Member
Hello there members of the WBO!
I decided to try a non-beyblade story.
I want legit criticism please.
I hope to finish this story!
SO READ AWAY!
![[Image: KingoMisfits2.png]](https://i1057.photobucket.com/albums/t388/EpicJoey247/KingoMisfits2.png)
I decided to try a non-beyblade story.
I want legit criticism please.
I hope to finish this story!
SO READ AWAY!
Characters in Chibi Form (Click to View)
Prolouge (Click to View)
As soon as I heard the loudspeakers announce:
"All students in the hallways go to a classroom immediately! Our school has been over-run by.... AH! Heeellp."
That it was hopeless. I walked down the hallway, stepping over dead bodies. I heard a gunshot from behind me.
"Hey Kid! Go to Hell!"
A man with a Guy Fawkes mask held up a ASP sideways, ready to shoot. I am Micheal Shinoram and I go to PÄfekuto Academy, and my life is in lockdown
"All students in the hallways go to a classroom immediately! Our school has been over-run by.... AH! Heeellp."
That it was hopeless. I walked down the hallway, stepping over dead bodies. I heard a gunshot from behind me.
"Hey Kid! Go to Hell!"
A man with a Guy Fawkes mask held up a ASP sideways, ready to shoot. I am Micheal Shinoram and I go to PÄfekuto Academy, and my life is in lockdown
Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Chapter 1
It was a crisp, rainy Tuesday morning, when it all happened. I walked to school with my best friend, Ray Mychomo.
“Hey, Michael! Heard of that gang that’s taking over places?†said Ray
I looked at the ground.
“Yes, I have. They’re the Equinox. They’ve already taken over one police department.†I answered.
The sky was an eerie gray. When we arrived at the school, the rain had stopped. I walked to my locker silently. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school.
“Hey Mikey!†shouted a deep voice.
John Kunomoto, one of the jocks of the school approached me. He was the one of the popular kids that always had a girl drooling over him. He thinks he’s the best person alive.
“Hello John.†I replied plainly.
“Aww, somebody miss their daddy?â€
My blood boiled and rage surged through my body. My Dad had died a month ago. He was murdered by one of his co-workers. He worked as a police officer. My mother has been stressed, working all day, caring for 2 children.
“You are a carp!†I yelled
I threw a punch at his face, and it successfully landed. I tackled him to the ground. I grabbed him by the neck.
“If you talk about my father again, I will not hold back.†I said.
He scampered away. I went to my locker and unlocked it. I took my books and headed off to my first period class, ELA. Then, the loudspeaker came on.
“All students in the hallways go to a classroom immediately! Our school has been over-run by.... AH! Heeellp."
I ran to a classroom across the hall. A hand grabbed me. I was pulled towards a man with a bullet-proof vest, heavy duty boots, a SPAS-12, and a Guy Fawkes mask. He held the shotgun up to my head.
“Hey kid. GO TO HELL!†He yelled.
I had to think quickly. As soon as he began to pull the trigger I got out of his grasp and re-directed the shotgun to face him. He shot hit him in the head, an instant kill-shot. I did the logical thing and looted the body. I took his SPAS-12, knife, and grenade. On the back of his vest it read:
“Equinoxâ€
I stood there, gaping at the words. Our school has been over-run by a merciless gang. I took the bullet-proof vest and ran off down the hallway. I decided to look for other people. I opened the door of classroom 234, the Home and Careers room. I heard a whimper.
“P-P-Pl-leas don’t kill me!â€
I barged into the classroom. Another Guy Fawkes masked man was holding an ASP up to a girl’s head. I ran at him. I knocked him in the back on the head with my gun and aimed it at him.
“You are a scumbag.†I said.
I pulled out my knife and threw it at his head. I quickly took a desk up the classroom door to barricade it. I ran to the girl.
“Are you okay?†I questioned.
“Yes.†She replied.
“My name is Michael. What’s yours?â€
“I’m Hanna, Hanna Orcuno, I’m a 10th grader.â€
“So am I.â€
I helped her up. She suddenly hugged me.
“T-T-h-hank you I would have been dead if it weren’t for you.â€
“It’s fine.†I said hugging her back.
I knew that I had to find Ray and other people, but I had to stay with Hanna…
It was a crisp, rainy Tuesday morning, when it all happened. I walked to school with my best friend, Ray Mychomo.
“Hey, Michael! Heard of that gang that’s taking over places?†said Ray
I looked at the ground.
“Yes, I have. They’re the Equinox. They’ve already taken over one police department.†I answered.
The sky was an eerie gray. When we arrived at the school, the rain had stopped. I walked to my locker silently. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school.
“Hey Mikey!†shouted a deep voice.
John Kunomoto, one of the jocks of the school approached me. He was the one of the popular kids that always had a girl drooling over him. He thinks he’s the best person alive.
“Hello John.†I replied plainly.
“Aww, somebody miss their daddy?â€
My blood boiled and rage surged through my body. My Dad had died a month ago. He was murdered by one of his co-workers. He worked as a police officer. My mother has been stressed, working all day, caring for 2 children.
“You are a carp!†I yelled
I threw a punch at his face, and it successfully landed. I tackled him to the ground. I grabbed him by the neck.
“If you talk about my father again, I will not hold back.†I said.
He scampered away. I went to my locker and unlocked it. I took my books and headed off to my first period class, ELA. Then, the loudspeaker came on.
“All students in the hallways go to a classroom immediately! Our school has been over-run by.... AH! Heeellp."
I ran to a classroom across the hall. A hand grabbed me. I was pulled towards a man with a bullet-proof vest, heavy duty boots, a SPAS-12, and a Guy Fawkes mask. He held the shotgun up to my head.
“Hey kid. GO TO HELL!†He yelled.
I had to think quickly. As soon as he began to pull the trigger I got out of his grasp and re-directed the shotgun to face him. He shot hit him in the head, an instant kill-shot. I did the logical thing and looted the body. I took his SPAS-12, knife, and grenade. On the back of his vest it read:
“Equinoxâ€
I stood there, gaping at the words. Our school has been over-run by a merciless gang. I took the bullet-proof vest and ran off down the hallway. I decided to look for other people. I opened the door of classroom 234, the Home and Careers room. I heard a whimper.
“P-P-Pl-leas don’t kill me!â€
I barged into the classroom. Another Guy Fawkes masked man was holding an ASP up to a girl’s head. I ran at him. I knocked him in the back on the head with my gun and aimed it at him.
“You are a scumbag.†I said.
I pulled out my knife and threw it at his head. I quickly took a desk up the classroom door to barricade it. I ran to the girl.
“Are you okay?†I questioned.
“Yes.†She replied.
“My name is Michael. What’s yours?â€
“I’m Hanna, Hanna Orcuno, I’m a 10th grader.â€
“So am I.â€
I helped her up. She suddenly hugged me.
“T-T-h-hank you I would have been dead if it weren’t for you.â€
“It’s fine.†I said hugging her back.
I knew that I had to find Ray and other people, but I had to stay with Hanna…
Chapter 2 (Click to View)
Hanna and I started to head out of the classroom. She was wearing a grey jacket with brown boots. She was shaking. This had really taken a toll on her.
“It’s going to be alright.†I said trying to calm her.
“Okay†she replied.
We headed down the hallway. The light would flicker on and off, every couple of seconds. I trampled over a dead body. I heard voices.
“Hey, this abduction is the easiest yet!â€
“Yeah, it is!â€
“We’ll make tons of money ransoming the school and all the children!â€
“And in the end, we’ll kill em’ all!â€
Their laugh lingered throughout my mind. Three of the masked people walked down the hallway.
“Take my knife.†I whispered to Hanna.
She nodded. I hid at the corner of the hallway, looking at the brutes every couple of seconds. They were approaching quickly. I put my back against the wall, as did Hanna. She was nervous I could tell. I was ready to attack. I put my hand on Hanna’s shoulder, signaling her to stay. I walked out slowly. Time seemed to slow down as I stepped out. I knew I had caught them by surprise. I quickly pulled out my SPAS-12. I quickly shot one of the men and smacked his body out of the way, and used his dead body as a shield. I kicked over the second man and shot him as well. Suddenly my SPAS-12 was swiped out of my hand and I was knocked over. I suddenly was the scope of a PSG sniper.
“Good try kid.†The third man snickered.
I heard a cry of effort. The man threw up blood and fell over. Hanna was behind him with an angry face and a bloody knife. She helped me up.
“Thank you so much.†I said.
“You’re welcome.†She replied.
It was my turn to thank her. I hugged her, and she openly accepted. I had no idea what to do, how to do it, or handle it, but I knew I wanted to be with Hanna.
“It’s going to be alright.†I said trying to calm her.
“Okay†she replied.
We headed down the hallway. The light would flicker on and off, every couple of seconds. I trampled over a dead body. I heard voices.
“Hey, this abduction is the easiest yet!â€
“Yeah, it is!â€
“We’ll make tons of money ransoming the school and all the children!â€
“And in the end, we’ll kill em’ all!â€
Their laugh lingered throughout my mind. Three of the masked people walked down the hallway.
“Take my knife.†I whispered to Hanna.
She nodded. I hid at the corner of the hallway, looking at the brutes every couple of seconds. They were approaching quickly. I put my back against the wall, as did Hanna. She was nervous I could tell. I was ready to attack. I put my hand on Hanna’s shoulder, signaling her to stay. I walked out slowly. Time seemed to slow down as I stepped out. I knew I had caught them by surprise. I quickly pulled out my SPAS-12. I quickly shot one of the men and smacked his body out of the way, and used his dead body as a shield. I kicked over the second man and shot him as well. Suddenly my SPAS-12 was swiped out of my hand and I was knocked over. I suddenly was the scope of a PSG sniper.
“Good try kid.†The third man snickered.
I heard a cry of effort. The man threw up blood and fell over. Hanna was behind him with an angry face and a bloody knife. She helped me up.
“Thank you so much.†I said.
“You’re welcome.†She replied.
It was my turn to thank her. I hugged her, and she openly accepted. I had no idea what to do, how to do it, or handle it, but I knew I wanted to be with Hanna.
Chapter 3 (Click to View)
Chapter 3
Hanna and I were on our way to the other side of the school, looking for other students.
“Michael, I’m not scared anymore.â€
“Good.†I replied
“We’re in a living hell, aren’t we?â€
“Yes, I think so.â€
We arrived at the technology room. I thought we should take accommodation in there.
“Let’s go in the tech room, it should be safe, but keep that knife, it could come in handy.â€
“Okay.â€
We slowly walked into the pitch-black room. I saw a sudden flash of light. A little fire had started. I saw five of the masked men. They were huddled around the fire.
“Damn, light bulb went out.â€
“Yeah, how long are we going to be here?â€
“I dunno, until this stupid town is totally taken over.â€
“What about the Grand Equinox?â€
“The boss? He’s good.â€
The boss. These words echoed throughout my head. He was the one I had to kill. He was the circus master, the puppeteer, he was pulling the strings. All the rage I had been holding in was finally ready to come out. I ran into the room fired my last barrel of bullets and threw a grenade in the fire.
“OH SH*T†One of them yelled.
I was blown out of the room and slid down the hallway.
“MICHAEL!†Hanna yelled.
I hit a locker with tremendous force. Everything was blurry. I arm was bleeding badly.
A masked man picked me up by the collar.
“Hey kid, let’s have a talk, IN HELL!†he said.
“F*ck you†I replied.
I punched him in the face, took his gun and shot him in the face. I turned to see a squad of six more masked men. I fell to the floor and coughed up blood.
“Okay you bastards, bring it on!†I yelled.
I had no idea what was to happen next, but it sure would be one bloody hell of a time…
Hanna and I were on our way to the other side of the school, looking for other students.
“Michael, I’m not scared anymore.â€
“Good.†I replied
“We’re in a living hell, aren’t we?â€
“Yes, I think so.â€
We arrived at the technology room. I thought we should take accommodation in there.
“Let’s go in the tech room, it should be safe, but keep that knife, it could come in handy.â€
“Okay.â€
We slowly walked into the pitch-black room. I saw a sudden flash of light. A little fire had started. I saw five of the masked men. They were huddled around the fire.
“Damn, light bulb went out.â€
“Yeah, how long are we going to be here?â€
“I dunno, until this stupid town is totally taken over.â€
“What about the Grand Equinox?â€
“The boss? He’s good.â€
The boss. These words echoed throughout my head. He was the one I had to kill. He was the circus master, the puppeteer, he was pulling the strings. All the rage I had been holding in was finally ready to come out. I ran into the room fired my last barrel of bullets and threw a grenade in the fire.
“OH SH*T†One of them yelled.
I was blown out of the room and slid down the hallway.
“MICHAEL!†Hanna yelled.
I hit a locker with tremendous force. Everything was blurry. I arm was bleeding badly.
A masked man picked me up by the collar.
“Hey kid, let’s have a talk, IN HELL!†he said.
“F*ck you†I replied.
I punched him in the face, took his gun and shot him in the face. I turned to see a squad of six more masked men. I fell to the floor and coughed up blood.
“Okay you bastards, bring it on!†I yelled.
I had no idea what was to happen next, but it sure would be one bloody hell of a time…
"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"- Yagami Light
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