THE STORY OF PEGASUS SOUL STORY 1 you cant win

please, spell Pegasus correctly
the tittle
in the tittle? not even close
Haha...I love those kind of stories. The same way I love crappy movies like The Room and the Troll series. I'm kind of an idiot, that way.

The edited version of Kyuubi-Master is somewhat...readable, if that's a word, but it still lacks any form of originality and fails to strike interest in my heart. The first few lines of a story are exactly made to swoop people in reading the story...
pegasis, that's how you spell it
(Dec. 20, 2010  3:42 AM)alexscott12 Wrote: pegasis, that's how you spell it

Slightly untrue. In Japan it's Pegasis and I think it was only for the Pre-HWS version. In Canada it's Pegasus.
(Dec. 20, 2010  1:36 AM)Dude Wrote: Haha...I love those kind of stories. The same way I love crappy movies like The Room and the Troll series. I'm kind of an idiot, that way.

The edited version of Kyuubi-Master is somewhat...readable, if that's a word, but it still lacks any form of originality and fails to strike interest in my heart. The first few lines of a story are exactly made to swoop people in reading the story...

Yes I know. I would have added a lot, but I was giving him a sample of what stories normally look like.
Yeah, Kyuubi-Master pretty much has it right. That is what a story should look like. Always remember, put quotations, and have good overall spelling and grammar. Make sure you have an interesting plot as well! Keep at it, and you could have a great story too! Grin

edit: Just read the title clearly and read the story like really read it. What does this story have to do with a Pegasus? Tyson uses Leone and Blaze uses Aquario. If it's supposed to be coming later, maybe you could have hinted to it at least?
Glad to be of service.
(Dec. 20, 2010  1:13 AM)Gloomy Wrote: please, spell Pegasus correctly
the tittle

Please, spell title correctly.
(Dec. 22, 2010  9:28 PM)geem456 Wrote: ok now make it longer more

Ok,now make it longer.