faissaloo's englanga thread

Poll: how good is my manga

Epic!!!
0%
0
Good.
0%
0
Meh, its ok...
20.00%
2
Bad.
20.00%
2
Absolutely carp!!!!!!!!!!
60.00%
6
Total: 100% 10 vote(s)
I have started making digital manga, here is my first one, I hope you like it:
(Note:pretty big pictures)what improvements do you want me to make next time
A good place to start is to make your comics coherent.
(Dec. 22, 2011  10:40 AM)JCx06 Wrote: ? manga?
lol comic
i don't really get it
(Dec. 22, 2011  11:15 AM)Dan Wrote: A good place to start is to make your comics coherent.

manga, not comic. didn't you notice the zombie gaze, speed lines, pounding vein. the reason why you might think it is not manga is because it is a different type of manga. it was cel-shaded, I only used manga color palettes.
oh and yeah, I realise why my manga comic did not make sense
Just because it has "zombie gaze, speed lines, and pounding vein" does not make it a manga. It is a comic. And an incoherent one at that, as Dan said. It has not dialogue, except in the second (?) panel, and I don't understand how to read it. There is no "story" to follow, it is a very poor "fanfiction" of Beyblade, as it seems that is what you are after, and it is full of random "action". This action makes no sense. If it is a battle manga, look at Naruto, Dragon Ball Z, and (dare I say it) Bleach for examples of how to make a manga flow. If it is a gag manga, look at humorous material, and see how they pull off their gags. If it is story-driven, then create a good story. This is none of these.
(Dec. 22, 2011  1:42 PM)Odin Wrote: Just because it has "zombie gaze, speed lines, and pounding vein" does not make it a manga. It is a comic. And an incoherent one at that, as Dan said. It has not dialogue, except in the second (?) panel, and I don't understand how to read it. There is no "story" to follow, it is a very poor "fanfiction" of Beyblade, as it seems that is what you are after, and it is full of random "action". This action makes no sense. If it is a battle manga, look at Naruto, Dragon Ball Z, and (dare I say it) Bleach for examples of how to make a manga flow. If it is a gag manga, look at humorous material, and see how they pull off their gags. If it is story-driven, then create a good story. This is none of these.

I am currently making a better one, I realise that it was not very manga. My manga is not a series but some random events. I know I need more dialog. I will take your suggestions on board and use them in the next one.
I won't understand it.
:V derp
from what I can see about the story: kid eats lunch before the bey tournament, robber tries to take money from the restaurant where kid is eating, kid kills robber with his bey, then kid turns into zombie because he has no money.
You could improve by making it clear, both visually and in terms of plot, not making the colours so bright and clashing, and not calling your comics manga.

I had no idea what was going on, it hurt my eyes and I think my laptop's graphic card actually vomited blood.
(Dec. 22, 2011  7:12 PM)th!nk Wrote: You could improve by making it clear, both visually and in terms of plot, not making the colours so bright and clashing, and not calling your comics manga.

I had no idea what was going on, it hurt my eyes and I think my laptop's graphic card actually vomited blood.

I am making another manga and I hope it is better than my first one. the last bit of your post made me lol, the color pallet that I use is a digital manga pallete.
(Dec. 22, 2011  7:03 PM)Amber Rosario Wrote: from what I can see about the story: kid eats lunch before the bey tournament, robber tries to take money from the restaurant where kid is eating, kid kills robber with his bey, then kid turns into zombie because he has no money.
pretty much spot on!!!
that makes absolutely no sense in being coherent to beyblade or anything really lol
It's not a manga, but a comic. You may say otherwise, but here's the fact.

Manga panels are read from right to left. The panels from your grotesquerie of a comic are read from left to right, like any Western story.

So there you go.
I would have preferred to see this post put forward without all of the unnecessarily harsh and disparaging comments. This is not constructive criticism.
(Dec. 23, 2011  5:55 PM)Arupaeo Wrote: I would have preferred to see this post put forward without all of the unnecessarily harsh and disparaging comments. This is not constructive criticism.

Of course. That was excessive of me when the others pretty much all said so already.

My apologies ^^'
(Dec. 23, 2011  5:44 PM)Dude Wrote: Manga panels are read from right to left. The panels from your grotesquerie of a comic are read from left to right, like any Western story.

If you understood more about manga you would find that when making manga for a western audience it is written left to right.
oh and my next one is nearly finished and much better
(Dec. 23, 2011  7:44 PM)faissaloo Wrote:
(Dec. 23, 2011  5:44 PM)Dude Wrote: Manga panels are read from right to left. The panels from your grotesquerie of a comic are read from left to right, like any Western story.

If you understood more about manga you would find that when making manga for a western audience it is written left to right.
oh and my next one is nearly finished and much better

Actually, it is not. It is a process known as "mirroring", where they take the manga, and "flip" it so it reads left to right. It makes manga more comfortable for a Western audience.

<EDIT> Here are a few examples of manga storyboards, written by American audiences for Shonen Jump. This might give you some clues as to how to make your comics better.
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-sires-black
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-sarah-pacheco
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-ray-negrón
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-alex-heizer
(Dec. 23, 2011  8:14 PM)Odin Wrote:
(Dec. 23, 2011  7:44 PM)faissaloo Wrote:
(Dec. 23, 2011  5:44 PM)Dude Wrote: Manga panels are read from right to left. The panels from your grotesquerie of a comic are read from left to right, like any Western story.

If you understood more about manga you would find that when making manga for a western audience it is written left to right.
oh and my next one is nearly finished and much better

Actually, it is not. It is a process known as "mirroring", where they take the manga, and "flip" it so it reads left to right. It makes manga more comfortable for a Western audience.

<EDIT> Here are a few examples of manga storyboards, written by American audiences for Shonen Jump. This might give you some clues as to how to make your comics better.
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-sires-black
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-sarah-pacheco
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-ray-negrón
http://shonenjump.viz.com/content/sjsbc-alex-heizer

thanks for the help I really appreciate it!!!
That is considered a comic since you read it from left to right and 99% of manga are black and white but some time the editor's of the Mangaka tell them to color the first page or others try making sceneries in each panel it must have an appropriate background and your character's need shading for a more realistic effect like this http://www.mangareader.net/408-26595-14/...er-10.html
If you want to check wikipedia's definition of Manga (just read the whole opening of the article), in a western context, Manga exclusively refers to comics drawn in Japan.

"In the United States, people refer to what they perceive as manga "styled" comics as Amerimanga, world manga, or original English-language manga (OEL manga). Still, the original term "manga" is primarily used in English-speaking countries solely to describe comics of Japanese origin."

Much like Anime/Western Animation, Avatar is not an Anime, despite having a similar style, as it is not made in Japan.
well my comics are then englanga Wink , oh and my englanga are cel-shaded (they will rarely ever be B&W)
I didnt understand it-____- sorry also you should try making it more better like drawing it by hand!!!!
(Dec. 25, 2011  5:53 PM)sparkman321lir Wrote: I didnt understand it-____- sorry also you should try making it more better like drawing it by hand!!!!

it was drawn by hand DJ - Shock! oh and new one uploaded
Isn't it draw on paint? Dosn't look it was by hand...
(Dec. 25, 2011  7:58 PM)tRiblaDeQ Wrote: Isn't it draw on paint? Dosn't look it was by hand...
Look at the lines closely
It is a form of manga called cel-shaded manga, the base is drawn by hand and is colored with the computer.
I do not use paint as it is not very good for cel-shading, GIMP is much better because it can shade much better.

Also do you like my new manga comic?
I understood it but it wasn't funny. It was an improvement on the previous comic though.

And you're still calling something that isn't Manga "manga".