The Guardians of Lux (Non-Beyblade related story)

CnC? Thoughts? Kinda new to this.

Chapter 1 (Click to View)
Chapter 2 (Click to View)
Chapter 3 (Click to View)
Chapter 4 (Click to View)
More coming soon.
Not bad, I'm a beginner too so I know can't really say anything bad.
The one thing I love in Stories in Dialog. Hope to see dialog in future chapters.
I was focusing on introducing the main character in the first chapter, then gradually going into more complex situations.
Hmmm... I really think this story's gonna go well! Keep up the good work...
Chapter 2 should be up either later today or tomorrow.
Chapter 2 is up! Sorry it's a bit short, I wanted to leave you guys with a cliffhanger Tongue_out
Wow, I really like that chapter!!

It is actually interesting me very much! Smile
Thanks! I'm working on Chapter 3 now.
Not bad, good job again Tech!
Love It! LOL I don't know why but this reminds me of The Hunger Games. Maybe that's why I love it.
Chapter 3 is up now! Finally going to sleep, getting blood drawn in a few hours...
Chap. 4 is in the works.

EDIT: I'm introducing a new female character. Also, since I'm typing in a guys point of view, a few things won't sound like me...
Chap 4 is done and up! It's a bit short, just for suspense.
Cool! I liked it!

Good job again...
I think I am finally rid of that horrible writers block.
Lol, thanks! With my help?
Yeah thanks to you I am almost done with Chapter 2. Haha.
Dialogue needs its own line such as

I'm walking down a street. I see a friend
"Hi friend," I say.
He waves at me.
He says, "Hello friend."
It's not required, though. Everyone has a different style of writing.
Sorry this thread has been so inactive guys, I've had serious writer's block. I'll have more time now that a few things have blown over