World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
The Edge - Chapter 2 Up. Please tell me what you think! - Printable Version

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The Edge - Chapter 2 Up. Please tell me what you think! - Cygnus - Nov. 26, 2011

Please enjoy!

Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Chapter 2 (Click to View)

If I finish this, I will probably look into publishing it.


RE: The Rebirth - Non-BeyBlade Story - DeltaFate - Nov. 26, 2011

wow short chapter. i like how you described somethings and some you just through in without saying a word about like for instance the flames were the excruciatingly hot or what . i really hate how you just ended it n one chapter which looks like a paragraph and a half. but overall only a few punctuation and grammar errors


RE: The Rebirth - Non-BeyBlade Story - Cygnus - Nov. 26, 2011

It isn't finished. I'll hopefully do Chapter 2 tomorrow.


RE: The Rebirth - Non-BeyBlade Story - Septentrione - Nov. 27, 2011

Hey Aura, I like what you did with the title.
Anyway, there are a few grammatical errors, but I'm really excited for the rest of the chapters!


RE: The Rebirth - Non-BeyBlade Story - Cygnus - Jan. 21, 2012

Chapter 2 Added. Both are 1st edits. Both will be made 4x longer.


RE: The Edge - Chapter 2 Up. Please tell me what you think! - Sparta - Jan. 22, 2012

...You put so much attention into detail it caught me...and yet halfway through I was completely lost.

I think you need to more clearly explain-without breaking the 4th wall-what is actually happening. Someone was opening his mouth, and then he's in a row of destroyed houses?...


RE: The Edge - Chapter 2 Up. Please tell me what you think! - Minho - Jan. 24, 2012

its decent - good. Short but to the point. I like it. The barking squirrels bit kind of confuses me though...