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Beyblade Fan Series:Beyblade Waking Trigger! ベイブレードワールドトリガー！ (accepting characters!)

Nov. 28, 2014  9:11 PM
 
Episode 1-Dark and Bright
Spoiler (Click to View)
Episode 2-The storm arises
Spoiler (Click to View)
Episode 3-Trial by wind
Spoiler (Click to View)
Episode 4-Arrival and Test of the Goddess's
Spoiler (Click to View)
Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 PM
 
It's kinda short, needs commas spaced but the story is alright.
Nov. 28, 2014  9:16 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: It's kinda short, needs commas spaced but the story is alright.
Thanks,The rest of the series will be differently written
Nov. 28, 2014  9:20 PM
 
Is this a plastic gen fan series?
Nov. 28, 2014  9:21 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:20 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: Is this a plastic gen fan series?
No,Its actually in a completely different timeline after Zero-G
Nov. 28, 2014  9:24 PM
 
Kinda like how mine and HolyPhoenix5 made new systems which was after Zero G?
Nov. 28, 2014  9:26 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:24 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: Kinda like how mine and HolyPhoenix5 made new systems which was after Zero G?
Sorta,Except its combining Plastics,4D and Zero G!
Nov. 28, 2014  9:34 PM
 
Sounds good, I may make a character.

That is if you accept one of the main characters?

Could you possibly draw the beyblade layout so I know what it looks like?
Nov. 28, 2014  9:40 PM
 
Criticism: Miss use of capital letters, needs spacing, some grammatical errors and a few more things.

I'd like if the chapters could be longer. Good story, though! Just fix a few things and it'll be good. Smile
Nov. 28, 2014  9:41 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:34 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: Sounds good, I may make a character.

That is if you accept one of the main characters?

Could you possibly draw the beyblade layout so I know what it looks like?
Of course! What character would you like?
Nov. 28, 2014  9:43 PM
 
somehow, the first episode looks similar to mine.
Nov. 28, 2014  9:45 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:41 PM)Spectral Wrote:
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:34 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: Sounds good, I may make a character.

That is if you accept one of the main characters?

Could you possibly draw the beyblade layout so I know what it looks like?
Of course! What character would you like?

I'll plan one later, once again I may use a fire/volcano element OR earth element, he is a kind Beyblader who tries to keep his emotions stable, in battle he is more aggressive depending on situation, and owns a balance type.
Nov. 28, 2014  9:45 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:43 PM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: somehow, the first episode looks similar to mine.
How? Please explain

And the series will be written differently then the first chapter
Nov. 28, 2014  9:50 PM
 
im not sure, there's just something about the character that's kinda like saberu where he doesn't care for Beyblades at first in a similar way.
Nov. 28, 2014  9:53 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  9:50 PM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: im not sure, there's just something about the character that's kinda like saberu where he doesn't care for Beyblades at first in a similar way.
Well actually,Beyblade was just introduced to him,so he doesn't really know about them Wink
Nov. 28, 2014  10:00 PM
 
neither did mine. at least it's not like Ginga where he's good from the start, that was stupid but this is good.
Nov. 28, 2014  10:14 PM
 
(Nov. 28, 2014  10:00 PM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: neither did mine. at least it's not like Ginga where he's good from the start, that was stupid but this is good.
Haha,thanks!

You want a character?
Nov. 28, 2014  10:24 PM
 
im good, maybe i will but not now.
Nov. 30, 2014  10:30 PM
 
Just made episode 2!
Nov. 30, 2014  10:32 PM
 
err isn't the structure almost exactly like jinbees?
Nov. 30, 2014  10:34 PM
 
Your right HolyPhoenix5, the layout does look familiar...it looks like Jinbee's. Other than that, the story is cute. I like it.
Nov. 30, 2014  10:34 PM
 
(Nov. 30, 2014  10:32 PM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: err isn't the structure almost exactly like jinbees?
Actually,Alot of people use that format of typing

About 98% on the other forums I'm on use that type of typing format

Now,do you have any advice or comments on the story?
Nov. 30, 2014  10:37 PM
 
most fan series i saw seem to do it differently, but oh well.

the usual, the grammar needs work, the story is pretty good though jinbees feels more complete. not bad though.
Nov. 30, 2014  10:39 PM
 
Aww how sweet, a potential love story, that's always a big plus for me, it's interesting and it's not the over cliche beyblade format. Good job!

Way better than that horrendous, and I mean horrendous cartoon Dogmons... Not sure why I brung it up but I loathe that show.
Nov. 30, 2014  10:43 PM
 
(Nov. 30, 2014  10:39 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: Aww how sweet, a potential love story, that's always a big plus for me, it's interesting and it's not the over cliche beyblade format. Good job!

Way better than that horrendous, and I mean horrendous cartoon Dogmons... Not sure why I brung it up but I loathe that show.
Thanks man,I tried to make less like MFB and more like a slice of life kinda story!

Feel free to make a Character!
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