World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

A Brave New World (Beyblade Story)-Re-Editing And Finishing At Long Last

Poll: Do you like the story?

Love it!
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It's OK
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13
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Total: 100% 64 vote(s)
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Dec. 30, 2010  4:15 AM
 
My first 1!! Here goes:

I fell. It was like nothing else I had ever experienced, falling backwards off a canyon peak. The wind rushing up at me, blowing my black spiky hair around like it was made of tissue paper, the scent of . I looked up at the sun blazing in the sky, the fluffy clouds swirling peacefully around. Strange, to be having such calm thoughts as I fell towards what would most likely be my end. As I felt the trees begin to rush up at me I had time for one last thought: my bey, my Dranzer. I wondered if it would be my last. I looked for one last amazing picture to take with me. I searched the sky for that sun, which happened setting beautifully behind a bed of mountains. I took a mental snapshot, closed my eyes, and awaited deaths open arms.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I should start at the beginning, where it all started. So let's go back a bit...


More than anything this is a teaser trailer......no I will NOT be jumping off cliffs in the story anytime soon.....

Or will I?
Dec. 30, 2010  4:20 AM
 
its ok
Dec. 30, 2010  5:05 AM
 
Already got chaptah 2!!! WOOOOOOT!!!!! YAYYYYY!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!

"All right!" I pulled out my dark blue launcher grip. "3!" I attached my crimson string launcher. "2!" I clipped in my bey pointer. "1!" Reaching out to my left arm shoulder, I unbuttoned a pouch containing my blade, Earth Aquario C145 WD, and put it on my launcher........"Let it rip!!!" I shouted, pulling the cord back furiously. My bey immediately let go of its grip on my launcher and flew towards the bey stadium. It was a crisp autumn day, and the air had a faint chill. An occasional leaf came drifting down from the sky. And after a few seconds of contact, that was where my opponents blade ended up. It sputtered and spun into the sky, then came roaring back down to earth like a shooting star, landing at my feet. Our small audience was silent for a minute, then went wild. "Go Ethan!!" one shouted. "You're the coolest blader ever!!" I picked up the bey at my feet and walked around the stadium to my former opponent, who was on his knees. "It was a good fight." I said, putting the bey in his palm. "You may make a great blader someday." The boys eyes lit up. "You really think so?" I smiled. "Yah, I do. But you have to practice a lot to get there." My bey flew back into my hand, and I placed it back in its pouch, perfectly at home. We held eye contact for a few moments, then I stood back up. I was about to walk away when a strange red light began to shine down on us from the sky. I shielded my eyes and looked up, just in time to see a comet speeding towards our group. "Run!" I shouted, and the kids scattered. I jogged a bit farther from the scene, then watched the meteor make contact with the earth. At first nothing happened. Then a huge explosion filled the sky, and bits of rock rained everywhere. The ground shook like an earthquake, and a nearby tree caught fire. The scene was chaos for what seemed like eternity. Then, all of a sudden, it subsided. The fires were gone and everything was normal. Except for the crater. I walked over to it, entranced by the shock of what had taken place. When I arrived at the meteor, I was careful not to touch it, as if it were so fragile that i could brake it. There was a huge crack running through the middle of it. And inside, I could not beleive what I saw.

Yah, long chapter I know. And Vote!!! It's your duty to your country. And comment as well!!! Please tell me watcha think!!
Dec. 30, 2010  6:21 PM
 
CHAPTER 3!!!!!! YAHHHHH!!!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!

A bey. Of all the things you could find in a meteor from outer space. Crystals, an alien, something you've wished for, or even a UFO. But no. I found a beyblade. The ground around the meteor was hissing steam, so I was careful to avoid it when I picked up the bey. It had a metal face-bolt, and it was a green like an emerald. The picture was of a red phoenix, blazing like the sun. It was strange that this bey had an actual picture of a beast, and not a symbol. The energy ring was a brilliant blue, dark as the night sky. I had never seen this fusion wheel before though. It closely resembled earth, except the four sides were straight cut and shorter. I figured since the bey was in a meteor I would call it comet. The spin track was also unfamiliar. It was as tall as 145 but had a metal ring on it, with two prongs that looked like they were made for upper attack. And they were made from....metal? Hm. I decided on M145 for metal. At least the performance tip I knew. WD. Even though the entire bey entranced me, I couldn't take my eyes off the face-bolt. Where had I seen it before? I suddenly had a flashback of watching a tournament on T.V........the Bega Justice League 5! That's what it was called! And the bit....belonged Kai. My model. My hero. I didn't believe it. I had his Dranzer. The bey began to glow red. I stared at it, not knowing what to do, when the light surrounded me in a bundled ball of the energy, almost like an explosion. Bigger and bigger it grew, until it had consumed the entire state of Connecticut! The energy could be seen from outer-space, growing and soon encasing the entire continent of North America, then crossing the oceans, then reaching the eastern hemisphere, until the entire earth was encased in the red light. Then, suddenly as it began, it ended, and all of the light retracted into my bey. I stood there, dumbfounded by the power that Dranzer had just shown me. I took my old bey out of the pouch and put it my pocket, and out Dranzer inside the pouch. It was still warm, and I could feel the heat radiating from my entire left shoulder. I just stood there like an idiot forever, my mind replaying all of the events of today over and over. Battle. Meteor. Dranzer. Heat. Energy. Dranzer. It all came down to Dranzer. Metal Face-bolt Comet Dranzer M145 WD..... a balance type bey. I liked it, just like the original dranzer. I walked home.

That night I lay in bed, flipping Dranzer over and over in my hands. It was an amazing bey.....was it legal? I sure hoped so, because the town beyblade tournament, hosted by Burger King, was tomorrow. But I didn't even know how this bey handled. What is its' fighting style? How does it cope with turns? And the most important question in my mind: I now have a bit......can I make a special move? As if to answer, Dranzer began to radiate that crimson energy again. I got out of bed, got dressed, when outside into the cold night air, and began to practice my new special move. And that's when everything went wrong.


Like it????!!!!!! Please leave a comment and VOTE!!!!!!! Thanks Smile........and happy new years!!!!!
Dec. 30, 2010  7:49 PM
 
good story
Dec. 30, 2010  10:06 PM
 
CHAPTER 4!!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!! GOLF CLAP!!!!!!!!!!!

As I walked out into the cool, crisp, night air, I was warmed by the heat energy radiating from Dranzer. I quickly assembled my launcher and loaded my bey. As the red energy encased my entire launcher, I took a deep breath, not knowing what to expect from the powerful bey. I said a prayer and launched. The bey almost exploded off the launcher, and I was knocked off my feet. "Waaah!!!" I yelled as I fell backwards. I hit the ground hard and tumbled over head over heels for a few feet, then I looked up to see what had become of Dranzer. All I saw was mass destruction. Dranzer was flying around, hitting this and that and destroying all that was in it's path. It was completely out of control, and trees burned and suffered its' wrath. The fire spread and before I knew it the flames were licking at my feet. I immediately got up and ran, not for 1 second thinking about my bey. Forget it I thought. It's way too powerful to control. It was at that moment, running for my life, that Dranzer landed in front of me, as if to say 'your not going anywhere. Learn to control me'. I was in no mood to, and kept on running to my house so I could dial 911. But with every step I took, Dranzer intensified the fire. For a minute I stood still, not knowing what to do. Then it came to me. I finally understood that Dranzer was testing me, to see if I was worthy to control him. "Alright," I said. "You wanna play like that? I'm game." I turned around and faced the fire, no longer afraid. I put my arms out wide like I was flying, and, with a straight face, remained calm, almost saying 'Cmon. I dare ya'. the fire roared towards me, but right before I was torched, it stopped. Dranzer landed at my feet. Then, it began to glow again, and suddenly, the fire was gone, as if it never happened. The grass showed no signs of burn, and the trees weren't even scorched. I took a huge breath and wiped the sweat off my face. My heart pounded in my ears, but it did not drown out the one thought my brain could muster: I have mastered this power. Dranzer landed in my palm, and with it, I remembered the comet. That was it! That was going to be my special move! I quickly launched a dummy bey, then Dranzer. "Special move," I said. I took two fingers, raised them up high over my left shoulder, and brought them down diagonally, dragging a flame with me. "Blazing comet rainstorm!" Dranzer leaped into the sky. I saw his emblem flash, then huge comets rained down onto the earth. They shook it like an earthquake, then one master comet, that Dranzer was inside, roared towards the ground. It was encased in flames, and once it hit, the ground erupted in fire and charred earth. And after the smoke cleared I saw there was nothing left of the dummy bey, but Dranzer was spinning perfectly in the center, calm, as if nothing happened. I walked into the crater and picked up the bey. Yes, I thought. The tournament is mine. I looked at my bey pointer, which read '5600'. The tournament was worth 1000 points. I put Dranzer away and unassembled my launcher. "Yes!" I repeated aloud. "The tournament is ours! Mine and Dranzers!"

Far away, in a distant town. Kai smiled. He had found Dranzer a worthy successor.


You know the drill people!! COMMENT AND VOTE!!!!!!

P.S. here's a small spoiler: One other main character from G-revolution is coming back- as a good guy (A hint: the dude was a bad guy and then a good guy-yep, there were a lot of those so keep guessin!)
Dec. 31, 2010  3:48 AM
 
Hmmmm...I have no idea who this main character from g-rev is. but i do like the story
Dec. 31, 2010  3:54 AM
 
Good news!!! In honer of the story (and because I badly needed one) I bought a crimson string launcher!!! Putting it on my blue launcher grip would mean I have Ethan's entire launcher!! And now for the main event: the curtain is unveiled as chapter 5 is- huh? WHAT!!!!????? No chapter 5?? Well guys sorry looks like due to new years eve preparations you'll have to wait on the next chapter.....but to tide you over I'm officially excepting charactors!! Just post a........post of your characters appearance, bey, special move, characteristics, and side-good or evil! There are only 3 good slots and 3 bad slots available so hurry in and be sure to make your characters to be in the story!!!!!!!


Dranzer5335,
Out.
Dec. 31, 2010  5:57 AM
 
I want to enter
Jin Naito
Has spikey hair going downward front and has T-shirt and an unbuttoned jacket covering itnand has jeans that has crossed belt and well sneakers
Bey: Gash Orion 100R2F Gash looks like thermal but the 4 spikes are flat. Orion clear wheel is bulky like persues but doesn't have the eye thing.
Special Move: Octane Gash
Hits the opposing bey making it fly upwards then Gash orion glows white then hits the falling beyblade with a gashing force.
Charasteristics: Strong and silent but cares about friends
GooD
P.S. Love the story
Dec. 31, 2010  6:43 AM
 
Name Rejji Yamato Bey Gorgon Viper F85RF Viper's facebolt is a pic of a green serpent with a black background. Gorgon is a metal wheel that has six protrusions that look like snake fangs. Viper is a clear wheel that is green with six protrusions that look like snake heads that fit perfectly over the Gorgon wheel. F85 stands for Fangs 85 height it has fangs that extend out from the metal wheel and strike the opponent. RF is rubber flat for attack. Attack type. Special move Gorgon Freeze Viper freezes the
opponent. Viper assault is the second special move that follows after Gorgon Freeze a viper appears out of Gorgon Viper and viciously attacks the opponent. He is Bad very bad.
opponent. Viper assault is the second special move that follows after Gorgon Freeze a viper appears out of Gorgon Viper and viciously attacks the opponent. He is Bad very bad.
opponent. Viper assault is the second special move that follows after Gorgon Freeze a viper appears out of Gorgon Viper and viciously attacks the opponent. He is Bad very bad.
Oh yeah his appearance is a mohawk. leather jacket, T-shirt with viper written across it in blood red, baggy jeans with chains, and sneakers. He hates everyone except his bey who he keeps in a satin case.
Oh yeah his appearance is a mohawk. leather jacket, T-shirt with viper written across it in blood red, baggy jeans with chains, and sneakers. He hates everyone except his bey who he keeps in a satin case.
Dec. 31, 2010  4:15 PM
 
Krabby guy sure ur in in like 1 or 2 chapters and drago guy sorry bad guys wont be introduce until 2 or 3 chapters from here............... Thanks ta both of u!!
Dec. 31, 2010  4:25 PM
 
Charactar name:Christian
Bey: Cyber Libra 105ES
Special move: Supersonic Drill ( Libra shines and blinds the opponent and then bounces on the opponrents bey's performwnce tip and drills the tip off)
Type:attacChristian also has Spikey hair black hair like goku and wears cargo shorts and a black hoddie (hodie is down)Hope u like it
Love ur stories
The good guy is Kai
Dec. 31, 2010  4:35 PM
 
1. No idea who goku is but ok i think i got the basic gist of it.
2. Thanks for the complement!!
3. Well...........thats not the surprise one. Another HUGE hint: bit beast was a greek god
Dec. 31, 2010  4:37 PM
 
forget i said goku i just meant he has spikey hair also when are u going to make another chapter
Dec. 31, 2010  4:37 PM
 
Wow i almost take that back that makes this too easy if u no dnt post it!!!!
Ok and probably tomorrow i am so buisy 2day (new years stuff)
Dec. 31, 2010  4:40 PM
 
Srryy dude i just want to find out the nxt time you're doing another chapter sheesh ur stories are the definition of awesome
Dec. 31, 2010  4:47 PM
 
Thanks!!! And btw i lied the surpeise charactor is eeeeeeeevvvviiiilllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So keep sendin in those characters!!!!
Dec. 31, 2010  5:04 PM
 
ummmmmm... i give up i can't think of the surprise charactor
man i can't wait until after new yers man i want that story now!!!!!!! my bladers spirit has been lit aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec. 31, 2010  5:25 PM
 
who's the ONLY evil blader with a greek god bit beast? watch the final ep. of g-rev again, it's so obvious
Dec. 31, 2010  5:40 PM
 
SHHHH!!!!!!!! I said don't say it!!!!
All right you got me.............it's hillary (LOL no it's not)
But...........I'm gonna lie again here's chapter 5!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! COOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!

"Alright beybladers! Welcome to the local beyblade tournament in sunny Connecticut, hosted by Burger King, who reminds you to have it your way! And now lets hear it for our sponsors, who have-" DJ Jasman rambled on as I finished polishing up my string launcher. I put it back into it's pouch and threw out the dirty rag. Alright, I thought, it's time to take this tournament by storm. I walked out of the lockers and up to the bey dish. Or fire, as it were. I was so impressed that this bey was actually legal, seeing as more than half of it's parts were 1 of a kind and never invented before. I took my launch position. "And in this corner," announced Jasman, "We have a great blader, whose skills are known throughout the town, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Ethan Nightly!!" The crowd went nuts, cheering my name over and over. I couldn't resist giving a friendly wave. "And on the other side, we have a complete unknown, whose journeyed a long way to get here, iiiiiiiiiit's Jin Naito!! Remember folks, the name of this tournament is double elimination round robin!" The crowd gasped as this Jin character walked up to the stadium. His jacket and jeans were worn in and his spiky hair waved in front of his face. He pulled out his black launcher and bey, which looked different. It seemed that he was using unprecedented pieces as well! He smiled, like he knew something. I stood my ground and attached my bey to my launcher. Dranzer glowed red. "C'mon!" I said. "If you insist." He replied, gripping his string launcher. "Ok, it looks like our two competitors have done their trash talking and are ready to get down to business!" Jasman began the countdown. "3! 2! 1! Let it riiiiip!" "Yahh!" I shouted, pulling my launcher so hard I almost dropped it. The recoil from Dranzers launch pulled me back a few feet, but I landed standing up. "I'm ok!" I yelled, still recovering from the launch. I looked down into the stadium and saw Dranzer going around in a circle. Good, I thought. I'm not out yet. "I'm not out yet!" I said, and Dranzer went on the attack. "Yah, nice try." Jin said, looking too relaxed. "Wha-" I started, but just as i did his blade pushed Dranzer back. "So you're a defensive blader!" I said. He laughed. "Wrong, I just used attack power to act as a defensive type!" His blade smashed Dranzer. "Now!" He commanded. "Special move Gash Orion! Octane Gash!" "What?" I said. "Gash Orion? Octane Gash?" Just then orion began to glow in a white energy, then hit Dranzer vertically upwards. "No! Dranzer! Quick! Come back down!" He obeyed, but "Perfect, you played right into my hands." I gasped, as Orion hit Dranzer back up into space. "Nooo!" I screamed, but it was no use. Dranzer landed outside of the stadium. I had lost.
I'm still excepting characters!!! There is 1 good spot and 2 evil spots left!!!! So hurry in!! And u guys no wat ta do!! Comment and vote as well!!!!
Dec. 31, 2010  8:52 PM
 
Name John Deitrick Bey Lightning L-Drago 100RF upper attack mode brown hair clothing jeans sneakers and a t-shirt with L-Drago's face on it. Special move Draconian Blast L-Drago's spirit appears and blasts the opponent with lightning. Good
Dec. 31, 2010  8:54 PM
 
Uhhhh................dont u already hav a charactor? 1 per customer sry can u pick 1 of the 2 u like better???
Dec. 31, 2010  9:17 PM
 
Oh yeah definetly the bad one i was just trying to help suggest characters like i said definetly the guy with Gorgon Viper
Dec. 31, 2010  9:37 PM
 
KK!!! That works!! So now there is 1 good guy left and 2 bad guys left!! Also dont forget to comment, and vote!!! Chapter 6 will be up sometime this weekend.
Jan. 01, 2011  9:19 AM
 
Cool. Chapter 5 was awesome really glad you put mah character
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