[Fan Fiction]  Beyblade Burst SK Drive/Cyber Force

Right after the events of Beyblade Burst Sparking after suffering from losing his Dad, Dax(sues) Akagami devotes himself to evil and Darkness but will a Burned Out Star stop him in his way or will he eventually become corrupted by Darkness from a point of no return and destroy the Blading World as the Legends know it.

Emotions are a big part in life, but what if we didn't have them? Well, Rensuke Kageyama, a rising Blader in the New Generation believes this and calls himself the Emotionless One. Will his life be one boring cycle or will he be able to find himself and surpass everybody in the World becoming the World Champion? 

My Wattpad: UnseenBurst - Wattpad
BeyFics Discord Server: https://discord.gg/pXStvvddsh
Chapter 1
Interesting, dual main characters, (hyuga and hikaru 2.0)

Also, cool name
(Aug. 07, 2021  9:08 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: 1 Year after the events of Beyblade Burst DB, Two Twin Brothers set out to become the strongest Bladers in the world, one brother full of darkness, and the other, full of light, they both repel each other, but, they both have the same goals and dreams, will they be able to become the strongest, or will their differences pull them apart.  I've got a schedule planned to keep track of these fanfictions on my other ones!

Chapter 1

A schedule, more organized than me already.

Anyways let's see how it goes
This just sounds like Sparking but with Lain replacing Hikaru.

It’s quite rushed and cramped. Perhaps put more detail into it.
(Aug. 07, 2021  9:55 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: This just sounds like Sparking but with Lain replacing Hikaru.

It’s quite rushed and cramped. Perhaps put more detail into it.

Ok, I'll try it, I really appreciate your feedback! Also, have fun at your event Smile
(Aug. 07, 2021  9:58 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 07, 2021  9:55 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: This just sounds like Sparking but with Lain replacing Hikaru.

It’s quite rushed and cramped. Perhaps put more detail into it.

Ok, I'll try it, I really appreciate your feedback! Also, have fun at your event Smile

Oh we already finished. 

But thanks anyways, I’ll pop back in here every once in a while to see how it’s going
Nice! I look forward to it!
Cool, would be nice if you explained the systems. Also it does seem rushed, especially the battles. (I have the same problem…)
this was a great introductory episode

it does seem a bit rushed but everyone makes mistakes (especially me)

other than that, nice job!!
Yang System
Yin System
(Aug. 07, 2021  11:01 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Yang System
Yin System

this system is awesome!! im looking forward to future episodes as well!!
2 Systems???? Dang! you know Adrian I used to be just like you--- I've said to much.... Great chapter!
Forgot to mention Wally's last name
Yeah, I know, it's pretty obvious what Bey he's gonna own soon.
Ah, Wyvern?
(Aug. 07, 2021  11:17 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Ah, Wyvern?
I can't recognise the surname but since he has a "W" name, probably yes
(Aug. 07, 2021  11:19 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:
(Aug. 07, 2021  11:17 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Ah, Wyvern?
I can't recognise the surname but since he has a "W" name, probably yes

His last same is the Japanese version of Wakiyas Dub last name
Huh Character contest? Please… I want an excuse to make a ton and yang bey.
i cant wait for a new wyvern evolution! (if we get one)!
You guys probably think Adrian's a heartless Anti Hero but actually, fun fact; Adrian cares about his little brother Austin more than anything in the world, he'd give his life for him, you'll see more of this in later chapters.
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:05 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: You guys probably think Adrian's a heartless Anti Hero but actually, fun fact; Adrian cares about his little brother Austin more than anything in the world, he'd give his life for him, you'll see more of this in later chapters.

i wish my siblings acted like that
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:07 AM)GenesisBlader Wrote:
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:05 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: You guys probably think Adrian's a heartless Anti Hero but actually, fun fact; Adrian cares about his little brother Austin more than anything in the world, he'd give his life for him, you'll see more of this in later chapters.

i wish my siblings acted like that
You're not alone Adrian looks like an older brother, seems heartless but actually cares about people.
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:10 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:07 AM)GenesisBlader Wrote: i wish my siblings acted like that
You're not alone Adrian looks like an older brother, seems heartless but actually cares about people.

Adrian's 5 Minutes Older then Austin, by some how, Adrian's growing taller.
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:23 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:10 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: You're not alone Adrian looks like an older brother, seems heartless but actually cares about people.

Adrian's 5 Minutes Older then Austin, by some how, Adrian's growing taller.

After reading how Adrien can be rude I don’t want a twin anymore but I do want a cousin the
At looks like me tho….
Would you like for me to make you a theme song?
(Aug. 08, 2021  12:51 AM)GenesisBlader Wrote: Would you like for me to make you a theme song?

Yes please, I'd very much like that.