World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

BeyStory: Into The Furnace GIVEAWAY IN PROGRESS IN OP

Poll: Do you like this story?

I LOVED IT
61.11%
22
It was good
22.22%
8
meh
11.11%
4
story, what story
5.56%
2
Total: 100% 36 vote(s)
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  • Show Results
Aug. 03, 2011  7:42 AM
 
UPDATE: brand new chapter. It is amazing when you pair it up with chapter 13
Aug. 05, 2011  10:46 AM
 
From now on i will release a chapter about every two days
EDIT: Chapter 13 today
Aug. 05, 2011  11:20 AM
 
Do you add my character?
I remember that I did once before.
Aug. 05, 2011  3:27 PM
 
(Aug. 05, 2011  11:20 AM)天翔翼 TenshouYoku Wrote: Do you add my character?
I remember that I did once before.

cant find him. will you post him again pls. i may have rejected him/her or it may be too early for them. pls post the charecter again.
Aug. 05, 2011  5:17 PM
 
(Aug. 05, 2011  3:27 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
(Aug. 05, 2011  11:20 AM)天翔翼 TenshouYoku Wrote: Do you add my character?
I remember that I did once before.

cant find him. will you post him again pls. i may have rejected him/her or it may be too early for them. pls post the charecter again.

also here is another bey for you to make
Spoiler (Click to View)
Quote:Well,do you mind adding my character?
Name: Sora Wing
Beyblade: Galaxy Wingia W105 R2F
Special MoveConfusedtorm Upper (The upper version of Stargizer)
Personality:kind of arrogant
Bey Explanation: A bey in pure white colour,the original red lines are replaced by Gold colour)
Character Description: Arrogant, but fights back in a corner when in trouble

Well.......Don't blame me at using Galaxy Pegasis design
This one?
Also, Winia is come from outa space (hit fly
Aug. 05, 2011  5:24 PM
 
nice idea sora, and popular as far as i can tell, could be improved but then i guess all stories could, even published ones!
Aug. 06, 2011  12:15 PM
 
Quote:Well,do you mind adding my character?
Name: Sora Wing
Beyblade: Galaxy Wingia W105 R2F
Special MoveConfusedtorm Upper (The upper version of Stargizer)
Personality:kind of arrogant
Bey Explanation: A bey in pure white colour,the original red lines are replaced by Gold colour)
Character Description: Arrogant, but fights back in a corner when in trouble

Well.......Don't blame me at using Galaxy Pegasis design
This one?
Also, Winia is come from outa space (hit fly
[/quote]

he is in... is it a he? i really need some female bladers
Aug. 06, 2011  1:14 PM
 
(Aug. 06, 2011  12:15 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
Quote:Well,do you mind adding my character?
Name: Sora Wing
Beyblade: Galaxy Wingia W105 R2F
Special MoveConfusedtorm Upper (The upper version of Stargizer)
Personality:kind of arrogant
Bey Explanation: A bey in pure white colour,the original red lines are replaced by Gold colour)
Character Description: Arrogant, but fights back in a corner when in trouble

Well.......Don't blame me at using Galaxy Pegasis design
This one?
Also, Winia is come from outa space (hit fly

he is in... is it a he? i really need some female bladers
[/quote]
He's a guy........
Aug. 06, 2011  5:03 PM
 
(Aug. 06, 2011  1:14 PM)天翔翼 TenshouYoku Wrote:
(Aug. 06, 2011  12:15 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
Quote:Well,do you mind adding my character?
Name: Sora Wing
Beyblade: Galaxy Wingia W105 R2F
Special MoveConfusedtorm Upper (The upper version of Stargizer)
Personality:kind of arrogant
Bey Explanation: A bey in pure white colour,the original red lines are replaced by Gold colour)
Character Description: Arrogant, but fights back in a corner when in trouble

Well.......Don't blame me at using Galaxy Pegasis design
This one?
Also, Winia is come from outa space (hit fly

he is in... is it a he? i really need some female bladers
He's a guy........
[/quote]

he will be pretty late in the story
Aug. 11, 2011  8:32 AM
 
sorry for the delay. ive been busy. my friend is coming and i needed to prepare for my battle with him. i will write the next chapter now and probably release it tommorow

anyway i realized that i had a few spare beybladebattles.com codes and i was wondering if i should do a best character giveaway. try it! the theme is...
Spoiler (Click to View)
make the character a girl. the best bey will be used in the story and i will pm them the unused code.
Aug. 11, 2011  9:18 AM
 
Name:Andrew Startagami
Beyblade:Momentum Phi G2B160ED
Special Move:Tormentum (Tornado+Momentum) The beyblade stays the center and wobbles, but when a bey hits Phi it has enough momentum to swing and hit the bey making almost impossible to cause any damage to Momentum Phi.
Personality:Andrew is very up beat and doesn't get sad very easily. He is always looking for a challenge and is not very stubborn. He has a big stomach and he can sometimes get angry easily. He is always very funny but is battle serious.
Bey Explanation:(Left spin,Right spin Defense type) Phi is a robot and is named after the greek letter. It's clear wheel is shaped like Horougium but instead of numbers it has greek letters going from Alpha to Omega. It's Silver and the letters are black. Momentum is black and shaped like Basalt but has a metal ball where the staircase is, that goes around and around. G2B160 (Grand Gravity Bowl) is a transparent white, shaped like a circle and has four metal balls. ESD is an Eternal Semi Defense and is transparent white.
Character Description: Andrew is 13 years old and lives with his dad and younger brother. His dad works with the WBBA and he made Momentum Phi for Andrew. Andrew is always helping his little brother become a better blader. His mom isn't there with them because is traveling the world.
Aug. 12, 2011  6:51 AM
 
(Aug. 11, 2011  9:18 AM)Kid Dranzer Wrote: Name:Andrew Startagami
Beyblade:Momentum Phi G2B160ED
Special Move:Tormentum (Tornado+Momentum) The beyblade stays the center and wobbles, but when a bey hits Phi it has enough momentum to swing and hit the bey making almost impossible to cause any damage to Momentum Phi.
Personality:Andrew is very up beat and doesn't get sad very easily. He is always looking for a challenge and is not very stubborn. He has a big stomach and he can sometimes get angry easily. He is always very funny but is battle serious.
Bey ExplanationUnhappyLeft spin,Right spin Defense type) Phi is a robot and is named after the greek letter. It's clear wheel is shaped like Horougium but instead of numbers it has greek letters going from Alpha to Omega. It's Silver and the letters are black. Momentum is black and shaped like Basalt but has a metal ball where the staircase is, that goes around and around. G2B160 (Grand Gravity Bowl) is a transparent white, shaped like a circle and has four metal balls. ESD is an Eternal Semi Defense and is transparent white.
Character Description: Andrew is 13 years old and lives with his dad and younger brother. His dad works with the WBBA and he made Momentum Phi for Andrew. Andrew is always helping his little brother become a better blader. His mom isn't there with them because is traveling the world.

character must be a girl sorry to be so strict. also i will ask the winner a question about the story in general to make sure they actually read the story. you dont have to read it all to know the question. as i said it is about the story in general
Aug. 12, 2011  7:45 AM
 
(Aug. 12, 2011  6:51 AM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
(Aug. 11, 2011  9:18 AM)Kid Dranzer Wrote: Name:Andrew Startagami
Beyblade:Momentum Phi G2B160ED
Special Move:Tormentum (Tornado+Momentum) The beyblade stays the center and wobbles, but when a bey hits Phi it has enough momentum to swing and hit the bey making almost impossible to cause any damage to Momentum Phi.
Personality:Andrew is very up beat and doesn't get sad very easily. He is always looking for a challenge and is not very stubborn. He has a big stomach and he can sometimes get angry easily. He is always very funny but is battle serious.
Bey ExplanationUnhappyLeft spin,Right spin Defense type) Phi is a robot and is named after the greek letter. It's clear wheel is shaped like Horougium but instead of numbers it has greek letters going from Alpha to Omega. It's Silver and the letters are black. Momentum is black and shaped like Basalt but has a metal ball where the staircase is, that goes around and around. G2B160 (Grand Gravity Bowl) is a transparent white, shaped like a circle and has four metal balls. ESD is an Eternal Semi Defense and is transparent white.
Character Description: Andrew is 13 years old and lives with his dad and younger brother. His dad works with the WBBA and he made Momentum Phi for Andrew. Andrew is always helping his little brother become a better blader. His mom isn't there with them because is traveling the world.

character must be a girl sorry to be so strict. also i will ask the winner a question about the story in general to make sure they actually read the story. you dont have to read it all to know the question. as i said it is about the story in general

oh Speechless well okay
Aug. 12, 2011  7:51 AM
 
I'll now have a break from my entry and create something.

Name : Shelia Misaki
Bey: Universal Pegasis(3) S:D
description:
Universal: A right spinning wheel with rubber on it, to create an upper force. It can Anti-spin-equalizing.
Pegasis 3: A Clear, deep-blue Pegasis 3 wheel.
S:D(speed drive): It has 2 mode: First it is in RMF(right metal flat) mode,, then changes into CS mode, the first bey to have different materials in a drive.

Special move: Whatever, but don't describe some weirdo things.

Character description: Once she is a energetic and charming girl, but now she is very calm and cool, which is unusual for a girl. She is talented. She does not know anything about bad-guys, but she'll always kick their butt when she saw them.
Aug. 12, 2011  8:32 AM
 
umm, let me try?

Name: Vanessa Galeria
Beyblade: Lunatic Horseus BD145 D:X
Special Move: Gaia Force (Bey glows red and Blows up the battle field)
Gender: Female
Personality: She is a weird person- Crazy, as in crazy enough to jump a 50-story building crazy, but beautiful exotic Girl. too bad she has a boyfriend, Cause Dylan has A BIG CRUSH ON HER( and he will do everything just to get her!)
Bey description:(ok, you guys pretty much know the other parts, so i will just describe Lunatic, D:X, and the color)
Lunatic- a weird shaped wheel, three spear-like objects are its wings, while its PC frame consists of a bright, yellow color, with the same style
D:X- means drive Xtreme.it makes the bey go crazy because of the X tip, which looks like a S tip broken
BD145, and horseus: the color is bright orange
Character description: blonde hair. has tribal signs all over here body. she's a bit tall. she wears a yellow skirt and shirt, and bracelet with "get up!" written on it

hope it will help
Aug. 12, 2011  8:40 AM
 
(Aug. 12, 2011  8:32 AM)DeX Wrote: umm, let me try?

Name: Vanessa Galeria
Beyblade: Lunatic Horseus BD145 D:X
Special Move: Gaia Force (Bey glows red and Blows up the battle field)
Gender: Female
Personality: She is a weird person- Crazy, as in crazy enough to jump a 50-story building crazy, but beautiful exotic Girl. too bad she has a boyfriend, Cause Dylan has A BIG CRUSH ON HER( and he will do everything just to get her!)
Bey descriptionUnhappyok, you guys pretty much know the other parts, so i will just describe Lunatic, D:X, and the color)
Lunatic- a weird shaped wheel, three spear-like objects are its wings, while its PC frame consists of a bright, yellow color, with the same style
D:X- means drive Xtreme.it makes the bey go crazy because of the X tip, which looks like a S tip broken
BD145, and horseus: the color is bright orange
Character description: blonde hair. has tribal signs all over here body. she's a bit tall. she wears a yellow skirt and shirt, and bracelet with "get up!" written on it

hope it will help

this is gonna be hard to beat. thanks DeX

EDIT: DEMARKO has a crush on her. sorry for being so strict but i have to fit it in to the story
Aug. 15, 2011  1:13 PM
 
Chapter 14 is finally out. dont forget the giveaway. its on till the end of august.
Aug. 15, 2011  5:55 PM
 
Hi i'd like to make a character request for the contest!

Name: Nicole Gem

Race:Human

Gender:Female

Bey:God Zeus LS125 M/P/R (Metal Plastic and Rubber)

Bey TypeGrinefense

Bey Explanation:God:Looks like Rock but has spikier ledges.Zeus:has lightnings on the corner of the energy ring so when it gets attacked it flies out of the energy ring and attacks the bey and comes back.LS125:Lightning spikes:Looks like ED145 but has more hooks,and its shaped like Lightning bolts.
M/P/R:Metal Plastic Rubber tip:M/P/R is a tip that has Metal Plastic and Rubber that are shaped together as a tip.1/3 of the tip is metal.1/3 of the tip is plastic.and 1/3 of the tip is rubber.

Bey Special Moves.Rising of the GodsEeeverything turns dark and Zeus turns Gold.And in the sky all the other Gods are watching over my bey for Protection.And then my Bey launches to the sky and strikes down with a lightning strike following it to attack the other bey losing all its stamina.

PersonalityConfusedmart,Competitive,Nosy,Mean a little,and a loud mouth.

Character DescriptionConfusedhe wears a pink hat.A ponytail that comes out from the back of the hat.She likes to carry books everywhere she goes about Gods and Goddesses.Also she brings a notebook to draw new ideas for beyblades.Her shirt is a nyan cat in the front.A skirt.5"2. blue high tops converse.brunette hair.

Hope you like it!

Edit:Made some space so you know where you are reading.And can you make her become a Cold Fire member and then she turns to good after a while?






Aug. 16, 2011  10:45 AM
 
Sure.i should start reading your story if i have time (just read a part of it)

now i must know who demarko is!
Aug. 23, 2011  11:30 AM
 
hey you havnt used my charector yet and i posted about 3 months ago
Aug. 25, 2011  4:28 PM
 
(Aug. 23, 2011  11:30 AM)storm pegusas5 Wrote: hey you havnt used my charector yet and i posted about 3 months ago

it was only one month!At least let him have time to write
Aug. 25, 2011  4:44 PM
 
Uuuh few things wrong I can tell right off the bat from reading the first three paragraphs are you have to work on your vocabulary. "dark red" would be a crimson cloak. Stick with one or the other, not both. You may want to state the wear of his clothes, material, the fit, etc. Also, age is not something you can dub as "oh, he's 16". You'd best say "he was in his mid teens".

Then there's the touch of transition.

(May. 08, 2011  5:57 AM)sonicsora123 Wrote: The helicopter landed. Two figures walked out.
That is SO boring. Why not something like...

"The dust on the ground was kicked up from the gusts of the landing helicopter. In protest, I raised my arms to shield myself from oncoming debris and wind. I could only make out two figures emerging from the aircraft past the dirt in my eyes."

See? Much more eventful. It gives the reader a sense of being there.

Okay so here's my character request:

Me with Variares BD145RF. I am female and I'm a suck Beyblader so you should be able to draw from that.

Oh, and it seems to be a reoccurring theme that Bluezee tries to kill me in all fanfictions.

Aug. 25, 2011  8:47 PM
 
(Aug. 25, 2011  4:44 PM)Deikailo Wrote: Uuuh few things wrong I can tell right off the bat from reading the first three paragraphs are you have to work on your vocabulary. "dark red" would be a crimson cloak. Stick with one or the other, not both. You may want to state the wear of his clothes, material, the fit, etc. Also, age is not something you can dub as "oh, he's 16". You'd best say "he was in his mid teens".

Then there's the touch of transition.

(May. 08, 2011  5:57 AM)sonicsora123 Wrote: The helicopter landed. Two figures walked out.
That is SO boring. Why not something like...

"The dust on the ground was kicked up from the gusts of the landing helicopter. In protest, I raised my arms to shield myself from oncoming debris and wind. I could only make out two figures emerging from the aircraft past the dirt in my eyes."

See? Much more eventful. It gives the reader a sense of being there.

Okay so here's my character request:

Me with Variares BD145RF. I am female and I'm a suck Beyblader so you should be able to draw from that.

Oh, and it seems to be a reoccurring theme that Bluezee tries to kill me in all fanfictions.

thank you. i will take all your points into consideration and blah blah blah. etc.
anyway, you are right. i could say those were lessons learned. i mean i never really repeated them since, but yes ive found that i dont use description to the best of my ability. i need to really get that lovely texture you gave in your example

Storm pegasus5
do you really think i have time to check through every character request??? i try my best and if i miss a few out then i will miss a few out. we're not perfect. i will try to get your request in soon but you are in a long queue of characters. some people have waited a very long time. just chill out and if you do feel im taking a while then just politely nudge me. thank you blaningkiller. you really have helped clear this thread up a bit
Aug. 26, 2011  12:24 AM
 
Quote: thank you bladingkiller. you really have helped clear this thread up a bit

your welcome
Aug. 29, 2011  2:48 PM
 
ok guys. im back and i will be writing alot more now. im so sorry to all of my fans. thank you for your patience.

PS contest is almost over
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