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Chapter 1 (Click to View)

The desert moon rose. The squirrels started barking. The ocean started yawning.

Hah, see what I did there. Its called doing something while I sat out there, sweat dripping from my face, my face as red as a rose. It was like a million degrees out there!

I looked around, the grass as green as ever. My garden was quite small, not leaving any room for me to do anything. When we first got the house, I loved it, it had a fairly big garden. But then, I hated it. The garden was tiny because of the shed, that my mum said was needed, because she had already taken up every nook and cranny inside the house. All because of her collectible cat models. My mum was a nice person, she fed me, cared for me, bought me what I wanted. What else would you want from your mother? Well, I loved her all except for one thing. Her need to collect as many of one thing as she could. Once she sees something she likes, she has to buy about a hundred of them before she finds out that she was wasting her money on them. Last time it was KeyChain Erasers, then, it was her Cat Models.

The sun's rays burned me as I sat watching my next-door neighbor's dog run back and forth in the garden. The big oak tree in the middle of their garden would've be heaven for me, just if it had moved a couple of metres to the left. Then I could've lie underneath it, and I could have fully relaxed and of enjoyed being out there. I then ran to the front door and I shouted to my Mum.

"Mum! Please! I'm dying out here!" I tried banging on the window.

I knew she could hear me. She was just ignoring me so I'd stop trying to go in. She had locked the door earlier that day so I couldn't get in. I had been bugging her about letting me in for hours. She said I had to stay outside, and get some "Vitamin D", or as I used to call it, "Leave me alone so I can have some peace". I decided to sit in the middle of the garden and shade my eyes from the sun. Eventually, I somehow fell asleep, unaware of what was actually happening around me.

The sound of bangs woke me. My eyes fluttered open and I looked around. Large puffs of smoke shot into the air. The bangs started occurring again. That time they got closer and closer. Once they got within 20 yards of my house, I winced. Before I knew it, I was gone. I was engulfed in flames. My limbs burned. Oh, the pain I suffered. I collapsed onto the ground, smashing my head against one of the many stones and rocks that now lay scattered across my garden. It was over.

Chapter 2 (Click to View)

I awoke where I first fell, my head ringing and hurting as if still on fire. I looked up, hoping it was dream, but it was obvious I was wrong.

The skies darkened, houses destroyed, smoke everywhere and noises from the sky blasted thorugh the air.

I choked on a cluster of smoke, while attempting to get up. I screamed, but I then realized what I did then was about to change my life. A bright light from the clouds shines down on me, half blinding me.

A shout comes from where the light shone. It filled me with one feeling I tried to resist, worry.

"War has been declared."

If I finish this, I will probably look into publishing it.

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gfx by daD: sig & avatar

wow short chapter. i like how you described somethings and some you just through in without saying a word about like for instance the flames were the excruciatingly hot or what . i really hate how you just ended it n one chapter which looks like a paragraph and a half. but overall only a few punctuation and grammar errors

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Spoiler (Click to View)

It isn't finished. I'll hopefully do Chapter 2 tomorrow.

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gfx by daD: sig & avatar

Hey Aura, I like what you did with the title.
Anyway, there are a few grammatical errors, but I'm really excited for the rest of the chapters!

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Great Scott! Signature made by me finally!
"That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me... This One's A Fighter!" Gym Class Heroes Feat. Ryan Tedder, "The Fighter"

Call me Septy, if my name's too long; Read my stories: Shadows of The Condemned, The Lost Birthday and The Crimson Winter

Chapter 2 Added. Both are 1st edits. Both will be made 4x longer.

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gfx by daD: sig & avatar

...You put so much attention into detail it caught me...and yet halfway through I was completely lost.

I think you need to more clearly explain-without breaking the 4th wall-what is actually happening. Someone was opening his mouth, and then he's in a row of destroyed houses?...

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

its decent - good. Short but to the point. I like it. The barking squirrels bit kind of confuses me though...

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

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