(Jan. 07, 2022 3:57 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Story Of Lanes Sister Season 3 Chapter 2: Beherit VS The World!!
https://www.wattpad.com/1172001900-story...lade-burst
I liked how Valt didn't lose the First Battle immediately but there are also some Slight Issues that I'd like to kindly address with this Episode are the fact that Valt and Rashad are already battling Bella and the fact that we didn't really get to see much of Bella's Personality in this Episode which I really wanted to see since we barely got to see her Character in the 1st Episode. We only really saw things from Athena's point of view which really blocks how and when Bella's going to develop throughout this series. And I know this is based off DB but to me it kinda felt too much like DB and I honestly think Bella beating Valt in the Second Episode is way to early for her to beat the WBBA World Champion even if she is a System ahead and she already lost to him with a Burst Finish I still feel like this happened way to early and I guess you could make the argument that Bell beat Valt in the 7th Episode (4th Episode in the Dub) but we kinda already got a built up and Bell had lots and lots of Training with Ranzo prior to that battle and we got to see a lot of Bell's Character before then. I'm not trying to be rude or controlling or anything like that I'm just giving my Honest Opinion Fanfic Writer to Fanfic Writer. You don't really have to improve on these again this is my opinion so feel free to just completely ignore me Like everyone does in IRL Anyways, enough about me. This Chapter other than these small nitpicks was pretty good ain't gonna lie. I'm excited to see a Showdown between Athena and Bella!