World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

[Fan Fiction]  Beyblade Burst: Burst Ultimate (Fan-Story) (Cancelled until further notice)

Apr. 25, 2022  5:34 AM
 
MasterofDerp even though you were trying to give Constructive Criticism but that was Extremely Harsh. I'll admit, breaking Raphael and defeating Bell and Divine Belial with a Burst Finish was a bit crazy and I still agree with you that this shouldn't have happened but there are so many nicer ways you could've said this. Writing fanfiction is hard and not the easiest thing, as a Fellow Fanfiction Writer, I can definitely agree with this. If I got a hurtful comment like this, it would really sting. This is DZ's Fanfiction so it may not be perfect but I can see the effort and time that goes into it. Next time when giving Constructive Cristisim try being serious but not too straight up rude.

Overall these first couple of Chapters has been pretty good. Divine Belial seems really Powerful and the way that Bell created it was really cool. I liked the fact that Bell's Power Levels are around what they've shown in the Anime. I feel like Ranzo and Basara aren't as important anymore so that's one complaint I have. Chiyoh is a Cool Name and a Cool Person. I feel like he'll make a Really Good Antagonist and I'm looking forward to seeing him go to the Dark Side if Y'know what I mean. Anyways so far this Series is Really Good, it was very minimal flaws that aren't that big but still flaws nonetheless. I'm impressed and am always being inspired by you to continue writing and becoming better. So far this series deserves a solid 5.2/10. I know it's not high but the series just started and a 5.2 can always be improved. Remember, there is always room for improvement!
Apr. 25, 2022  9:07 AM
 
It would be good if the antagonists bey is Stamina type because Belial is Attack Type and Stamina>Attack.
Apr. 25, 2022  10:12 AM
 
So I've read the two chapters in question just now and apparently Chiyoh is a character with resonance issues (they can't control it), which makes she use too much power accidentally. To put it simple: "OP powers and no control" trope. They just never resonated and this remained under the radar until this all happened I suppose. It seems about right in this fic, at least for me.
.
As for the combo change, I respect the decision. With that said, Savior Perceus is one of those beys that would be funny on anime/fic because it is a stationary attack (something the meta kindly wiped out of everyone's heads). So a heavy hitter that has loads of stamina seems like a good thing to have for a overpowered character (and I guess Bearing can run around a little, so there is that). Would also explain why she needed the resonance to start destroying everyone, without it Perceus is just a glass Cannon without gunpowder. (Should probably mention Savior Perceus Giga Bearing' -3 is balance, not stamina or attack.)
.
As I said before, I respect your decision because it is your fic and Savior is too recoily for Bearing' irl. Although Venture isn't the best choice for it (I would have used a rubber flat or maybe Hold' to reference Bearing'), it is what it is, your fic, not mine.
Apr. 26, 2022  2:12 AM
 
(Apr. 25, 2022  5:34 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: MasterofDerp even though you were trying to give Constructive Criticism but that was Extremely Harsh. I'll admit, breaking Raphael and defeating Bell and Divine Belial with a Burst Finish was a bit crazy and I still agree with you that this shouldn't have happened but there are so many nicer ways you could've said this. Writing fanfiction is hard and not the easiest thing, as a Fellow Fanfiction Writer, I can definitely agree with this. If I got a hurtful comment like this, it would really sting. This is DZ's Fanfiction so it may not be perfect but I can see the effort and time that goes into it. Next time when giving Constructive Cristisim try being serious but not too straight up rude.

Overall these first couple of Chapters has been pretty good. Divine Belial seems really Powerful and the way that Bell created it was really cool. I liked the fact that Bell's Power Levels are around what they've shown in the Anime. I feel like Ranzo and Basara aren't as important anymore so that's one complaint I have. Chiyoh is a Cool Name and a Cool Person. I feel like he'll make a Really Good Antagonist and I'm looking forward to seeing him go to the Dark Side if Y'know what I mean. Anyways so far this Series is Really Good, it was very minimal flaws that aren't that big but still flaws nonetheless. I'm impressed and am always being inspired by you to continue writing and becoming better. So far this series deserves a solid 5.2/10. I know it's not high but the series just started and a 5.2 can always be improved. Remember, there is always room for improvement!

Not all reviews are soft and considerate, he's just being straight to the point. These types of reviews shouldn't hurt you in any way, but tell you that you've screwed up on your story and you need to improve it. That's all there is to it, in fact, I'd appreciate it if someone like this was gave an honest review on my fics because it allows me to push myself to become better and prevent past mistakes from occurring.
Apr. 26, 2022  2:48 AM
 
Personally i'm not bothered by negative reviews, i encourage readers who consider reading to provide feedback positive or negative even if i don't agree with them. Most of the time i don't listen to criticism mainly because i want to write the story the way i want to write it and even if people don't like it, i expect them to understand that.

All in all, i don't want drama or any kind of fights to happen here as i do not tolerate it even for someone who's not a mod, i just don't have the patience and time to deal with people like that and i don't care who it is, verbal fights in my story threads are not tolerated.

Again, i don't really care so much about the negative reviews, it's great to read them and hear their feedback but in the end, this is really my story and i intend to write it the way i want to, negative review or not. I'm going to go ahead and make this clear, i don't write for the fame or clout, i write to create an outlet from my tough life and it allows to explore my mind and write my ideas out for anyone who will care, that is how i view my writing, not just for this story but for all my stories.

I don't think this conversation needs to go on any longer so i'll leave it at that, any further attempts to bring the topic up again will be ignored.

~ Sincerely, DeltaZakuro

Did i just pull a WBO kid moment? oh my god-!
Apr. 28, 2022  3:29 AM
 
Beyblade Burst BU Episode 6: Explosion! Bomber And Hero!!
https://www.wattpad.com/1218795496-beybl...-episode-6
Apr. 28, 2022  3:39 PM
 
………….. Massive improvement!

It was good to get a better expansion on Chiyoh’s personality, and an overall expansion of her overall origins. While I do still have some gripes, they have lessened slightly, which is definitely good.

I loved the talk between Rashad and Basara. It remained truthful to the characters and it was an overall good character development moment.

My main gripe with this chapter is Kensuke’s sudden appearance. While I am hyped as hell to see Kerbeus in action, his appearance appeared slightly jammed in and a bit out of place, though this is minor and my hype hasn’t died down.

8/10. Massive improvement compared to the previous two chapters. My hype is returning.
Apr. 28, 2022  4:24 PM
 
Episode 7 - "Perfect Gear! Bell VS Rashad!!" Will be the last episode until the full details of Chain Kerbeus are revealed by the Corocoro because the following episode will be its Debut Episode. The same will occur with Ep.12 (Dragon), Ep.15 (Xcalibur) and Ep.19 (Achilles).
Apr. 29, 2022  5:05 AM
 
Beyblade Burst BU Episode 7: Perfect Gear! Bell VS Rashad!!
https://www.wattpad.com/1219880908-beybl...-7-perfect
Apr. 29, 2022  5:11 PM
 
Coming Bey descriptions coming
Arrow Griffin.Ov.Br'-6
Detonation Belial.Cn'-4 (Tentative)
The Winged Beast: Arrow Griffin.Giga.Bearing'-6

Arrow Blade (Ar)
a Right Spin DB Blade which is basically just the Heaven GT Base ported over to a DB Blade. The gimmick of the blade is that it has metal infused into the blade for improved stamina and OWD which in theory should provide the most amount of stamina possible.

Griffin Core (GR)
A Horizontal Right Spin DB Core with a Griffin Motif, a winged beast! The cores design looks about as close to the Dragon1 GT Chip but with the colors of the Pegasus GT Chip, the cores outer frame is Gold, the core has no teeth but rubber stoppers akin to the Bahamut Core.

6 Armor (+/-6)

Giga Disk (Gg)

Bearing' Driver (Br')

Owner: Gigi Ishikawa
May. 03, 2022  12:57 AM
 
Announcement: Kerbeus's debut episode has been pushed back to Ep.9 instead of Ep.8. Next Episode will focus more on Bell and Chiyoh's relationship and rivalry.

Ep.8 has been renamed to "Shining Rivalry! Perseus's Persistance!!"
May. 04, 2022  11:21 PM
 
Chiyoh's Full Backstory (Some Spoilers ahead)
Spoiler (Click to View)
May. 06, 2022  1:58 AM
 
Beyblade Burst BU Episode 8: Shining Rivalry! Perseus's Persistence!!
https://www.wattpad.com/1220230668-beybl...-8-shining
May. 06, 2022  2:02 PM
 
(Apr. 18, 2022  3:14 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:
(Apr. 18, 2022  2:40 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: So this has been on my list for a little while now and since there is no anime for Beyblade Burst: Burst Ultimate, i have decided to go the extra mile and write my own. Story Of Lanes Sister will finish this month as of this post being made and Angels and Star Ignition are currently on hold for a while until i find out better ideas for those stories, but without further ado, here is Beyblade Burst: BU.
Set directly after the events of Dynamite Battle, 5 pieces of a mysterious Star Fragment fall from the skies and it lands in different locations across the blading district of Japan and evolves a bladers bey.. One of these bladers being Bell Daikokuten and his Dangerous Belial which then evolves into Divine Belial, the apparent Ultimate Demon King Bey! With more legends rising up to the challenge with their new beys, the new age of Burst Ultimate is here!

Spoiler (Click to View)
Original Release Date was August 2022, new Release date is April 23rd, 2022

So Bell is still going to be the Main Character?

nice, metal fury style?
May. 06, 2022  2:30 PM
 
Official Coming Episodes

Episode 9: Guard Dog Of Hell! Chain Kerbeus!!
Episode 10: Counterattack! Belial's Resolve!!
Episode 11: Legendary Clash! Valt VS Kensuke!!
Episode 12: GT! Gatling Dragon!!
Episode 13: Rainbow! D-Gear!!
Episode 14: Legendary Burst! Bell VS Drum!!
Episode 15: Explosive Sword! The Fiery Xcalibur!! (Tentative)
Episode 16: The Explosive Strike! Ultimate Impact!!
(May. 06, 2022  2:02 PM)Burn87 Wrote:
(Apr. 18, 2022  3:14 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote: So Bell is still going to be the Main Character?

nice, metal fury style?

In some aspects, yes.
May. 14, 2022  4:07 PM
 
Beyblade Burst BU Episode 9: Guardian Of The Underworld! Chain Kerbeus!!
https://www.wattpad.com/1222727003-beybl...-episode-9
May. 23, 2022  2:07 AM
 
UPDATE: The Series will be on hold until August 23rd, 2022.

I confirm there will also be a 2nd Season of BU featuring releases going from B203-B206 + Fanmade evolutions
Jun. 19, 2022  6:05 AM
 
For Season 2, there is a list of Bladers that will not return and Season 1 will be the last we see of them.

- Free (Will make small cameos here and there but will have a severely cut role)
- Lui (Same as Free)
- Payne
- Ilya? (An Ifrit evo for Season 2 is being considered but still unsure.)
- Kensuke (Kensuke doesn't contribute much to the story after his arc is done, its best to let him go after this season)
Season 1 will also continue as planned on August 23rd, 2022
Jun. 24, 2022  1:18 PM
 
(Apr. 18, 2022  2:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Episodes 1-51
Spoiler (Click to View)
Season 2 Episodes 1-5
Spoiler (Click to View)
when will the burst ultimate anime come out yet
Jun. 24, 2022  3:06 PM
 
(Jun. 24, 2022  1:18 PM)Doubledealer Wrote:
(Apr. 18, 2022  2:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Episodes 1-51
Spoiler (Click to View)
Season 2 Episodes 1-5
Spoiler (Click to View)
when will the burst ultimate anime come out yet
.
It was confirmed quite a while ago that there will be not a BU anime. This thread is just a fic around BU
Jun. 24, 2022  3:26 PM
 
(Jun. 24, 2022  3:06 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: .
It was confirmed quite a while ago that there will be not a BU anime. This thread is just a fic around BU
 They might suprise us with a bu anime that they’ve been keeping secret 
Jun. 24, 2022  3:29 PM
 
(Apr. 18, 2022  2:40 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: So this has been on my list for a little while now and since there is no anime for Beyblade Burst: Burst Ultimate, i have decided to go the extra mile and write my own. Story Of Lanes Sister will finish this month as of this post being made and Angels and Star Ignition are currently on hold for a while until i find out better ideas for those stories, but without further ado, here is Beyblade Burst: BU.
Set directly after the events of Dynamite Battle, 5 pieces of a mysterious Star Fragment fall from the skies and it lands in different locations across the blading district of Japan and evolves a bladers bey.. One of these bladers being Bell Daikokuten and his Dangerous Belial which then evolves into Divine Belial, the apparent Ultimate Demon King Bey! With more legends rising up to the challenge with their new beys, the new age of Burst Ultimate is here!

Spoiler (Click to View)
Original Release Date was August 2022, new Release date is April 18th, 2022
Season 2?
Spoiler (Click to View)

Where's my Ryuga?
Jul. 15, 2022  3:53 AM
 
Return date has been pushed back to September 4th.
(Jun. 24, 2022  1:18 PM)Doubledealer Wrote:
(Apr. 18, 2022  2:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Episodes 1-51
Spoiler (Click to View)
Season 2 Episodes 1-5
Spoiler (Click to View)
when will the burst ultimate anime come out yet

No Anime, only Fanfiction.
Aug. 08, 2022  3:59 PM
 
Do you have Gatling Dragon’s moves picked out yet?
Aug. 09, 2022  11:33 PM
 
(Aug. 08, 2022  3:59 PM)TitanDragon Wrote: Do you have Gatling Dragon’s moves picked out yet?

Yes. Same for Xiphoid and Zest, Knight is now being worked on.

Dragon: Gatling Bound, Dragon Shoot, Gatling Snap

Xcalibur: Xiphoid Impact (Unaligned), Ultimate Impact (Sword extended and Disk aligned)

Achilles: Zest Slash, Zest Defense, Zest Upper, Zest Smash, Zest Buster, Zest Flash

Knight: Coming soon
Prev
Page 2
Next