The Alpha of Beyblade ( Character Requests Needed)

Poll: Is this story good?

Awesome!
93.33%
14
This SucksUnhappy
6.67%
1
Total: 100% 15 vote(s)
I decided to make a story here's chapter 1
Chapter 1
The Start/chapter 1 (Click to View)
The Town Tournament/chapter2 (Click to View)
The Predator/Chapter 3 (Click to View)
The Law of Gravity/Chapter 4 (Click to View)
The Twins/ Chapter 5 (Click to View)
Royale / Chapter 6 (Click to View)
The Swordsman/Chapter 7 (Click to View)
A New Threat/ Chapter 8 (Click to View)
The Fight Of Wolves/Chapter 9 (Click to View)
Recruiting Evil/Chapter 10 (Click to View)
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A Brother's Bond/Chapter 11 (Click to View)

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Tell me how it is!
I need character requests here's the format
Name:
Character Desc.
Character Personality:
Beyblade( Real or Made up):
Beyblade Spec. Move:
Anything else:




SAY WHAT EVA U WANT
Chapter is in the works...
Please I need requests!
Chapter 2 is ready!
Fix some dialouge like this...

"Hey John!" yelled Steve
"What's up Steve!" Yelled Steve back. (that is just a random example)

Your chapters should be a bit longer also.
(May. 19, 2012  7:57 PM)TriSix Wrote: Fix some dialouge like this...

"Hey John!" yelled Steve
"What's up Steve!" Yelled Steve back. (that is just a random example)

Your chapters should be a bit longer also.

Is chapter 2 long enough?
Is nobody going to add a character request?
Chapter 3 in the works
Here's chapter 3 of my story
Who likes the story? If so make a character request so I can make it better.
Chapter 4 is up! Please all viewers at least take the poll or make a character request I need characters!!!!!!!!!
Character Request

Name: Justin Clinton
Character Desc. black hair, blue jacket, green eyes
Character Personality: Loyal, kind, carefree
Beyblade( Real or Made up): Gravity Perseus
Beyblade Spec. Move: Alpha Lightning Excalibur
great story

character request
Name:Linsu Resima
Character Desc.:short black hair,black jacket,dark skin,red t-shirt
Character Personality:goth,unsocial
Beyblade:Anarcy Demon
Beyblade Spec. Move:Hell Trapper
Anything else:
Okay your characters will be in soon
Chapter four in the works
Nice story, there! I suggest you put the chapters in the OP, to make them easier to find! For some reason, I really like the characters beys' and the way they fit their personalities! ^•^ Here's my character request:

Name: Syina Trishinta

Description: Has long red braids, blue eyes, pale skin, wears a long white dress and pink ballet shoes, she is very kind yet VERY shy and loves to dance...

Bey (original): Flame Bull W145 ES

Special Moves: Flame Twirling Mirage, Flaring Horn Dance
I have another request

Name:Kiatumi Resima (female)
Character Desc.:long black hair,white skirt,dark skin,grey t-shirt
Character Personality:up beat,very social,Linsu"s twin sister
Beyblade:Haven Fairy
Beyblade Spec. Move:Haven Fantasy

To Fakir,

So Linsu and Kiatumi are like opposite of each other
yeah pretty much
Chapter 4:

Thanks to character requesters!
Creepy request time!!

name: Hana Oku (female)
personality: very sneaky, and very innocent.
description: long, brown hair and a sailor venus outfit
bey (original): Blitz Capricorn 90R2Fnd sailor venus, nuff said.
moves: Horn smash, Ultimate Blitz Smash
Put the other chapters in the OP so people wont have a hard time looking for them. Also, I recommend you to fix the dialog ; its so confusing to read. Also, remember a chapter is longer than a few paragraphs!
Will my character request be in the story? I'm not trying to be impatient or anything, I was just wondering if she'll be in the story at all! Nice fourth chapter, anyways, and you should definetely take Yukio's advice!
Here is Chapter 5

(May. 20, 2012  2:54 AM)Yukio Wrote: Put the other chapters in the OP so people wont have a hard time looking for them. Also, I recommend you to fix the dialog ; its so confusing to read. Also, remember a chapter is longer than a few paragraphs
I'm sorry I can't but if this dialog is unbearable I'm sorry can't use computer and











Fakir's Duck youre character will come soon

Here is chapter 6
[spoiler]
Chapter 6
Royale
"Let the town Beyblade tournament begin!" "In our final match we have Ray Orotima, Jack Clinton, Hana Oku, and Syina Trishinta!" Syina Trishinta was a girl with long red braids, blue eyes, pale skin, a long white dress with pink ballet shoes. She was very kind, loves to dance, and is very shy. Hana Oku was very sneaky and very innocent. She wore a sailor Venus outfit and has long brown hair. I was so nervous! "3,2,1 GO SHOOT!" Hana Oku's bey was Blitz Capricorn 90R2F. Syina's bey was Flame Bull W145ES. "ummm.. Smash him!" said Syina nervously. Perseus was sent back flying but recovered quickly and knocked Blitz Capricorn back. Nocturnal bashed Flame Bull and was sent back flying. Perseus vigorously attacked Blitz Capricorn but then Capricorn jumped and nailed Perseus directly."Capricorn! Ultimate Blitz Smash!" Perseus was launched out of the stadium and-"Jack is out!" "Flame Bull! Flaring Horn Dance!" Flames erupted around Flame Bull struck Capricorn and-"Hana is out!" " Let's finish this Nocturnal! FATAL STAB!" Nocturnal snuck behind Flame Bull and knocked him straight out of the stadium! "Ray Orotima wins! And tommorow he will face the town champion!" Yes! I had won this is a dream come true! But my victory would not last
[\spoiler]
Here is chapter 7
Sweet! I really like it! Haha, I beat Hana! Tongue_out_wink Just joking!
Hey guys I need a bad guy for chapter 8. It will help me a lot!
Put the chapters in the OP.
It makes it easier for someone to find the chapters.
I really think it's cool how you used my request
but he uses the 3 sword style he holds two swords in his hands and 1 in his mouth
Bad guy character request:

Aragonite Stilticus (male)

Midnight Wolf 145WD

Starscape Death, Destroying Darkness Breath

He has very long black hair, iridescent purple eyes, pale skin, wears a black trench coat with purple spikes, and purple boots. He is extremely quiet and selfish. He is tall and skinny.


So what do you think?
How ever you want to use this character i suppose


Name: Can-Dai (Male)

Bey: Aqua Diablo CS160TF

Special Move: Nerco Waterfall (Aqua Diablo is englufed in a Dark Water orb and smashes ontop of another bey with massive force)(pm me if you need another then)

Clothing: He always wears blue no matter what. Usually a Blue Sweater with a demon on it and baggy blue jeans. He has hair like Kyoya and Blue eyes. He is 5'5 and he cares for friends and he always gives to others before himself.