no it cant end

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ygo fan if you wanna internet dual me check my story for a ygo game online

don't worry, i might do a sequel, either that or an even better digimon one...

I have decided to set up a poll for if i should do a digimon or beyblade one and will put a prievew of each one, get ready to vote!

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ok so this is the sequel preview:

It had been so long since the fight, the fight had been a changing moment for everyone. Everyone had been involved in the fight, even without knowing. The fight literally changed the world. But even now, the fight was still going on, but not visible to Xero's or any of the teams eyes. Only one person could stop the fight, and he had left a long time ago, in a time of great need he walked away. Xero looked into the star strung sky and shouted "Arix Dranity you better get your lazy carp back here!"

Medabot preview:

A loud snoring came from the bedroom, the bedroom of Rio, a medabot fighter, sort of, not really, the only thing stopping him from being the champion in his eyes was the fact he didin't actually have a medabot. Bit of a let down, but on the 16th April, today, he might have a chance of getting one, after all, it was his birthday... As he walked down the stairs he noticed a shadow in the corner of the room, he screamed then sighed it was a giant box... wait no! not just a box! A medabot box! he rushed down the stairs (fell might be a better word) and read the name on the box: KNIGHT-Mare (model XXX-21-421) his dream medabot. "Lets go kick some butt KNIGHT-mare!" Rio said. "Nah, i'm too tired..." replied the box.

Digimon preview:

Darkness. It had never knew darkness could be so well, dark...

"whowhatwhenwherewhy!?" Jolted Yamashi as he awoke from his dream. He was at school. The last one out again.

As he strolled from the school grounds he thought he saw static form then dissipate. Probably flies, not static. Then he heard screaming, he ran off in the direction of the sound. He couldn't believe what he saw. Right infront of him was a ball of light. Just hovering there. Then it started to move away. He walked slowly after it. It seemed to get brighter and brighter until they reached the middle of the park, then a storm appered above them. He could see what he thought was numbers behind the clouds. Numbers? What was going on? Then lightning. flashes arced through the sky and then joined together in a cloud slightly in front of Yamashi. And then the bolt fell to the ground in a clap and flash of light. then the light started forming a reptile shape on two legs. Yamashi could see a bright blue eye on the top. then the light disappeared leaving a purple reptile with yellow markings. "Hello!" it said. Yamshi could only wonder what he had got himself into...


those are the choices now say which you want and i will count up the posts!

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OK, you wanted me to review your story? Here:

1. You seem to not capitalize your first letter at the beginning of sentences. Remember to do that.

2. The content of the story itself is great, but it seems a little rushed. As in, the story moves from one scene to another. Even if it feels too long, it's probably still too short and you should describe it more.

3. Remember to skip a line every time you switch between two different dialogue's (As in- if you're switching who's talking, skip a line). It'll make your story look cleaner.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

yeah i do that sometimes, if you want to know why itseems rushed, here we go:

i have, soccer club, drawings to do for people, homework, training for soccer, archery club, and sleep, so yeah some of the times when i had writers block i tried to just fill it in cause people really wanted a new chapter.

also grammar wasn't ever my best work, but thanks for that

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yeah i do that sometimes, if you want to know why itseems rushed, here we go:

i have, soccer club, drawings to do for people, homework, training for soccer, archery club, and sleep, so yeah some of the times when i had writers block i tried to just fill it in cause people really wanted a new chapter.

also grammar wasn't ever my best work, but thanks for that

I have swimming, diving, golf, piano, guitar, homework, writing, GFX shop, eating and sleep. That's no excuse for rushing, if you get my drift.

Even if you have to rush it, maybe when you find some downtime you go back edit your chapters? Just a suggestion.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

hhhm, yeah i agree, with you about the rushing time, but generally i'm too tired to write adequate chapters but i don't wanna let people down you know? also i would edit it but not many people read this anymore

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hey great story.. but in the intro it is written in first person, but then it changes to 3rd person. good job though

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Spoiler (Click to View)

GFX SHOP

yeah it's meant to be like that, where it changes person.

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