[beyblade story]

really why do you think that
season 3 will be a movie type story
Season two ended too quick because season 1 was 8 or9 chaptrs
Just make the next seaso longer
Take it to PM's. You're spamming the thread.
should i make a different type of story like change the people but keep the beys
(Sep. 16, 2012  11:04 PM)Hale Tenebrae Wrote: This thread saddens me.

Alright.

First of all. You have too many dialouges. Shorten the amount.
Second. The dialouges are extremely short. Try to extend them.
Third. You don't describe your surroundings enough. Describe.
Fourth. Your grammar, it kills me. Read or at least eat a dictionary.
Fifth. Your characters are very underdeveloped. Please, give them at least a little background

And finally. Your chapters are too short and only contain what I stated above.

Either correct these problems, or quit writing.

I beg of you.

For the sake of humanity.


first of all do u have a teacher license dont think so, so be quiet i dont think this is grammar class Angry

(Dec. 05, 2012  2:45 AM)speedy23 Wrote:
(Sep. 16, 2012  11:04 PM)Hale Tenebrae Wrote: This thread saddens me.

Alright.

First of all. You have too many dialouges. Shorten the amount.
Second. The dialouges are extremely short. Try to extend them.
Third. You don't describe your surroundings enough. Describe.
Fourth. Your grammar, it kills me. Read or at least eat a dictionary.
Fifth. Your characters are very underdeveloped. Please, give them at least a little background

And finally. Your chapters are too short and only contain what I stated above.

Either correct these problems, or quit writing.

I beg of you.

For the sake of humanity.


first of all do u have a teacher license dont think so, so be quiet i dont think this is grammar class Angry

ohhh you just got schooled in the art of "smack talk"
He is right though...and only make constructive posts please.