I first want to apologize for any previous failures and I really hope to do better and even if I fail now I'll keep trying., Anyway lets begin.
By the way the story has a bit of a slow beginning but soon gets better.
Chapter 1
It was a cold winter day. Thousands of people stood in a crowd waving as a colorful parade passed celebrating the new year in Osaka, Japan. The parade was full of colors, pinks, blues, yellowes oranges, reds and greens, it was my favorite time of the year. Soon the WBBA float passed by it featured two very popular bladers battling eachother, and i must say it was quite the show as sparks exploded from the stadium while the two beys were locked in combat.
"Fai!!" Yelled a dark-blue haired girl walking towards me, her arms full of candy, and her large amber eyes filled with excitement as they reflected the colors from the parade. She was followed by a tall black haired boy. They both had smiles on their faces.
"Hey Yura, hey Haru" I replied smiling. These two were my best friends. Yura was about 5'5 with long Dark-Blue hair, large amber eyes, and light tan skin. Haru was about 5'7 with short, spiky, black hair, tan skin, and Ice-blue eyes. I was about 5'11 with long, brownish-blonde hair, green eyes, and had light colored skin, which wasn't very common in japan. We were all about 15 years old.
I snached a piece of candy from Yura.
"Hey!!" protested an annoyed Yura unable to fight back because her arms were full of candy. Haru and I eventually made a game of stealing candy from Yura, who was usually too hyper anyway. In the end all three of us each had a wad of cotton candy on a stick.
"Happy new year guys" I said happily, sticking my wand of cotton candy in the air.
"Right back at ya" Replied both of them, simultaneously repeating the action. Then we each took a bite of our cotton candy to a happy new year. At the end of the night I said goodbye to my friends and began to walk home. It was a fairly long walk of about 5 miles. An ice-cold breeze blew past me so I jammed my hands into my pocket and continued walking. Not to long after i began walking it began to snow. It was a light snowfall at first, but then soon became a snowstorm as i was pelted by ice and snow. As i continued trudging through the snow, I noticed a light coming from the pond at the park. As if drawn by it, I walked towards it in what felt like a dream. I as I came closer I saw that the light was coming from the center of the pond, it was silver-blue in color. Without thinking I dived in to the pond. I felt the freezing cold shoot up my body, it felt like being stabbed by a thousand needles. I quickly swam towards the source of the light and once I got a closer look I saw that it was a bey I reached for it, and as soon as I grabbed it i felt the numbness set into my body slowly at first, but it quickly spread over my body. I was too tired to panic, too tired to even move. My only thought was, "Great I get to start the new year by drowning". I laughed at myself for having such a lame thought then blacked out.
Please give me some feedback so I may improve myself
By the way the story has a bit of a slow beginning but soon gets better.
Chapter 1
It was a cold winter day. Thousands of people stood in a crowd waving as a colorful parade passed celebrating the new year in Osaka, Japan. The parade was full of colors, pinks, blues, yellowes oranges, reds and greens, it was my favorite time of the year. Soon the WBBA float passed by it featured two very popular bladers battling eachother, and i must say it was quite the show as sparks exploded from the stadium while the two beys were locked in combat.
"Fai!!" Yelled a dark-blue haired girl walking towards me, her arms full of candy, and her large amber eyes filled with excitement as they reflected the colors from the parade. She was followed by a tall black haired boy. They both had smiles on their faces.
"Hey Yura, hey Haru" I replied smiling. These two were my best friends. Yura was about 5'5 with long Dark-Blue hair, large amber eyes, and light tan skin. Haru was about 5'7 with short, spiky, black hair, tan skin, and Ice-blue eyes. I was about 5'11 with long, brownish-blonde hair, green eyes, and had light colored skin, which wasn't very common in japan. We were all about 15 years old.
I snached a piece of candy from Yura.
"Hey!!" protested an annoyed Yura unable to fight back because her arms were full of candy. Haru and I eventually made a game of stealing candy from Yura, who was usually too hyper anyway. In the end all three of us each had a wad of cotton candy on a stick.
"Happy new year guys" I said happily, sticking my wand of cotton candy in the air.
"Right back at ya" Replied both of them, simultaneously repeating the action. Then we each took a bite of our cotton candy to a happy new year. At the end of the night I said goodbye to my friends and began to walk home. It was a fairly long walk of about 5 miles. An ice-cold breeze blew past me so I jammed my hands into my pocket and continued walking. Not to long after i began walking it began to snow. It was a light snowfall at first, but then soon became a snowstorm as i was pelted by ice and snow. As i continued trudging through the snow, I noticed a light coming from the pond at the park. As if drawn by it, I walked towards it in what felt like a dream. I as I came closer I saw that the light was coming from the center of the pond, it was silver-blue in color. Without thinking I dived in to the pond. I felt the freezing cold shoot up my body, it felt like being stabbed by a thousand needles. I quickly swam towards the source of the light and once I got a closer look I saw that it was a bey I reached for it, and as soon as I grabbed it i felt the numbness set into my body slowly at first, but it quickly spread over my body. I was too tired to panic, too tired to even move. My only thought was, "Great I get to start the new year by drowning". I laughed at myself for having such a lame thought then blacked out.
Please give me some feedback so I may improve myself