[Story] Beyblade: WBO Secret Service [Character requests needed]

Poll: Do you like it?

IT'S THE BEST THING EVER!!!
39.13%
9
Pretty good (even though your a noob)
60.87%
14
Don't like it
0%
0
It's the worst thing I've ever read
0%
0
Total: 100% 23 vote(s)
Please answer the Poll if you like it

Part 1

Part 2
Part 3

Part 4
Part 5

Character Request form
Wow, for once, I have no grammar raging to do.
Well...
uh...
Don't take character requests.
Now to the plot: So far, it's the steryotypical beyblade hero (He wins the first battle automatically, something mysterious happens to him, etc.) but this story could grow into something. You also need to add description, and of course, don't use repetitive words (Try not to use 'said' often or on its' own.)
(May. 04, 2012  9:37 PM)XXaron Wrote: Wow, for once, I have no grammar raging to do.
Well...
uh...
Don't take character requests.
Now to the plot: So far, it's the steryotypical beyblade hero (He wins the first battle automatically, something mysterious happens to him, etc.) but this story could grow into something. You also need to add description, and of course, don't use repetitive words (Try not to use 'said' often or on its' own.)

Thanks for the advice, at least for once I didn't mess up my grammer.
Uh, if your still doing character requests....

Character's Name: Red Shinigami
Character's Description: Aether's Rival. Only person Aether's lost against and vice-versa.
Character's Personality: Has a silver tongue, loud, stuck up.
Character's Bey Name: Bronze Nemean BDTH180RCSF (Boost Disk Triple Height 180 Rubber Coat Semi Flat)
Bey Description: Monster-Regal, Loyal, Strong. Special Move-Lion's Prey (Bey pursues the the other bey to the end of the stadium and smashes a fatal blow). Type-Aggressive Defense with decent stamina. Thx if you use it.
Character's name: Jakumi Himashawa
Description: New to Japan. A somewhat helpful ally of Aether's... Wears White coat, cowboy hat, pants, and shoes, with white sunglasses...
Personality: Shy, strategic, evasive...
Beyblade Name: Lead Corona LT130RHF (Left Tornado, Rubber Hole Flat)
Bey Description: A Crown Face. Shows Jakumi's wealthiness..
Special Move: Dazzling Crown (face sends out a light wave that pushes the bey...)
Type: Attack, though Lead Corona can be used for Defense...
Character's Name: T.L. Dragonov AKA "Alex" AKA Agent 9207
Character's Description: An agent of the WBO since July
Character's Personality: Laid-back, outgoing, eager to see new Beyblade parts, intolerant of discrimination in any form, also abhorrent of bullying in general, especially with Blader thugs.
Character's Bey Name: Underworld Kerbecs B:DII
Bey Description: Essentially a 4D version of Hell Kerbecs, boasting the Kerbecs II Clear Wheel, which is heavier than the original, and has a new version of the Bearing Drive 4D Bottom, with two ball bearings instead of one and a new design. Its Underworld 4D Metal Wheel is a significant improvement on Hell, even looking fiercer, too.
Type: Stamina
Special Moves: Hellhound Hassle, Doom Gate, Chain Cyclone
Thanks everyone for the character requests, they may help in the next few parts of the story that are still in progress
My character request!
Character's name: Jake Toshiko
Description: Half American, he's dad is American and mom is Japan.
Personality: Happy, he likes training beyblading.
Beyblade Name: Galaxy Susanow 105 R2F
Bey Description: An god of light, good attack, because of Galaxy Wheel.
Special Move: Galaxy Blade (Susanoow starts circling and starts to get more power, then he releases it.
Type: Attack.
(May. 05, 2012  5:52 PM)NPB Wrote: My character request!
Character's name: Jake Toshiko
Description: Half-American, he's dad is American and mom is Japanese.
Personality: Happy, he likes training in Beyblade.
Beyblade Name: Galaxy Susanow 105R2F
Bey Description: A god of light, boasting good attack, because of the Galaxy Metal Wheel.
Special Move: Galaxy Blade (Susanow starts circling and starts to get more power, then he releases it.)
Type: Attack.

@ NPB: Hope you don't mind me fixing your errors!

EDIT: Forgot to put the r in your
Ok, Part 2 is done I will post it and put it in the first post tommorow.
Max fudo
Red spiky hair with black black tee jeans and sneakers
Lone wolf but will take help if needed good at heart
bey mf ldrago destroy f s
special move lightning destruction meteo destruction mirage destruction
omega move dragon destroyer
Ultimate special.move lightning meteor dragon destruction
Oh my gosh, that's the most n00b-ish character request I've ever seen, no offense.
I really Love the story KIU! Smile
This a splendid story! I adore the plot so far, and it has wonderful grammar! Here is my character request:

Skarla Tashima

Flame Scorpio C145HF

She has red hair, brown eyes, tan skin, freckles and a pink dress. She is very shy and sometimes overly polite, and she trusts absolutely no one!
Sorry to say this, but if you want to request a character, please stick to guidelines on the first post. New chapter coming up any minute
Heres Part 2:

Remember other characters that were requested will be in it soon enough, I've actually got a plan how to introduce them
Oh yeah, i forgotted to tell what clothes my character haves!
Whateva...Good story Smile
NPB I've just started finishing Part 3, where we battle, it's gonna be good.
Ok, I've finished Part 3, it will be uploaded later.
Eh, even though I do not condone character requests, I may as well give you sdomething to work with.
Name: Mitch Kaizer.
Bey:Anything, you decide
Personality:Anything, you decide.
Description:Anything, you decide.
I think I covered everything.
And you had a few small mistakes in part two (When describing your character, you said I tihkn I getting sidetracked, which should have been I think I'm getting sidetracked, there should b e a space between 12 and o'clock so it turns out like 12 o'clock, you missed a few commas here and there...) But you got your spelling relativly right, and of course what I listed probably were typos.
Keep it up!
(May. 06, 2012  4:00 PM)XXaron Wrote: Eh, even though I do not condone character requests, I may as well give you sdomething to work with.
Name: Mitch Kaizer.
Bey:Anything, you decide
Personality:Anything, you decide.
Description:Anything, you decide.
I think I covered everything.
And you had a few small mistakes in part two (When describing your character, you said I tihkn I getting sidetracked, which should have been I think I'm getting sidetracked, there should b e a space between 12 and o'clock so it turns out like 12 o'clock, you missed a few commas here and there...) But you got your spelling relativly right, and of course what I listed probably were typos.
Keep it up!

Thanks. I will fix part, I think it's because of me staying up most of the night finishing it

Yep fixed
Part 3 is up

So, when will Agent 9207 show up in your story?
I'm hoping to add him in when my character wins one of the spots in the top 3 in the later parts, you will be already in the WBO as a high clash Blader, don't worry you be in it soon enough Smile
Okay, I can wait!
Wow, you really portrayed my character good. Well done Wink
LET'S GO RED! DESTROY AETHER lol
I see my idea of making the WBO appear in your story is catching on!