“Welcome to the world of beyblade, where bladers become the best they are and fight to become the best. This is… Beyblade Burst Storm Seven!” We will go through the adventures of the new blader Ryu Hoai who wants to be the best of the best together with his new bey Storm Remix They will go through countless Events!!
Ryu Hoai
Name: Ryu Hoai
Beyblade: Storm Remix
Personality: Ryu is a cool kid he likes to pull pranks and be active some call him “The Wild Disaster”
Appearance: He wears a crystal shirt with the beyblade logo and black Jeans his Hair color is Black with some Royal Blue in, he has white skin and Crystal Clear eyes and has a Dimond Birthmark.
Moves: Storm Point Breaker, Reverse, Hollow Storm.
Activity’s: Blading, Training, Having fun, and being funny.
First Chapter Preview
Ryu: Gotta go before I’m late for school!
(At school)
Ryu: Huh battle?
???: I’M THE BEST HERE!!
Ryu: Woah!
Find out more on Beyblade Burst Storm S
(Jul. 12, 2021 7:32 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks For your support!
THIS NAME IS SO SICKKKK
and i am also going to follow, when you made this i was watching yt on my tv
Oh, that'll be interesting
(Jul. 12, 2021 8:32 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]First Chapter!
King Of The Sky’s! Storm Remix!
Mom: Ryu! Wake up I got Bacon!
Ryu: zzz.
(Mom leaves)
Mom: That kid! ~Gets 2 frying pans~.
(Mom comes back to Ryu’s room)
Mom: You asked for it…
(Mom starts banging the to frying pans)
Ryu: AH! I’m up.
Mom: Finally, now get up you where suppose to meet with Haru!
Ryu: Okay let me change.
~10 Minutes later~
Ryu: Done!
Mom: Here you go!
(Mom gives Ryu his breakfast)
Ryu (Muffled): Thanks Mom! I gotta get going!
Mom: Bye! Have a great day son!
(At Central Park)
Haru: There you are, come on where gonna be late for school!
Ryu: Sorry let’s go!
~At School~
Random Kid: Hey, Stop it you have already beat everyone here!
Bully 1: No! Batik wants more pray!
Ryu: Stop bullying these kids!
Bully 1: What are you gonna do about it? You don’t even have a beyblade!
(Everyone starts whispering)
Ryu: U-um.
(Haru grabs Ryu and they start running)
Haru: What where you thinking?!!
Ryu: Those kids needed my help!
Haru: You can’t! You don’t even have a beyblade!
Ryu: Then I’ll build one!
Haru: What?!!
~After School~
Haru: So how are you gonna build a bey?
Ryu; I’m gonna make an SS Beyblade!
Haru: A STORM SEVEN BEYBLADE!! Those are extremely hard to make! Let alone get! And you don’t have a 3D printer.
Ryu: 1. Yes I’m building an SS beyblade 2. I can take it 3. I’ll use the Schools 3D printer. Now I’m heading to the printing room!
Haru: Wait I’m building a SS bey too!
~At the schools 3D printing room~
Ryu: So let’s look at the system!
Haru: So many parts! So we have sword mode for attack types, guardian mode for defense types, still mode for stamina types, and switch mode for balance types, And then we have click. It says that click allows you to open a secret part about the modes and then we have barrier which you attach to your beyblade and then it has more of what ever mode you picked.
Ryu: Hmm I want an attack type!
Haru: defense seems cool for me!
Ryu: Let’s get building!
~1 Hour later~
Ryu & Haru: It’s done!
Ryu: Storm Remix!
Haru: Reverse Hydra!
Ryu: Let’s show those bully’s what we’re made of!
Haru: Hold your horses! We still need launchers and have to test them!
Ryu: Oh right, we need launchers!
(Ryu sees a dragon launcher)
~Picks up~
Haru: Hey, You don’t know who that is!
Ryu: Well they left it!
Haru: Whatever.
~Haru gets a launcher~
Ryu: Let’s battle!
Haru: We don’t have a stadium!
Ryu: Oh, Let’s head to Central Park they always have stadiums!
Haru: Okay!
~At Central Park~
Ryu: NOW, we battle!
Ryu & Haru: 3! 2! 1! Let it Rip!
Ryu: Aw man we didn’t pull of Storm Launches!
Haru: Whatever! Now Hydra!
(Hydra takes the center)
Ryu: Remix!
(Remix starts circling around Hydra)
Ryu: Storm Crash!
Haru: Reverse Guard!
(Both beys burst)
Ryu & Haru: *Gasp*
Ryu: Great battle!
Haru: Same!
Bully 1: So you guys made beys….
Sorry if this is short.
Ima just say it felt short and rushed take your time
(Jul. 12, 2021 8:59 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 8:32 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]First Chapter!
King Of The Sky’s! Storm Remix!
Mom: Ryu! Wake up I got Bacon!
Ryu: zzz.
(Mom leaves)
Mom: That kid! ~Gets 2 frying pans~.
(Mom comes back to Ryu’s room)
Mom: You asked for it…
(Mom starts banging the to frying pans)
Ryu: AH! I’m up.
Mom: Finally, now get up you where suppose to meet with Haru!
Ryu: Okay let me change.
~10 Minutes later~
Ryu: Done!
Mom: Here you go!
(Mom gives Ryu his breakfast)
Ryu (Muffled): Thanks Mom! I gotta get going!
Mom: Bye! Have a great day son!
(At Central Park)
Haru: There you are, come on where gonna be late for school!
Ryu: Sorry let’s go!
~At School~
Random Kid: Hey, Stop it you have already beat everyone here!
Bully 1: No! Batik wants more pray!
Ryu: Stop bullying these kids!
Bully 1: What are you gonna do about it? You don’t even have a beyblade!
(Everyone starts whispering)
Ryu: U-um.
(Haru grabs Ryu and they start running)
Haru: What where you thinking?!!
Ryu: Those kids needed my help!
Haru: You can’t! You don’t even have a beyblade!
Ryu: Then I’ll build one!
Haru: What?!!
~After School~
Haru: So how are you gonna build a bey?
Ryu; I’m gonna make an SS Beyblade!
Haru: A STORM SEVEN BEYBLADE!! Those are extremely hard to make! Let alone get! And you don’t have a 3D printer.
Ryu: 1. Yes I’m building an SS beyblade 2. I can take it 3. I’ll use the Schools 3D printer. Now I’m heading to the printing room!
Haru: Wait I’m building a SS bey too!
~At the schools 3D printing room~
Ryu: So let’s look at the system!
Haru: So many parts! So we have sword mode for attack types, guardian mode for defense types, still mode for stamina types, and switch mode for balance types, And then we have click. It says that click allows you to open a secret part about the modes and then we have barrier which you attach to your beyblade and then it has more of what ever mode you picked.
Ryu: Hmm I want an attack type!
Haru: defense seems cool for me!
Ryu: Let’s get building!
~1 Hour later~
Ryu & Haru: It’s done!
Ryu: Storm Remix!
Haru: Reverse Hydra!
Ryu: Let’s show those bully’s what we’re made of!
Haru: Hold your horses! We still need launchers and have to test them!
Ryu: Oh right, we need launchers!
(Ryu sees a dragon launcher)
~Picks up~
Haru: Hey, You don’t know who that is!
Ryu: Well they left it!
Haru: Whatever.
~Haru gets a launcher~
Ryu: Let’s battle!
Haru: We don’t have a stadium!
Ryu: Oh, Let’s head to Central Park they always have stadiums!
Haru: Okay!
~At Central Park~
Ryu: NOW, we battle!
Ryu & Haru: 3! 2! 1! Let it Rip!
Ryu: Aw man we didn’t pull of Storm Launches!
Haru: Whatever! Now Hydra!
(Hydra takes the center)
Ryu: Remix!
(Remix starts circling around Hydra)
Ryu: Storm Crash!
Haru: Reverse Guard!
(Both beys burst)
Ryu & Haru: *Gasp*
Ryu: Great battle!
Haru: Same!
Bully 1: So you guys made beys….
Sorry if this is short.
Ima just say it felt short and rushed take your time
Thanks for your feedback
Yo does anyone wanna rate
Aoi01”
(Jul. 12, 2021 9:01 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 8:59 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: [ -> ]Ima just say it felt short and rushed take your time
Thanks for your feedback
Yo does anyone wanna rate Aoi01”
I'm not gonna rate it But I will give u more feedback, Ok this is how you can make your fanfic successful 1. Get Grammarly 2. Make the main plot for your story and just keep following it if your introducing a new bey tell us as much as you can about that bey 3. Give ur characters personalities and stay on them that'll make ur fanfic succesful
the amount of jokes that the bullies can make out of this bey name (Remix(an example: Remix?! What you gonna do? Play music? {Play laugh_3.mp4}))
I might be following that.
Wanted to Point something out that Ryu is 13 and Haru is 12
(Jul. 12, 2021 10:42 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ] the amount of jokes that the bullies can make out of this bey name (Remix(an example: Remix?! What you gonna do? Play music?))
I might be following that.
Lol 😂
I knew I should have gone with Raziel
(Jul. 12, 2021 10:42 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Wanted to Point something out that Ryu is 13 and Haru is 12
(Jul. 12, 2021 10:42 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ] the amount of jokes that the bullies can make out of this bey name (Remix(an example: Remix?! What you gonna do? Play music?))
I might be following that.
Lol 😂
I knew I should have gone with Raziel
At least you have sth to the bullies do to [insert Remix owner name here] (I'm so good at names as you can see), and then after the battle he would change the bey name.
I... enjoyed that a lot. Just from seeing what you wrote at the bottom I thought there would be no detail or plot, but I really like it! Just add more detail and this will be one of my favorites!
(Jul. 12, 2021 10:49 PM)USN Wrote: [ -> ]I... enjoyed that a lot. Just from seeing what you wrote at the bottom I thought there would be no detail or plot, but I really like it! Just add more detail and this will be one of my favorites!
Thanks I’m making chapter 2 right now!
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:10 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 2!!
Monster King! Wicked Batik!
Ryu: What are you doing here?
Bully 1: I have a name you know.
Haru: What is it?
Bam: It's Bam! And Batik wants a strong opponent
Ryu: We can take you!
Bam: Sure kid, keep dreaming.
Haru: So are you guys gonna battle?
Ryu: Yeah I'm gonna battle this guy! Storm Remix can take him!
Bam: Sure! Prepare to lose!
Haru: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Bam (Mind): Hm Storm Remix, An attack type with no bounds hmm And SS bey, not to mention those 3 blades seem sharp so once in sword mode it's almost an unstoppable force so if I want to burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it before it goes in sword mode let's hope he doesn't know how to enter sword mode yet.
Ryu (Mind): Wicked Batik a balance type, the blades aren't too sharp so I'm gonna need to make this nice and cool!
Haru: First battle, Ready? Set!
Ryu & Bam: 3! 2! 1! Let it rip--
(Bam does a cartwheel)
(Bam pulls off a storm launch)
Ryu (Mind): Still no storm launch.
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik starts charging at Remix)
Ryu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
(Remix doges just in time)
Ryu: Storm point breaker!
(Remix starts going crazy)
Bam: Don't use moves that you can't control! Wicked Saber again!
(Batik zooms into Remix)
Ryu: Reverse!
(Remix slides out of the way and starts attacking from the back)
Bam (Mind): Well what do you know this kid got talent.
Bam: Tricking but how you like this!
(Batik switches into Defense)
(Remix gets blown back)
Bam: Take the center!
Haru: Woah Bam has a nice strategy.
Ryu: Whose side are you on?
Haru: No ones!
Ryu: Alright, We still have one more trick! Hollow storm!
(Wind of all sorts starts circling Remix)
Bam (Mind): What is this?
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik charges at Remix but gets blown away)
(Batik burst)
Bam: ...
Haru: It's a burst finish, Ryu Hoai wins!
Haru: Great going pal, it seems like Batik must have hit the rail of the stadium and it was too hard for it to handle.
(Bam walks away)
Ryu: Nice!
Haru: I almost feel bad for him.
Ryu: You can leave him he's just a bully.
Haru: But he has a heart too!
Ryu: Fine, we can go after him.
~They catch up to Bam~
Haru: Hey Bam, wanna be friends?
Bam: Why do you wanna be friends with me?
Haru: Well your a human too right?
Bam: HA, I am very much a human and sure I'll consider being your friend.
Ryu: Cool!
~Bam leaves~
Ryu: Why did he just go through a bush?
Haru: Don't look at me!
Ryu: Well look at the time I better head home!
Haru: But you don't have a watch.
Ryu: Don't ruin the moment!
Haru: Well, later!
Ryu: Later!
~At Ryu's House~
Ryu: Hey Mom I'm home!
Mom: Why did you come so late it's already 4:55.
Ryu: School is 7 hours so 9:00 to 3:00 then I took another 1 hour to build a bey then I had a 20 minute battle with Haru then a kid at school came to battle me and we had a 30-minute battle and it took me 5 minutes to get home and if you add all that up it makes 4:55.
Mom: Oh!
Ryu: I'm heading gonna take a nap.
~In Ryu's Room~
Ryu: What a day.
(Ryu falls on his bed)
Wicked! (I had to, but seriously that was a nice chapter, grammar seems ok, it's missing some dots and commas tho.(by dots and commas I mean , and . (Just to make sure)))
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:10 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 2!!
Monster King! Wicked Batik!
Ryu: What are you doing here?
Bully 1: I have a name you know.
Haru: What is it?
Bam: It's Bam! And Batik wants a strong opponent
Ryu: We can take you!
Bam: Sure kid, keep dreaming.
Haru: So are you guys gonna battle?
Ryu: Yeah I'm gonna battle this guy! Storm Remix can take him!
Bam: Sure! Prepare to lose!
Haru: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Bam (Mind): Hm Storm Remix, An attack type with no bounds hmm And SS bey, not to mention those 3 blades seem sharp so once in sword mode it's almost an unstoppable force so if I want to burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it before it goes in sword mode let's hope he doesn't know how to enter sword mode yet.
Ryu (Mind): Wicked Batik a balance type, the blades aren't too sharp so I'm gonna need to make this nice and cool!
Haru: First battle, Ready? Set!
Ryu & Bam: 3! 2! 1! Let it rip--
(Bam does a cartwheel)
(Bam pulls off a storm launch)
Ryu (Mind): Still no storm launch.
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik starts charging at Remix)
Ryu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
(Remix doges just in time)
Ryu: Storm point breaker!
(Remix starts going crazy)
Bam: Don't use moves that you can't control! Wicked Saber again!
(Batik zooms into Remix)
Ryu: Reverse!
(Remix slides out of the way and starts attacking from the back)
Bam (Mind): Well what do you know this kid got talent.
Bam: Tricking but how you like this!
(Batik switches into Defense)
(Remix gets blown back)
Bam: Take the center!
Haru: Woah Bam has a nice strategy.
Ryu: Whose side are you on?
Haru: No ones!
Ryu: Alright, We still have one more trick! Hollow storm!
(Wind of all sorts starts circling Remix)
Bam (Mind): What is this?
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik charges at Remix but gets blown away)
(Batik burst)
Bam: ...
Haru: It's a burst finish, Ryu Hoai wins!
Haru: Great going pal, it seems like Batik must have hit the rail of the stadium and it was too hard for it to handle.
(Bam walks away)
Ryu: Nice!
Haru: I almost feel bad for him.
Ryu: You can leave him he's just a bully.
Haru: But he has a heart too!
Ryu: Fine, we can go after him.
~They catch up to Bam~
Haru: Hey Bam, wanna be friends?
Bam: Why do you wanna be friends with me?
Haru: Well your a human too right?
Bam: HA, I am very much a human and sure I'll consider being your friend.
Ryu: Cool!
~Bam leaves~
Ryu: Why did he just go through a bush?
Haru: Don't look at me!
Ryu: Well look at the time I better head home!
Haru: But you don't have a watch.
Ryu: Don't ruin the moment!
Haru: Well, later!
Ryu: Later!
~At Ryu's House~
Ryu: Hey Mom I'm home!
Mom: Why did you come so late it's already 4:55.
Ryu: School is 7 hours so 9:00 to 3:00 then I took another 1 hour to build a bey then I had a 20 minute battle with Haru then a kid at school came to battle me and we had a 30-minute battle and it took me 5 minutes to get home and if you add all that up it makes 4:55.
Mom: Oh!
Ryu: I'm heading gonna take a nap.
~In Ryu's Room~
Ryu: What a day.
(Ryu falls on his bed)
nice job! im too lazy to rate rn but this is going gud!
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:17 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 11:10 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 2!!
Monster King! Wicked Batik!
Ryu: What are you doing here?
Bully 1: I have a name you know.
Haru: What is it?
Bam: It's Bam! And Batik wants a strong opponent
Ryu: We can take you!
Bam: Sure kid, keep dreaming.
Haru: So are you guys gonna battle?
Ryu: Yeah I'm gonna battle this guy! Storm Remix can take him!
Bam: Sure! Prepare to lose!
Haru: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Bam (Mind): Hm Storm Remix, An attack type with no bounds hmm And SS bey, not to mention those 3 blades seem sharp so once in sword mode it's almost an unstoppable force so if I want to burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it before it goes in sword mode let's hope he doesn't know how to enter sword mode yet.
Ryu (Mind): Wicked Batik a balance type, the blades aren't too sharp so I'm gonna need to make this nice and cool!
Haru: First battle, Ready? Set!
Ryu & Bam: 3! 2! 1! Let it rip--
(Bam does a cartwheel)
(Bam pulls off a storm launch)
Ryu (Mind): Still no storm launch.
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik starts charging at Remix)
Ryu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
(Remix doges just in time)
Ryu: Storm point breaker!
(Remix starts going crazy)
Bam: Don't use moves that you can't control! Wicked Saber again!
(Batik zooms into Remix)
Ryu: Reverse!
(Remix slides out of the way and starts attacking from the back)
Bam (Mind): Well what do you know this kid got talent.
Bam: Tricking but how you like this!
(Batik switches into Defense)
(Remix gets blown back)
Bam: Take the center!
Haru: Woah Bam has a nice strategy.
Ryu: Whose side are you on?
Haru: No ones!
Ryu: Alright, We still have one more trick! Hollow storm!
(Wind of all sorts starts circling Remix)
Bam (Mind): What is this?
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik charges at Remix but gets blown away)
(Batik burst)
Bam: ...
Haru: It's a burst finish, Ryu Hoai wins!
Haru: Great going pal, it seems like Batik must have hit the rail of the stadium and it was too hard for it to handle.
(Bam walks away)
Ryu: Nice!
Haru: I almost feel bad for him.
Ryu: You can leave him he's just a bully.
Haru: But he has a heart too!
Ryu: Fine, we can go after him.
~They catch up to Bam~
Haru: Hey Bam, wanna be friends?
Bam: Why do you wanna be friends with me?
Haru: Well your a human too right?
Bam: HA, I am very much a human and sure I'll consider being your friend.
Ryu: Cool!
~Bam leaves~
Ryu: Why did he just go through a bush?
Haru: Don't look at me!
Ryu: Well look at the time I better head home!
Haru: But you don't have a watch.
Ryu: Don't ruin the moment!
Haru: Well, later!
Ryu: Later!
~At Ryu's House~
Ryu: Hey Mom I'm home!
Mom: Why did you come so late it's already 4:55.
Ryu: School is 7 hours so 9:00 to 3:00 then I took another 1 hour to build a bey then I had a 20 minute battle with Haru then a kid at school came to battle me and we had a 30-minute battle and it took me 5 minutes to get home and if you add all that up it makes 4:55.
Mom: Oh!
Ryu: I'm heading gonna take a nap.
~In Ryu's Room~
Ryu: What a day.
(Ryu falls on his bed)
Wicked! (I had to, but seriously that was a nice chapter, grammar seems ok, it's missing some dots and commas tho.(by dots and commas I mean , and . (Just to make sure)))
I know what those means but thanks for your feedback
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:17 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 11:10 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 2!!
Monster King! Wicked Batik!
Ryu: What are you doing here?
Bully 1: I have a name you know.
Haru: What is it?
Bam: It's Bam! And Batik wants a strong opponent
Ryu: We can take you!
Bam: Sure kid, keep dreaming.
Haru: So are you guys gonna battle?
Ryu: Yeah I'm gonna battle this guy! Storm Remix can take him!
Bam: Sure! Prepare to lose!
Haru: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Bam (Mind): Hm Storm Remix, An attack type with no bounds hmm And SS bey, not to mention those 3 blades seem sharp so once in sword mode it's almost an unstoppable force so if I want to burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it before it goes in sword mode let's hope he doesn't know how to enter sword mode yet.
Ryu (Mind): Wicked Batik a balance type, the blades aren't too sharp so I'm gonna need to make this nice and cool!
Haru: First battle, Ready? Set!
Ryu & Bam: 3! 2! 1! Let it rip--
(Bam does a cartwheel)
(Bam pulls off a storm launch)
Ryu (Mind): Still no storm launch.
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik starts charging at Remix)
Ryu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
(Remix doges just in time)
Ryu: Storm point breaker!
(Remix starts going crazy)
Bam: Don't use moves that you can't control! Wicked Saber again!
(Batik zooms into Remix)
Ryu: Reverse!
(Remix slides out of the way and starts attacking from the back)
Bam (Mind): Well what do you know this kid got talent.
Bam: Tricking but how you like this!
(Batik switches into Defense)
(Remix gets blown back)
Bam: Take the center!
Haru: Woah Bam has a nice strategy.
Ryu: Whose side are you on?
Haru: No ones!
Ryu: Alright, We still have one more trick! Hollow storm!
(Wind of all sorts starts circling Remix)
Bam (Mind): What is this?
Bam: Wicked Saber!
(Batik charges at Remix but gets blown away)
(Batik burst)
Bam: ...
Haru: It's a burst finish, Ryu Hoai wins!
Haru: Great going pal, it seems like Batik must have hit the rail of the stadium and it was too hard for it to handle.
(Bam walks away)
Ryu: Nice!
Haru: I almost feel bad for him.
Ryu: You can leave him he's just a bully.
Haru: But he has a heart too!
Ryu: Fine, we can go after him.
~They catch up to Bam~
Haru: Hey Bam, wanna be friends?
Bam: Why do you wanna be friends with me?
Haru: Well your a human too right?
Bam: HA, I am very much a human and sure I'll consider being your friend.
Ryu: Cool!
~Bam leaves~
Ryu: Why did he just go through a bush?
Haru: Don't look at me!
Ryu: Well look at the time I better head home!
Haru: But you don't have a watch.
Ryu: Don't ruin the moment!
Haru: Well, later!
Ryu: Later!
~At Ryu's House~
Ryu: Hey Mom I'm home!
Mom: Why did you come so late it's already 4:55.
Ryu: School is 7 hours so 9:00 to 3:00 then I took another 1 hour to build a bey then I had a 20 minute battle with Haru then a kid at school came to battle me and we had a 30-minute battle and it took me 5 minutes to get home and if you add all that up it makes 4:55.
Mom: Oh!
Ryu: I'm heading gonna take a nap.
~In Ryu's Room~
Ryu: What a day.
(Ryu falls on his bed)
nice job! im too lazy to rate rn but this is going gud!
Thanks
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:18 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 11:17 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ]Wicked! (I had to, but seriously that was a nice chapter, grammar seems ok, it's missing some dots and commas tho.(by dots and commas I mean , and . (Just to make sure)))
I know what those means but thanks for your feedback
Are you gonna have a character contest soon?
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:19 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 11:18 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ]I know what those means but thanks for your feedback
Are you gonna have a character contest soon?
Maybe for the tournament Oop I said to much *winks*
Remix’s avater:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=http...Rx6BAgAEAw
Aoi01” I will be having a character Contest!!! The winners will be announce on July 17 Good luck to all
(Jul. 12, 2021 11:19 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: [ -> ] (Jul. 12, 2021 11:19 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: [ -> ]Are you gonna have a character contest soon?
Maybe for the tournament Oop I said to much *winks*
Remix’s avater: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=http...Rx6BAgAEAw
Aoi01” I will be having a character Contest!!! The winners will be announce on July 17 Good luck to all
Yeah I will join, but I need time to think of a character
I'll be doing it
Character: Danny King
Beyblade: Delusion Nova
Personality: Acts like he's a king so his parents made his last name King.
Appearance: Has blue hair that's normal, wears white shoes, blue shirt, and black jacket.
Moves: Delusion Counter, Nexus Nightmare, Delusion Strike, Delusion Slash, and Delusion Dive