World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

The Great Beyblade Story

Poll: Do you like my story?

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No, I do not like it.
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Feb. 19, 2011  4:55 AM
 
I am so sorry that thew chapter is not up today. These things take time, and I did not have this time today. I will try my vest to get the next chapter up before the end of the weekend. Again, I really tried to get the chapter up today.

It will be be up by the end of the weekend.
Thank you,
~Liam
Feb. 20, 2011  1:47 AM
 
Here it is! It took a while though I am finally done it.

Chapter 7: The Knowaglable Achilles

"Well, well. You are better that I expected." Xad said. "We may have tied, but it does not mean this over" Mark replied. "I know. One thing is for certain, that we will meet again. But for now, bye bye. Hahahahahahaha!" Xad said while running away. "What just happened?" Asked a familiar voice. "Whirlpool! Your back!" Mark said. "Where is everyone else?" Whirlpool asked. "I told them to leave me alone for this battle so they would not get hurt." Mark answered. "Maybe we should find a place to rest." Whirpool said. "Could I be of any help?" Kyum asked while appering out of nowhere. "Do you have anywhere for us to stay for a while?" Mark asked. "Well, I do have a palace you can stay at. Ride my blizzard and you will be there in no time." Kyum replied. "Thanks, Kyum." Mark said. "Are you ready, every one? Because here we go!" Kyum exclaimed while carring herself and the two boys with her.

"Wow, Kyum. You have a great palace." Breil complemented. "Oh, why thank you. Kyum replied with joy. "Now, let us preceed to the main room." The main room was a giant room with pictures of winter animals. "So, how are we going to figure out how to stop the Black Wolves? We need some sort of game plan." Mark discuessed. "Well, we could sneak into the base of the Black Wolves." Kevin suggested. "We just tried that." Jake reminded Kevin. "What?!? Since when?" Kevin pushed on. "Don`t you remember? We met up with you Mark, confronted Xad and Lupus, Than Mark Had a big battle Xad, Only to find out about how Xad got Stealth Shadow and how he killed my parents." Whirlpool added on to Jake`s comment. "We need answers." Mark demaned. "Well, I do know someone who has a vast amount of knowledge, and not just about the Black Wolves." Kyum said. "Really, well who is he, and where is he?" Mark asked. "How about I send you there on a wind." Kyum responded while whisking away the four boys.

"Where are we?" Briel asked. "I will answer that for you." Someone said from a distance. "Who are you?" Whirlpool inquired. " I am Ray Komata. And this is Kara Mountian." Ray answered. "Now then what do you want?" Ray asked. "we need you to join us. To stop the Black Wolves." Breil replied. "Well, you would have to be pretty good bladers to get me to join you. So show how good you are in a battle!" Ray responded. "I will take him myself." Breil said. "Three!" Ray yelled. "Two!" Briel hollered. "One! Let It Rip!" The three yelled.

"Go! Libra!" Breil ordered. Libra started hitting Achilles hard. "Why is it not doing anything?" Breil wondered. As Libra was hitting Achilles harder ad harder, Achilles was not moving at all. In fact, His spin was not going down a bit. "Achilles, fight back!" Ray commanded. Suddenly, Achilles counterattacked With the most powerful attack Breil has ever seen. "Libra, Special Move! Green Tornado!" Breil called out in desparation. This guy was tough. Nothing worked on him. Like an unmovable object. Libra started swirling around in a tornado pattern sending rocks flying around the stadium. Pebbles to boulders. But not even the biggest boulders could harm Achilles. "Finish This! Special Move! Achilles Sword Dancer! From being rooted in one place, Achilles moving around amazing speed and agility. He ran through all of Libra`s attacks and smashed into Libra with fierce power. "Libra!" Breil yelled. Libra was sent flying out of the stadium.

"I lost. I can`t believe I lost." Breil said. "Well that ends that." Ray said with satisfaction. "No, it is not." Kevin said. "You, me. Battle right now" Kevin challenged Ray. "Alright then, let`s get this started." Ray accepted. "Three! Two! One! Let It Rip!" Kevin and Ray yelled.
_______________________________________________

I am so happy I got this done. The next Chapter will be up tomorrow.
Feb. 20, 2011  8:41 PM
 
I just want to know, do any of you guys want me to stop writing this story? I am just wondering since my number of views has not been going up, nor any new posts beside my own. So, please. Post if you want me to continue.

That is all,
~Liam

P.S.
I never though writing would be this hard, so from now on, there will be a new chapter every week.
Feb. 20, 2011  10:17 PM
 
I want you to continue
Feb. 20, 2011  11:04 PM
 
(Feb. 06, 2011  8:12 PM)Super Peacock Wrote: Jakes Prologue

Chapter 2: The Wolf's Fangs

Jake rushed out of the cave and saw beys flying everywhere. "Okay Peafowl, time to show me your power! Let It Rip!" Jake yelled. Peafowl was amazing, sending beys flying everywhere. "Hey, you there. You seem to have a talent for beyblading. Maybe you would like to show me and wolf your power.". A mysterous voice called from somewhere.
"Show yourself." Jake yelled. "If you wish.". A man in a black robes lept down from one of the zoo building and said "I am Lupus. the leader of the Black Wolfs. If you wish to have your mom back and save all these people, you will have to beat me. Let it rip!". "Let it Rip!" Yelled Jake. "Go, Midnight Wolf!" Ordered Lupus. "Strike back, Peafowl!" Jake Ordered back. The two hit each other head on. Wolf was pushing forward, but Peafowl was not losing and stamina. "So it a stamina type, eh. Well I've got a way to solve that. Special move! Driving Fang Upper!" Lupus yelled! Suddenly, Wolf launch itself into the air, carrying peafowl with it. Peafowl headed back down to earth, while Wolf landed safely. It seemed like all hope was lost but Jake and Peafowl Haven't given up just yet. "I must say, you are a very strong blader, though it won't be enough to beat me! Special Move! Peafowl Rainbow Dance!" Jake yelled. Peafowl stared spinning faster and faster, until suddenly, a peacock sprouted from Jake's beyblade and let out a beautiful screech and threw up all of its tail feathers, releasing rays of light. It was magnifacint, the most elegant thing ever seen! More importanly, it was winning the battle! Lupus became confused, and Wolf was sent flying out of the staduim. The battle was over. Jake had won.
[quote='Ray Gill' pid='537981' dateline='1297018730']
Name:Xad Leurc III
BeyConfusedtealth shadow S80 S
Shadow Face:A menicing shadow with the word "shadow" on top
Shadow wheel:Think of a black pegasus wheel, then make it more spickey
Stealth wheel:Think vulcan + mercury, then color it in jet black
S(plit)80:An 80 with a thin titaniam disc around it.
S(talk):Has a computer chip in it that homes in on the nerest bey to mimic it's movement.

Dark moveConfusedplice
Shadow uses S80 to slice the other bey in half

Xad wears a black cape, black pants and dark red shirt.Short black hair.Red eyes.Likes to transform his opponents from happy bladers to miserable shells of people.
Age:16
I do not like the fact that it slices the bey in half, though that just adds on to the creppy effect! Ray Gil, Welcome to the great beyblade story, cause you're in!
(Feb. 06, 2011  7:36 PM)brielyranger Wrote: here:

Name: (No one know his name so they just call him Whirpool)
Bey: Whirpool Poseidon T120 RB
Look: Blue jeans, white T-shirt, blue jacket, blue hair.

Bey description: The metal wheel whirpool is blue and is shaped like whirpool waves in the outside and some pop up waves near the middle in the inside. The clear wheel is blue and is a whirpool. T120 (trident 120) is a blue 120 with four small gold tridents. RB (rubber ball) is a rubber ball. The facebolt is blue with a gold trident and two waves behind. Is a very powerfull bey.

Whirpool description: He is a 15 year old mysterious guy. No one knows nothing about him. Is a very good guy but no one talks with him. Whirpool is very strong blader and always is blading. He found Whirpool Poseidon when he was 8 yaers old. He was in a ship and a giant whirpool appear in front. The ship sunk and all his family died. He was the only one who survived. Under the sea he found his bey. Since then he is all mysterious.

Special Move: Giant Golden Whirpool. Appears water in the stadium and then Whirpool Poseidon Makes a giant whirpool . The tridents in his track get bigger.

He is a good guy.

Name: Briel
Beblade: Green Libra 100 WB ( Green Is like rock but bigger and green ) The bey is all green.
Special Move: Green Tornado. Libra makes a green tornado turning all things green and blowing the opponent bey away.
Look: He is obssesed with green. Green hair (hair is like ginka's), Green T shirt, Green jeans, Green shoes, Green skin.
He is a very strong blader and wants to get even stronger. He play all the time but when is time to get serius he get serius. And he is very very smart. He is good

Briel is 13 year old. From little he is beyblading. His bey was flame libra. When he was 6 there was a big explotion in his town and his fathers die. Since then he have been around the world beyblading and getting strong. In a town Green Libra felt from the sky hit him in the head. Flame libra disapered. When trainign with the very powerfull Green Libra 100WB the bey caused an explotion that turn him green.
Since then he uses his clothes all green.

They are best friends friends. They are friends since the fathers of Briel die.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The combonation of two elements is nice, You are in.
there should be an charactar neme Mence chronos he's a blader with an beyblade called Gardian Tigrey and he finds the main charactar as an friend and battles an blader who has an bey called mercury kebreks
Feb. 22, 2011  2:01 AM
 
whens the next chapter?
Feb. 22, 2011  2:29 AM
 
Some time During later this week.
(Feb. 20, 2011  11:04 PM)brandoncyz Wrote:
(Feb. 06, 2011  8:12 PM)Super Peacock Wrote: Jakes Prologue

Chapter 2: The Wolf's Fangs

Jake rushed out of the cave and saw beys flying everywhere. "Okay Peafowl, time to show me your power! Let It Rip!" Jake yelled. Peafowl was amazing, sending beys flying everywhere. "Hey, you there. You seem to have a talent for beyblading. Maybe you would like to show me and wolf your power.". A mysterous voice called from somewhere.
"Show yourself." Jake yelled. "If you wish.". A man in a black robes lept down from one of the zoo building and said "I am Lupus. the leader of the Black Wolfs. If you wish to have your mom back and save all these people, you will have to beat me. Let it rip!". "Let it Rip!" Yelled Jake. "Go, Midnight Wolf!" Ordered Lupus. "Strike back, Peafowl!" Jake Ordered back. The two hit each other head on. Wolf was pushing forward, but Peafowl was not losing and stamina. "So it a stamina type, eh. Well I've got a way to solve that. Special move! Driving Fang Upper!" Lupus yelled! Suddenly, Wolf launch itself into the air, carrying peafowl with it. Peafowl headed back down to earth, while Wolf landed safely. It seemed like all hope was lost but Jake and Peafowl Haven't given up just yet. "I must say, you are a very strong blader, though it won't be enough to beat me! Special Move! Peafowl Rainbow Dance!" Jake yelled. Peafowl stared spinning faster and faster, until suddenly, a peacock sprouted from Jake's beyblade and let out a beautiful screech and threw up all of its tail feathers, releasing rays of light. It was magnifacint, the most elegant thing ever seen! More importanly, it was winning the battle! Lupus became confused, and Wolf was sent flying out of the staduim. The battle was over. Jake had won.
[quote='Ray Gill' pid='537981' dateline='1297018730']
Name:Xad Leurc III
BeyConfusedtealth shadow S80 S
Shadow Face:A menicing shadow with the word "shadow" on top
Shadow wheel:Think of a black pegasus wheel, then make it more spickey
Stealth wheel:Think vulcan + mercury, then color it in jet black
S(plit)80:An 80 with a thin titaniam disc around it.
S(talk):Has a computer chip in it that homes in on the nerest bey to mimic it's movement.

Dark moveConfusedplice
Shadow uses S80 to slice the other bey in half

Xad wears a black cape, black pants and dark red shirt.Short black hair.Red eyes.Likes to transform his opponents from happy bladers to miserable shells of people.
Age:16
I do not like the fact that it slices the bey in half, though that just adds on to the creppy effect! Ray Gil, Welcome to the great beyblade story, cause you're in!
(Feb. 06, 2011  7:36 PM)brielyranger Wrote: here:

Name: (No one know his name so they just call him Whirpool)
Bey: Whirpool Poseidon T120 RB
Look: Blue jeans, white T-shirt, blue jacket, blue hair.

Bey description: The metal wheel whirpool is blue and is shaped like whirpool waves in the outside and some pop up waves near the middle in the inside. The clear wheel is blue and is a whirpool. T120 (trident 120) is a blue 120 with four small gold tridents. RB (rubber ball) is a rubber ball. The facebolt is blue with a gold trident and two waves behind. Is a very powerfull bey.

Whirpool description: He is a 15 year old mysterious guy. No one knows nothing about him. Is a very good guy but no one talks with him. Whirpool is very strong blader and always is blading. He found Whirpool Poseidon when he was 8 yaers old. He was in a ship and a giant whirpool appear in front. The ship sunk and all his family died. He was the only one who survived. Under the sea he found his bey. Since then he is all mysterious.

Special Move: Giant Golden Whirpool. Appears water in the stadium and then Whirpool Poseidon Makes a giant whirpool . The tridents in his track get bigger.

He is a good guy.

Name: Briel
Beblade: Green Libra 100 WB ( Green Is like rock but bigger and green ) The bey is all green.
Special Move: Green Tornado. Libra makes a green tornado turning all things green and blowing the opponent bey away.
Look: He is obssesed with green. Green hair (hair is like ginka's), Green T shirt, Green jeans, Green shoes, Green skin.
He is a very strong blader and wants to get even stronger. He play all the time but when is time to get serius he get serius. And he is very very smart. He is good

Briel is 13 year old. From little he is beyblading. His bey was flame libra. When he was 6 there was a big explotion in his town and his fathers die. Since then he have been around the world beyblading and getting strong. In a town Green Libra felt from the sky hit him in the head. Flame libra disapered. When trainign with the very powerfull Green Libra 100WB the bey caused an explotion that turn him green.
Since then he uses his clothes all green.

They are best friends friends. They are friends since the fathers of Briel die.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The combonation of two elements is nice, You are in.
there should be an charactar neme Mence chronos he's a blader with an beyblade called Gardian Tigrey and he finds the main charactar as an friend and battles an blader who has an bey called mercury kebreks

What are you talking about?
So you really want me to continue, well thank. I never Knew so many people liked my story.
Feb. 22, 2011  7:29 AM
 
hey super peacock can i be in your story

Bio:
Name:Nile Tasagi
Appearance: Orange and Brown hair a yellow Shirt and Black Jacket
personality:Headstrong,and Rough This Boy has Mastered his bey but, Cannot care less to Battle either say he plays Beyblade
Equipment he has a red 3 segment launcher and a string launcher

BeyConfusedcorching Ra F115 D:B
face:Ra the sun god It has the picture of sun with a Falcon Inside
Wheel:scorching is a unique wheel That only fits on Two beys Horuseus and Ra it is a Curved wheel and attacks are Blocked it has a small hole to fit f115
hybrid: Ra is a Diagonal wheel That is reinforced with metal with comes in two parts the second part is to hold F115 for its special move
Track:F115 11.5 mill it has a small plastic disk that touches the metal wheel it has a small flame in side that glass casing and when low on stamina it heats the bey up and preforms it s special move it is the only spin track that connects to D:B and it has a small gear to connect
Tip: D:B this tip has gears inside to increase speed when its hot the flame goes down to the tip and make it regain all stamina lost this battle it can only be used once per battle the D stands for deluxe and b for Bash this tip has incredible attack

special Move: sun Blast
Ra appears and grabs the sun and Shoots the sun at the opposite bey F115 then turns hot and smashes the other bey

i do not mind which character i am good or evil
Feb. 22, 2011  5:07 PM
 
(Feb. 22, 2011  7:29 AM)Nile Wrote: hey super peacock can i be in your story

Bio:
Name:Nile Tasagi
Appearance: Orange and Brown hair a yellow Shirt and Black Jacket
personality:Headstrong,and Rough This Boy has Mastered his bey but, Cannot care less to Battle either say he plays Beyblade
Equipment he has a red 3 segment launcher and a string launcher

BeyConfusedcorching Ra F115 D:B
face:Ra the sun god It has the picture of sun with a Falcon Inside
Wheel:scorching is a unique wheel That only fits on Two beys Horuseus and Ra it is a Curved wheel and attacks are Blocked it has a small hole to fit f115
hybrid: Ra is a Diagonal wheel That is reinforced with metal with comes in two parts the second part is to hold F115 for its special move
Track:F115 11.5 mill it has a small plastic disk that touches the metal wheel it has a small flame in side that glass casing and when low on stamina it heats the bey up and preforms it s special move it is the only spin track that connects to D:B and it has a small gear to connect
Tip: D:B this tip has gears inside to increase speed when its hot the flame goes down to the tip and make it regain all stamina lost this battle it can only be used once per battle the D stands for deluxe and b for Bash this tip has incredible attack

special Move: sun Blast
Ra appears and grabs the sun and Shoots the sun at the opposite bey F115 then turns hot and smashes the other bey

i do not mind which character i am good or evil

You are in.
(Feb. 17, 2011  12:28 PM)Dracovianauis Wrote: can i join, you have a lot of talent as a writer,

name: Izuma Inzori
Bey: Silent Ninja SBSCH85-110 RHF/RS
Bey discrption:
Silent: think of Lightning with the multi hit mode as thick shurikens, and upper mode as a kunai
Ninja: think of Kerbecs with the 'rings' as shurikens
SBSCH85-110: Shuriken Blade Spring Change Height8.5mm-11mm, think of CH120 with a external shell resembeling a shuriken, can be fixed in posistion or lose
RHF/RS: HF/F with the tips made of rubber
characther bio: wears Black all the time, helpful and cool, classmates are jealous of him
super attack: Silent death Silent Ninja dissapears and hits oponent with a million kunai and shuriken
bey color: all black
age 12

You are in. Is he good or evil.
Feb. 23, 2011  5:34 AM
 
Double agent, truth is he is Good
Feb. 23, 2011  5:38 AM
 
(Feb. 23, 2011  5:34 AM)Dracovianauis Wrote: Double agent, truth is he is Good

Do you want him in the story or not?
Feb. 23, 2011  5:50 AM
 
YES PLEASE!!!!!
Feb. 23, 2011  6:37 AM
 
when will my character be in and can my character be a double agent=Friend,foe,Friend any way you can choose i do not mind
Feb. 23, 2011  6:13 PM
 
(Feb. 23, 2011  5:50 AM)Dracovianauis Wrote: YES PLEASE!!!!!

You are In!
(Feb. 23, 2011  6:37 AM)Nile Wrote: when will my character be in and can my character be a double agent=Friend,foe,Friend any way you can choose i do not mind
You are In!
Feb. 24, 2011  2:29 PM
 
thx!
Feb. 24, 2011  10:17 PM
 
Sorry I havnt read in awhile but it just keeps getting better and better!!! Its better than the TV show and thanks for putting my character in. Can't wait for next chapter!!!
Feb. 24, 2011  11:15 PM
 
Thank you so much, Korinzu. I am happy you read my story.

Thank you for reading,
~Liam

P.S.
Your character, along with Earth Aries` character, will appear in chapter Ten or Eleven.
Feb. 26, 2011  6:49 AM
 
So ten or 11 okay
Feb. 26, 2011  7:03 AM
 
hey can i have a character?


name:aquios
bey:moonlight pegasis sr(sunrise)100rf(ruber flat)
looks:
[Image: 8309147.png]
special move:moonlight beam(bey glows gold,sending powerful beams of light at the opponent bey)another one is sunrise destruction(bey's track glows red,then extends,creating a beautiful fire tornado)
Feb. 26, 2011  12:12 PM
 
Super Peacock, if you were to use a bey closest to Jakes Bey it would probably be:
Burn Beafowl GB145 EWD
Just saying, thought you may be interested.


Keep up the good work!
Feb. 27, 2011  1:55 AM
 
(Feb. 26, 2011  7:03 AM)cyberpegasis98 Wrote: hey can i have a character?


name:aquios
bey:moonlight pegasis sr(sunrise)100rf(ruber flat)
looks:
[Image: 8309147.png]
special move:moonlight beam(bey glows gold,sending powerful beams of light at the opponent bey)another one is sunrise destruction(bey's track glows red,then extends,creating a beautiful fire tornado)

Since you did not meet the requierments that were in the opening post, I cannot have you as a character. First of all, you did not describe your character`s personalty. Secondly, you did give a detailed desription of your character`s Beyblade. Because of your lazieness and lack of effort that you put into your description, you will not be accepted as a character.

That you for applying,
~Liam
Feb. 27, 2011  1:57 AM
 
hey when will my character be in and when the next one cause i really like the suspense
Feb. 27, 2011  2:09 AM
 
He will be in Chapter Eight.
Feb. 27, 2011  2:22 AM
 
Great thx super peacock
Feb. 27, 2011  3:26 AM
 
New special Move: please can you do this move after epi 12 cause i want it to look like nile still has not reavealed his true power
God's special Move : Ascension Of RA
ra appears and sumons the sun and all other moves will be negated regardless afterward Ra begins to Spin steal from any other bey
Special Move: Flaming falcon stike
a falcon appears and smashes the opponent and steals alot of their spin
Forbidden Move: ra's Destruction
a huge metor hits the other beyblade the other beygblade does not take any damage until another metor stikes and then the other bey starts to wobble and then finally Ra BLOWS UP THE SUN and everything seems clear and then the other beyblade stops
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