The Legend of the beys: the lost blader- incomplete

not sure what i can do with those 2, more so the one that was said to be the main character's brother since the main character don't meet his brothers till near the end.
okay, I think I should try to come up with a villain, seems like you really need it
Name: Agateo(Aa-ga-tay-oh) Yamamoto
Beyblade: Screw Knight L(light)85rf
Type:Attack
Age:17
Description: Brown hair lengthy , fair skin, average height(probably 5'8 , he most likely already hit his growth spurt). He wears a plain gray T-shirt, baggy jeans and boots. He's got quite the build in muscle mass, but it's nothing too special. His personality? Well he isn't a sadist like those stereotypical villains/henchmen. He's actually a pretty nice guy once you get to know him a little better. The only reason he hunts other beys down(yes, he does hunt beys down, usually breaks them) is because he needs the money to keep his brother in school(which is Twitch, see what I did thar?). Too bad his brother doesn't remember him.

Bey Description: Knights energy ring looks like a bunch of knight Armour, and his face bolt resembles Perseus', but with a bigger helmet. Screw was given to it since it was rumored to have maximum upper smash, since none of his normal spin tracks(as in 100,105,125 etc..) were too high for upper to actually succeed, he uses a L85 track, which is significantly lighter than almost all tracks available. RF was attached because mf was too high also, and having something used for upper smash can't be tall. Furthermore, Agateo uses a sniper launcher(unlike his brother whos only gear is the standard light launcher) an angel compass, and a launcher grip to maximize his abilities.

Special move(s): Screw uppercut, tuner(helps the bey get back some spin), and (the strongest of them all)final slash(once used, knight stops and falls)

honestly, I find him extremely overpowered! But which villains aren't huh?
interesting character soopah. i just finished ch 2 at school, so here it is, it introduces a few more characters, 2 not by me:

ch 2: answers of the past
The letter was apparently an invitation, which led Dracoon to an old ware house. he noticed in the corner of his eye, a newly painted helicopter pad. When he went inside there was only one light on. As he got closer he noticed the the light shone on a bey stadium about 1 meter across and half a meter deep. Suddenly a door opened on the other end of the building. Dracoon hid in the shadows. A boy only about a year older then Dracoon walked in. As the boy got closer, Dracoon noticed that the boy had a scar across his left eye that every time he blinked the scar was completed. Dracoon got a sneaky idea. When the scared boy got close to the stadium with the same confused look as Dracoon had, Dracoon's idea was put in to motion. he jumped out of the shadows saying "boo!" and scared the poor boy half to death. Dracoon bust out a childish laugh he hadn't had for 5 years. "heavens to Betsey, why did you do that?" said the boy in a quite British accent. "Oh i haven't laughed that hard in half a decade," dracoon answered. They started to talk, revealing that the boy was commonly referred to as Scar.
They soon heard a helicopter land next to them (thus revealing what the landing pad was for). A man in a suite and a young woman walked in. The man had a greeting face but the woman looked as confused to be there as Dracoon and scar. "Greetings" said the man," i see you got the letters Dracoon and Scar, may i call you two that?" Dracoon was the first to ask. "How do you know our names!?" "We have been watching you guys for years, ever since the worse days of your lives," explained the man, "by the way the name is Michal." It was scar's turn to talk. "the worst day of our lives? the worst day of my life was when my house burnt down 3 years ago." Dracoon was shocked to hear this, the same thing happened to him 5 years ago! "exactly, the day your house burned down and you got that scar a flame wolf," said Michal, "the boy next to you had his house burnt down 5 years ago where he got a scar on his leg and the girl next to me had her house burnt down by her uncle while she was at a beach party."
"So we are all here because our houses were burnt down?" asked the girl next to him, Dracoon thought she knew as much as he and Scar did. "No Chloe, your all here because your houses were all burnt down by beyblades, actually more like a beyblade," answered Michal. "What!?" yelled 3 young people people in the building. "yep, we think that there is an organization causing these fires with a single bey and that Chloe's uncle is part of it, as i already told her on the way here."Interesting," said Dracoon. "Now, who would like a beybattle!?" announced Michal.

And that's it, woo that took an hour to type.
hmm interesting, well doe sthis micheal end up being a part of this organization and try to murder scar and dracoon, then comet comes with shadow and both dissapear again...
no Michal is the leader of the good guy team, the complete opposite of the beyblade arsonist. ha ha i just made up that arsonist name on the spot.
I like this, I like this a lot. So I take it that Shannie's female character made it into the story huh? Seeing how there is one female character. But nevertheless, this seems like a pretty good story, keep it up
I often got lost in the text. Maybe add space between ? And if a character have names or nickname that spesific objects or things, please write them with a capital letter. Like the character scar, please write his nickname/name Scar with a capital S. Just sayin' Tongue_out
i was going to do the capital letter thing but i was too tired at the end of the whole thing i couldn't be bothered do that, ill try that now.
Name: Jackson
Gender: is obviously male
Bey: Lunar Raven (or Corus) AGBD 145 (Armor Gravity Bowl Defense) WSD (Wide Semi Defense).
Special attacks:Lunar barrage, which is when Lunar Raven's speed increases rotation and glows black to give the illusion of it disappearing and then it starts it's attack run by making a figure 8 then switching to a flower pattern while attacking viciously. Solar Eclipse, when lunar raven moves to the middle of the stadium and then emits waves of energy out in walls to defend itself while pushing the opponent away from itself. Lunar eclipse, is when the lunar raven (usually after solar eclipse) Is in the center and balances out to unleash significantly smaller waves of energy and waits for the opponent to attack. once the the enemy is near enough it emits a strong series of energy waves under itself to launch itself into the air with the opposing bey and then making a quick flip it smashes the opposing bey into the stadium floor using it's tip.

sorry for the long details on the three special attacks.

Character personality: He is good tempered, good humored, and a team player. He only uses his ultimate special attack (lunar barrage) when he has to. He is also a masamune wanna be. (like sora is with ginga)

Country: USA
Team: Genesis Bladers.
i realy don't have any idea on how to use that character.
wait, you said my character was interesting right? does that mean that at least one of the two will be in the story?
proberbly, im going to write ch 3 this weekend.
Oh wait, you asked for more female characters too right?K i'll see what I can do
Name: Yumi
Age: 14
Gender: well I just said I would try to make a female character so...
Beyblade: Blizzard Andromeda D145MSF(metal semi flat)
Type: balance
Description: The typical tomboy girl. Not the inappropriate ones, but the perky, tiny ones. She's always up-beat, never taking anything seriously, but that's why people like her so much. She's always cracking a joke, trying to lighten the mood. Yumi's always wearing what's new, as long as it isn't anything skimpy though. Like I said, she's tiny(probably like 5'1 or some stuff), you can see her wearing a jacket, short-jeans, and a T-shirt. What sets her off from almost looking like a guy(besides her chest..) is her long flowing black hair. So, most guys like her. Now on to the bey itself.
Bey Description: Blizzard performs like flame, but with spikes(as it's shaped like snowflakes next to each other), it's just as thin as flame too. Andromeda's face bolt shows Andromeda(one of the actual 88 constellations) sitting in her throne, the energy wheel shows some kind of crown decor, and is a metallic gold color. Metal semi-flat, is semi-flat....but metal, just for an easy pace, and it's hard to brake, due to it being metal and all. Er... that's actually it.
Special moves: Frozen assault(the blade gets ice cold, making it harder, and repeatedly attacking the other bey), blizzard suicide( Andromeda freezes both beys until they're unable to move, it's a last resort thing)
ps. all my characters I make here know each other in some way, Yumi goes to school with Twitch, they're actually quite good friends, and has seen Agateo sitting in trees watching them, just thinking he's some kind of creeper.
so far everyone of your characters is good soopha. even if you didn't add that section at the end the description i would have put it in the same conditions.
really? Well, thanks! that sure put a smile on my face :3
okay, I know I already made 3, but this is just too fun
Name: Hinata
Age:15
Gender: male(Hinata can be a guy or a girls name, fyi, I know a guy named Hinata)
Beyblade: Night Aries BS145(bombshell)RHF(rubber hole flat )
Type: Stamina
Description: A trusty street merchant, many know of the great Hinata, although most mistaken him for a girl(due to his name and all). He's seen in a brown leather jacket with his sleeves pulled up, a white undershirt, cargo pants, black tennis shoes, and a flat cap. He has a slightly dark complection, beady hair. But this guy has it all, anything you can name(well beyblade parts and stuff like that). He's also seen flirting with Yumi a lot, but disregarding that, this guy has many, MANY supplies for people, he's supplies whoever he feels he wants to, at EXTREMELY cheap prices! If you need anything bey related then he's the guy to go to. Theirs only one condition though, you have to be able to beat him in a bey battle. Which can be extremely difficult. Due to Aries great stamina
Bey Description: Night is the fusion wheel that comes with Night Virgo, he felt like he needed the fusion wheel rather than others ones. Aries energy wheel and facebolt are just what they normally look like. Bombshell is a bigger than normal marble, looking like a small bombshell, giving it weight so that it won't be too fast, and makes it have a normal spin.
Special move: Shadow ram(Aries disappears then re-appears, just like him and tackles the opponent)
ho ho ho, i should make you the official character creator for this story. i know exactly where to put this guy.
heh, they just come to mind when i'm bored ^^'', but being told that my characters will be mentioned in the story makes me happy Grin
you make me want to write my story more and more. im going to start on ch 3 today, after ch 4 is where soopah characters start to come in.
really? That's really nice, if I have any characters that I come up with, i'll make sure that i'll tell you!
Hey, I got another villain, and I know this can get overwhelming, but I thought this would be interesting
Name: Christopher Mellow
Age: 17
Beyblade: Chainsaw Wolverine M(motor)90 MF
Description: Chris wears boots, jeans, and a WBBA hoodie, he has a pale complection, and has shaggy brown hair.Chris is like Agateo's partner, they go around everywhere, and battle opponents together. Chris is actually stronger than Agateo, but jealous that he can't control his temper like Agateo(the irony is in the last name). But disregarding that, Chris and Agateo are great friends, they grew up with each other, kind of like twins, the only reason Chris joined the evil bad guy things was because Agateo joined, and he wanted to watch his back in case anybody stronger than him came by. He also uses the same gear as Agateo(but he has a string launcher instead of a sniper launcher)
Bey Description: Chainsaw is a free spinning blade, having a steel hard chain all around, making it hard for opponents to land a direct hit on wolverine, but making devastating hits on the opponent. Wolverines energy ring is like Wolfs, but weighs less(at 2 grams), and his facebolt resembles orso's, but replace the bear with a wolverine. Motor is an actual motor giving wolverine increased stamina, it activates when wolverine starts to lose spin, and gives it back amazing speed, and mf is just there for a speedy attack. Motor is the heaviest spin track, slowing the bey down a bit so it doesn't fly out the stadium on accident.
Special move(s): Chainsaw massacre(wolverine slices the other bey in half, literally), and Motor gas(m125 fills the arena with smoke, making it harder for the opponent to see, but not wolverine, so he can land a strike without others seeing him), and Gas slick( slips some oil on the ground, making the other beys wobble from the oils slick), if he uses the motor moves(motor gas, gas slick) before he loses spin, the motor won't work, and if he uses the moves after he regains spin, he can only use each move once, oh and at the end, he usually has to refill the motor with oil
I just go a little character idea. Maybe you like it, maybe not. This is just an idea I got right now:

Name: Jack Green/Bey Master
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
Beyblade: Matrix Revolt ???

Bio: Jack is a video game fanatic and a program genius. He have a Web-Side where he can help Bladers perfect their strategies or customization. He goes by the Nickname of Bey Master beacues he feels that it his job to help Bladers over the world. He have also find a way to gain scores from all Bladers in the world so he also have an offical Leaderboard where people can check whos on top. His Beyblade is "Matrix Revolt" as he likes to call it. It's stats are unknow and he isn't even on the Leaderboards which makes people doubt that he actually know everything about Beyblades.

I know you liked the first character I made up. Hopefully you would like this one too. Remembers that you can by all means change this character to your liking.
good to both of you, i think im running out of room and i only have like 4 bad guys. ok no more characters till after ch4.
oh okay, just to clarify things, you do know that Chris is a villain-ish character right?