(Story) Beyblade: Throughout The World! (Chapter 39 Added)

Poll: How Was My Story?

Frickin Awesome!
68.29%
28
Pretty Good.
24.39%
10
Ok.
4.88%
2
Meh. Horrible.
2.44%
1
Total: 100% 41 vote(s)
(Jun. 24, 2012  8:54 PM)Emperor Wrote: Epic! You watched HetaOni too? Stupid "alien"! Great job on your story. There are some typos in chapter 23, but I think you'll fix them. And before you post your chapters, reread it to find typos or grammar mistakes and use Microsoft Word Starter. Grin

Yeah. Lol. I love HetaOni. We call the alien thing "Steve", lol. I play the computer game, aswell.
Chapter 23 was amazing! You portrayed Wang perfectly! Good Job!
(Jun. 24, 2012  9:43 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote:
(Jun. 24, 2012  8:54 PM)Emperor Wrote: Epic! You watched HetaOni too? Stupid "alien"! Great job on your story. There are some typos in chapter 23, but I think you'll fix them. And before you post your chapters, reread it to find typos or grammar mistakes and use Microsoft Word Starter. Grin

Yeah. Lol. I love HetaOni. We call the alien thing "Steve", lol. I play the computer game, aswell.


Computer Game? Free? I call him, "Tony"! More creepy Smile So have you been working on 24? Can't wait! Only for ChinaBlade:
(Jun. 25, 2012  7:22 PM)Emperor Wrote:
(Jun. 24, 2012  9:43 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote:
(Jun. 24, 2012  8:54 PM)Emperor Wrote: Epic! You watched HetaOni too? Stupid "alien"! Great job on your story. There are some typos in chapter 23, but I think you'll fix them. And before you post your chapters, reread it to find typos or grammar mistakes and use Microsoft Word Starter. Grin

Yeah. Lol. I love HetaOni. We call the alien thing "Steve", lol. I play the computer game, aswell.


Computer Game? Free? I call him, "Tony"! More creepy Smile So have you been working on 24? Can't wait! Only for ChinaBlade:

Lol, Tony is America's alien friend. Tony would never attack America, trust me lol. (Thank you for pointing that out, Canada.) But yeah, there's a computer game. Here's the link to get it
http://pianodream.deviantart.com/art/Het...-307160911
Anyways, I was planing on using him sometime in the near future. I guess I'll use him in the evil team.
(Jun. 26, 2012  3:07 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote:
(Jun. 25, 2012  7:22 PM)Emperor Wrote:
(Jun. 24, 2012  9:43 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: Yeah. Lol. I love HetaOni. We call the alien thing "Steve", lol. I play the computer game, aswell.


Computer Game? Free? I call him, "Tony"! More creepy Smile So have you been working on 24? Can't wait! Only for ChinaBlade:

Lol, Tony is America's alien friend. Tony would never attack America, trust me lol. (Thank you for pointing that out, Canada.) But yeah, there's a computer game. Here's the link to get it
http://pianodream.deviantart.com/art/Het...-307160911
Anyways, I was planing on using him sometime in the near future. I guess I'll use him in the evil team.

Thanks! I LOVE CANADA! He so white(NOT RACIST).
Chapter 24:

Another one of my favorite battles! And just for you guys, I'll give you a preview of the next 2 team's leaders!
(Jun. 24, 2012  8:33 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: Chapter 23:
"Bladers ready!" The ref shouts. "3! 2! 1!" We all shout. "GO SHOOT!" Karan and Wang shout as they launch their beys. "GO L-DRAGO!" Karan shouts. "ZURAFA!" Wang shouts.

Just pointing out a little something I noticed. Try to use different words each time, or even cut out the dialogue tags. Sometimes, if it's just 2 people talking, there's no need since it's a given that once one talks, the other has to respond.
(Jun. 27, 2012  5:00 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: And just for you guys, I'll give you a preview of the next 2 team's leaders!

This seems to be a growing trend: authors putting descriptions in little notes but not in the actual stories. To me, this doesn't make a lot of sense. Why not just put it in there? It's a good writing skill to learn: how to bit by bit slowly describe something in little pieces here or there until you can get a picture of it. I don't know. I just don't get it.
You should continue the story is awesome
(Jun. 27, 2012  7:05 PM)Sparta Wrote:
(Jun. 24, 2012  8:33 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: Chapter 23:
"Bladers ready!" The ref shouts. "3! 2! 1!" We all shout. "GO SHOOT!" Karan and Wang shout as they launch their beys. "GO L-DRAGO!" Karan shouts. "ZURAFA!" Wang shouts.

Just pointing out a little something I noticed. Try to use different words each time, or even cut out the dialogue tags. Sometimes, if it's just 2 people talking, there's no need since it's a given that once one talks, the other has to respond.
(Jun. 27, 2012  5:00 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: And just for you guys, I'll give you a preview of the next 2 team's leaders!

This seems to be a growing trend: authors putting descriptions in little notes but not in the actual stories. To me, this doesn't make a lot of sense. Why not just put it in there? It's a good writing skill to learn: how to bit by bit slowly describe something in little pieces here or there until you can get a picture of it. I don't know. I just don't get it.

I was going to put the descriptions in the story. Some people where pm'ing me stuff and asking about the leaders, so I gave them a little preview. Anyways, thanks for the tips.
Sorry for double posting guys. But I have bad news. I won't be making the story for a few days. I'm sorry, but I've been going through horrible things on YouTube with people who I thought were my friends. They betreyed me and sent me into a depression, so I've kinda lost the will to write stories... I'm sorry guys. I should be up and running again by Saturday or Sunday at most. Again, I'm sorry. ConfusedMITH:
Thats sad. Hope you write more soon!
NO!!!! WHY?!? Can I PM you what happened?
I pray that you overcome your depression, ChinaBladeâ„¢.
(Jun. 28, 2012  8:55 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: Sorry for double posting guys. But I have bad news. I won't be making the story for a few days. I'm sorry, but I've been going through horrible things on YouTube with people who I thought were my friends. They betreyed me and sent me into a depression, so I've kinda lost the will to write stories... I'm sorry guys. I should be up and running again by Saturday or Sunday at most. Again, I'm sorry. ConfusedMITH:

Awww.... Too bad. Hearing that just... ugh... Smithicide Hope ya get to feeling a little bit better... Unhappy
I'm so, so, sorry guys. I tried talking it out with my "Friends" and they just ended up pushing me deeper into the depression. The things they said were very harsh... And I wish I could forget them... But I don't think I can ever pick up a Beyblade again after what they said. This story may be closed forever... And I know it's not yet the end of the story... And I had another 1 that was in the making, in real life. But they've just pushed me to... Confusedmithicide:
Sorry guys. I may continue this story when I get the courage to. I hope it's sometime soon, but it looks grim. Sorry guys. Unhappy
Bro, I hope you can recover, I'm sorry how bad those people are treating you.
(Jun. 29, 2012  11:15 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: I'm so, so, sorry guys. I tried talking it out with my "Friends" and they just ended up pushing me deeper into the depression. The things they said were very harsh... And I wish I could forget them... But I don't think I can ever pick up a Beyblade again after what they said. This story may be closed forever... And I know it's not yet the end of the story... And I had another 1 that was in the making, in real life. But they've just pushed me to... Confusedmithicide:
Sorry guys. I may continue this story when I get the courage to. I hope it's sometime soon, but it looks grim. Sorry guys. Unhappy

Aw, man things are getting bad. I feel so sorry for you. Your friends shouldn't be doing that stuff to make you depressed. That's just makes me feel...ugh, again... Smithicide

Hopefully, you can get outta this. Try and talk to me through PM if you need some helping up... I don't like to see such a good member like this... Unhappy
I'm back guys! Thanks for all of your concern! I've gotten pumped and with new ideas come new chapters! Here's the next chapter:


Chapter 25:

Again, thanks for all of your support. Thanks to Néar for coming up with Jo Jung-Lee! Sorry, this chapter is a little long, lol.
I'm glad to see you feel better now, and I'm really glad you're writing again! Smile

As for the Chapter, I love the Japanese team! Can't wait for battles...!
Argh, the suspense. I can't wait for the next chapter.You are back and running, good for you! Jo is actually based kind off a real person (not me.)
Glad to see you back bro.
*Turns Away*
Even though you didn't use my character for japan's team
*Sob Sob*
Just Kidding!
Good Chapter Bro!
(Jun. 30, 2012  3:07 PM)Death Bro Wrote: Glad to see you back bro.
*Turns Away*
Even though you didn't use my character for japan's team
*Sob Sob*
Just Kidding!
Good Chapter Bro!

Wow, how many bro's you gonna say to this lass, eh?
(Jun. 30, 2012  3:43 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote:
(Jun. 30, 2012  3:07 PM)Death Bro Wrote: Glad to see you back bro.
*Turns Away*
Even though you didn't use my character for japan's team
*Sob Sob*
Just Kidding!
Good Chapter Bro!

Wow, how many bro's you gonna say to this lass, eh?

I know ChinaBlade is a woman, bro can mean "friend" Well, at least in my sense.
This chapter is told from Karan's point of veiw! (Important Flashback)


Chapter 26:
[Edit] I will love you forever if you realize who Kouji is based off of! XD
Wow... Now THAT, was a good chapter!

I really liked how you incorporated the flashback! It makes the story more interesting!!!

Keep it up!!