World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Printable Version

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The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - May. 19, 2011

The World Spins like a Bey.


We are the World Spinners. A Beyblade spins. The World spins. The world spins like our beys. Some might say our beyblades spin the Earth. Then it is our job that the world doesn’t stop spinning.


Please Read some of the feedback before determining whether or not you can be bothered reading it or check the reviews it got on the 'Renegade Reviews' thread
Chapter One: The BeyBash
Chapter Two: The Grand Finale
Chapter Three: The Ace in the Hall
Chapter Four: The World Spinners
Chapter Five: Pizza Pizza Please
Chapter Six
Tell me what you think.
I will try to get at least a chapter up each fortnight (maybe more if you are lucky)
Now excepting character requests!Joyful_2
For your character request you must mention:



RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - May. 19, 2011

*sigh* no one reads my story. I bet everyone skips it once they realise how big the first chapter is and can't be bothered reading it.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - 4D - May. 19, 2011

No worries!i like the concept of it.its actually a good story



Kepp it up


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Xlr8 - May. 19, 2011

nice story dude


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Ninja Crab - May. 22, 2011

perfect man brilliant


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Naitrax - May. 22, 2011

(May. 19, 2011  10:24 AM)RowDog Wrote:
The World Spins like a Bey.

Yeah this my bey story.
Chapter One: The BeyBash

Tell me what you think.
I will release a new chapter each week or maybe even more.
Not excepting character ideas just yet but maybe later but for now I want to use my own characters.
I edited the story parts that were grammatical errors


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Sparta - May. 22, 2011

Wow! Unlike most WBO authors, you actually have some detail mixed with the dialogue! That's good, but now your challenge is to find the perfect balance so your descriptions don't seem out of place. Also, character development is something you should consider. Make a list of all of the traits of your characters, and make sure they adhere to those traits throughout the story, unless you want them to gradually change.

A great story, all in all.

EDIT: You used the word bloke. You wouldn't happen to be english, would you?


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Cool Blader - May. 22, 2011

PERFECT STORY DUDE


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Hope - May. 23, 2011

Great story RowDog I manage to read throught it all.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - SpiffyStu - May. 23, 2011

Gasp Did I really just read the best bey story ever?! AWESOME!!!Eee Loved every minute of reading it! I can't wait for the next chapter to come out!Wink


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - May. 23, 2011

Thanks everyone for your comments on the story and thankyou Naitrax for being extra picky. As you will find out later Sparta, Daniel turns out to be english. Chapter 2 out today: The Grand Finale. I will put each chapter in the OP to avoid looking around for the next chapter.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - SpiffyStu - May. 23, 2011

Sweet! The second was just as awesome as the first. I'm definitely going to be following this story!Stupid


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - S.D.C - May. 24, 2011

This is actually an ok story. I think the storyline is clever but could be developing too quickly, the ideas are all good, lots of though put into it. All in all, a great story.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Cygnus - May. 24, 2011

That was brilliant. My only comment would be to put more description in the battles, etc. Angel was gone. Everyone looked amazed at the sight of the spinning bey falling from the sun.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - May. 25, 2011

I see your point but I think I have still done a better job than a lot of other people's descriptions. I will try and put that into my next chapters.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Sparta - May. 25, 2011

(May. 25, 2011  1:06 AM)RowDog Wrote: I see your point but I think I have still done a better job than a lot of other people's descriptions. I will try and put that into my next chapters.

Trust me, there is a lot of carp on the WBO, and your story is not nearly in that category. It's great, but I'd like to see more character development. I want you to lock in a strong personality type for him and adhere to it unless you expect him to gradually change.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Naitrax - May. 25, 2011

(May. 23, 2011  11:09 AM)RowDog Wrote: Thanks everyone for your comments on the story and thankyou Naitrax for being extra picky. As you will find out later Sparta Daniel turns out to be english. Chapter 2 out today: The Grand Finale. I will put each chapter in the OP to avoid looking around for the next chapter.

*wide grin* EeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEee


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - May. 25, 2011

(May. 25, 2011  1:09 AM)Sparta Wrote:
(May. 25, 2011  1:06 AM)RowDog Wrote: I see your point but I think I have still done a better job than a lot of other people's descriptions. I will try and put that into my next chapters.

Trust me, there is a lot of carp on the WBO, and your story is not nearly in that category. It's great, but I'd like to see more character development. I want you to lock in a strong personality type for him and adhere to it unless you expect him to gradually change.
I will go in to more character depth when I go deeper into the story. Good character depth should form during the story, not everything at the beginning. These first 3 chapters might be a bit quick but that can help to grab a reader's interest. Then they are willing to read on they will learn more about the characters.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - SpiffyStu - May. 27, 2011

When is the third chapter coming out?Chocked_2


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - Jun. 05, 2011

Sorry for the long wait guys (if anyone is still reading this) homework and stuff.
So... YAY chapter 3 is out!
Now taking character requests!!! YAY! Considering it has gone global they will have to be from a country and stuff. Remember I might not be able to take everyone's request under consideration so don't be to ashamed if I never used your character.


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Ninja Crab - Jun. 05, 2011

Country: Australia
Name Gender: Edan Male
Bey: Swamp Crocodile T125WD
Bey Type: Defense
Personality: Very outgoing, does the talk but can do the walk loves saying "im awesome" ,not the smartest kid but not stupid, always has a smart comment and close his eyes and gives a grin alot
Physical: Black dreadlocks, orange eyes only has two shirts one that has in purple letters XD and another that says its not my fault im so awesome wears tatted blue jeans with holes where the knees

Edit Special move: King crocodile terroring blast LOL jks
but seriously snaring teeth snap


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - Jun. 06, 2011

Cool. I was brainstorming for a fusion wheel for a crocodile for the Australian team and I have already thought of two other bladers for Australia.

What do you guys think the first country they go to should be?


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Ninja Crab - Jun. 06, 2011

Italy because everybody loves PIZZA!!!!!


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - RowDog - Jun. 06, 2011

Ok, sounds like a plan. Now I'll need ideas for bladers and beys. How about Crust Pizza Base130F? (lol jokes...unless you like it)


RE: The World Spins like a Bey [Bey Story] - Kujikato - Jun. 06, 2011

Muahaha the Chinese team, so eah, 4 characters and they are all from China


Name: Izuma Inzori
Name: Sonai Inzori
Name: Hatachi Inzori
Name: Rez Inzori