Hey Nyan Cat i need a special move Name other than Grind

---

Chapter 3-Part 2: Andrew Vs. Riley

Andrew and Riley got into positions.
The air was tense.
"3...2...1...LET IT RIP!!"
They both launched their beys into the stadium.
"Okay Andrew, let's just see how strong your rock 'em sock 'em robot really is?" Riley said mockingly
"I'll make you eat those words....GO OMEGA STRIKE!!" Andrew yelled.
Omega charged and hit Aries, nearly sending it flying out of the stadium.
"ARIES!!!"
Aries landed back in the stadium.
"That was too close." Riley said.
"OMEGA ATTACK!!" Andrew yelled.
Omega started ramming Aries, but Aries was uneffected.
"Hmph, your attacks have no effect." Riley said.
"Grrrr....OMEGA STRIKE!!!" Andrew said.
Omega started to attack Aries fiercely. Suddenly Aries started to glow.
"ARIES SPECIAL MOVE BASALT METAL SHIELD!!!" Riley yelled.
Omega was blown away. Andrew needed a plan to stop Aries' special move.
"OMEGA THIS OUR SPECIAL MOVE....OMEGA: MECHANICAL AVALANCHE!!!!!" Andrew yelled intensely.
"Wha..what!?!?" Riley said in a worried tone.
Omega shot into the air after glowing with red energy. Suddenly, Omega came back down going as fast as a falling metorite.
"NOW!!!" Andrew yelled.
Omega crashed into Aries causing it to lose all spin power.
"YEAH I WON!!" Andrew said excitingly
They both walk towards each other and shook one another's hand.
"Impressive, for a little kid." A mysterious voice said.
"HEY...WHO'S THERE!?!?" William yelled.
Then something appeared out of the shadows.
"Hello I'm Xyn."

Ok how about "Inferno of pain"?

Ok that will do

---

Nameatoshi
Age:13
Bey: Diamond CerberusBD85LRHF/LXF
Bey Type: Attack/Spin Steal (LRHF=Barrage LXF=Assult)
Special Move:
Triple Fang Crush= The Bey Rushes at the Foe and Hits them with Ice Fangs
Blizzard= It circles the opponet of No way getting out and The foe is trapped in a Blizzard, Then Cerberus strikes Like a Rushing Blizzard
Lighting Assult= Cerberus multiplies its Head Into 6 Cerberus heads And strikes the opponet Like This(The second one) But on the Ground and finishes it off with all Six heads attacking at once.
Personality: Bad but learns to be Good later. "clear-thinking; quick-witted; wise." and Sometimes Quiet.
Bey Description: Facebolt looks like Kerbecks But it's blue with a Silver outline.
No energy Ring
Wheel is painted black, it has 6 Cerberus heads overlapping each other.
Track Boost Disk 85, color clear blue
Tip left rubber Hole Flat/Left Xtreme Flat. Color is clear Blue

Friend of Ryuga, Brother of Damian(guy with Kerbecks)

Bit beast looks like this: http://www.twilightvisions.com/dante/ima...rberus.jpg

---

Ryu13 made this Sig.[img][/img]

Nameatoshi
Age:13
Bey: Diamond CerberusBD85LRHF/LXF
Bey Type: Attack/Spin Steal (LRHF=Barrage LXF=Assult)
Special Move:
Triple Fang Crush= The Bey Rushes at the Foe and Hits them with Ice Fangs
Blizzard= It circles the opponet of No way getting out and The foe is trapped in a Blizzard, Then Cerberus strikes Like a Rushing Blizzard
Lighting Assult= Cerberus multiplies its Head Into 6 Cerberus heads And strikes the opponet Like This(The second one) But on the Ground and finishes it off with all Six heads attacking at once.
Personality: Bad but learns to be Good later. "clear-thinking; quick-witted; wise." and Sometimes Quiet.
Bey Description: Facebolt looks like Kerbecks But it's blue with a Silver outline.
No energy Ring
Wheel is painted black, it has 6 Cerberus heads overlapping each other.
Track Boost Disk 85, color clear blue
Tip left rubber Hole Flat/Left Xtreme Flat. Color is clear Blue

Friend of Ryuga, Brother of Damian(guy with Kerbecks)

Bit beast looks like this: http://www.twilightvisions.com/dante/ima...rberus.jpg

great thnx hes in

---

Chapter 4: Xyn

"WHO ARE YOU!?!?" Riley yelled.
"My name is Xyn, for the second time." Xyn said.
Xyn then pulled something out of his pocket. It looked like a little saw blade.
"Here is my bey, Phantom Nemesis 100XD."
The bey looked a saw blade and was all black.
"Now who will be my first victim?" Xyn asked with a demented look.
Xyn then looked at Riley.
"Okay Xyn, let's blade." Riley said
Riley and Xyn got into positions.
"Are you ready to experiance true pain?" Xyn asked
Riley didn't say a word.
3...2...1........
Before launching their beys, they a short stare off.
"LET IT RIP!" They both said
Both beys landed in the stadium. Nemesis charged at Aries, clashing with sparks. Riley noticed little bits of metal flying all over the place.
"Hmph, your bey is trying to hard." Riley said with a smirk.
Xyn just laughed, sadisticly.
"NOW NEMESIS, INFERNO OF PAIN!!" Xyn yelled.
Suddenly, Nemesis was on fire.
"Now I will burn your bey to a crisp." Xyn said
Riley could then see ashes flying everywhere as well as bits of metal.
"NO STOP IT!!" Riley yelled
Xyn just stood there and laughed.
"I have to stop this." Andrew said
Then Andrew launched Omega at Nemesis. Omega hit Nemesis causing it to fly out the stadium.
"What the...you stupid little brat!" Xyn yelled with anger.
"I will deal with you three later." Xyn said.
Then Xyn left.
"Riley, is your Aries alright?" William asked
Riley looked at William, then at Aries.
"Yeah he's okay." Riley said sadly.
"Dont worry, we'll get him sooner or later." Andrew said.
Andrew started to think to himself, Xyn.

---

You described 'saw blade' twice...

This could use a lot of improvement. For one, I couldn't find a single sentence without dialogue. That is definitely something you need to work on.

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Not enough description. You can't always use dialogue to describe things.
Such as this:
"Now, Nemesis! Inferno of Pain!" Xyn yelled, pointing at Aries.
Flames shot out of Nemesis, engulfing the area and creating ashed as Nemesis moved.
"Now, I shall burn your pathetic bey to ashes." Xyn pointed Aries out to Nemesis, sending it into a furious flurry of attacks, forcing Aries to attempt a pathetic and hasty retreat. The idea of running was quashed, and Nemesis was bashing into Aries repeatedly, sending ashes and burned scrap flying everywhere.
"Please, stop! You can't do this!" Riley pleaded with Xyn, but his words meant nothing. Xyn laughed, continuing to destroy Aries.
Nearby, Andrew had seen enough. "I've got to put a stop to this!"

And so on. Get it? Describe the scene!

What Sparta and Megablader9 said It just doesn't have a good feel to the story...

---

How do I still have 17th most posts here...?

Nameante
Age:11
Bey: Frost Drakkix IC145TR
Bey Type: Attack
Special Move: Icicle End = The bey covers the floor with ice and then jumps in the air and comes smashing down causing the ice to move in a wave sending the bey flying in the air over the stadium.
Extreme Hail Storm = The bey whips up and Snow storm ( the bey is controlling it while inside it) and it shoots out Hail (really big hail)
Bey Description: The wheel is Blue and it has Three sections each has a little shoulder pad and it gets smaller down the wheel. The energy wheel is a little more dark blue and it had a circular shape and the end of it, it gets a little higher then the tips curve to make a hook shape. IC ( Ice Claws) Stick out when spinning fast and lower when not so fast.

---

Why I cant buy stuff from people's shops due to Addres giving
Re-creation
O.o <----------- GET OVER HERE
Me OH S@$!

I think I shall write a story...

Well, it's a good story, it just really lacks description, we know what is going on, but we can't really picture it in our minds...

---

Spoiler (Click to View)

Just wondering, is the LED sight any good? Like, does it help at all? Because I have a hard time aiming...

Not really. Use it to blind your opponent, like Kei does.

They are, but it was amusing seeing all those kids talk about their fat heads.

Hey all. Just a little mini rant. Hasbro really messed up with certain Beyblades. For example, Hasbro's Fang wheel is terrible, while Tomy's version is freaking awesome. Same with That one bey with the balls in the 4D Fusion Wheel.

I'm just bored of christmas. It's a commercial crazy tradition.

You're saying that now, you might have something different to say tomorrow morning.

Not enough description. You can't always use dialogue to describe things.
Such as this:
"Now, Nemesis! Inferno of Pain!" Xyn yelled, pointing at Aries.
Flames shot out of Nemesis, engulfing the area and creating ashed as Nemesis moved.
"Now, I shall burn your pathetic bey to ashes." Xyn pointed Aries out to Nemesis, sending it into a furious flurry of attacks, forcing Aries to attempt a pathetic and hasty retreat. The idea of running was quashed, and Nemesis was bashing into Aries repeatedly, sending ashes and burned scrap flying everywhere.
"Please, stop! You can't do this!" Riley pleaded with Xyn, but his words meant nothing. Xyn laughed, continuing to destroy Aries.
Nearby, Andrew had seen enough. "I've got to put a stop to this!"

And so on. Get it? Describe the scene!

Okay thank you i never really thought it like that

---

You described 'saw blade' twice...

This could use a lot of improvement. For one, I couldn't find a single sentence without dialogue. That is definitely something you need to work on.

Yes i realize that now

---

Nameante
Age:11
Bey: Frost Drakkix IC145TR
Bey Type: Attack
Special Move: Icicle End = The bey covers the floor with ice and then jumps in the air and comes smashing down causing the ice to move in a wave sending the bey flying in the air over the stadium.
Extreme Hail Storm = The bey whips up and Snow storm ( the bey is controlling it while inside it) and it shoots out Hail (really big hail)
Bey Description: The wheel is Blue and it has Three sections each has a little shoulder pad and it gets smaller down the wheel. The energy wheel is a little more dark blue and it had a circular shape and the end of it, it gets a little higher then the tips curve to make a hook shape. IC ( Ice Claws) Stick out when spinning fast and lower when not so fast.

I need a character description like how he acts and stuff

---

Chapter 5: Satoshi, Friend or Foe

As Andrew, William and Riley were walking home, Andrew couldn't help but to think about Xyn.
"Andrew, are you awake?" William asked while he was waving his hand in front Andrew's face.
"Quit it, I'm just thinking." Andrew said as he hit William's hand out his face.
Just then, some one came out of nowhere. He then pulled out, what looked like a Pre-HWS beyblade
"I'm Satoshi, let's battle." Satoshi said as he pulled out his launcher and pointed at Andrew.
"Fine I'll battle but, I say where we battle." Andrew said as he grabbed Omega and his launcher.
"Okay then, so where do we battle?" Satoshi asked as he lookedd sternly at Andrew.
Andrew then pointed Bey park.
"We'll battle at Bey park, after all that's where I get all of my good wins." Andrew said with a smirk.
"Fine, let's go." said Satoshi.
They then headed for Bey park without saying a word. When they got there, they saw that everyone was battling in a stadium.
"Follow me." Andrew said as he pointed to a tree stump.
They made it to the tree stump but, it was huge and hollowed out like a bey stadium.
"We'll battle here." Andrew said as he grabbed Omega.
"Fine by me." Satoshi replied as he pulled out his bey.
"My bey is Dimond Cerberus." Satoshi said.
They got their launchers out.
"3..2..1..LET IT RIP!!"
Both beys landed in the tree stump stadium.
"GO CERBERUS ATTACK!" Satoshi said as he pointed at Omega.
Cerberus charged at Omega and sent him flying.
"I don't think so, OMEGA NEW MOVE, BETA: IMMEDIATE TRANSMISSION!!" Andrew yelled as he pointed at Omega. Omega then vanished out of thin air.
"ATTACK NOW!!" Andrew yelled as he pointed at Cerberus.
All of a sudden the sky got dark.
"NOW CERBERUS, LIGHTNING ASSAULT!!" Satoshi yelled and holding his hands to the sky.
Then a giant black three-headed dog appeared. It then multiplied into a six-headed dog and started attacking Omega's bit beast.
"Cerberus, finish it." Satoshi said as he pointed at his own bey.
Cerberus attacked Omega causing it fly out of the stadium.
"Looks like I won this one, hmph." Satoshi said as he walked away.
"You okay Andrew?" William asked as he helped him up.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Andrew said with a serious look.
Then Andrew was thinking about Satoshi and Xyn as well.

---

For my 7 readers i have decided to stop writing this story. I'm going stop because I don't have enough characters, I don't know where to go with it and I think this was more of a learning experiance. With my new found knowledge I will write a new story which i have alredy written but have not yet posted. I don't know when I will post but, I will post it and I say Good day.

---