[Beyblade story] The Suffering Warrior

Poll: How is it?

Amazing!
47.62%
10
Great!
19.05%
4
Good
9.52%
2
Eh...
19.05%
4
Bad.
4.76%
1
Total: 100% 21 vote(s)
I know, three stories at a time. So what, I like writing them, hah. This will be an MFB story. So yah.


Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Character Descriptions
I am now convinced we really need to make comic books.
Haha, thanks. Chapter 2 will either be up soon, or tomorrow.
Edit: Chapter 2 is up!
Chapter 3 is up! Sorry for the slow start.

EDIT: Chapter 4 is up, sorry its short.
Chapter 5 is up!
AHH! I meant to vote for good! Sorry!
Haha, thats ok. Any ideas on how I could make it better?
It moved REALLY fast. But the #1 issue I see with a lot of stories is character detail, man! Just beef up on the details and you'll have a darn good story Smile I haven't updated in a long while, but I stressed detail in my story, just go check it out, and look for the details I used and how I used them.
OH! And don't forget to indent when starting new paragraphs Smile
Yah, I've been having a problem with that...
Thanks for the feedback! I will check your story out now!
this is such a good story! Waiting for the next chapter! Grin
Thanks! Chapter 6 is up!
i cant wait to read ch.7
nice chapters just getting caught up with all of the stories
I know, sorry. I just like to write multiple stories so as not to get tired with one. The next chapter may be up tomorrow, but we'll see.
I read every chapter so far! This is so good!!
I only read chapter one, but I can offer some input.
You're definitely on the right track - not there yet, but definitely on a good path. I can see you're trying to offer insight into the characters, adding description, and all of that. It just feels like it's not enough sometimes, and that makes the paragraphs choppy. if you can lengthen some of those thoughts - really stretch out the ideas - this story will improve greatly. Not bad, though. Not bad at all.
Thanks! I'll definitely try to do that!
My favourite character so far has to be Foris. When is Chapter 7 going to be up??
Probably Monday, but maybe Tuesday.
Thanks for all the feedback guys Smile
Ok, chapter 7 is up!
Chapter 8 is up! Sorry, its short and not all that great, but I'm extremely tired and things have been rough lately.
Ok guys, so I haven't posted a chapter, and probably won't today, but here's what I'm gonna do. I am writing 3 stories right now, and I have decided to only give one of them a sequel (it will not be A Bit of the Past though). So when I'm done with this story, and Frozen Mistakes, I will count up the good, great, amazing votes and see which one has more, and that one will get a sequel. So if you haven't already, please vote!
very cool story . good grammar
Thanks, and I try to make the grammar as good as possible, as its one of my pet peeves Tongue_out
Completely caught up with the whole story, going to go vote in a bit. I LOVE the whole story! Smile