{Chap 6 is up}Before My Bey Stop Spinning [An original beyblade story]

Poll: How is the story?

The Worst
Total: 100% 4 vote(s)
Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:

Characters Discription:
I'm also taking Character request. Right now i need some bad guy hitch men for Jackson.
You have a few grammar mistakes, other than that it seems pretty good.
Quote:Kirk ran as was as his little legs can take them.
Found a spelling (I'm guessing) error. Now , assuming English is your first language use Word or a program that checks grammar and spelling mistakes. If English is not your first language don't use google translate unless you've run out of options. I suggest if someone on this site knows.

The story seems good. I liked Chapter 2, but chapter 1 I was a little confused. I don't always use proper grammar in my stories, but it's for an effect. It makes it looks more dramatic. Hope this critiquing helps!
I understand it. PM me if you want me to fix the mistakes. Tongue_out
Chapter 5 has just been released
Chapter 6 is now released
Two things. A minor thing, it says its am original beyblade story but it has mfb in it...the other thing is spelling and grammar. There are a lot of mistakes but if you fix that it will be a pretty good story.
Just add a character list, for all the people who still don't understand the characthers.
umm... hate to be a grammar nazi, but your prologue...
Quote:In a world where a war between good and evil DESTROYS the world, a 14 year old boy named X proves his worth to the Starbladers, and FOLLOWS his DESTINY to greatness. Will X (I removed a comma here) and his pal Kirk lead the StarBladers to victory?
things in all caps are things that are fixed here and should be fixed in the story. Same with this one below.
Quote:No one knows how or why it STARTED, but the GOVERNMENT HAS no control over it. Out of nowhere a group of bladers called the StarBladers. But all that did was make the war worst. when will it end, but more important how would it end?
and please also add a period after sentences, like below. Also, the quotation didn't have enough breaks. It was a run-on sentence.
Quote:"X guys wait up!" Kirk said running after X
unchanged version above
changed version below
Quote:"X! Guys! wait up!" Kirk said running after X.
please edit these. If I find more mistakes I'll show you. Other than the type-o's, your story has good dialogue and enough flow to draw attention.