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[Fan Fiction]  LegendJustice’s FanFictions (Beyblade Burst Justice and Devil ongoing)

Aug. 12, 2021  6:45 PM
 
Yo Chapter 12 Is ACTUALLY here so enjoy Smile! Bruh this took days….
Spoiler (Click to View)
Aug. 12, 2021  6:46 PM
 
(Aug. 12, 2021  6:45 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Yo Chapter 12 Is ACTUALLY here so enjoy Smile! Bruh this took days….
Spoiler (Click to View)

I'll rate soon, but not now.
Aug. 12, 2021  6:47 PM
 
(Aug. 12, 2021  6:46 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2021  6:45 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Yo Chapter 12 Is ACTUALLY here so enjoy Smile! Bruh this took days….
Spoiler (Click to View)

I'll rate soon, but not now.

Okay 👍🏾!
Aug. 12, 2021  7:23 PM
 
nice episode man!!!! i love it!!!!
Aug. 12, 2021  7:30 PM
 
(Aug. 12, 2021  6:45 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Yo Chapter 12 Is ACTUALLY here so enjoy Smile! Bruh this took days….
Spoiler (Click to View)

Yeah so, this wasn't your best chapter (Btw: Breaking a Driver is just as bad as breaking a Layer)

Plot: 2.5/5: It wasn't really clear and educated well, in fact, the plot was very confusing and unclear. Also, A Defense Type using a whip move? First: I'm pretty sure only attack types and Balance types can use whip moves, Second: Why would Boa attack? Bahamut's a Defense Type so it should be defending like seen in real life and in the anime, putting a Bey out of its comfort zone is never a good idea, you should've made Balkesh counterattack.

Grammar: 4.5/5: Saw very little and common mistakes.

Length: 3/5: It was a bit short, if you made this longer, you could've made the battle way better.

Character: 3/5: Not much to say, they just felt, dead.

Dialogue: 2/5: As I stated in Characters it felt very plain and talking just for talking

Overall: 15.5/25: Yeah, not your best chapter, you can improve, you just really need to try hard!
Aug. 12, 2021  7:59 PM
 
Balkesh being attack? Dang it I meant for it to be Balance anyways Thanks so much for telling my I’ll probably never bring boa in a chapter again lol
Aug. 12, 2021  8:31 PM
 
Nooooo I need Boa😭
If he's not in the anime you have to have him in your storyline!
Aug. 12, 2021  11:23 PM
 
(Aug. 12, 2021  7:59 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Balkesh being attack? Dang it I meant for it to be Balance anyways Thanks so much for telling my I’ll probably never bring boa in a chapter again lol
It protec and it attac

It felt a bit off compared to the others, but it could be because of a writer block.
Aug. 13, 2021  12:28 AM
 
(Aug. 12, 2021  11:23 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2021  7:59 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Balkesh being attack? Dang it I meant for it to be Balance anyways Thanks so much for telling my I’ll probably never bring boa in a chapter again lol
It protec and it attac

It felt a bit off compared to the others, but it could be because of a writer block.

Yeah I have a bad case of Writers block I’m gonna try and take a break
Aug. 13, 2021  12:29 AM
 
(Aug. 13, 2021  12:28 AM)LegendJustice Wrote:
(Aug. 12, 2021  11:23 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: It protec and it attac

It felt a bit off compared to the others, but it could be because of a writer block.

Yeah I have a bad case of Writers block I’m gonna try and take a break

I've written freaking 5 fanfictions and currently writing 3 at a time, writer's block is common, give yourself time to rest, when you rest ideas actually start poping up in your head
Aug. 13, 2021  12:30 AM
 
(Aug. 13, 2021  12:29 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 13, 2021  12:28 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Yeah I have a bad case of Writers block I’m gonna try and take a break

I've written freaking 5 fanfictions and currently writing 3 at a time, writer's block is common, give yourself time to rest, when you rest ideas actually start poping up in your head

Thanks for the advice!
Aug. 13, 2021  12:33 AM
 
yeah that happens sometimes

take some time, do your prime!
Aug. 19, 2021  12:12 AM
 
Chapter 13 IS GONNA BE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! MORE BETTER! Shu's back from his vacation in this chapter and a lot of things go down for instance 2 people start fighting for Bam lol the name of the chapter is:

Friend Or Enemy?!

Cast:

Ryu

Haru

Fubuki

Ari

Bam

Shu

And more
Aug. 19, 2021  12:30 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  12:12 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 13 IS GONNA BE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! MORE BETTER! Shu's back from his vacation in this chapter and a lot of things go down for instance 2 people start fighting for Bam lol the name of the chapter is:

Friend Or Enemy?!

Cast:

Ryu

Haru

Fubuki

Ari

Bam

Shu

And more
oh nuts does bam have some charm behind that cockiness?! lets find out lol
Aug. 19, 2021  12:47 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  12:30 AM)GenesisBlader Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  12:12 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 13 IS GONNA BE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! MORE BETTER! Shu's back from his vacation in this chapter and a lot of things go down for instance 2 people start fighting for Bam lol the name of the chapter is:

Friend Or Enemy?!

Cast:

Ryu

Haru

Fubuki

Ari

Bam

Shu

And more
oh nuts does bam have some charm behind that cockiness?! lets find out lol

You’ll see lol
Aug. 19, 2021  1:01 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  12:12 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 13 IS GONNA BE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! MORE BETTER! Shu's back from his vacation in this chapter and a lot of things go down for instance 2 people start fighting for Bam lol the name of the chapter is:

Friend Or Enemy?!

Cast:

Ryu

Haru

Fubuki

Ari

Bam

Shu

And more

Why is Shu even on Vacation?
Aug. 19, 2021  1:24 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:01 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  12:12 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 13 IS GONNA BE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! MORE BETTER! Shu's back from his vacation in this chapter and a lot of things go down for instance 2 people start fighting for Bam lol the name of the chapter is:

Friend Or Enemy?!

Cast:

Ryu

Haru

Fubuki

Ari

Bam

Shu

And more

Why is Shu even on Vacation?

Being the owner of one of the biggest teams in the world can be tiring + He went there for business
Aug. 19, 2021  1:27 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:24 AM)LegendJustice Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:01 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Why is Shu even on Vacation?

Being the owner of one of the biggest teams in the world can be tiring + He went there for business

We literally barely saw Kris in evolution actually doing work. When you think about it she just supported Bladers and told Theodore Glass to buzz off an occasions but never actually did work, but, I guess your right
Aug. 19, 2021  1:30 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:27 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:24 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Being the owner of one of the biggest teams in the world can be tiring + He went there for business

We literally barely saw Kris in evolution actually doing work. When you think about it she just supported Bladers and told Theodore Glass to buzz off an occasions but never actually did work, but, I guess your right

Yeah here’s how it went down
Spoiler (Click to View)
Aug. 19, 2021  1:33 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:30 AM)LegendJustice Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:27 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: We literally barely saw Kris in evolution actually doing work. When you think about it she just supported Bladers and told Theodore Glass to buzz off an occasions but never actually did work, but, I guess your right

Yeah here’s how it went down
Spoiler (Click to View)

Manger: You've just gotta fill out this--

*Shu runs out the door*

Manager: Wow, he really needed a vacation!

~A Day Later~

*Shu lays on a beach chair siping soda*

Shu: Why have I only done this once?
Aug. 19, 2021  1:34 AM
 
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:33 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 19, 2021  1:30 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Yeah here’s how it went down
Spoiler (Click to View)

Manger: You've just gotta fill out this--

*Shu runs out the door*

Manager: Wow, he really needed a vacation!

~A Day Later~

*Shu lays on a beach chair siping soda*

Shu: Why have I only done this once?

He really needed it!
Aug. 26, 2021  9:43 PM
 
At school my homeroom teacher is the reading teacher so my grammar and writing has improved More BETTER chapters will be uploaded tomorrow!
Aug. 27, 2021  10:04 PM
 
SS's Antag has changed here is the Antag's name: Reva Horifying

His bey:

Vl. Rz Tr Eg+ Fr
Aug. 27, 2021  10:18 PM
 
(Aug. 27, 2021  10:04 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: SS's Antag has changed here is the Antag's name: Reva Horifying

His bey:

Vl. Rz Tr Eg+ Fr

dang that name its pretty poggers👌
Aug. 28, 2021  6:16 PM
 
I’m going to be Switching to the Sub cause I like it
GenesisBlader Heads up if your gonna read chapter 13 The beginning is pretty rushed
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