The Battle Of The X-Force! (A Beyblade Story)

Poll: Is the story bad, decent good, or great?

Great
66.67%
36
Good
9.26%
5
Decent
7.41%
4
Bad
16.67%
9
Total: 100% 54 vote(s)
Well, On Mon-Fri, Around 5pm or before. On Sat and Sun, Around Noon
Okay, Brandon, lucky for you I was going to stop taking requests for a little while after the next person (You).
It's not permanent, it's just, I can't I've only started two characters already.
I will take ideas for beys for Jessica and Ino though. I'm too lazy to come up with my own. I want to make the Special Move if that's alright. Just send it by PM and I'll consider it.
(Nov. 22, 2010  9:04 PM)Kyuubi-Master Wrote: Well, On Mon-Fri, Around 5pm or before. On Sat and Sun, Around Noon
Okay, Brandon, lucky for you I was going to stop taking requests for a little while after the next person (You).
It's not permanent, it's just, I can't I've only started two characters already.
I will take ideas for beys for Jessica and Ino though. I'm too lazy to come up with my own. I want to make the Special Move if that's alright. Just send it by PM and I'll consider it.
uh sure im going to send you one as soon as im finished dinner XDand yeah you can make the special move
i like it i cant wait for the next chapter

if you want you could use my character from "Create your own Beyblade MFB character!" i have one on the first page and one on the 3rd page
choose which one you like
I might. Sorry about not posting yesterday. I was doing the one with Rantak.
forgot to send you the character stuff cause i had TONS of homework lol
please make the next part soon
Okay, I'm going to make this a story spectacular. I know I've made you wait a little too long, but watch some TV until Friday at 7PM EST for 5-7 chapters! I'll need some ideas in though so send send send!
I'm SO sorry I can't make the deadline! My mom made me clean the house, but I'm still going to post as much as possible today and tomorrow. Once again, I'm really sorry. I owe you all a lot of chapters. I'll make a pledge. If I cannot get to chapter 10 by the end of the weekend, I won't use any money on Beyblades for 365 days.
Chapter 6

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"GO SH-" We were interrupted by Kaila.

"Wait! Rez, your track is still broken!" Said Kaila.

"Oh ya! But now what do I do?" He asked.

"Pass me your Bey." She said.

"Okay." Said Rez.

"Here's a new track. ESB145!" She said with enthusiasm.

"Alright, let's go!" He said confidently.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"GO SHO-!" We were once again interrupted by Kaila.

"You can't battle in here! Go to the Beystadium in the backyard.

We all shrugged, and went in to the backyard and started.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"GO SHOOOT!" We yelled without interruption.

"Go Magma Scorpion, Attack!" Said Rez.

"Use Gravity Move 1!" Said Kuchi.

"Okay, go Drahelix! Gravity Orbit!" Said Arix.

All of a sudden, Jake's bey started to revolve around and was then sent flying into the air.

"Alright, Perseus, Gravity Control!" Said Jake.

Then, Perseus flew to the ground at sonic speed. When he hit the ground, All our bey's flew up into the air.

"Center yourself, Apollo!" Said Kuchi.

"You too, Drahelix!" Said Arix.

As soon as they finished saying that, all our beys plummeted to the ground. Blowfish, Scorpion and Saggitario all fell on their sides, losing about 1/8 of their stamina.

"Special move, Orbital Change." Said Kuchi.

After he said those words, our beys started to attack each other. I had to move us apart.

"Go Blowfish, Mini Waterwall Barrage!" I said as a small torrent of water seperated all of us.

"Okay let's see how they handle this!" Said Kuchi. I really didn't want to know what was about to happen.
sorry about this i know i said would not ask anymore questions but what does the e in esb145 stand for
(Nov. 28, 2010  9:42 PM)rockaries7000 Wrote: sorry about this i know i said would not ask anymore questions but what does the e in esb145 stand for

Eternal.
"Alright! Gravitational Assault" Said Kuchi.

"Go Drahelix! Gravity Orbit!" Said Arix

Then, it began again. Jake's bey began to revolve around Drahelix again (except this time, Perseus hit our beys while he revolved) and sent him flying into the air. We knew what was going to happen next, but we had no counter.

"Now, Gravity Control!" Said Jake.

Like before we were all sent into the air. I was the only one who could avoid this.

"Straighten yourself, Blowfish!" I yelled towards the sky.

"Won't do any good now. Finish it Apollo! Orbital Change!" Said Kuchi.

Our beys started to attack eachother. I thought about what I could do. I couldn't use the Watewall Barrage this time because it would cause my teammates to get a stadium out. I was trying to think up a plan when...

"Special Move! Deadly Harpoon!" Said Akashi.

My brother was smarter than I thought. He used his special move on Perseus. All our beys fell, causing Apollo to lose the effect of his special move. I wondered...

"Okay, attack Magma Scorpion! Magma Stinger on Apollo!" Said Rez.

Something weird happened. Instead of going after Apollo, Magma Scorpion went straight towards the center. Then the weirdest thing happened. Magma started to erupt from his track! It hit Apollo, Perseus and Drahelix, but suprisingly (and thankfully) went around Blowfish and Saggitario. It slowed them down by about 1/4 of their speed. I thought of the perfect plan to defeat them. I whispered it to Rez and Akashi.

"Ya! Let's do it! Jump Scorpion!" Said Rez, pumped.

"Alright! Into the air, Blowfish!"

"You too, Saggitario!"

"Okay, Special Move! Waterwall Barrage!" I said towards the sky.

Our beys were surrounded by swirling water.

"Now, Special Move! Magma Stinger!" Said Rez

The water turned red then became pure magma.

"Time to finish it! Special Move! Deadly Harpoon!" Said Akashi

The magma tornado soon began to mold into an arrow shape and fell towards the ground.

"Ultimate Special Move! Spiraling Magma Arrow!" We yelled in unison.

The attack was so fierce that, even though it missed all of the other beys, the explosion it caused sent them flying at the stadium walls, breaking them.

"Victory!" I yelled.

"That victory will cost you... 8233 Yen. You broke the stadium to pieces and even broke the walls off!" Said Kaila, cheesed.

"Awww man!" I said, depressed.

I turned towards the brothers, but they weren't there.

'I wonder where they went' I thought.
Who new character: Sual Long
Age:13
Bey: rock Ketos c145 rf
Normal rock wheel with blue ketos ring and face
And orange c145 blue and red rf
Chapter 8

My brother and I started walking home. When we got on our street, I noticed a bunch of police cruisers around my house. I froze. We had never called my parents to tell them where we were. They were probably worried sick. I ran. I didn't even turn around to check if my brother was still behind me. I got to the door and used my key. My parents turned towards me.

"Where have you been!?" Said my mother, tears rolling down her cheek

"Seriously, your mother has been worried sick." Said my dad, irritated.

"It's a long story." I said.

I explained to my mom the situation with people trying to take over the world and our anchestors.

"Oh. Well officers, this was all a big misunderstanding. Sorry for wasting your time." Said my mom worriedly.

Soon, the officers left and it was just me, Akashi, and my mom and dad.

"Howed you figure it out?" Said my mother, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.

"Well, we were told by our friend, Rez." said my brother.

I had completely forgotten about him. Where had he gone?

"Who?" Asked my father.

"We met him right after you left. He was part of The Organization, but he was also one us." I said, "He quit The Organization though."

"Okay, I guess the time has come." Said my mother, desolately.

"Time for what?" I asked.

"Time for you to earn your bit-beasts!" Said my father.

"Alright!" Said my brother, enthusiastically, "Except, what's a bit-beast?"

"It's a kind of spirit. We have both of yours, but you need to prove yourselves." Said my mom, fiercely.

"Wait, since when do you beyblade?" I asked, curiously.

"I always have and always will." Said my mother.

"Alright, onto the roof. The battle will begin shortly." Said my father.

We went up to the roof and went to our stadium.

"Let's do this!" Said my brother

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"GO SHOOOT!" We said in the raging wind.

"Go Lynx! Attack!" Said my mother.

Her bey started to jump up and crash down on Saggitario. It kind of looked like claws that were slashing downwards.

"Take center, Eagle!" Said my Father as Eagle raced to the center of the stadium.

'No problem.' I thought.

"Knocked him out of the center, Blowfish!" I said.

"Fly up, Eagle!" Said my father before Blowfish hit Eagle.

Eagle went soaring into the air and landed on my bey (hovered over it actually). How could I beat someone I couldn't hit?
Chapter 9

"Keep going, Lynx!" Said my mom.

My brother was taking heavy damage. I had to help him. Besides, I couldn't even hit my dad.

"Protect Saggitario!" I said.

Blowfish got in the way of one of the attacks and started to take the hits. I Noticed something though. Lynx started to lose spin fast. But then, it happened.

"Go Eagle! Special Move! Power-up!" Said my father as Eagle started to give spin to Lynx.

"Alright! Special Move! Prey Cutter!" Said my mother.

Lynx started to jump higher and attacked at different angles and in different places, causing Blowfish to lose spin faster than an R2F covered in molasses (Yay for beyblade related metaphors!).

"You think it's time dear?" Said my father my father to my mother.

"I believe it is." Replied my mother alright.

"Okay, but first, let's tell them the secret to our attacks." Said my father.

"Alright. Your probably wondering how Lynx is hopping like that. Well, I have the new SPF Tip. It mean SPring Flat. That's why she's jumping and changing angles so randomly."

"Now for my Flame Eagle. It's basically a helicopter. Flame is great for flying due to it's propeller like shape and it's low weight. The real secret though is the Track. It's WDF145. It's a bigger and much stronger version of DF145. It makes more air hit the ground because it's wider. So much, that a light bey like mine, can easily hover over the ground and other beys." Said my father.

"Talk about over complicated." Said my mother under her breath.

"Now Eagle, let Lynx fly!" Said my dad.

Lynx then hopped on Eagle and they flew at least 20 feet above the stadium.

"Now! Tag-Team Special Move! Inferno Claw!" They said in unison.

It was over for Blowfish... or so I though. Right before the attack hit, Saggitario jumped in the way and was sent flying into the air. It gave me a slightly risky idea.

"Remember what we did to the Dranity Brothers?" I asked my brother.

"Ya...can we do it without Rez?" He asked.

"Probably but less effectively. It's our last chance." I told him.

"Okay, let's begin." He said.

"Go Blowfish! Next to Saggitario!" I yelled, "Now, Special Move! Waterwall Barrage!"

Water surround our beys.

"Now Saggitario! Special Move! Deadly Harpoon!" Yelled my brother.

It turned into a whirlpool and crashed down.

"Tag-Team Special Move! Whirlpool Arrow!" We yelled in unison.

The entire stadium was flooded except for a little dome with Blowfish and Saggitario inside. Lynx and Eagle were all washed up.

"Well done!" Said my mother.

"Well, where are our bit-beasts?" I asked. I didn't want it to sound so rude but, I was really excited.

"You will achieve them in a dream." Said my father as he walked inside.

"Get to bed. It's 2:00 A.M." Said my mother.

I ran to bed. I had a dream, but it didn't make much sense. All I saw was a blowfish saying:
"Use the spikes."
What was that supposed to mean?

Sorry for the double post.
nice

how many are you going to do in one day?
Lol. last one of the day.
Chapter 9
I woke up to the smell of ham and cheese omelettes, french toast and...BACON! This could only mean one thing. My mom wasn't home. She was allergic to the smell of pork (she got sick anyways) so we rarely ever ate bacon. I went downstairs.

"Hi dad." I said casually.

"Mornin' son," he said,"There's a note on the table for you."

I went to the kitchen table. There was a indeed a note in the middle of the tablecloth. It read:

"Dear Hitaiyo,

I went out to the store to get some groceries. I got you into a tournament for 3PM. It's should be around noon by the time you read this so you should have about 2 hours of practice (about 1 hour to eat breakfast). Get there on time and please wear sun screen.

Love,

Mom."

"Breakfast is ready!" called my dad.

I turned to the clock. Noon. How does she do it?

...


After eating my breakfast, I went to Kaila's house. Maybe she could train with me. When I got there though, there was another note.

"Dear whoever,

We're not home right now. We're at a barbecue in Jade Village. We'll be back around 6 o'clock.

Sincerely,

The Crystels"

What's with people and noted today? I turned and went to Hinta Park. When I got there, I noticed a large group of kids surrounding a stadium. I went through to see what was going on.

"Alright Andromeda! Let's finish this!" Said a girl with an Australian accent, "Special Move! Surf Bump!"

All of a sudden her bey started knocking the opposing bey up. every time it came back down, her bey would get taller and smash it again. Eventually, her bey knocked it so hard, it flew at least 5 meters away from the stadium.

"Alright, who's next she asked?" She asked.

"I will." I answered. My mom said to get some practice in.

"Alright, but you'll never beat us! Andromeda and I will beat you all the way back home!" She said tauntingly.

"Well, I should know my 'beater'." I said. It sounded cooler in my head.

"Name's Ino, Ino Kagetuchi." Sha said.

'Ino Kagetuchi...' I thought, 'Oh no!'
This is awesome! I've been on the idea of making a story, but I couldn't think of what to base it on because I don't want to create something completely new right now. I think I might make a beyblade story, but I don't know yet. This is completely awesome though and I would love to read more!!!
When is my character going to be in???

And am I good or Bad??
those parts are great i mostly like the that great special move spiralying magma arrow
(Nov. 29, 2010  9:21 AM)GrandKetosClan Wrote: When is my character going to be in???

And am I good or Bad??

Bad idea to be asking questions here, he already said he was too nice not to answer them and would ruin the story, lol.
LOL. I wasn't kidding. *resists answering* Okay, thank you to the people complementing my story. I'm such a slacker lol. there might not be a chapter up oday because I have a huge assignment due friday and I haven't started. It's not like big big. I'm only in Grade 7. So ya. You guys are awesome! (Oh and sorry for the abuse of the ! button.)
new character
name:Jordan Hagane
bey:water dragon HT145 SHF
Bey-parts: water is a wavy fusion wheel with 3 spikes sticking out the side dragon is kind of like L-drago clear wheel but can fit on any fusion wheel HT145 is a mix between H145 and ED145 and SHF is semi hole flat the tip has half a hole in the circle on the bottom and its special move is waving slice blast that water dragon goes under the stadium then smashes up and KOes the opponents bey, it is a left spinning bey
oh and Jordan uses the digital power launcher
Name: Nathan Saganii
Beyblade: Psycho Griffon B_125RFD
Face: white shows a Griffon
Energy ring Griffon: purple looks like Leone's but has a wing on it.
Fusion Wheel psycho: looks like the mad fusion wheel but has small blades in the gaps. Spin Track B 125: has blades sticking out of the spin track.
Performance Tip RFD: can change from Rubber Flat to Defense.

special move: Griffon wing smash
There is no mad wheel. It's Dark. I need to add to the OP.