[Fan Fiction]  Beyblade Burst: Rise of New Heroes

I've started writing fan fiction again, despite my last one being really bad.
Prologue (I've changed the writing style since I've wrote this.)
I'm now working with BuilderROB on this one! The system for the series will be revealed very soon.
Edit: As of 04/07/2022, the series is officially done. After losing everything in a hard drive replacement, I lost the urge to continue, as I lost everything from the plot, characters, list of Beyblades, chapter names, to even several chapters I had pre-written.
I can’t wait to see where this story goes! I will probably be keeping up with this fan fiction.
(Aug. 01, 2020  6:03 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: I can’t wait to see where this story goes! I will probably be keeping up with this fan fiction.

It's going to get very interesting.
If anyone wants plot spoilers, PM me.
Very awesome.

Which one is the main character? Corbin or Orlando? Or both?
(Aug. 01, 2020  6:39 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Very awesome.

Which one is the main character? Corbin or Orlando? Or both?

Both. Something similar to Hyuga and Hikaru. Smile
Looks really good so far, definitely gonna follow this story!

Beyblade Burst: Rise of New Heroes Chapter 1: Balance! Hyper Chrysus!

(Aug. 15, 2020  6:01 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Rise of New Heroes Chapter 1: Balance! Hyper Chrysus!


Great chapter! I am gonna have to look up who the mysterious figure is. Anyways, excited for the next chapter.
Amazing! I am looking forward to the next chapters!
(Aug. 15, 2020  6:01 PM)#Fafnir Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Rise of New Heroes Chapter 1: Balance! Hyper Chrysus!

I has figured out who this mystery person is mwahaha
So #Fafnir and I decided we were gonna do this series together. I am excited to work with #Fafnir on this fan fiction.
Since lilphilyb is not very active anymore, I have decided to become the new story critic. Let me know what you guys think of this review:

Grammar: 4.5/5
Story: 4/5
Characters: 4/5
Dialogue: 4.5/5
Length: 5/5

Total Score 22/25

This story is good so far. I like the characters, specifically Corbin’s constant yelling was funny and Orlando having to correct him. I’m hoping Corbin isn’t too similar to a Valt character and that he does something original with his character. Same with Orlando. I’m hoping he becomes his own unique character and not TOO much like Shu. Grammar is great, and the length is great as well. The dialogue is also good, however the all caps is a bit unprofessional for a story in my opinion, hence why I took off a point.

Overall, I recommend this story, and am looking forward to more of the chapters.

@ me if you want me to review your fan fiction.
Okay, seriously guys, we need to get the WBO fanfic community together to decide on the story critic(s).

I think I’d give it:
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Grammar: 4.5/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Story: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Characters: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dialogue: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Length: 4.8/5[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Total Score: 21.3/25.[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Basically the same score lol. Also, shouldn’t the point you took off in dialogue be taken off in grammar? [/font]
(Aug. 20, 2020  12:11 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Okay, seriously guys, we need to get the WBO fanfic community together to decide on the story critic(s).

I think I’d give it:
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Grammar: 4.5/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Story: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Characters: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Dialogue: 4/5[/font]
[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Length: 4.8/5[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Total Score: 21.3/25.[/font]

[font="Source Sans Pro", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Basically the same score lol. Also, shouldn’t the point you took off in dialogue be taken off in grammar? [/font]

Maybe I’ll just take a half off for grammar and dialogue, since technically it’s wrong.
Story critic 3
i'd give this one:
Grammar: 4.5/5
Story:4/5
characters: 4/ 5
dialogue:4/5
length:5/5
Total: 22.5

Overall pretty darn great fanfic
(Nov. 12, 2020  9:57 PM)EarthHelios Wrote: This fanfic is pretty good

almost necroposting. almost.
(Nov. 12, 2020  10:14 PM)The Blacknight Wrote:
(Nov. 12, 2020  9:57 PM)EarthHelios Wrote: This fanfic is pretty good

almost necroposting. almost.

RIght sorry