Chapter one:

Spoiler (Click to View)

Cyo was a boy with brown hair, green eyes, and he had a black tank top and blue jeans, he also had black shoes. Cyo woke up one morning and grabbed his bey, Libra BD145WD. He ate a pancake and walked out the door. He rode his red bike through the forest and then, a little kid with orange hair and brown eyes jumped in front of him. He grabbed out a green string launcher and grip and a put a beyblade into it. "I challenge you to a battle!" the boy said. "Only if you dont mind getting beat!" said Cyo. Cyo took out a blue rev-up launcher and a blue grip. He put Libra into the launcher. 3! 2! 1! GO SHOOT!!!

i plan on writing more. i hope you like it!

Good story want to read it again but when are the other one gonna come out plz tell me when so i can read them all

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Want sprites like in my sig click here (Star Fox not included)
Trash music here
Dragon

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Chapter 2:

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The beys were spinning. The opponents bey looked like Meteo Perseus LW105R2F. "Lets finish now!" the boy said. "Perseus!, SPECIAL MOVE!, METEOR SHOWER ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Not if i can help it!" Cyo said. "Libra, special move! Killer Sand Tornado"the tornado of sand got bigger and bigger. Then meteors startied falling from the sky! The meteor destroyed the tornado. "Libra dodge the meteors!" yelled Cyo. Libra kept dodging the meteors. BOOM!!! a meteor had hit Libra! Libra was in pieces."LIBRA" yelled Cyo. Cyo looked up. The blader was gone! Cyo screamed "LIBRA!!!!!!!!!" yelled Cyo

Hope you like it.

It needs more entertainment and you need to have more lines then that not trying to judgmental or anything but it needs a lot of work

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Want sprites like in my sig click here (Star Fox not included)
Trash music here
Dragon

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Chapter are a bit too on the short side, you dob't really seem to take time to be detailed, it's a block of text (When ever someone new speaks, start on a new line), the first 'chapter' is pretty much a character description, the plot is typical and it's easy to see what's coming, and then there was 'Cyo screamed "LIBRA!!!!!!!!!" yelled Cyo'. Sorry if that was harsh, but I don't like it when someone calls a paragraph a chapter and puts little thought into it. Try to hold off on 'chapters', take and write around 5 and then release that as a chapter. Hope I helped. Also, look at 'The Writer's Handbook' for anything I missed.

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Youtube! l MA Bladers! l FiNal DrivE! l BlueBomberForums! l Dragon Adopters!

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Person:"Brad, sign my launcher! Brad, sign everything I own!"
BeyBrad:"Did you see me sign that kid's shoe? He was like 'BRAD, CAN U SIGHN MAH SHOO?!' and I was like 'Yeeeaaahhh... ?'
CyberBlader27: Cant believe I missed Beyblade Crusade 2011... :( LMAO Quotes:

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I beat my brother in an anime style way but i then found out that u cant use quick plays from your hand on your opponents turn.

Did you have duel disks? Or were you on motorcycles?

How do you make a evil Scorpio 100df and what parts do you need[/i]

seriously, just stop being so damn lazy.

purple ponies

Name: Seniel hatakashi
Nationality: American
Personality: Energetic, Friendly, Loyal, and Good humored, tempered
Age: 12
Team: none
Bey: Gravitate Pegasus (or spaţiu) AMGB 159 (Armored Magnetic Gravity Bowl) CS

ahem
what are you doing?

Name: Kastu Katsume
Nationality: American
Personality: Energetic, Friendly, Loyal, and Good humored
Age: 15
Team: none
Bey: Lunar Raven (or Corus) AMGB 155 (Armored Magnetic Gravity Bowl) CS

My biggest phobia is... wait for it... Dark Wolf.

Lol
Its to much strength to handle. Lol

Part of the day:

Spoiler (Click to View)

BD145 (Boost Disk 145)
* Weight: 8 grams

BD145 shares a similar trait with its partner Hell, in that, like Hell is one of the widest Metal Wheels ever released, BD145 is the widest Track ever. This Track is unique both because of its width and also its ability to change modes. Changing modes is similar to how it is done with SW145, however this time, instead of removing the changeable part from the bottom and flipping it, it is removed from the top and then flipped. BD145 has two modes:

* Normal Mode

In Normal Mode the "Boost Disk" sits lower on the Track, which causes most Beyblades to scrape the Beystadium floor easily due to the three downward facing protrusions. However, when using a taller Bottom such as RF, this tendency is lessened somewhat, and the wide diameter of BD145, while it is not able to necessarily provide Smash Attack, it assists in "pushing" the opposing Beyblade out of the Beystadium.

* Boost Mode

Boost Mode works exclusively in combination with Hell. The three upward facing protrusions on BD145 go past the bottom of the Metal Wheel into the gaps of Hell itself and unlike Normal Mode, there is absolutely no space between the Metal Wheel and Boost Disk. This mode has proven to be incredibly effective in Stamina, Defense, and even Attack customizations.
Use in Attack Customizations

Somewhat surprisingly, BD145 found use in Attack customizations such as MF Lightning L-Drago BD145LRF. The increased diameter allowed by BD145 makes it easier to strike the opposing Beyblade, and in combination with the high Smash Attack of Lightning L-Drago and the speed of LRF, this combination is deadly.
Use in Defense Customizations

BD145 is the heaviest Track available, and that along with the fact that it almost completely nullifies low Attackers makes it one of the best Defense Tracks available. It can be used in the custom MF-H Basalt Kerbecs BD145CS/MB.
Use in Balance Customization

Along with having great Stamina, the combo MF Hell Bull/Kerbecs BD145CS (Boost Mode) also has good Defense against Attackers which will be partially neutralized by both the wide, plastic "Boost Disk", and the rubber surrounding the sharp tip of CS.

Thank you Beywiki!

....

I'd really like to not write a review. Please just visit the writers handbook and read that through. Then read it again. And when you think you've read it enough, go through again. If you're still unsure of anything, PM me.

I need to say this: PLEASE put more than 3 sentence in a 'chapter'.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

...It seems like the people already here have said much about this. Except I found a little bit more.
This character is BY FAR one of the biggest Mary-Sues you can have in Beyblade. Libra BD145? Really? Some sentences make NO sense whatsoever, as in "Grabbed Out" will get you laughed at. It's about as short as Rock Bull 85XF, the paragraph(s) is/are choppy, there are NO transitions, the plot is indiscernable, and it is overall plain old effortless. I'd advise you to put more effort into writing, and read the Writer's Handbook, ALONG WITH EVERY SINGLE POST. From mine on up to NooDoo Soup's. Rant done.
EDIT: Can nobody here capitalize "I"? It's not THAT hard.

i'm sorry my story is not good. i will not be making more chapters. I will write more stuff outside of wbo and at some point i will write another story and post it here.

Jeez louise, it annoys me to no end when people end their stories because of a little criticism. How about, let's see, improving it? But you know what, do what you want, stop your story or whatever. Just don't expect to get any better.

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

Jeez louise, it annoys me to no end when people end their stories because of a little criticism. How about, let's see, improving it? But you know what, do what you want, stop your story or whatever. Just don't expect to get any better.

This. I always thought that many writers here only wrote to feed their ego, and this is exact proof. Do you know how much I've been criticized? I once wanted a story published in installments on my school's newspaper, and I was turned down with a list of what was wrong. Do you know how to fix it? Fix it, obviously. Take the advice, don't just quit. If you wanna quit, then quit.

Jeez louise, it annoys me to no end when people end their stories because of a little criticism. How about, let's see, improving it? But you know what, do what you want, stop your story or whatever. Just don't expect to get any better.

This. I always thought that many writers here only wrote to feed their ego, and this is exact proof. Do you know how much I've been criticized? I once wanted a story published in installments on my school's newspaper, and I was turned down with a list of what was wrong. Do you know how to fix it? Fix it, obviously. Take the advice, don't just quit. If you wanna quit, then quit.

Ha! And people expect to see a great story handed to them on a silver platter. It's laughable, just plain laughable!

Alright, here's what I suggest: Keep writing! Take our advice, and day by day improve yourself. Do you think NooDoo, Temporal or I became great writers overnight?

For starters, why don't you PM one of us? If you want, I can give you some tips (In fact, Iakou has done just this).

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Me? Great writer? Hah, I just know how to criticize

And on the topic, the quality of writing nowadays really has gone down. It seems some people only write for the money or publicity. It's kinda upsetting.

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

Is it okay if I say *Cough*Twilight*Cough* here? Read Maximim Ride, and compare it to Twilight. Or even The Knife of Letting Go. Both are better than Twilight by a longshot.

I only stopped writing so i could get better. Plus I dont think Cyo should have such a good bey. I will write more stories soon. Could someone please give me a link to the writers handbook? I will pm one of you sometime. I just hope I become an author someday.

The Writer's Handbook.

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

Well if your done posting i will stopping looking on this page so darn

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Want sprites like in my sig click here (Star Fox not included)
Trash music here
Dragon

Spoiler (Click to View)

@ Temporal and Noodoo, however if the story has a bad beginning and as you guys have already proved there is little you like about the story you may aswell stop it because people aren't going to want to continue reading it.
EpicSmashAttack I think that it is a smart idea for you to stop so you can get better and make a new story which will get people's attention.

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<-SDC
Team Omega Nova!Poke-Fusion Lab!My story

Chapter three:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"LIBRA!!!!!" Cyo screamed again as he yelled. Cyo was very sad about his bey being destroyed. He grabbed out a gluestick from the meteors and glued Libra back together! He got back on his red bike and rode to the end of the forest. At the end of the forest there was a restaurant and Cyo ate a hamburger with delicious ketchup on it and then he saw the boy again! Cyo screamed "You destroyed my bey!!!!!" he said calmly. "You should've been a better blader!" said the boy. Cyo said "Your Beyblade combination is illegal!!! You cannot have Perseus on Meteo! It's against the rules!!!!" The boy smiled in terror. "What are you going to do about it??" he said. Cyo got on the phone and called the police! "911 what is your emergency" the phone said.

Hope you like it.