate Sheild!!

Nora: Heh. Take it again, Nemesis!!

*Basilsik would launch Nemesis towards the wall. It wouldn't be with a scratch... but one of its blades on each side were perfectly symmectrical with the opposite blades...?*

Santino's Thoughts: She must have some gimmick where when she is impacted, two of the blades on each side switch to be symmetrical with her opposite blades. She set this all up!

Nora: Go Nemesis!!!

*Nemesis' avatar would flare up from her beyblade, engulfed in light purple flames.*

Nora: Retaliate Hammer!

*Nemesis would rush over to Basilisk and attack it with all of its might, then Basilsik would burst.*

Bax: *gasps* How?!

Nora: I've exacted my revenge!

Shinito: W-with a burst finish, Nora Soranora wins!

Uriel: Incredible...

Aria: Nora is so powerful!!

Nora: How about that?

Morgon: YEAH! The boss totally won that! I'm definitely in her crew now with that power on our side!

Gang Member A: Yeah! Go Boss!

Bax: Argh... *He'd say, stomping away.*

Santino: Welp, a loss is a loss in his book.

Uriel: Alright Nora, me next!!

Nora: I've already got want I wanted, so go away!

Aria: Uriel, how powerful she is right now, your gonna have to train to defeat her!

Uriel: Ugh... fine. *He'd say as Aria starting dragging him away.*

*Meanwhile, at Bax's hideout.*

Bax: I'll teach that brat to mess with me and my crew!! *He'd say while holding his beyblade tightly.*

*Meanwhile, Uriel and Shinito were watching videos on Bey Tube.*

Shinito: Uriel, do you think Nora gone a little crazy?

Uriel: Yeah, pretty much. We gotta defeat her and take her back to her senses-

*A notification would pop up on Shinito's tablet, with a link to a video.*

Shinito: Whats that? It looks like the new tournament!!

Uriel: AWESOME! Check it out, bro!

Shinito: Ok. *He said as he'd click on the link. Then, a video would pop up!*

Uriel: There it is!

Hanami (On Video): Hello you Bey Fans! This just in, we have a new tournament out, and it's called the Super Submarine Beyblade League! Come join tomorrow, where we have the Quantum Three participating!!

Uriel: Quantum Three-

*Uriel would have a memory.*

Mom: Your brother's been invited to the Quantum Three!

*The memory would end.*

Uriel: WOOO HOOO! I get to battle the Quantum Three!

Shinito: It'll be so sweet duking it out underwater!!

Hanami (On Video): Alright you Bey Fans! Be sure to join the Super Submarine Beyblade League Tomorrow! Hanami, out!!

Uriel: Alright Shinito, I'll be joining! See ya tomorrow!

Shinito: Alright, see ya!

*They'd walk to their respective homes.*

Uriel: Mom! I'm home!

Mom: Hey dear!

Uriel: Mom, guess what? I'll get a chance to battle my brother in a submarine tournament!!

Mom: That's awesome! We'll get packed tomorrow, ok?

Uriel: Alright, 'g night mom!

Mom: 'g night hun!

*Uriel would go to his room.*

Uriel: Don't worry Ulysses, we'll go super ultra matrix and defeat so many new bladers!

*Ulysses would shine.*

Episode 15 Preview!

Uriel: This is so amazing! I'm actually gonna be able to fight the Quantum Three!

Uriel: So we'll be doing battle royales first, huh?

Uriel: I'll totally go matrix and defeat everyone!

Next Episode on Beyblade Burst Matrix!

Enter The Super Submarine Cup!

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

LegendJustice · Jul. 06, 2021 10:48 PM

Dude this is great!

"From this moment on... You shall be know as Darth Vader" - Palpatine probably

GenesisBlader · Jul. 06, 2021 11:02 PM

(Jul. 06, 2021 10:48 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Dude this is great!

thanks!

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

GenesisBlader · Jul. 07, 2021 6:28 PM

Episode 15!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Episode 16 Preview!

Uriel: I'll be sure to win my match!

Uriel: Oh no, he can gain spin from his tip?!

Uriel: Awesome! A new blader will be joining us!!

Next Episode of Beyblade Burst Matrix:

Expurgation! Decimate Mortifyr!

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

LegendJustice · Jul. 07, 2021 6:39 PM

Why did you say Quantum Four and. You only introduced 3?

"From this moment on... You shall be know as Darth Vader" - Palpatine probably

GenesisBlader · Jul. 07, 2021 6:43 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:39 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Why did you say Quantum Four and. You only introduced 3?

lol because if i changed it to four than it would be uneven due to me wanting to introduce the main antagonist in this season lawl

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:43 PM)BladeKingX Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021 6:39 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Why did you say Quantum Four and. You only introduced 3?

lol because if i changed it to four than it would be uneven due to me wanting to introduce the main antagonist in this season lawl

Uriel + Aria + Nora + Bax + Santino + Juudai + Arenai + Zoro + Iru + (quantum 4 number 4) + main antagonist = 11

Uriel + Aria + Nora + Bax + Santino + Juudai + Arenai + Zoro + Iru + main antagonist = 10

if i had 10 then i would be able to divide it evenly by 2 but since the main antagonist isnt in yet it would be uneven because i would have to subtract 10 by 1 and that would be 9. and i can't divide 9 by 2 and get a whole number. so then i made Iru not want to battle and instead watch.

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

UnseenBurst · Jul. 07, 2021 6:48 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:28 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 15!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Enter The Super Submarine Cup!

*It was morning, and Uriel was packing his bags, with Shinito helping him.*

Uriel: Are we almost done?

Shinito: Looks like it!

Uriel: Whew. I can't wait for the Super Submarine League!

Shinito: Me neither. It's gonna be so awesome-

Mom: BOYS! Did you pack everything yet??

Uriel: *gulp* No...

Mom: Alright then, less chit-chat, more work.

Shinito: Yes mam...

*After they were done packing up, they would head inside the car to head over to the Submarine. His friends, Nora, and Juudai were already there.*

Mom: Alright Uriel, be safe! Don't forget to floss!

Uriel: Alright Mom! Bye!

*Uriel's Mom would drive off.*

Uriel: Hey guys!

Aria: Hey Uriel! What's up?

Santino: Hello you two.

Shinito: So... where's the submarine? I'm getting pretty tired of carrying this luggage!

Uriel: Me too! They'd better get here soon-

*The submarine would arrive from under the sea. It would be twice the size of the arena they did the Quantum Cup in!*

Shinito: WHOA!

Santino: I didn't think they meant THIS type of submarine!!

Aria: This is awesome!!

Bax and Nora: Whatever.

*Uriel and Juudai would lock eyes.*

Uriel and Juudai: Grrr!!!

Shinito: What's with them?

Aria: I dunno.

Hanami: *He would open the hatch.* Hello you bladers! Are you ready for the Super Submarine Cup!

Everyone (Except Nora): Yeah!!

Nora: I guess.

Hanami: Alright then! Hop on in, and I'll introduce you to the Quantum Three!!

Everyone: Ok!

*They'd enter the Submarine. It would have four sections to go to: The Battle Arena, The Training Room, the Dorms, and the Cafeteria!!

Hanami: Go make your selves comfortable in your dorms, and meet me at the Battle Arena!!

Shinito: Got it!

Uriel: No need to tell me twice!! *He'd say as he'd go running into the dorms area.*

*Everyone would get their own dorms, making that area one of the biggest areas in the Submarine! Uriel would go into his dorm.*

Uriel: WHOA! This is so awesome! *He'd say as he'd start jumping on his bed.*

Uriel: Well, I'd better get heading over to the arena! *He'd say as he'd drop his luggage on the ground and went heading over to the arena.*

*He, and the other contestants would arrive at the arena.*

Hanami: Alright you bladers! It's time that I introduce you to the bladers that can stand up to the legends, the QUANTUM FOUR!!

Uriel: YEAH!!

Hanami: This one in the orange and red, he's the 2nd best of the Quantum Four, he's Arenai Inuhara!

Arenai: I'll be defeating everyone on this submarine, but you can try to defeat me!

Uriel: No, I'll defeat everyone!

Arenai: Your just a kid, and I'm a member of the Quantum Four! You won't defeat me!

Uriel: I bet I will!

Uriel and Arenai: Grrr!!!

Aria: It's not even battle time, and he's already having a rivalry.

Shinito: That's Uriel for ya...

Hanami: This one in the blue and white, he's the 3rd best of the Quantum Four, Zoro Orinashi!

Zoro: Hmph. This better be worth it.

Hanami: And last but certainly not least, the one in the green and gold, he's the kingpin of the Quantum Four, the number 1, Iru Jahani!

Iru: Meh.

Hanami: Now that I've introduced you to everyone, lets begin! First, we will do battle royales! *He'd say as he'd pull up a screen featuring all of the competitors.* So, the people in the first rounds are... *He'd say as he'd press a button that randomizes and shuffles the bladers into 2 groups.*

Hanami: Since Iru is number one, he can choose whether or not he wants to battle!

Iru: Eh, I'll watch.

Hanami: Ok! So, the 1st group is... Bax, Arenai, Juudai, and Aria! The 2nd group is Uriel, Nora, Santino, and Zoro!

Juudai: Let's see if you can battle rather than talk.

Arenai: Oh, you'll see!

Bax: It's time I get revenge on you, Juudai!

Aria: I'll be the one winning!

*They'd all line up at the stadium.*

Arenai: You'll be battling up against Conquest Ares!

Aria and Bax's Thoughts: Hmm, Warlord Ares looks like a fierce attack type that has 3 huge blades that can deal alot of damage. It's performance tip looks like a metal flat tip that can accelerate to great speeds and pull of fierce attacks. Let's knock it down a peg!

*Bax would switch to Shield mode.*

Referee: First battle! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One! Let it... RIP!!

*Everyone would pull off Quantum Shoots.*

Bax: Go Basilisk! Take center stage!

Aria: Not before I can!

*Basilisk and Aurora would clash in the middle of the stadium. They would both be sent back.*

Juudai: Joker! Charge at Aurora with Arcane Shocker!

Bax: Basilisk, go for a Dominate Shield at Joker!

Hanami: And all three of them are locked in a fierce collision!

Arenai: Now Ares! Attack all three of them!

*Ares would attack all three of them so hard that they would all be flinged into the wall.*

Aria: AURORA!!! Go for a Shining Spiral!!

Juudai: Counter it with Merge Counter!

Hanami: And they both collide fiercely at the edge of the stadium!!

*Aurora and Joker would both be knocked out at the same time.*

Aria: Huh?

Juudai: *gasps*

Arenai: Looks like it's just me and you!

Bax: Charge at 'em, Basilisk! Under Counter!

*Ares would be sent at the wall.*

Arenai: Heheh. ARES!!

*Ares' avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, engulfed in a fiery red aura.*

Arenai: Go for a Conquest Axel!!

*Ares would gain a boost in power and attack Basilisk, Basilisk would burst almost instantaneously.*

Uriel: Such power! I can't wait to battle it!

Bax: What?!

Arenai: Heh!

Referee: With a burst finish, Arenai and Ares win!

Hanami: Did you see that amazing power, Bey Fans?!

Santino: That's amazing...

Nora: I'll be sure that I can win against him!!

(Back at the city, Valt, Free, and another legendary blader were watching from the TV)

Valt: Awesome! A new tournament, Uriel and a whole lot of other bladers are in! What do you think about it, Free?

Free: It's kinda cool, I guess. Iru did say he was going to get stronger and defeat me. He's grown a lot, to be honest.

???: Me and Mortifyr will be sure to crush them...

(Mortifyr would glow)

???: Hahaha!

*The mysterious blader would go over in the direction where the submarine was.*

*Meanwhile, a legendary blader would watch from a TV in a cold, isolated region.*

???: This'll be good prey for Longinus!!

Episode 16 Preview!

Uriel: I'll be sure to win my match!

Uriel: Oh no, he can gain spin from his tip?!

Uriel: Wait, Lui Shirosagi is on board?!

Next Episode of Beyblade Burst Matrix:

Brutality! Purge Longinus!!

Plot: 5/5 I loved how you added a new tournament and I love the new Quantum Four which is awesome and Ares seems like a super cool bey, I'm excited to see the new Longinus
Dialogue: 4/5 I love how everyone has something to say and everyone is enjoying the tournament. Though it felt a bit rushed, you could've focused a bit more on where they are and what the tournament is about.
Characterization: 5/5. Everyone got their own say and it felt like they were alive!!
Writing: 3/5. This kinda killed your rating, I have Grammarly and it's telling me that you have a lot of writing mistakes (No Offense) I suggest getting Grammarly it will really help your rating.
Battle: 5/5. The battle was super cool and I loved it, it really showed how strong Ares is.

Final Rating: 22/25. Really awesome chapter just work on your grammar and don't feel rushed.

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 07, 2021 6:53 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021  6:48 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021  6:28 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 15!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Enter The Super Submarine Cup!

*It was morning, and Uriel was packing his bags, with Shinito helping him.*

Uriel: Are we almost done?

Shinito: Looks like it!

Uriel: Whew. I can't wait for the Super Submarine League!

Shinito: Me neither. It's gonna be so awesome-

Mom: BOYS! Did you pack everything yet??

Uriel: *gulp* No...

Mom: Alright then, less chit-chat, more work.

Shinito: Yes mam...

*After they were done packing up, they would head inside the car to head over to the Submarine. His friends, Nora, and Juudai were already there.*

Mom: Alright Uriel, be safe! Don't forget to floss!

Uriel: Alright Mom! Bye!

*Uriel's Mom would drive off.*

Uriel: Hey guys!

Aria: Hey Uriel! What's up?

Santino: Hello you two.

Shinito: So... where's the submarine? I'm getting pretty tired of carrying this luggage!

Uriel: Me too! They'd better get here soon-

*The submarine would arrive from under the sea. It would be twice the size of the arena they did the Quantum Cup in!*

Shinito: WHOA!

Santino: I didn't think they meant THIS type of submarine!!

Aria: This is awesome!!

Bax and Nora: Whatever.

*Uriel and Juudai would lock eyes.*

Uriel and Juudai: Grrr!!!

Shinito: What's with them?

Aria: I dunno.

Hanami: *He would open the hatch.* Hello you bladers! Are you ready for the Super Submarine Cup!

Everyone (Except Nora): Yeah!!

Nora: I guess.

Hanami: Alright then! Hop on in, and I'll introduce you to the Quantum Three!!

Everyone: Ok!

*They'd enter the Submarine. It would have four sections to go to: The Battle Arena, The Training Room, the Dorms, and the Cafeteria!!

Hanami: Go make your selves comfortable in your dorms, and meet me at the Battle Arena!!

Shinito: Got it!

Uriel: No need to tell me twice!! *He'd say as he'd go running into the dorms area.*

*Everyone would get their own dorms, making that area one of the biggest areas in the Submarine! Uriel would go into his dorm.*

Uriel: WHOA! This is so awesome! *He'd say as he'd start jumping on his bed.*

Uriel: Well, I'd better get heading over to the arena! *He'd say as he'd drop his luggage on the ground and went heading over to the arena.*

*He, and the other contestants would arrive at the arena.*

Hanami: Alright you bladers! It's time that I introduce you to the bladers that can stand up to the legends, the QUANTUM FOUR!!

Uriel: YEAH!!

Hanami: This one in the orange and red, he's the 2nd best of the Quantum Four, he's Arenai Inuhara!

Arenai: I'll be defeating everyone on this submarine, but you can try to defeat me!

Uriel: No, I'll defeat everyone!

Arenai: Your just a kid, and I'm a member of the Quantum Four! You won't defeat me!

Uriel: I bet I will!

Uriel and Arenai: Grrr!!!

Aria: It's not even battle time, and he's already having a rivalry.

Shinito: That's Uriel for ya...

Hanami: This one in the blue and white, he's the 3rd best of the Quantum Four, Zoro Orinashi!

Zoro: Hmph. This better be worth it.

Hanami: And last but certainly not least, the one in the green and gold, he's the kingpin of the Quantum Four, the number 1, Iru Jahani!

Iru: Meh.

Hanami: Now that I've introduced you to everyone, lets begin! First, we will do battle royales! *He'd say as he'd pull up a screen featuring all of the competitors.* So, the people in the first rounds are... *He'd say as he'd press a button that randomizes and shuffles the bladers into 2 groups.*

Hanami: Since Iru is number one, he can choose whether or not he wants to battle!

Iru: Eh, I'll watch.

Hanami: Ok! So, the 1st group is... Bax, Arenai, Juudai, and Aria! The 2nd group is Uriel, Nora, Santino, and Zoro!

Juudai: Let's see if you can battle rather than talk.

Arenai: Oh, you'll see!

Bax: It's time I get revenge on you, Juudai!

Aria: I'll be the one winning!

*They'd all line up at the stadium.*

Arenai: You'll be battling up against Conquest Ares!

Aria and Bax's Thoughts: Hmm, Warlord Ares looks like a fierce attack type that has 3 huge blades that can deal alot of damage. It's performance tip looks like a metal flat tip that can accelerate to great speeds and pull of fierce attacks. Let's knock it down a peg!

*Bax would switch to Shield mode.*

Referee: First battle! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One! Let it... RIP!!

*Everyone would pull off Quantum Shoots.*

Bax: Go Basilisk! Take center stage!

Aria: Not before I can!

*Basilisk and Aurora would clash in the middle of the stadium. They would both be sent back.*

Juudai: Joker! Charge at Aurora with Arcane Shocker!

Bax: Basilisk, go for a Dominate Shield at Joker!

Hanami: And all three of them are locked in a fierce collision!

Arenai: Now Ares! Attack all three of them!

*Ares would attack all three of them so hard that they would all be flinged into the wall.*

Aria: AURORA!!! Go for a Shining Spiral!!

Juudai: Counter it with Merge Counter!

Hanami: And they both collide fiercely at the edge of the stadium!!

*Aurora and Joker would both be knocked out at the same time.*

Aria: Huh?

Juudai: *gasps*

Arenai: Looks like it's just me and you!

Bax: Charge at 'em, Basilisk! Under Counter!

*Ares would be sent at the wall.*

Arenai: Heheh. ARES!!

*Ares' avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, engulfed in a fiery red aura.*

Arenai: Go for a Conquest Axel!!

*Ares would gain a boost in power and attack Basilisk, Basilisk would burst almost instantaneously.*

Uriel: Such power! I can't wait to battle it!

Bax: What?!

Arenai: Heh!

Referee: With a burst finish, Arenai and Ares win!

Hanami: Did you see that amazing power, Bey Fans?!

Santino: That's amazing...

Nora: I'll be sure that I can win against him!!

(Back at the city, Valt, Free, and another legendary blader were watching from the TV)

Valt: Awesome! A new tournament, Uriel and a whole lot of other bladers are in! What do you think about it, Free?

Free: It's kinda cool, I guess. Iru did say he was going to get stronger and defeat me. He's grown a lot, to be honest.

???: Me and Mortifyr will be sure to crush them...

(Mortifyr would glow)

???: Hahaha!

*The mysterious blader would go over in the direction where the submarine was.*

*Meanwhile, a legendary blader would watch from a TV in a cold, isolated region.*

???: This'll be good prey for Longinus!!

Episode 16 Preview!

Uriel: I'll be sure to win my match!

Uriel: Oh no, he can gain spin from his tip?!

Uriel: Wait, Lui Shirosagi is on board?!

Next Episode of Beyblade Burst Matrix:

Brutality! Purge Longinus!!

Plot: 5/5 I loved how you added a new tournament and I love the new Quantum Four which is awesome and Ares seems like a super cool bey, I'm excited to see the new Longinus
Dialogue: 5/5 I love how everyone has something to say and everyone is enjoying the tournament.
Characterization: 5/5. Everyone got their own say and it felt like they were alive!!
Writing: 5/5.
Battle: 5/5. The battle was super cool and I loved it, it really showed how strong Ares is.

Final Rating: 25/25. Really awesome chapter

IT DIDNT FEEL RUSHED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Spoiler (Click to View)

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

UnseenBurst · Jul. 07, 2021 6:53 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021  6:53 PM)BladeKingX Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021  6:48 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Plot: 5/5 I loved how you added a new tournament and I love the new Quantum Four which is awesome and Ares seems like a super cool bey, I'm excited to see the new Longinus
Dialogue: 5/5 I love how everyone has something to say and everyone is enjoying the tournament.
Characterization: 5/5. Everyone got their own say and it felt like they were alive!!
Writing: 5/5.
Battle: 5/5. The battle was super cool and I loved it, it really showed how strong Ares is.

Final Rating: 25/25. Really awesome chapter

IT DIDNT FEEL RUSHED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE [spoiler]
jk ima (try) and get grammerly and it may have felt rushed that was because it was just supposed to move the arc somewhere else and introduce new people but it couldv'e been otherwise i'll try to make the story seem longer and more (not bad grammar)

Ok lol, I love how u keep changing ur pfp

The One Piece is the friends we made a long the way.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 07, 2021 6:54 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:53 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021 6:53 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: IT DIDNT FEEL RUSHED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Spoiler (Click to View)
jk ima (try) and get grammerly and it may have felt rushed that was because it was just supposed to move the arc somewhere else and introduce new people but it couldv'e been otherwise i'll try to make the story seem longer and more (not bad grammar)

Ok lol, I love how u keep changing ur pfp

lol for some reason i don't think the previous pfp is good enough

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz

LegendJustice · Jul. 07, 2021 7:10 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:54 PM)BladeKingX Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021 6:53 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Ok lol, I love how u keep changing ur pfp

lol for some reason i don't think the previous pfp is good enough

I understand you SO much

"From this moment on... You shall be know as Darth Vader" - Palpatine probably

PinkRose · Jul. 07, 2021 8:23 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 6:28 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 15!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Enter The Super Submarine Cup!

*It was morning, and Uriel was packing his bags, with Shinito helping him.*

Uriel: Are we almost done?

Shinito: Looks like it!

Uriel: Whew. I can't wait for the Super Submarine League!

Shinito: Me neither. It's gonna be so awesome-

Mom: BOYS! Did you pack everything yet??

Uriel: *gulp* No...

Mom: Alright then, less chit-chat, more work.

Shinito: Yes mam...

*After they were done packing up, they would head inside the car to head over to the Submarine. His friends, Nora, and Juudai were already there.*

Mom: Alright Uriel, be safe! Don't forget to floss!

Uriel: Alright Mom! Bye!

*Uriel's Mom would drive off.*

Uriel: Hey guys!

Aria: Hey Uriel! What's up?

Santino: Hello you two.

Shinito: So... where's the submarine? I'm getting pretty tired of carrying this luggage!

Uriel: Me too! They'd better get here soon-

*The submarine would arrive from under the sea. It would be twice the size of the arena they did the Quantum Cup in!*

Shinito: WHOA!

Santino: I didn't think they meant THIS type of submarine!!

Aria: This is awesome!!

Bax and Nora: Whatever.

*Uriel and Juudai would lock eyes.*

Uriel and Juudai: Grrr!!!

Shinito: What's with them?

Aria: I dunno.

Hanami: *He would open the hatch.* Hello you bladers! Are you ready for the Super Submarine Cup!

Everyone (Except Nora): Yeah!!

Nora: I guess.

Hanami: Alright then! Hop on in, and I'll introduce you to the Quantum Three!!

Everyone: Ok!

*They'd enter the Submarine. It would have four sections to go to: The Battle Arena, The Training Room, the Dorms, and the Cafeteria!!

Hanami: Go make your selves comfortable in your dorms, and meet me at the Battle Arena!!

Shinito: Got it!

Uriel: No need to tell me twice!! *He'd say as he'd go running into the dorms area.*

*Everyone would get their own dorms, making that area one of the biggest areas in the Submarine! Uriel would go into his dorm.*

Uriel: WHOA! This is so awesome! *He'd say as he'd start jumping on his bed.*

Uriel: Well, I'd better get heading over to the arena! *He'd say as he'd drop his luggage on the ground and went heading over to the arena.*

*He, and the other contestants would arrive at the arena.*

Hanami: Alright you bladers! It's time that I introduce you to the bladers that can stand up to the legends, the QUANTUM FOUR!!

Uriel: YEAH!!

Hanami: This one in the orange and red, he's the 2nd best of the Quantum Four, he's Arenai Inuhara!

Arenai: I'll be defeating everyone on this submarine, but you can try to defeat me!

Uriel: No, I'll defeat everyone!

Arenai: Your just a kid, and I'm a member of the Quantum Four! You won't defeat me!

Uriel: I bet I will!

Uriel and Arenai: Grrr!!!

Aria: It's not even battle time, and he's already having a rivalry.

Shinito: That's Uriel for ya...

Hanami: This one in the blue and white, he's the 3rd best of the Quantum Four, Zoro Orinashi!

Zoro: Hmph. This better be worth it.

Hanami: And last but certainly not least, the one in the green and gold, he's the kingpin of the Quantum Four, the number 1, Iru Jahani!

Iru: Meh.

Hanami: Now that I've introduced you to everyone, lets begin! First, we will do battle royales! *He'd say as he'd pull up a screen featuring all of the competitors.* So, the people in the first rounds are... *He'd say as he'd press a button that randomizes and shuffles the bladers into 2 groups.*

Hanami: Since Iru is number one, he can choose whether or not he wants to battle!

Iru: Eh, I'll watch.

Hanami: Ok! So, the 1st group is... Bax, Arenai, Juudai, and Aria! The 2nd group is Uriel, Nora, Santino, and Zoro!

Juudai: Let's see if you can battle rather than talk.

Arenai: Oh, you'll see!

Bax: It's time I get revenge on you, Juudai!

Aria: I'll be the one winning!

*They'd all line up at the stadium.*

Arenai: You'll be battling up against Conquest Ares!

Aria and Bax's Thoughts: Hmm, Warlord Ares looks like a fierce attack type that has 3 huge blades that can deal alot of damage. It's performance tip looks like a metal flat tip that can accelerate to great speeds and pull of fierce attacks. Let's knock it down a peg!

*Bax would switch to Shield mode.*

Referee: First battle! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One! Let it... RIP!!

*Everyone would pull off Quantum Shoots.*

Bax: Go Basilisk! Take center stage!

Aria: Not before I can!

*Basilisk and Aurora would clash in the middle of the stadium. They would both be sent back.*

Juudai: Joker! Charge at Aurora with Arcane Shocker!

Bax: Basilisk, go for a Dominate Shield at Joker!

Hanami: And all three of them are locked in a fierce collision!

Arenai: Now Ares! Attack all three of them!

*Ares would attack all three of them so hard that they would all be flinged into the wall.*

Aria: AURORA!!! Go for a Shining Spiral!!

Juudai: Counter it with Merge Counter!

Hanami: And they both collide fiercely at the edge of the stadium!!

*Aurora and Joker would both be knocked out at the same time.*

Aria: Huh?

Juudai: *gasps*

Arenai: Looks like it's just me and you!

Bax: Charge at 'em, Basilisk! Under Counter!

*Ares would be sent at the wall.*

Arenai: Heheh. ARES!!

*Ares' avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, engulfed in a fiery red aura.*

Arenai: Go for a Conquest Axel!!

*Ares would gain a boost in power and attack Basilisk, Basilisk would burst almost instantaneously.*

Uriel: Such power! I can't wait to battle it!

Bax: What?!

Arenai: Heh!

Referee: With a burst finish, Arenai and Ares win!

Hanami: Did you see that amazing power, Bey Fans?!

Santino: That's amazing...

Nora: I'll be sure that I can win against him!!

(Back at the city, Valt, Free, and another legendary blader were watching from the TV)

Valt: Awesome! A new tournament, Uriel and a whole lot of other bladers are in! What do you think about it, Free?

Free: It's kinda cool, I guess. Iru did say he was going to get stronger and defeat me. He's grown a lot, to be honest.

???: Me and Mortifyr will be sure to crush them...

(Mortifyr would glow)

???: Hahaha!

*The mysterious blader would go over in the direction where the submarine was.*

*Meanwhile, a legendary blader would watch from a TV in a cold, isolated region.*

???: This'll be good prey for Longinus!!

Episode 16 Preview!

Uriel: I'll be sure to win my match!

Uriel: Oh no, he can gain spin from his tip?!

Uriel: Wait, Lui Shirosagi is on board?!

Next Episode of Beyblade Burst Matrix:

Expurgation! Purge Longinus!!

Okay, a lot of things happened here...

Plot: 4/5. Errr...I’m confused. You keep alternating between there being 3 and 4 Quantums, and there’s no mention of Uriel’s brother whatsoever, which leads me to beleive there’s 4 but he hasn’t been introduced yet, similar to Hearts’ situation.
Dialogue: 5/5. It’s cool, can’t see anything wrong really.
Characterization: 4/5. So really, what was the thing with Uriel and Juudai at the start? Kinda seemed out of character and sudden.
Writing: 3.5/5. Ehe, yeah, this one fell short. There’s a lot of confusion between words and names throughout the chapter (so is it Conquest or Warlord Ares?) and seems kinda messy overall.
Battle: 4.5/5. It’s fine, tho I feel like it ended a bit too fast, even if it’s just supposed to show off Arenai’s power.

Final Rating: 21/25. Yeeeeaaaaah, not your best chapter, but I’m sure you can do better in the future.

I'll definitely put something here soon.
Probably.
Maybe?
Naaaaah.

GenesisBlader · Jul. 07, 2021 8:25 PM

(Jul. 07, 2021 8:23 PM)PinkRose Wrote:
(Jul. 07, 2021 6:28 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: Episode 15!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Enter The Super Submarine Cup!

*It was morning, and Uriel was packing his bags, with Shinito helping him.*

Uriel: Are we almost done?

Shinito: Looks like it!

Uriel: Whew. I can't wait for the Super Submarine League!

Shinito: Me neither. It's gonna be so awesome-

Mom: BOYS! Did you pack everything yet??

Uriel: *gulp* No...

Mom: Alright then, less chit-chat, more work.

Shinito: Yes mam...

*After they were done packing up, they would head inside the car to head over to the Submarine. His friends, Nora, and Juudai were already there.*

Mom: Alright Uriel, be safe! Don't forget to floss!

Uriel: Alright Mom! Bye!

*Uriel's Mom would drive off.*

Uriel: Hey guys!

Aria: Hey Uriel! What's up?

Santino: Hello you two.

Shinito: So... where's the submarine? I'm getting pretty tired of carrying this luggage!

Uriel: Me too! They'd better get here soon-

*The submarine would arrive from under the sea. It would be twice the size of the arena they did the Quantum Cup in!*

Shinito: WHOA!

Santino: I didn't think they meant THIS type of submarine!!

Aria: This is awesome!!

Bax and Nora: Whatever.

*Uriel and Juudai would lock eyes.*

Uriel and Juudai: Grrr!!!

Shinito: What's with them?

Aria: I dunno.

Hanami: *He would open the hatch.* Hello you bladers! Are you ready for the Super Submarine Cup!

Everyone (Except Nora): Yeah!!

Nora: I guess.

Hanami: Alright then! Hop on in, and I'll introduce you to the Quantum Three!!

Everyone: Ok!

*They'd enter the Submarine. It would have four sections to go to: The Battle Arena, The Training Room, the Dorms, and the Cafeteria!!

Hanami: Go make your selves comfortable in your dorms, and meet me at the Battle Arena!!

Shinito: Got it!

Uriel: No need to tell me twice!! *He'd say as he'd go running into the dorms area.*

*Everyone would get their own dorms, making that area one of the biggest areas in the Submarine! Uriel would go into his dorm.*

Uriel: WHOA! This is so awesome! *He'd say as he'd start jumping on his bed.*

Uriel: Well, I'd better get heading over to the arena! *He'd say as he'd drop his luggage on the ground and went heading over to the arena.*

*He, and the other contestants would arrive at the arena.*

Hanami: Alright you bladers! It's time that I introduce you to the bladers that can stand up to the legends, the QUANTUM FOUR!!

Uriel: YEAH!!

Hanami: This one in the orange and red, he's the 2nd best of the Quantum Four, he's Arenai Inuhara!

Arenai: I'll be defeating everyone on this submarine, but you can try to defeat me!

Uriel: No, I'll defeat everyone!

Arenai: Your just a kid, and I'm a member of the Quantum Four! You won't defeat me!

Uriel: I bet I will!

Uriel and Arenai: Grrr!!!

Aria: It's not even battle time, and he's already having a rivalry.

Shinito: That's Uriel for ya...

Hanami: This one in the blue and white, he's the 3rd best of the Quantum Four, Zoro Orinashi!

Zoro: Hmph. This better be worth it.

Hanami: And last but certainly not least, the one in the green and gold, he's the kingpin of the Quantum Four, the number 1, Iru Jahani!

Iru: Meh.

Hanami: Now that I've introduced you to everyone, lets begin! First, we will do battle royales! *He'd say as he'd pull up a screen featuring all of the competitors.* So, the people in the first rounds are... *He'd say as he'd press a button that randomizes and shuffles the bladers into 2 groups.*

Hanami: Since Iru is number one, he can choose whether or not he wants to battle!

Iru: Eh, I'll watch.

Hanami: Ok! So, the 1st group is... Bax, Arenai, Juudai, and Aria! The 2nd group is Uriel, Nora, Santino, and Zoro!

Juudai: Let's see if you can battle rather than talk.

Arenai: Oh, you'll see!

Bax: It's time I get revenge on you, Juudai!

Aria: I'll be the one winning!

*They'd all line up at the stadium.*

Arenai: You'll be battling up against Conquest Ares!

Aria and Bax's Thoughts: Hmm, Warlord Ares looks like a fierce attack type that has 3 huge blades that can deal alot of damage. It's performance tip looks like a metal flat tip that can accelerate to great speeds and pull of fierce attacks. Let's knock it down a peg!

*Bax would switch to Shield mode.*

Referee: First battle! Ready, and set!

Everyone: Three! Two! One! Let it... RIP!!

*Everyone would pull off Quantum Shoots.*

Bax: Go Basilisk! Take center stage!

Aria: Not before I can!

*Basilisk and Aurora would clash in the middle of the stadium. They would both be sent back.*

Juudai: Joker! Charge at Aurora with Arcane Shocker!

Bax: Basilisk, go for a Dominate Shield at Joker!

Hanami: And all three of them are locked in a fierce collision!

Arenai: Now Ares! Attack all three of them!

*Ares would attack all three of them so hard that they would all be flinged into the wall.*

Aria: AURORA!!! Go for a Shining Spiral!!

Juudai: Counter it with Merge Counter!

Hanami: And they both collide fiercely at the edge of the stadium!!

*Aurora and Joker would both be knocked out at the same time.*

Aria: Huh?

Juudai: *gasps*

Arenai: Looks like it's just me and you!

Bax: Charge at 'em, Basilisk! Under Counter!

*Ares would be sent at the wall.*

Arenai: Heheh. ARES!!

*Ares' avatar would blaze from it's beyblade, engulfed in a fiery red aura.*

Arenai: Go for a Conquest Axel!!

*Ares would gain a boost in power and attack Basilisk, Basilisk would burst almost instantaneously.*

Uriel: Such power! I can't wait to battle it!

Bax: What?!

Arenai: Heh!

Referee: With a burst finish, Arenai and Ares win!

Hanami: Did you see that amazing power, Bey Fans?!

Santino: That's amazing...

Nora: I'll be sure that I can win against him!!

(Back at the city, Valt, Free, and another legendary blader were watching from the TV)

Valt: Awesome! A new tournament, Uriel and a whole lot of other bladers are in! What do you think about it, Free?

Free: It's kinda cool, I guess. Iru did say he was going to get stronger and defeat me. He's grown a lot, to be honest.

???: Me and Mortifyr will be sure to crush them...

(Mortifyr would glow)

???: Hahaha!

*The mysterious blader would go over in the direction where the submarine was.*

*Meanwhile, a legendary blader would watch from a TV in a cold, isolated region.*

???: This'll be good prey for Longinus!!

Episode 16 Preview!

Uriel: I'll be sure to win my match!

Uriel: Oh no, he can gain spin from his tip?!

Uriel: Wait, Lui Shirosagi is on board?!

Next Episode of Beyblade Burst Matrix:

Expurgation! Purge Longinus!!

"If you fail to prepare, your prepared to fail." - Mark Spitz