oh man this chapter was so funny
The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story]
Poll: Your Thoughts About the Story
| Best Bey Story I have read |
|
23 |
| Awesome |
|
16 |
| Good |
|
4 |
| Ok |
|
2 |
| pretty bad |
|
3 |
| Total: | 100% | 48 vote(s) |
![[Image: 85495087.jpg]](https://imageshack.us/a/img43/8923/85495087.jpg)
Nice chapter. I like the way you added a bit of humour but you still made battle epic.
Does everyone know the song reference in the last chapter? This was probably a weird one. I don't think any beyblade has beaten Crust Pizza on the weirdness metre. Thinking of another food bey so Pizza and it can verse each other.
![[Image: izUeN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/izUeN.png)
chips?
![[Image: JCx06-Driger.jpg]](https://content.screencast.com/users/justin.chung/folders/Default/media/af847311-67cf-47b3-97b1-0b13d00c1ab7/JCx06-Driger.jpg)
Pretty awesome story, just read through all five chapters and I can't wait for the sixth. Keep it up bro.
I was thinking more of a cake because it is more circular. Candles on the side burn, other beys, that kinda thing.
I have updated the request system so some people might want to be aware. Not so much as how to request but the things I can do with your request.
I have updated the request system so some people might want to be aware. Not so much as how to request but the things I can do with your request.
how about crust pizza vs crunchy chips
Maybe we don't have to worry 'bout it right now as it will still be a long time before I plan on having the battle.
RowDog, not to be snobbish or anything, but you were talking about how many grammar mistakes I have in my story, while you have many, many more in one paragraph. It's an OK concept, but it just needs better presentation. Also, like many others have said, slow it down! I feel like this is a show on fast forward. Be more descriptive of things, and maybe have a little more space between battles. I know that these next couple of parts are going to be all battle, but after then, put in more non-battle chapters. It will help develop the plot and characters more. But all-in-all, this is better than about 75% of the stories I see 'round these parts. I do like the humor in this. Definitely keep writing this!
I don't mind criticism Titan Writer. The only problem is I can't be bothered reading through the whole story again and being extra picky because there is such a length to it. The problem I had with yours is it's so small that you should have had time to reread it and check before posting. What you have done is good just make sure there is more. And I know that I have started this off choppy. It isn't too good yet but I just want to get to the part were my antagonists are introduced and the first few battles unfortunately are irrelevant to the majority of the main plotline so I want to get it out of the way.
hey Rowdog when is the next chapter
Part 1 of Chapter Six out. Thought you guys would like it if I released the first part of it sooner. Working on the next half. Not much depth at the moment but I promise some of that will come in the next chapters.
i have a character request.
name: Alex Holasha
bey:Black Hole PegasusWC245 MB/MF
type: attack
Face: metallic silver pegasus image with a dark purple backround
clear wheel: just like pegasus 3 except the wings stick out farther than the metal wheel. metal wheel:a combination of big bang,galaxy and storm color:black
spin track: Wide Claw 245 six rows of very long claws which are made of metal. tip: Metal ball/Metal flat changes whenever Alex comands
by the way, great story
name: Alex Holasha
bey:Black Hole PegasusWC245 MB/MF
type: attack
Face: metallic silver pegasus image with a dark purple backround
clear wheel: just like pegasus 3 except the wings stick out farther than the metal wheel. metal wheel:a combination of big bang,galaxy and storm color:black
spin track: Wide Claw 245 six rows of very long claws which are made of metal. tip: Metal ball/Metal flat changes whenever Alex comands
by the way, great story
![[Image: eminemsignew.png]](https://i1121.photobucket.com/albums/l505/spartandranzer/eminemsignew.png)
(Sep. 07, 2011 12:16 AM)Sparta Wrote:Yeah but it is only if I am really desperate. The fact is almost none of the main characters will be requests, only if I need a couple of more people that I can't think of another character for a country.(Aug. 11, 2011 9:13 AM)RowDog Wrote: I don't mind criticism Titan Writer.
Oh my Haruhi.
You are my hero.
You accepted criticism when it was given. I now officially respect you to the fullest.
On the other hand, you have character requests (I think)
So you just lost it.
Then you should PM someone (Like me) about it and ask for permission to use one of mine. Still better than CR
Sorry, I just hate those. A pet peeve if you will, I just cannot stand CR.
Sorry, I just hate those. A pet peeve if you will, I just cannot stand CR.
If anyone is wandering when the next chapter is coming out I'll just tell you now that I have a quite a bit of work cut out for me right now. I started a spriting tournament, entered a writing tournament and my parents keep nagging me about homework and I can't get around to this right now. I'm not ending the story, I'm just not continuing it for a little bit.
Could you put in :
Blader C-J(chinese - japanese)
From
obvious) born in china, raised in japan. Was friends with Blader DJ.
Bey type : balance
Bey: crimson sakurai WS135 FinalSharpBall
Description: in this bey, sakurai is the metal wheel which has 5 thick red petals, and crimson is red and is circular. It's design is a dragon which starts from the head and ends at the tail(circle) which provides good weight distribution and stamina. Sakurai gives good smash attack. Track is a track that is outspread like BD145 but with a circular Wavey(curves up and down) with tightly packed together saws(like dark) . Tip has WB but a wide BS in the middle, outwards. It can retract a bit to form a fully smooth WB. It can further retract to form a slightly bigger HF. Face is red and depicts a sakura with a curled-up front-facing dragon
Blader C-J(chinese - japanese)
From
obvious) born in china, raised in japan. Was friends with Blader DJ. Bey type : balance
Bey: crimson sakurai WS135 FinalSharpBall
Description: in this bey, sakurai is the metal wheel which has 5 thick red petals, and crimson is red and is circular. It's design is a dragon which starts from the head and ends at the tail(circle) which provides good weight distribution and stamina. Sakurai gives good smash attack. Track is a track that is outspread like BD145 but with a circular Wavey(curves up and down) with tightly packed together saws(like dark) . Tip has WB but a wide BS in the middle, outwards. It can retract a bit to form a fully smooth WB. It can further retract to form a slightly bigger HF. Face is red and depicts a sakura with a curled-up front-facing dragon
![[Image: powerangeryan.png]](https://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x339/dommund/powerangeryan.png)