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Red_Eyes_Zombie's Story- Beyblade: Axcess

Dec. 19, 2010  4:27 AM
 
this is my first time so here we go...

Episode 1: The Eagle has Arrived!

"Ha! You won't win this time!" Trey was at the park with his friend Dennis. They were having a great time beybattling. Trey had his bey, Clay Aquario 100F, and Dennis had his bey Storm Wolf T125CS.
"That's what you think! Go Storm Wolf! Special Move: Tornado Fangs!" A giant twister had appeared around Storm Wolf and smashed into Aquario and knocked it out of the stadium. "I win!" Dennis shouted. "I'm a winner and you're not!"

"Hey, that's not fair! I don't even have a special move!"

"Well, maybe you could use something that that doesn't use a Light Wheel. You know that those aren't any good."

Yeah, they aren't. Too bad I don't have any money to get a replacement, He thought. Trey picked up his bey, called it a day, and walked back to his house. Trey wasn't surprised that his bey had lost. It was
the 50th time that day. He wished that he could get enough money for another bey to replace this one. "Hey Trey, it's time for dinner!" His mom called out when he walked into the house. "Where have you been?"

"I was at the park, blading with my friend Dennis."

"Well okay, come to the table so we can eat." Trey had sat down and started eating his bowl of Kraft Dinner. It was his favourite food to eat. "Trey, remember that it's your special day today!" His dad reminded him. Oh yeah, I forgot, Trey thought in his head. Special.

That night, while he was sleeping, he dreamed of a new bey, one that was based of a bird. He loved birds, but he couldn't have one because there wasn't enough space in the house. He imagined that it would have a spirit in it, just like Dennis' Storm Wolf T125CS. It would have a Special Move that was dazzling and make people respect him. That was a good dream to him.

The next morning (which was a Saturday by the way), Trey woke up to his parents smiling faces. "Good morning, honey!" His mom said with excitement. "We got a present for you!" Trey took off his pajamas and walked into the kitchen for breakfast. There was a box with some cake next to it. On the box read "We knew you wanted one, so we got you one". Trey instantly opened the small box to see a bey in it: Flame Eagle WA130RSF. "Wow! Thanks Mom and Dad!" Trey yelled. His wish he made the other day as well as the dream he had last night had come true. "I'm gonna go and test it out right now!" He pulled on some sandals and ran right out the door. "Dennis! Dennis! Look! I got a bey for my birthday!" Trey yelled loudly when he got to Dennis' door.

"Yes, I can see that, Trey. What parts does it have?"

Trey pulled out his new bey out of his pocket and showed it to Dennis. "It's a Flame Eagle WA130RSF! Wanna try it out?"

Dennis walked into his house, and came back a minute later carrying his bey Storm Wolf T125CS in his hand. "Let's go to the park!" He said. Trey had been waiting for this day ever since he had gotten Clay Aquario. He had upgraded to something better.

"Three, two, one, Let it Rip!" Both beys were zooming around the stadium at an incredibly fast rate. Storm Wolf was a bit faster than Flame Eagle, but it was catching up. "C'mon Flame Eagle! You can catch him!" Trey was encouraging Eagle.

"Ha, do you really think you'll win? Wolf, attack!" Wolf swerved down and hit Flame Eagle hard. Wolf only hit the Track so the wings deflected it's attack. "Ha, your Wolf only hit my WA130 which sent it back. Now time to finish this!" Trey was surrounded by a powerful flame, signalling the attack's approach. "Now Flame Eagle! Go, Special Move: Giga Flame Wing Burst!" The free-spinning wings on WA130 started spinning like crazy. A giant fire started swirling around Eagle. Then, all of a sudden, a giant Eagle rose up out of the bey and the flames, shouting a mighty eagle cry. It's flaming wings rammed into Storm Wolf, knocking it high into the sky. Dennis tried to use his special move in the air, where it would be more powerful, but the rising flames from Flame Eagle drowned out the air supply for Wolf to use. It fell back to the ground, spin depleted. "Whoa...." That's all Dennis could say. He was stunned. "I never even got a chance to launch my move..." Trey was equally stunned. "Wow... all that power is stored in my bey? Probably even more once I get more experienced!" They both picked up their beys from the stadium. "Everyone, meet Flame Eagle! He's my new bey!"
End of Episode 1

okay, any constructive criticism is welcomed. remember, this is my first story, and i dont know alot about writing.

if people like this one, i will find time to write more ^^
Dec. 19, 2010  6:59 PM
 
nobodys posting D: i wonder why?
Dec. 19, 2010  7:02 PM
 
it's a cool story, but people usually need a lot of time to get to the stories, that's why nobody posted yet
Dec. 19, 2010  7:03 PM
 
I like it


a lot
Dec. 19, 2010  7:05 PM
 
(Dec. 19, 2010  7:02 PM)alexscott12 Wrote: it's a cool story, but people usually need a lot of time to get to the stories, that's why nobody posted yet

ohhh okay thanks for the info Grin
Dec. 19, 2010  7:06 PM
 
I think this is pretty good, but . . . it seems strang he got a bey for his birthday, and it had those great parts, as well as a special move which he just made up. your story is good, but it seems spontanious and full of luck (like most of the Yu-Gi-Oh!serieses and episodes). If you could make it less random, then this would be much better.
Dec. 19, 2010  8:02 PM
 
(Dec. 19, 2010  7:06 PM)Odin of Aesir Wrote: I think this is pretty good, but . . . it seems strang he got a bey for his birthday, and it had those great parts, as well as a special move which he just made up. your story is good, but it seems spontanious and full of luck (like most of the Yu-Gi-Oh!serieses and episodes). If you could make it less random, then this would be much better.

huh, thanks for the feedback, i will try to make it less random? /confusion
Dec. 19, 2010  9:30 PM
 
here's the next part:

Episode 2: The Dragon's Roar! A New Foe Emerges!

"Hey Trey, how did you come up with that epic Special Move right on the spot like that?" Dennis said over the phone the the same day after their battle. "It was all fiery and stuff! And that Eagle coming out of the bey... that was pure OWNAGE!"

"I don't know, it just sort of came to me. I was in the moment, I guess?"

"Wow, I gotta step up my game if we're gonna be rivals!"

"Rivals? We're rivals now?"

"Well of course! Now that you've got that bey, we have to try to outdo each other!"

"Yeah... I like it! From this moment on, we are rivals!"

The next day, Dennis and Trey were back at the park. It was a nice day, few clouds in the sky. But there was something wrong in the air. Trey could feel it. Dennis was battling against some guy using a Poison Gemios 125Q. "Urg... that Poison Gemios is annoying me! Go Storm Wolf!" Wolf smashed into Gemios hard, which made it lose its balance. "Storm Wolf! Special Move: Tornado Fangs!" Gemios was knocked out swiftly. "Aww yeah! Did you see that, Trey?" Dennis said excitedly.

"Yeah, I saw." Trey replied, slightly distracted.

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"Don't you feel something weird in the atmosphere? Like something is about to happen." As soon as he said that, somebody screamed "Look!" Both boys quickly turned their head towards the scream. A guy was terrorizing some little kids with his bey. Trey and Dennis ran over to him. "Hey, stop scaring kids! They are littler than you!" Trey yelled.

"Yeah, if you don't stop, we'll have to teach you some manners!" Dennis yelled too. The boy turned his head and smirked. "Yeah? What are two little weaklings gonna do about it?" He said. His voice sent shivers down their spines. It was scratchy, and loud. Trey pulled out his Flame Eagle and prepared to launch, but Dennis put his arms out. "Trey, I wanna try first. I need to prove myself a worthy rival."

"What? But you don't need to-"

"But I wan't to do this. Please let me battle this guy." There was no use fighting. "Okay, battle him. But if you can't beat him, then I will take over. Okay?"

"Okay." Dennis pulled out his Storm Wolf T125CS. "By the way, what is your name?"

"My name it Ryu. Too bad after this battle, you won't be around to remember it." He pulled out his bey, Lightning L-Drago 90WF. "Three, two, one, Let it Rip!"

Lightning L-Drago was circling the stadium at an intense rate. Storm Wolf just happened to be in Stamina Mode from his CS tip. "Haha, now your L-Drago will just circle the stadium aimlessly! It won't have enough stamina to even hurt Wolf! Why do you think I launched it into Stamina Mode?"

"You may think that you're very clever for that, but I have anticipated this and devised a counter to it. Go L-Drago!" It swerved down to the middle and knocked into Wolf. Wolf was forced into Attack Mode by this. "Now, you'll be easier to hit!" Wolf was taking a beating. Trey didn't think it could take anymore.

"Oh no! How can I win against such a strong opponent? His attacks are like lightning!"

"Haha, time to finish! Lightning L-Drago! Special Move: Lightning Roar!" There was a swirl of lightning, and a dragon rose up from Ryu's beyblade. It let lose a mighty roar that shook up the entire stadium and sent lightning everywhere. Wolf was hit bad.

"WOLF!!" Dennis was on the ground. He couldn't take it anymore. A blue glow had taken hold of him. "Grrr... Wolf!!" Wolf was glowing now too. It was spinning faster, more stable now because of the wings on its Track. A fierce wind had started to blow. "Grrr... Special Move: Twister Howl!" A tornado had been whipped by Wolf. Out of the twister, a Wolf had risen. It howled, increasing attack power twofold. "Attack!!!" He yelled with rising intensity.

"What? How can this be? Your Wolf just got two times stronger!" Ryu yelled.

"Yep, and now you're gonna lose!"

Wolf charged right into L-Drago, knocking it out of the arena. "The master will not be pleased. He specifically asked me to-"

"What master?" Trey and Dennis both yelled.

"I have said too much. Just know that this isn't the last time you will be seeing members of the Gama Clan. See you soon..." There was a flash, and Ryu was gone.

"I wonder what that was about..." Dennis wondered.

"I don't know, but I think that we have a new enemy. We will need to keep our guard up. That Special Move you did at the end was really cool, too! We'll need it if people are after us. How did you do it?"

"It was like your Special Move. I was in the moment."

End of Episode Two

Next time: "Battle Data Collection! Creating an Eagle!"

This new master that Ryu mentioned after the battle has Trey troubled that someone is after them. He goes into the Dark Forest to find this master and get answers. But instead, he finds a mysterious blader that challenges him! Will he get the answers he seeks? Or is this just the set up of a bigger plot?
Dec. 20, 2010  3:30 AM
 
next:

Episode 3: Battle Data Collection! Creating an Eagle!"

The night after the battle between Ryu and Dennis, Trey had a rough time sleeping. He couldn't stop thinking about what Ryu said: This isn't the last time you will be seeing members of the Gama Clan. "What is the Gama Clan?" Trey asked to no one in particular. "I wonder what they want with me..."

-----

"The plan worked perfectly. My pretend loss to that kid's friend Dennis was perfect. I purposly spoke about the Gama Clan to them." A shadowy figure said.

"Perfect... I have anticipated that Trey will be on the lookout for answers in the Dark Forest. That is where our plan will begin. Go to monitor and keep lookout for him."

The figure stepped out of the darkness, revealing himself to be Ryu. "Yes master, I will do that immediately."

-----

The next day, Trey couldn't take not knowing what Ryu was talking about that moment. He was determined to find answers. "I know where I will look, in the Dark Forest. I know I'm not supposed to go in there, but with my Flame Eagle nothing bad could happen. He slipped on his shoes and sneaked out the door undetected.

The Dark Forest was scarier than he had thought. The trees were so thick that it looked like nighttime. That's probably why it's called the Dark Forest, Trey thought to himself. Every few steps he was tripping over a tree root. He was about to turn back and walk home, until he heard a voice. "Target approaching, deploying Beystadium."

"Huh? What was that? Where is that coming from?" Trey asked. There was a mechanical whirring sound as a stadium rose up from the ground. A person walked out of the bushes and held up a bey and launcher.

"You wan't me to battle you?" Trey asked, puzzled. The person shook their head yes. "Okay, lets do this!"

"Three, two, one, Let it Rip!" Trey could make out that this bey was a Cyber Serpent 85RF.

"So, a Cyber bey. Those can't be any better than a real bey! Got Flame Eagle! Attack!" Flame Eagle was about to go in for an attack, but Cyber Serpent digitized and disappeared. "What? So that is one of the powers of a Cyber beast!"

"Heh. That's not all of them..." The person said slyly. He was right. Cyber Serpent has appeared right behind Flame Eagle and smashed into its wings.

"Hah, that attack only hit the wings on Flame Eagles Track! It's hit was deflected!"

"Well, I commend you on your survivability, but this is the end for your bey! Go Cyber Serpent! Special Move: Corrupt Data Bite Strike!" A giant green snake had appeared from the beyblade, showing it's huge fangs. Corrupted data was coming out of its mouth and the serpent shot it towards Flame Eagle. "Say goodbye to your precious Eagle!"

"Oh no! Eagle!" Trey yelled.

All of a sudden, there was a huge flash, and the mysterious person as well as his bey, were gone. "I wonder what just happened... it doesn't matter, I'm gonna go now." He raced out of the Dark Forest and back to his house.

-----

"Why did you bring me back here? I was about to do away with the darned Eagle!"

"You know very well why we sent you to stop Trey. All we needed was Eagles battle data. Luckily, we had fully gotten it before your attack went through. We still need Flame Eagle though to test out our version. I thought you knew that."

"I did know that. I guess I just got carried away, is all."

"Well, don't do it again, Reggie. We will need to keep an eye on Trey from now on. Zeon! Come here!"

There were loud footsteps, then a tall man walked into the room. "I want you to keep an eye on Trey. Get to know him."

"Yes, I understand. You won't be disappointed..."

End of Episode 3

next episode: Tag-Team Battle! Combination Strike!

Trey and Dennis are having fun at the park when two bladers appear and challenge the two boys. One of the challengers appear to be the same boy who used Poison Gemios! Is it a trap?
Dec. 20, 2010  6:43 AM
 
Great story! I like it!
Are you accepting character requests?
Keep up the good work!!
Dec. 20, 2010  7:03 AM
 
i guess i am taking requests, but not too many. if you submit a character i will see what i can do to get them in. Grin

if you do though, send it in a pm so its not ruined. Tongue_out
Dec. 20, 2010  2:02 PM
 
Much, much better. You are very descriptive, and now the story flows much more than it used to. The mysteriousness is very well-placed, and this feels like a serial novel.
Dec. 20, 2010  7:55 PM
 
Episode 4: Tag-Team Battle! Combination Strike!

"Trey! Where have you been? I've been waiting to battle you all day!" Dennis exclaimed. Trey was just about to walk into his house when Dennis asked. He looked around to make sure nobody was watching or listening in.

"I was in the Dark Forest, looking for answers about this Gama Clan. All I found was a mysterious blader that challenged me."

"And did you beat him?"

"Well, no. He was about to nail me with his special move, but all of a sudden I saw a flash and he was gone."

"At least you didn't lose. Eagle could have been hurt badly. Lets go to the park and have that battle I was talking about earlier." The two walked to the park only to see two people; a boy and a girl. They were dressed in performer costumes. "Hey, look! There are performers!" Dennis said.

"I see them, let's take a look!' Trey answered. They both ran over to where the street performers were.

"Ooof!" yelled the boy as he did a backflip and jumped onto his sisters back. There were claps all around. The girl looked up at her brother.

"Wait, Klaus. Do you see them?" She whispered into his ear.

"Yes, Shirley. I see them. Shall I activate the teleporter?" Whispered Klaus back. There was a nod, and Klaus pulled a shiny button out of his pocket. He took a deep breath, and promptly pushed it.

"Wow, don't you think that these twins are really cool? They are really nimble!" said Dennis with excitement.

There was no answer, and Dennis looked behind him only to see a disappearing Trey. Dennis was starting to disappear too. Soon, both of them were gone.

"I'm sorry we can't stay any longer-" said Klaus.

"-but it's time we hit the road!" Shirley finished. There was a loud *pop*, and both twins were gone too.

-----

"Where are we? What is this place" Trey asked.

"This is our battle stadium. We challenge you to a tag-team battle!" yelled Klaus

"A tag-team battle..." Dennis said. "We accept!"

Both pairs pulled out their beys and readied them.

"Three, two, one, Let it Rip!"

Dennis was intrigued by Klaus' bey. "Dennis, what's the matter?" Trey asked.

"I know that bey... I've seen it somewhere." Suddenly, he remembered that he saw it the same day that Ryu appeared. "That's Poison Gemios 125Q! You were at the park the other day!"

"So you remember me? I was there as a spy to find out your battle strategies!"

The beys were zooming around in the stadium, except for one. It just happened to be Shirley's bey. "Haha, my MF Earth Gemios 230WD is too tall to be hit! It also makes a good safe spot too!" she said confidently.

"Yeah, great safe spot. Go Poison Gemios! Jump on top of Earth Gemios!" Poison Gemios used its tip to bounce right on top on Earth Gemios and remained to stay there.

"Ugh, now we can't hit them" Trey complained. "Either our attacks hit Earth or we hit into 230's center of gravity, where the stability is highest."

"That's right!" Klaus mocked. "You can't even hurt us now! But we can hurt you! "Poison Gemios! Attack!" It bounced of of Earth Gemios and hit both Storm Wolf and Flame Eagle, then returned to the top of Earth Gemios. The battle continued like this for five minutes, until Trey came up with an idea. "I got it! If we can get Poison Gemios from up there, then there will be nowhere for it to avoid our attacks!"

"Just one thing. How are we even going to get up there?" Dennis asked. "It's all the way up there!"

"Not a problem for Flame Eagle. Fly!" The wings on Flame Eagle started to spin. It span so fast that it started to fly a bit. "Fly up to Poison Gemios!" Higher and higher it flew, until it was right above Poison Gemios. "Now, drop on top of him!" The wings started to stop spinning, and dropped swiftly.

"Oh no, Poison Gemios!" Klaus said. "That's it's blind spot!" Poison Gemios got knocked off and stopped spinning.

"You may have beaten him, but you can't beat me! Earth Gemios! Iron Defense!" It started to get heavier and heavier, until any hit would simply not do anything.

"What is going on?" asked Dennis. "Why won't our attacks work?"

"That's because Iron Defense makes Earth Gemios heavy so it repels any attack!" Shirley answered.

"That's what you think! Go Storm Wolf! Special Move: Tornado Fangs!"

"Wait, Dennis!" Trey cried. But it was too late. The attack already started and Wolf proceeded to attack Gemios. The attack was repelled with such force it almost sent wolf flying out of the ring.

"That was too close..." Trey sighed. "Don't be so reckless! Now I've come up with a plan. If we attack him at the same time, then it might be enough to beat her!"

"Okay. Storm Wolf! Create a tornado!"

"Flame Eagle! Fire up!"

"Combination Attack: Fire Tornado Soaring Sky Blast!" they said together. The two beys combined strength combined was too much for Earth Gemios. It quickly toppled over and stopped.

"Aww man, we lost!" Klaus said.

"Yeah, but we'll get them soon enough. See ya!" There was a *pop* and the two boys were sent back to the park.

"Hmm, I'm getting tired of these guys." Trey sighed.

"Yeah, you said it. It's a mystery I guess." Dennis said too.

End of Episode 4

this one probably wasn't as good as the others, im kinda tired. please bear with me
Dec. 20, 2010  9:30 PM
 
Nice story so far. Feels a bit short, but I understand the whole too tired thing.
Dec. 21, 2010  9:04 PM
 
Episode 5: A New Ally! Get Techy With It!

It was still afternoon when Trey and Dennis were sent back to the park. Everything was the same as before, though the twins were gone. "Have you noticed that it looks like the twins were never there?" Dennis asked.

"Yeah. It does look like nothing happened." he answered back. "So let's act like nothing happened!" The two boys walked to the nearest stadium and launched. Their beys were acting sluggish, like they were tired from the battle before. "Aww, our beys are tired from the battle!" Dennis whined.

"Oh, I just noticed that Flame Eagle has some scratches!"

"Ooh, your beys look like they could use some maintenance!" a voice from behind them said. Trey and Dennis were surprised. They turned their heads around to see who said that.

"Why were you behind us?" Trey asked.

"Yeah, were you spying?" Dennis asked too.

The person shook waved his hands. "No, no! My name's Jake! I do beyblade maintenance! Look!" He pulled a small laptop out of his backpack and opened it for them to see. There were lots of words that neither of the two could understand. "I overheard that you two were in a battle, and now your beys need a rest!"

"Yeah, that's right. Can you give them a little maintenance?"

"Sure! Follow me to the Bey Store!"

As the three were walking to the shop, Jake asked them a question. "So, you said that you were in some battle. I never saw anybody like you two battling."

Trey was taken aback by this question. "Uh... err..." This time he lowered to a whisper. "Can we trust you?" Jake nodded his head yes. Trey explained to him everything that had happened thus far including the battle with Ryu.

"Wow, somebody is after you guys... I wanna help!"

"What? You wanna... help?" Dennis asked.

"Sure! I have a bey too, ya know."

After 3 more minutes of silence, the three were standing at the door of the Bey Store.

"Whoa, that place is huge!" Trey exclaimed. He never usually had been there because he never had the money to buy anything.

"Come on in! My lab is in the basement!" Jake said excited.

End of Episode 5
Dec. 23, 2010  10:37 PM
 
sorry guys i wont be able to post the next part until after christmas

again, sorry!
Dec. 24, 2010  12:26 AM
 
all the episodes make me feel like a pretty pretty unicorn that is eating pie and dancing with chuck norris , lady gaga and a ninja cat but then get a lot o money and go to bed and get blown up by "galaxy nova"!!!
Dec. 24, 2010  12:28 AM
 
Wut!?Wut!?Wut!?Wut!?Wut!? that's an awesome random thought
Dec. 24, 2010  12:56 AM
 
(im bord) gracias chico (i am not spanish)
Dec. 24, 2010  7:34 AM
 
nice story
Dec. 25, 2010  3:26 AM
 
i know right
Dec. 28, 2010  12:57 AM
 
Everyone:

Im not going to post anymore parts because im not really liking the story. thanks for everyone that read it but thats it