DeltaZakuro 6Jupiter5 TakaraTheLord NamanSpryzen  kai editsThis is meh new fanfic bois

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rip spelling

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AHHHHHH it wont work

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i might just be dumb

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yeah i was dumb for sure

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Spoiler (click to view)

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consequences

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DeltaZakuro 6Jupiter5 TakaraTheLord NamanSpryzen  kai editsThis is meh new fanfic bois

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rip spelling

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AHHHHHH it wont work

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i might just be dumb

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yeah i was dumb for sure

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Spoiler (click to view)

Cool fanfic.

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Creator/owner of beyblade burst apocalypse.
Maiden will awaken and destroy genesis once more!
i have returned

DeltaZakuro 6Jupiter5 TakaraTheLord NamanSpryzen  kai editsThis is meh new fanfic bois

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rip spelling

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AHHHHHH it wont work

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i might just be dumb

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yeah i was dumb for sure

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Spoiler (click to view)

Cool fanfic.

it cant really be cool if there are no episodes yet

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AIGHT GS FIRST CHAPTER

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Spoiler (Click to View)

Kai: Snoring

Maya kimidori: Wake up bro!

Kai: tacoooosssssss

Vixen who is mom btw: wake up i made pancakes.

Kai: WHAT PANCAKES AWESOME!

Maya: you have to eat break fast and then start your training with Bro Right?

Kai: yeah quon's new blitz quetzalqoatl will be a tough opponent, have you finished Making Sheath Ronin?

maya: yeah ill be one of the only bladers to not have their bey start with the firs tletter of their name!

Kai: oh carp i gotta go cya!

Senior hanami on Buidings And tv: ITS QUON KIMIDORI VS VALT AOI WHO Will WINNN

this is the first chapter but only part one

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Spoiler (Click to View)

kai: HUh i thought we were going to train i guess not as the euopean champ i better get my act together.

myserious blader: hey You!

kai: who are you?

Mysterious blader: my name is kyoka, kyoka shirogane. my bey is Tornado Kimera, i heard youe were the euorpean champion.

Kai: You're wasting my time get outta my way.

Kyoka: battle me NOW!

Kai: Be careful whatcha wish for i"ll destroy you with my bey Phantom Solomon, my gamma bey, huh wheres the layer weight?

kyoka: aha what a waste you are you don,t even have all your parts.

Kai; Ah there it is im ready.

kyoka: miterai! be the ref.

Miterai ok Bladers R-Ready 3 2 1 GOO SHOOT!

Kai: solomon abyssal break!

Kyoka: one hit and this'll be over GO KIMERA DETROY IT!!

The hit blows kai away injuring him while solomon shatters to peices

thats the second part of the first chapter the chapters after this will be one long part ARIGOTO GOZAIMASU for reading lol DeltaZakuro

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title of first chapter The awakening! Tornado Kimera!

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consequences

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so far, this story is off to great start. cant wait for more.

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PFP: Baby picture of me and one of my irl friends / ANY PRONOUNS

so far, this story is off to great start. cant wait for more.

thanks so im not gonna spoil it but is evo is brave solomon i made like a backstory soo lets just cal this the bonus chapter valt helped make solomon and thought hmmmmm and made the brave ring the combo is brave solomon 1d Blitz Power 2

Hello!! Im here since you asked for some opinions. I wont be too harsh so I hope you dont mind this — as with opinions from people, you are not obligated to treat this seriously because it your writing is up to you


I think its good so far! You definitely did well with displaying the characters and their personalities. Though, what stands out to me is how stiff the fanfic seems to be — theres almost no punctuation, which makes me read all of this in a quick way rather than dramatize how characters might sound. Adding commas and punctuation can add that affect. As well as that, script-style also has action here and there! For example, you can turn something like “Kai: tacoooosssssss” into “Kai (rolling slowly and muttering in his sleep): tacoooosssssss.” It gives people an idea of what they are doing in the scene, because without elaboration, I imagine theyre inanimate and not moving. I see your story has potential, though! Good job

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Call me either Sands/Suns! That one female Beyblade fan

Pfp: Cedric from Arcaea by Nataslyn on Discord

[Status: Lurking]

Hello!! Im here since you asked for some opinions. I wont be too harsh so I hope you dont mind this — as with opinions from people, you are not obligated to treat this seriously because it your writing is up to you


I think its good so far! You definitely did well with displaying the characters and their personalities. Though, what stands out to me is how stiff the fanfic seems to be — theres almost no punctuation, which makes me read all of this in a quick way rather than dramatize how characters might sound. Adding commas and punctuation can add that affect. As well as that, script-style also has action here and there! For example, you can turn something like “Kai: tacoooosssssss” into “Kai (rolling slowly and muttering in his sleep): tacoooosssssss.” It gives people an idea of what they are doing in the scene, because without elaboration, I imagine theyre inanimate and not moving. I see your story has potential, though! Good job

ok ill try to elaborate more in my next chapter im making two chapters a day

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The golden Bey, Brave Σolomon!

Spoiler (Click to View)

Kai: stuttering with shocked expression S-s-s SOLOMOOON no don't leave me *sobs*

Kyoka: HAHAHAH if this were an official battle your title would be mine *smirks and Walks Off*

2 hours later

Maya: *Running fast pace* Hey Big Bro!!! lets test my new bey!


kai: (with dark expression imagine anime edgy boi with their hair making shadow over their eyes lol) No I can't


Maya: What why?


Kai: i have to go find valt.


Maya (concerned look) why do you need to leave big bro?


Kai: it doesnt matter.

opens door and goes through then slams door

Maya: whats up with him? might have to spy on em.

Kai  meets up with valt and make brave Σolomon and brave valtryek

Valt: hey are you coming to the pre-legend festival  tournament?

Kai: Sure!

2 day later the first battle of the tournament

Senior Hanami: OKAAAAAYYYY BOYS AND GIRLS TIME FOR THE FIRST BATTLE Who will win? the rookie blader and his so called Flare or The euro champ

Blader with purple hair my bey will defeat you and i will arise AND DEFEAT KURENAI SHU!

DeltaZakuro @Xsabxmaniacx kai edits guess who the blader is

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consequences

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It is good the chapter.
But I want to know one thing: What system is this?

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It is good the chapter.
But I want to know one thing: What system is this?

super king but its like right before superkig

It is good the chapter.
But I want to know one thing: What system is this?

super king but its like right before superkig

oh ok.
also are you taking bey request or no

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super king but its like right before superkig

oh ok.
also are you taking bey request or no

ummmmmmmm yeah but when would you like to appear?

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btw hikaru and hyuga arent here bc they made their beys during superking in season two which is super king but i add more characters

oh ok.
also are you taking bey request or no

ummmmmmmm yeah but when would you like to appear?

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btw hikaru and hyuga arent here bc they made their beys during superking in season two which is super king but i add more characters

1.Whatever chapter you want to put it in.
2. Ok
3. I suggest you change the combo for Brave Solomon
4. The bey name is: Dark Salamander Operate´ 1B

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ummmmmmmm yeah but when would you like to appear?

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btw hikaru and hyuga arent here bc they made their beys during superking in season two which is super king but i add more characters

1.Whatever chapter you want to put it in.
2. Ok
3. I suggest you change the combo for Brave Solomon
4. The bey name is: Dark Salamander Operate´ 1B

oh i thought you meant your own bey i already made plans for souh

Hey, it looks better now! I can see what the characters are clearly doing rather than just talking. Youre improving

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Call me either Sands/Suns! That one female Beyblade fan

Pfp: Cedric from Arcaea by Nataslyn on Discord

[Status: Lurking]

and i really like that combo tho on solomon

and i really like that combo tho on solomon

Blitz Power?
I guess it aint bad but its just maybe add a dash driver to the Power driver

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and i really like that combo tho on solomon

Blitz Power?
I guess it aint bad but its just maybe add a dash driver to the Power driver

its a mod where they put this rubber thing on power and call it power 2 its like unite exept flat

Blitz Power?
I guess it aint bad but its just maybe add a dash driver to the Power driver

its a mod where they put this rubber thing on power and call it power 2 its like unite exept flat

oh cool

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Hey, it looks better now! I can see what the characters are clearly doing rather than just talking. Youre improving

guess the mysterious blader

Hey, it looks better now! I can see what the characters are clearly doing rather than just talking. Youre improving

guess the mysterious blader

Harry

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guess the mysterious blader

Harry

breh no

My guess is Rantaro

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My guess is Rantaro

bruh i gave a hint in the chapter

beykid44 I like it! The mystery blader is Valt Aoi! Also can you add me with Tornado Zillon?

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Let it RIP! (Former) Leader of the SpryzenLightnings! A short story below!
“Sup Darkstalker”, said Peril.
“Sup”, replied Darkstalker. 
Darkstalker thought, Enchant Peril to obey me in 10 seconds. (If you didn’t know, Darkstalker was a animus dragon.) In ten seconds, Darkstalker whispered to Peril, “Go. Go kill everybody using the coronavirus. GO NOW!” She spread the virus all through Jade Mountain! Everyone was infected, but the Beyblade Warriors came! They gave antidotes! You can be a Beyblade Warrior by wearing masks, washing hands, and most, maintain social distance! Stop the spread of the virus, and let’s get rid of it!

beykid44 I like it! The mystery blader is Valt Aoi! Also can you add me with Tornado Zillon?

hmmmm i gave hints in my secod chapter maybe i ned more details like its combo and moves