Yeah, so since the Battle Strikers story didn't work out, i thought maybe you guys would like this one better....It's an original fantasy story of mine revolving around racing and stuff, so i hope you like it


WARNING! Do NOT read if you're under 13...It has some curse words and stuff....Just putting this disclaimer up so i don't get banned or something because of the text in the story. xD


Chapter 1:

Spoiler (Click to View)

Alright then. Let’s start our story already, shall we?! But wait! First we need a setting for our story. And let me tell ya, for a truly epic story, you need a truly epic world. And this is no ordinary epic world; it’s a world with no boundaries, with no beginning and end, a world that is always changing, a world bound only by your imagination. No, not really, I’m lying of course. But that’s in the job description of us story-tellers isn’t it?! Lying is what we do best, and why we exist. But lying isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a form of entertainment, at least when used by a story-teller. Now…Naturally, this world does have a start and stop, but lucky for me and you, nobody’s discovered them yet. And if in the millions of years that life has flourished on this land, if in that time nobody has found where the world ends yet….You know it’s a world worth exploring!

Now, where was I?! Ah yes… In this world there is pretty much everything you could think of! Magic, Robots, Dragons, Giants, Floating Cities and Frozen caverns filled with treasures…And of course there are many evils that try to destroy all life, and just as many note-worthy heroes that stop those evils. But THIS story isn’t about any of those…Why not, you ask?! Why should it be, EH?! Evil is overrated, and every hero is the same. Good, courageous, dashing…and if he isn’t, you just know that he will be by the end! Instead, the story I’m going to tell you is filled with tricksters, trouble-makers, vandalism, eccentrics and lots of explosions. If you’re a fan of that and not the plain old “heroes save the day” format, then you’ll love this story. It starts in a small settlement of all places, in the prosperous smoke-puffing town of Rylian.

It was quite an interesting town, for more than one reason. Filled with crazy characters and interesting mishaps, not a day would pass by without at least a dozen explosions echoing throughout all of Rylian. Of course, not that any of its residents minded those explosions, or took any precaution to them. After all, it was the only industrial town in the land, with steam-driven technology at its peak. Large factories that produced anything you could imagine, from steam-driven hovering boards used for personal transport to weaponry to communication devices to television. Chimneys rising as high as sky-scrapers puffed white smoke continuously, obscuring all but the sunniest of days. Speaking of sunny days, the town had a rather weird weather pattern. Every second day was sunny, for a reason only the town’s mayor knew. But enough about the town itself, let’s move in a small workshop near the south end of it, where our story begins just as a youngster finished repairing his tenth vehicle as an apprentice to the town’s resident smalltime blacksmith and mechanic. That is, tenth that blew up in his face the moment he had finished screwing on the last bolt.

“Bah, forget this!” The spiky blond-haired Demian cursed as he whacked what had remained of the machine with his hammer. Now, to make it clear – “Demian” is the name of his race, a half-breed between elf and human. You could rarely find a pure-bred human or elf anymore. And this one was quite an odd fellow. Lyn was his name and he was only 48 years old…But you see, Demians age slower than humans, and faster than elves. So at the age of 48, he looked seventeen at most, and acted with the mentality of a four year old. And it didn’t help that the fabled elfish wisdom was absent in his mind, and the only thing that wasn’t human on his body were his pointy ears, and even those were half the length of a normal elf’s.

“Easy now, kiddo.” His colossal mentor walked through the room with a wrench the size of his apprentice resting on his shoulders. He was another half-breed, but nobody knew his parents or his origin. All everyone knew was that he had been in the town repairing pots and machinery for as long as the town has existed. His massive feet stomped the ground, causing miniature earthquakes with each step taken. His name was Eldarian, but nobody called him that. To everyone in the town he was known as Dar the mechanic. Being at least twelve feet tall and just as broad, he had to construct his workshop to fit his size, and as such, it was like a vast warehouse.

“I give up.” Lyn threw his toolbox behind him and spread on the floor, exhausted. His worn out shirt was the only thing between him and the cold bedrock that was the floor of this workshop, but he didn’t seem to mind. To him that cold floor was as warm as a bed beside a fireplace. He enjoyed every minute spent lying around, because most of his time inside the workshop was spent either trying to learn to fix machines or practicing blacksmithing and it was very tiring to him. But for all that work, he was awarded with a toned body, one even a professional athlete would envy.
“Yeah, you always do. And yet, the next day you still grab that hammer and still manage to lighten my pouch by a dozen coins.” Dar sat on his favorite chair, fashioned from the tree-trunk of an old tree, cut down ages ago.
“True.” He exhaled heavily as he stretched his limbs, ready to sleep.
“Hey! Hey now, Lyn! Get up!” He nudged the boy with a long branch he always kept nearby. “It’s not even the middle of the day, and you want to sleep? Get up boy, and clean that mess.” He ordered his disciple in a strict manner, even raising his voice to make himself clear.

“Fine.” With a deep breath, he jumped on his feet and grabbed a broom. Well, called one anyways. You see, like many of his kind, Lyn was knowledgeable in the many uses of magic. Nobody knew how Demians had the knowledge they did, it seemed to be something they were born with. Unlike many of his kind, however, he was quite bad at the use of it and even worse was the fact that he was always eager to use it which resulted in…well moments like this, when he flung his wrist, hoping the broom would fly his way. Instead, it shoved itself in the large belly of Dar. And he was not too happy about it.

“Lyn!!” He roared fiercely as he gave chase to this troublemaker he had grown to call son.

Truth was their relationship wasn’t just that of a mechanic and his apprentice. It was a long time ago when Dar found Lyn causing trouble in the local market, stealing apples, wearing nothing but a small white scarf and black socks that were set on fire. He didn’t know where this little kid that was running around in flames came from, but he knew where he was going. Dar didn’t know why, but for some reason he wanted to adopt Lyn, to set him on the right track. Perhaps it was old age creeping up on him, or just the need for another pair of hands in his workshop. But ever since then he had been looking after Lyn as if he was his own son. And Dar had also grown to regret doing so, for more than one reason.

“Come here you little brat!” They rushed out of the workshop and into the busy streets. Laughing, the agile trouble maker swiftly moved around the crowd while Dar tried his best not to step on anybody by accident. But it wasn’t long until the chase came to an end, when Lyn accidentally crashed into a random stranger by getting too full of himself and forgetting to pay attention.

“Damn it!” He cursed as he got up on his feet, realizing he had knocked down quite a beautiful lady with long red hair. He helped her on her feet, all the while looking at her. “Why hello there.” He said in a flirtatious voice.
“Ah! I’m late, I’m late!” She seemed to pay no attention to him or the dust that covered her clothes as she struggled to pick up various notes from the ground. She seemed to be in much of a hurry, struggling to pick up everything she had dropped as fast as possible.

“Let me help ya with that!” Lyn dropped down as he got his hand on a flyer of sorts. It read “Enter the most explosive race in the world today!” and it was about a cross-country race that will change his life forever.
“Ah! I’m definitely late!” Without even a word to him, the girl started running to an unknown direction.

“Hey wait up!” He picked up the few papers she had forgotten on the ground and gave chase to this mysterious lady. But it was a busy day, and he knew there was no choice to catch up…or at least on the streets, there wasn’t. So he jumped on the nearest roof and started running and jumping from one roof to another, all the while keeping an eye for a running red-head. And soon he noticed her, as she was running towards what appeared to be a stand, with the words “Sign up HERE!” written all over the banner above it.

“Finally!” He dropped down next to her, as she appeared to be the only one near the stand. Nobody seemed to even notice the stand, and those who did tried to avoid it for some reason.
“Hey, lady! You dropped these!” He tapped her on the shoulder as she was eagerly talking and tapping with her fingers on the stand.
“Huh?!” Finally she turned her attention to him. “Oh my god, thank you!” She dropped all the papers she was carrying and with not even a hint of hesitation – she hugged and kissed him, much to his surprise. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t found these.”
“Umm…you’re welcome?!” Still dumbfound, he tried to remember what he was doing as he handed over the papers. As it turned out, among those papers was the admission form for the race this girl wanted to enter.

“Here you go!” With an innocent smile she handed over the admission form to the old man with the glasses sitting behind the stand.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not eligible to enter the race.” The man replied.
“What?! What are you talking about everything is right there, I even…” She kept talking and mumbling, not making much sense while Lyn tried to talk to her.
“Hey umm…about the kiss…”
“It’s just not fair how some people do everything right and STILL can’t enter the race.”
“I’m sorry, but your team doesn’t have enough members.”
“What do you mean?! Four people, says right there!”
“Again, I’m sorry but the rules were updated. Due to demand, the rules now dictate the teams have from five to ten members in order to enter the race.”

“Not fair!” She dropped on her knees, crying as Lyn still didn’t know what was going on. “Now where am I going to find another racer?!” She tried to stop her tears.
“Umm excuse me but why exactly did you ki…” He didn’t manage to finish that sentence when the redhead girl looked up to him with teary, hopeful eyes.
“Hey. You wouldn’t…” She wiped off her tears and got up on her feet. “You wouldn’t happen to be a racer, would you?”
“What?!”
“Doesn’t matter! Just tell me your name!”
“Lyn…It’s Lyn. But why do you want to…”
“Lyn! There we go!” Quickly she scribbled on his name on that form and just like that, Lyn’s life was changed forever, even if he didn’t know it yet.
“Wait a second, why did you write my name in there?!”

Instead of an answer, he got another hug and kiss from the girl with the red hair.
“Thank you SO much!” Her joy was endless at the moment as she refused to let go of him.
“Congratulations boy.” The man behind the counter shook Lyn’s hand as he handed over the same admission form, now with a seal of approval, to him. “You’re now part of the race.” He then fixed up his glasses to get a better look of the boy. “Hey, I know you. Aren’t you Dar’s kid?! I didn’t know you were a racer!”
“Wait, what race?! Can you please tell me what’s going on?!”
“It’s a magical race across all of Meloran. It’s huge for our town as it’s the first time the race starts here.”
“I see. Magical huh?! Well I guess it can’t be that bad. What are the rules?”
“There aren’t any. So be careful now!” He said as he looked at his watch. “And you were just in time! Admission of new teams is officially closed!” He snapped his fingers and just like that the wooden stand between him and Lyn vanished.

“Well, I guess it’s going to be fun at least!” He brushed off any worry in his mind, still not paying any attention to the redhead that was stuck to him. “So…. Are you going to tell me your name?!”
“Idene, but you can call me D.” She finally let go of him. “Oh, right! Can I have the form, please?!”
“Sure.” He handed over the small piece of paper.
“But wait, if you’re going to race with us, you MUST meet the team!” Idene grabbed his arm, ready to pull him off to another location when a loud horn was sounded. “Or not! The race is about to start! Let’s go!” She snapped her fingers as a broom flew down and she hoped on it, forcing Lyn onto it as well. With another snap the broom took off at the speed of sound, nearly piercing through Lyn’s ears with the sonic boom it caused. In matter of seconds, they were at the starting point.

“Finally, D!” A bulky man dressed in green spoke with a deep, commanding tone. He appeared to be the leader of the team, with a few more people behind him. Lyn couldn’t get a good look, as he couldn’t even catch a breath before being handed over a board and told to read the instructions by Idene.
“New rules! Five people! New guy! Let’s go!” She spoke in short sentences and a high pitch and only the man in green seemed to understand her.
“Right! Well let’s hope the new guy can at least use magic to defend himself.” He spoke before turning to Lyn. “New guy!” Lyn raised his head from behind the steel board. “Magic?! Yes?! No?!”
“Yes?!”
“Good! Get ready and make sure to read the instructions. We’re about to start.”
“What instructions?!” Lyn scratched his head as he followed the other four of his team to the starting line.
“Nothing big…Just…Press the red button and hold on tight.” Idene tapped him on the back.
“Alright, here we go!” She cheered on as they each took their position. Lyn took his place between his new teammates, these new people he had never seen before in his life. The feeling of excitement was slowly increasing his heart beat. He didn’t know why, but he had this itch in the back of his hand, this feeling that something big was about to happen. And it did…

A loud horn was sounded as a legion of fans cheered the racers on. The race had started and everybody zoomed off except for Lyn, who was caught off guard by the loud noise and struggled to find that red button on the board beneath his feet. Then he saw it!
“In dire situations, hold onto your pants and press the red button.”
“Alright then, let’s do it!” With a daredevil smile he pressed the red button and held onto the board with his hands, crouching to do so. And he tried to prepare for anything, bracing himself. But…he didn’t brace hard enough for what was coming. An explosion of flames burst from his board as he shot forwards at incredible speeds, breaking through every rock and tree that was between him and the rest of his team who were in the lead.
“Damn! This feels awesome!” After a minute of struggling, he managed to stabilize himself and began to steer the fire-breathing board under his feet. Soon he had caught up to his teammates.
“Glad to see you’re alive so far!” A familiar redhead shouted out to him as she waved from above him. She was riding on that same broom as before, enjoying the wind in her face with a smile as she kept an eye on her new teammate.
“Hah! It takes a lot more than an explosion to kill me.”
“Explosion?! Oh you pressed the red button! Good for you!” She clapped her hands.

“That wasn’t what she meant new guy.” The leader approached him, seemingly flying through the air. “She meant that!” He pointed in front of him as a giant monster arose from the rock.

“Incoming!” He shouted with a large grin as he kicked off the ground, shooting ahead at an insane velocity. And just moments after, the mountain-sized stone colossus dropped his hand down on Lyn. It was then that he realized this was no ordinary race…

Chapter 2:

Spoiler (Click to View)

“Incoming!” He shouted with a large grin as he kicked off the ground, shooting ahead at an insane velocity. And just moments after, the mountain-sized stone colossus dropped his hand down on Lyn. It was then that he realized this was no ordinary race…

Chapter 2

“This won’t end well!” Lyn could already see his demise as a gigantic shadow was spreading, with a limb just as big dropping down fast. True, he wasn’t standing still either, moving at great speeds on the hoverboard he was given, but even so the colossus’ hand was too big to outrun. Sand and pebbles rained down as the beast’s hand was descending upon him. But just as he had given up all hope, friendly words of demise tickled his ears, as he heard Idene chanting above him whilst riding on her broom.
“Oh beast! Let thy limb writhe and succumb. See thy arm twist and permit father time to play his flute on thy hand. Feel time’s claws scratch with joy on thy skin and suffer the passing of an era!” She recited whilst pointing her hands at the monster, arms crossed and eyes closed. And when she finally opened them, as purple sparks flashed in her lovely blue eyes she spoke three more words that have brought about the demise of so many beings before it. “I Curse you!” She shouted to the top of her lungs. Not a moment later the colossus’ entire arm dissipated, time accelerating only in that space. You could hear rock crackle and turn to dust; dust in turn escaping into the wind. Little by little, before long the entire arm wasted away in the wind, leaving the monster lighter by one limb.

Before long, the shadow that was obscuring the sun was gone, and Lyn felt relief and joy overflow his heart. He could hear the calm breeze blowing through his hair; feel the dust and smell the wheat that the wind was carrying. For a moment all the pressure and tension were gone. Indeed he had never seen anything like this before, but he was no stranger to magic, and he knew that with magic everything was possible. And as such, he wasn’t taken off guard by this action, and instead he now focused on evading the few small rocks that were falling, left over from the destroyed limb.

But of course, the monster didn’t just stand there and take the hit. Without as much as a flinch, it went back on the offense, now lifting up his foot as the earth shook from the shifting of his weight. Just as a foot the size of a small village was lifted, the beast unleashed a deafening battle cry that sent chills down Lyn’s spine. But he didn’t let fear get to him this time. He knew, or at least hoped that he’d be saved yet again. And he was, just not by the person he expected. His savior came with the sound of a wheel spinning perpetually, moving against the dry rock that made up most of the ground at these parts.

“Onwards Helena!!!Time to bombard that abomination.” Lyn could swear he heard the screeching voice of an old man coming from behind him, perhaps one who was albeit mentally unstable, when the only thing he could see was a small girl dressed in a long, light gray hoodie and white boots that covered nearly the wholesome of her legs, inside a giant mechanical wheel that spun around her, as if it was attached to her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, even though he could see no visible connection between the two. It was as if there was an invisible force that held the girl firmly on the inside of the wheel as it kept spinning.

And just as the wheel accelerated slowly, nearing on Lyn, he finally saw the source of that odd voice. The girl behind him straightened her left arm to the side, as if she was pointing away from the wheel. And with a flash of light running along the side of that arm, it split in two. Just like a mechanical contraption, it opened up, forming a sort of a door as a portal appeared on the inside of it and a set of stairs came out, forming a sort of a stand just above the height of the wheel. And from the portal he came out. The age old face of a wise story-teller, with the unshaven beard and moustache of a tyrant and the quirky hair of a mad scientist with too many experiments gone haywire. All that attached to a body covered in a white lab coat, his entirety not much bigger than that a ten year old. In fact, he was a head shorter than the girl inside the wheel which couldn’t have been older than twelve.

“Ha! Taste the magnificent power of my ever-evolving science!” He spoke as he raised his hand in the air and opened another similar portal above him. And from out of nowhere, machinery at least ten times the size of its summoner dropped down. It was a horrid fusion of at least a dozen weapons. With a plethora of barrels and rockets pointing everywhere, it had an entire arsenal at its disposal. “Fire!” The old man in the lab coat shouted as he pulled the trigger and a swarm of bullets and rockets was launched towards the colossus. One, however, did not launch, and instead that lonely rocket remained in its place, beeping as a sign of activation.

“Blast! The last one never fires!” In haste he threw the weapon away as the rocket detonated just shortly after hitting the ground. It was an explosion strong enough to level a skyscraper. The smell of gunpowder spread through the air as hundreds of tiny metal scraps rained down. “Thank god it was the weakest one!” He exclaimed in relief as he ran back into the portal in a rush, holding onto his coat. And just as the portal closed and the girl pulled back her arm, all the explosives that were launched moments ago hit the colossus and reduced his lifted leg to smithereens in a fiery dance of explosions.

“And that is our resident mad doctor!” Idene spoke as Lyn finally took his eyes off the weird girl with the splitting arm, the giant wheel she rode inside of, and finally – the mad “doctor” that came out of that same splitting arm.
“I am not a mad doctor, you imbecile! I have a doctorate in Advanced Physics and Mechanic Works, but that’s not the same! I have a Ph.D in SCIENCE and I am a quintessential man of SCIENCE and I spend my days doing nothing but SCIENCE.” He spoke, just before another small portal opened and his head popped out only to yell at Idene. “AKA I AM BATSHIT CRAZY!” He yelled out before his head disappeared through the small portal.
“Yeah yeah I got it!” She waved, annoyed with all the shouting. Shortly after, she whispered to Lyn. “He hates it when you call him a doctor.”

“I got that, thank you.” He smiled, all the while wondering if the two – the redhead and the scientist, were teammates or mortal enemies. “And thanks for….whatever it is you two did.”
“No worries, we’re a team after all! Oh, speaking of team…You know me of course, the big guy with the green shirt is Noah, he’s our awesome leader. That right there is Helena…”She was referring to the strangely emotionless girl inside the spinning wheel. “And the scientist’s name is Rastelius, but we call him Razzy. And…” She smiled as she stopped talking to look at the big blue sky. Her smile widened just as she was about to say something, but stopped and simply pointed to the sky above Lyn.

Lightning cracked as a large steel cauldron was flying through the sky. Yes, a black cauldron easily the size of a small house, with deadly fumes and flames coming out of it as it was being propelled through the air. And on top of that cauldron, riding it like a steed was one pissed off mage. And what a lean and tall mage it was, complete in a black coat and pointy hat. He had the body of a man who’s never picked up a tool or worked a day in his life. But of course, it was a rather deceiving first conclusion one might get from the look of this mage. And it was his face that gave out his true colors.
“You motherfucking colossus, curse you for ruining my favorite hat! I’ll rip your goddamn spine in half and shove you back into the carp of the mother earth you came from!!!” With the widened gaze of a madman, he shouted in rage, his wide open mouth revealing a sharp set of teeth. He then took his quirky leather hat off, revealing his wild cyan hair that blew in the wind. And as the cauldron kept on moving towards the colossus that wasn’t even paying attention to him, the mage looked at the hat and the small cut on the side of it one last time before scorching it with flames in the palm of his hand and roaring like an enraged bull. With a slam of his staff on the cauldron, it erupted with an explosion as the mage started accelerating towards the colossus, the mage proceeding to shoot out fireballs at least the size of that cauldron, at the unlucky monster. The colossus was knocked off balance, slowly leaning backwards as his entire body was bursting in flames at different areas.
“Oh, hell no! You ain’t falling down that easy!” The mage moved his staff as he suddenly disappeared from sight. And without any guidance, the cauldron kept flying, eventually hitting the colossus’ chest, burying itself deep into the core of the beast.

After seeing all that, Lyn was wondering where that mage could’ve gone when he heard a familiar rage coming from behind the colossus.
“Atone for your sins and DIE!!” The raging cyan-haired mage pulled the long sleeves of his robe back as he dug his arms deep into the back of the colossus, appearing like a small flea on the back of a very big human. “It’s suplex time, carp!” Whether it was magic or pure rage that powered him, he managed to uproot the colossus from the ground, flip the entirety of the beast upside down, and in the midst of a warcry, slam its head into the rocky floor beneath him. With a shockwave spreading through the land, the colossus hit the ground, its head flattening completely due to the weight forced onto it. Naturally, Lyn was left with his jaw wide open, this time with no idea what to think or say.

“And that’s Blueborn Rex.” Idene lowered next to Lyn, now finding herself between him and Helena. “Weird name, I know!” She whispered to his ear but he could barely hear her as he was too caught up in the fact that he saw a mage turn a monster the side of a mountain upside down, and proceed to shove it into the ground. Even as Idene was talking to him, the mage was on top of the colossus’ lifeless body – beating it down with his staff and shoving it further and further into the ground.

…And it was only the beginning of the race!

And after you read it, feel free to lemme know your thoughts/criticism/praise/questions about the story

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cool idea. is it supposed to be a fast paced version of Sonic Riders? I get that thought from racing on super fast boards.

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Member of Team Gravity Warriors, Terra Blazer

Well...i guess that's ONE way of looking at it. But no, you'll see that Sonic Riders, compared to THIS, is like comparing a speed-walking race to a race with super-sonic bikes, riding on top of super-sonic fighter jets who are racing through an obstacle course with flaming obstacles....that try to kill you. xD
But yeah, it's an extreme, over-the-top racing story. WITH MAGIC!

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Hah, keep going, it's an awesome idea. considering how stories like this usually go, that stone giant is gonna wish he hadn't come out for that race. yeah Lyn!

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Member of Team Gravity Warriors, Terra Blazer

dude your idea ROCKS pm me when you written the next Part

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dude your idea ROCKS pm me when you written the next Part

Haha, thanks! Glad you like it, and...i don't know when the next chapter is coming so...yah, you'll just have to check back or something

Hah, keep going, it's an awesome idea. considering how stories like this usually go, that stone giant is gonna wish he hadn't come out for that race. yeah Lyn!

Thanks for the nice words, i appreciate it

And i wouldn't be too sure on that...this isn't going to be like most stories you've read

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Sorry for double post, just wanted to let ya all know that i edited the first chapter, fixed a few things i didn't like, and i think it's ALOT better now. You should reread it cos there are a lot of differences now

And also, i'll work on chapter 2 this weekend, so hopefully by the end of the weekend i'll have it done and you can read it

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Wow. I must admit I'm impressed. I mean no offense, but many writers on the WBO may not have the ability to..erm..write well. Your fluency and grammar is impeccable, and I love the way you set up the character. We can already get a feel for his personality traits and characteristics. Remember, now that you have finished introducing the characters, or most of them that have appeared at this time, you should now begin to get around to the plot. Make sure you include lots of detail-use all of your senses! Dekailo once told me that smell is the #1 trigger for memories, so be sure to use that the most.

To summarize, I think (Please don't let this go to your head, but) this is one of the best stories (in terms of grammar, fluency, etc, etc) on the WBO. Nice work, well done!

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Wow. I must admit I'm impressed. I mean no offense, but many writers on the WBO may not have the ability to..erm..write well. Your fluency and grammar is impeccable, and I love the way you set up the character. We can already get a feel for his personality traits and characteristics. Remember, now that you have finished introducing the characters, or most of them that have appeared at this time, you should now begin to get around to the plot. Make sure you include lots of detail-use all of your senses! Dekailo once told me that smell is the #1 trigger for memories, so be sure to use that the most.

To summarize, I think (Please don't let this go to your head, but) this is one of the best stories (in terms of grammar, fluency, etc, etc) on the WBO. Nice work, well done!

Woah, thanks alot, Sparta! It means a LOT, what you said! And coming from a person with such a badass username...it's just an honor! But yes, i will get around to the plot, i plan on intertwining plot with character introduction, so that it's not just a bulk of plot, then a cut-off paragraph introducing the character, then back to a bulk of plot. I've been trying to do the same for chapter 1 as well
And thanks for the SMELL idea...I'll make sure to use it(Though i gotta say, when writing the first chapter i wanted to give more VISUAL cues than anything.) A bad on my side, i suppose, so I'll make sure to touch ALL YOUR SENSES from chapter 2 onwards

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Giving up? Really? Well, I think that this type of story gives more freedom than your Battle Striker story. I could not help it by noticing the beginning of this chapter: "Evil is overrated, and every hero is the same. Good, courageous, dashing… and if he isn’t, you just know that he will be by the end!" I just had to laugh about that because my God's Pawn suddenly appeared in my picture of that sentence.

Guess I have more to read later on.

Nice btw.

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Hobbies: Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG, Beyblade, Gaming, Writing and Create Music.
Founder of: Riverbed Production and Marathon Squad.

http://www.youtube.com/kavasiki <- go if you feel like it.

Giving up? Really? Well, I think that this type of story gives more freedom than your Battle Striker story. I could not help it by noticing the beginning of this chapter: "Evil is overrated, and every hero is the same. Good, courageous, dashing… and if he isn’t, you just know that he will be by the end!" I just had to laugh about that because my God's Pawn suddenly appeared in my picture of that sentence.

Guess I have more to read later on.

Nice btw.

Thanks! And yeah, i created the world for Race!On! So that pretty much ANYTHING is possible. I can and WILL do anything...and you're in for a wild ride with this story.

As for the God's Pawn reference....I didn't mean it intentionally, it was aimed more at the general fiction archetypes and plots. But yah, to be honest i prefer stories that are more wild and fun rather than serious and involve the possible death of everything. BUT, that doesn't have to mean it's a bad story On the contrary, like i've told you, your story IS awesome, and that fact is something beyond my personal preference

---

Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

Wow. I must admit I'm impressed. I mean no offense, but many writers on the WBO may not have the ability to..erm..write well. Your fluency and grammar is impeccable, and I love the way you set up the character. We can already get a feel for his personality traits and characteristics. Remember, now that you have finished introducing the characters, or most of them that have appeared at this time, you should now begin to get around to the plot. Make sure you include lots of detail-use all of your senses! Dekailo once told me that smell is the #1 trigger for memories, so be sure to use that the most.

To summarize, I think (Please don't let this go to your head, but) this is one of the best stories (in terms of grammar, fluency, etc, etc) on the WBO. Nice work, well done!

Woah, thanks alot, Sparta! It means a LOT, what you said! And coming from a person with such a badass username...it's just an honor! But yes, i will get around to the plot, i plan on intertwining plot with character introduction, so that it's not just a bulk of plot, then a cut-off paragraph introducing the character, then back to a bulk of plot. I've been trying to do the same for chapter 1 as well
And thanks for the SMELL idea...I'll make sure to use it(Though i gotta say, when writing the first chapter i wanted to give more VISUAL cues than anything.) A bad on my side, i suppose, so I'll make sure to touch ALL YOUR SENSES from chapter 2 onwards

'welcome dude.
P.S. Almost forgot! ....wait, carp, I forgot again...

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Don't worry, i'm sure it was nothing important

Oh and BTW, i'll start accepting characters after the first race is done(in 5-6 chapters), and i'll provide a character profile thingy you need to fill out But that's in the future, so let's forget about it and focus on the NOW.

---

Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

AND CHAPTER 2 IS HERE! Now, it's half as long as chapter 2, so if you think length is important, then sorry! If not, i hope you enjoy it

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS SWEARING AND STUFF!!! SO RECOMENDED FOR AGES 13 AND UP!!!

Spoiler (Click to View)

“Incoming!” He shouted with a large grin as he kicked off the ground, shooting ahead at an insane velocity. And just moments after, the mountain-sized stone colossus dropped his hand down on Lyn. It was then that he realized this was no ordinary race…

Chapter 2

“This won’t end well!” Lyn could already see his demise as a gigantic shadow was spreading, with a limb just as big dropping down fast. True, he wasn’t standing still either, moving at great speeds on the hoverboard he was given, but even so the colossus’ hand was too big to outrun. Sand and pebbles rained down as the beast’s hand was descending upon him. But just as he had given up all hope, friendly words of demise tickled his ears, as he heard Idene chanting above him whilst riding on her broom.
“Oh beast! Let thy limb writhe and succumb. See thy arm twist and permit father time to play his flute on thy hand. Feel time’s claws scratch with joy on thy skin and suffer the passing of an era!” She recited whilst pointing her hands at the monster, arms crossed and eyes closed. And when she finally opened them, as purple sparks flashed in her lovely blue eyes she spoke three more words that have brought about the demise of so many beings before it. “I Curse you!” She shouted to the top of her lungs. Not a moment later the colossus’ entire arm dissipated, time accelerating only in that space. You could hear rock crackle and turn to dust; dust in turn escaping into the wind. Little by little, before long the entire arm wasted away in the wind, leaving the monster lighter by one limb.

Before long, the shadow that was obscuring the sun was gone, and Lyn felt relief and joy overflow his heart. He could hear the calm breeze blowing through his hair; feel the dust and smell the wheat that the wind was carrying. For a moment all the pressure and tension were gone. Indeed he had never seen anything like this before, but he was no stranger to magic, and he knew that with magic everything was possible. And as such, he wasn’t taken off guard by this action, and instead he now focused on evading the few small rocks that were falling, left over from the destroyed limb.

But of course, the monster didn’t just stand there and take the hit. Without as much as a flinch, it went back on the offense, now lifting up his foot as the earth shook from the shifting of his weight. Just as a foot the size of a small village was lifted, the beast unleashed a deafening battle cry that sent chills down Lyn’s spine. But he didn’t let fear get to him this time. He knew, or at least hoped that he’d be saved yet again. And he was, just not by the person he expected. His savior came with the sound of a wheel spinning perpetually, moving against the dry rock that made up most of the ground at these parts.

“Onwards Helena!!!Time to bombard that abomination.” Lyn could swear he heard the screeching voice of an old man coming from behind him, perhaps one who was albeit mentally unstable, when the only thing he could see was a small girl dressed in a long, light gray hoodie and white boots that covered nearly the wholesome of her legs, inside a giant mechanical wheel that spun around her, as if it was attached to her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, even though he could see no visible connection between the two. It was as if there was an invisible force that held the girl firmly on the inside of the wheel as it kept spinning.

And just as the wheel accelerated slowly, nearing on Lyn, he finally saw the source of that odd voice. The girl behind him straightened her left arm to the side, as if she was pointing away from the wheel. And with a flash of light running along the side of that arm, it split in two. Just like a mechanical contraption, it opened up, forming a sort of a door as a portal appeared on the inside of it and a set of stairs came out, forming a sort of a stand just above the height of the wheel. And from the portal he came out. The age old face of a wise story-teller, with the unshaven beard and moustache of a tyrant and the quirky hair of a mad scientist with too many experiments gone haywire. All that attached to a body covered in a white lab coat, his entirety not much bigger than that a ten year old. In fact, he was a head shorter than the girl inside the wheel which couldn’t have been older than twelve.

“Ha! Taste the magnificent power of my ever-evolving science!” He spoke as he raised his hand in the air and opened another similar portal above him. And from out of nowhere, machinery at least ten times the size of its summoner dropped down. It was a horrid fusion of at least a dozen weapons. With a plethora of barrels and rockets pointing everywhere, it had an entire arsenal at its disposal. “Fire!” The old man in the lab coat shouted as he pulled the trigger and a swarm of bullets and rockets was launched towards the colossus. One, however, did not launch, and instead that lonely rocket remained in its place, beeping as a sign of activation.

“Blast! The last one never fires!” In haste he threw the weapon away as the rocket detonated just shortly after hitting the ground. It was an explosion strong enough to level a skyscraper. The smell of gunpowder spread through the air as hundreds of tiny metal scraps rained down. “Thank god it was the weakest one!” He exclaimed in relief as he ran back into the portal in a rush, holding onto his coat. And just as the portal closed and the girl pulled back her arm, all the explosives that were launched moments ago hit the colossus and reduced his lifted leg to smithereens in a fiery dance of explosions.

“And that is our resident mad doctor!” Idene spoke as Lyn finally took his eyes off the weird girl with the splitting arm, the giant wheel she rode inside of, and finally – the mad “doctor” that came out of that same splitting arm.
“I am not a mad doctor, you imbecile! I have a doctorate in Advanced Physics and Mechanic Works, but that’s not the same! I have a Ph.D in SCIENCE and I am a quintessential man of SCIENCE and I spend my days doing nothing but SCIENCE.” He spoke, just before another small portal opened and his head popped out only to yell at Idene. “AKA I AM BATSHIT CRAZY!” He yelled out before his head disappeared through the small portal.
“Yeah yeah I got it!” She waved, annoyed with all the shouting. Shortly after, she whispered to Lyn. “He hates it when you call him a doctor.”

“I got that, thank you.” He smiled, all the while wondering if the two – the redhead and the scientist, were teammates or mortal enemies. “And thanks for….whatever it is you two did.”
“No worries, we’re a team after all! Oh, speaking of team…You know me of course, the big guy with the green shirt is Noah, he’s our awesome leader. That right there is Helena…”She was referring to the strangely emotionless girl inside the spinning wheel. “And the scientist’s name is Rastelius, but we call him Razzy. And…” She smiled as she stopped talking to look at the big blue sky. Her smile widened just as she was about to say something, but stopped and simply pointed to the sky above Lyn.

Lightning cracked as a large steel cauldron was flying through the sky. Yes, a black cauldron easily the size of a small house, with deadly fumes and flames coming out of it as it was being propelled through the air. And on top of that cauldron, riding it like a steed was one pissed off mage. And what a lean and tall mage it was, complete in a black coat and pointy hat. He had the body of a man who’s never picked up a tool or worked a day in his life. But of course, it was a rather deceiving first conclusion one might get from the look of this mage. And it was his face that gave out his true colors.
“You motherfucking colossus, curse you for ruining my favorite hat! I’ll rip your goddamn spine in half and shove you back into the carp of the mother earth you came from!!!” With the widened gaze of a madman, he shouted in rage, his wide open mouth revealing a sharp set of teeth. He then took his quirky leather hat off, revealing his wild cyan hair that blew in the wind. And as the cauldron kept on moving towards the colossus that wasn’t even paying attention to him, the mage looked at the hat and the small cut on the side of it one last time before scorching it with flames in the palm of his hand and roaring like an enraged bull. With a slam of his staff on the cauldron, it erupted with an explosion as the mage started accelerating towards the colossus, the mage proceeding to shoot out fireballs at least the size of that cauldron, at the unlucky monster. The colossus was knocked off balance, slowly leaning backwards as his entire body was bursting in flames at different areas.
“Oh, hell no! You ain’t falling down that easy!” The mage moved his staff as he suddenly disappeared from sight. And without any guidance, the cauldron kept flying, eventually hitting the colossus’ chest, burying itself deep into the core of the beast.

After seeing all that, Lyn was wondering where that mage could’ve gone when he heard a familiar rage coming from behind the colossus.
“Atone for your sins and DIE!!” The raging cyan-haired mage pulled the long sleeves of his robe back as he dug his arms deep into the back of the colossus, appearing like a small flea on the back of a very big human. “It’s suplex time, carp!” Whether it was magic or pure rage that powered him, he managed to uproot the colossus from the ground, flip the entirety of the beast upside down, and in the midst of a warcry, slam its head into the rocky floor beneath him. With a shockwave spreading through the land, the colossus hit the ground, its head flattening completely due to the weight forced onto it. Naturally, Lyn was left with his jaw wide open, this time with no idea what to think or say.

“And that’s Blueborn Rex.” Idene lowered next to Lyn, now finding herself between him and Helena. “Weird name, I know!” She whispered to his ear but he could barely hear her as he was too caught up in the fact that he saw a mage turn a monster the side of a mountain upside down, and proceed to shove it into the ground. Even as Idene was talking to him, the mage was on top of the colossus’ lifeless body – beating it down with his staff and shoving it further and further into the ground.

…And it was only the beginning of the race!

---

Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

AND CHAPTER 2 IS HERE! Now, it's half as long as chapter 2, so if you think length is important, then sorry! If not, i hope you enjoy it

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS SWEARING AND STUFF!!! SO RECOMENDED FOR AGES 13 AND UP!!!

Spoiler (Click to View)

“Incoming!” He shouted with a large grin as he kicked off the ground, shooting ahead at an insane velocity. And just moments after, the mountain-sized stone colossus dropped his hand down on Lyn. It was then that he realized this was no ordinary race…

Chapter 2

“This won’t end well!” Lyn could already see his demise as a gigantic shadow was spreading, with a limb just as big dropping down fast. True, he wasn’t standing still either, moving at great speeds on the hoverboard he was given, but even so the colossus’ hand was too big to outrun. But just as he had given up all hope, friendly words of demise tickled his ears, as he heard Idene chanting above him, whilst riding on her broom.
“Oh beast! Let thy limb writhe and succumb. See thy arm twist and permit father time to play his flute on thy hand. Feel time’s claws scratch with joy on thy skin and suffer the passing of an era!” She recited whilst pointing her hands at the monster, arms crossed and eyes closed. And when she finally opened them, she spoke three more words that have brought about the demise of so many beings before it. “I Curse you!” She shouted and the colossus’ entire arm dissipated, time accelerating only in that space. You could hear rock crackle and turn to dust; dust in turn escaping into the wind.



Before long, the shadow that was obscuring the sun was gone, and Lyn felt relief and joy overflow his heart. Indeed he had never seen anything like this before, but he was no stranger to magic, and he knew that with magic everything was possible. And so, he wasn’t taken off guard by this action, and instead focused on evading the few small rocks that were falling. But of course, the monster didn’t just stand there and take the hit.

Without as much as a flinch, he went back on the offense, now lifting up his foot as the earth shook from the shifting of his weight. Just as a foot the size of a small village was lifted, the beast unleashed a deafening battle cry that sent chills down Lyn’s spine. But he didn’t let fear get to him this time. He knew, or at least hoped that he’d be saved yet again. And he was, just not by the person he expected. And it came with the sound of a wheel spinning perpetually against the dry rock that made up the ground at these parts.

“Onwards Helena!!! Time to bombard that abomination” Lyn could swear he heard the screeching voice of an old man coming from behind him, perhaps one who is albeit mentally unstable, when the only thing he could see was a small girl dressed in a long, light blue hoodie and white boots that covered nearly the wholesome of her legs, inside a giant mechanical wheel that spun around her, as if it was attached to her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, even though he could see no visible connection between the two. It was as if there was an invisible force that held the girl firmly on the inside of the wheel as it kept spinning.

And just as the wheel accelerated slowly, nearing on Lyn, he finally saw the source of that odd voice. The girl behind him straightened her left arm to the side, leading outside of the wheel. And with a flash of light running along the side of that arm, it split in two. And just like a mechanical contraption, it opened up, forming a sort of a door as a portal appeared on the inside of it and a set of stairs came out, forming a sort of a stand just above the height of the wheel. And from the portal he came out. The age old face of a wise story-teller, with the unshaven beard and moustache of a tyrant and the quirky hair of a mad scientist with too many experiments gone haywire. All that attached to a body covered in a white lab coat, his entirety not much bigger than that a ten year old. In fact, he was a head shorter than the girl inside the wheel which couldn’t have been older than twelve.

“Ha! Taste the power of my science!” He spoke as he raised his hand in the air and opened another similar portal above him. And from out of nowhere, machinery at least ten times the size of its summoner appeared. It was a horrid fusion of at least a dozen weapons. With a plethora of barrels and rockets pointing everywhere, it had an entire arsenal at its disposal. “Fire!” The old man in the lab coat shouted as he pulled the trigger and a swarm of bullets and rockets was launched towards the colossus. One, however, did not launch, and instead that lonely rocket remained in its place, beeping as a sign of activation.

“Blast! The last one never fires!” In haste he threw the weapon away as the rocket detonated just shortly after hitting the ground. It was an explosion strong enough to level a skyscraper. “Thank god it was the weakest one!” He exclaimed in relief as he ran back into the portal in a rush, holding onto his coat. And just as the portal closed and the girl pulled back her arm, all the explosives that were launched moments ago hit the colossus and reduced his lifted leg to smithereens in a fiery dance of explosions.

“And THAT is our resident mad doctor!” Idene spoke as Lyn finally took his eyes off the weird girl with the splitting arm, the giant wheel she rode inside of, and finally – the mad “doctor” that came out of that same splitting arm.
“I am not a mad doctor, you imbecile! I have a doctorate in Advanced Physics and Mechanic Works, but that’s not the same! I have a Ph.D in SCIENCE and I am a quintessential man of SCIENCE and I spend my days doing nothing but SCIENCE.” He spoke, just before another small portal opened and his head popped out only to yell at Idene. “AKA I AM BATSHIT CRAZY!” He yelled out before his head disappeared through the small portal.
“Yeah yeah I got it!” She waved, annoyed with all the shouting. Shortly after, she whispered to Lyn. “He hates it when you call him a doctor.”

“I got that, thank you.” He smiled, all the while wondering if the two – the redhead and the scientist, were teammates or mortal enemies. “And thanks for….whatever it is you two did.”
“No worries, we’re a team after all! Oh, speaking of team…You know me of course, the big guy with the green shirt is Noah, he’s our awesome leader. That right there is Helena…”She was referring to the strangely emotionless girl inside the spinning wheel. “And the scientist’s name is Rastelius, but we call him Razzy. And…” She smiled. Her smile widened just as she was about to say something, but stopped and simply pointed to the sky above Lyn.

Lightning cracked through the sky as a large steel cauldron was flying through the sky. And on top of the cauldron, riding it like a steed was one pissed off mage. And what a lean and tall mage it was, complete in a black coat and pointy hat.
“You motherfucking colossus, curse you for ruining my favorite hat! I’ll rip your goddamn spine in half!” He took his quirky leather hat off, revealing his wild cyan hair. The mage then looked at the hat and the small cut on the side of it one last time before scorching it with flames in the palm of his hand and roaring like an enraged bull. And with a slam of his staff on the cauldron, it erupted with an explosion as the mage started accelerating towards the colossus, proceeding to shoot out fireballs the size of a small house at the unlucky monster. The colossus was knocked off balance, slowly leaning backwards as his entire body was bursting in flames at different areas.
“Oh, hell no! You ain’t falling down that easy!” The mage moved his staff as he suddenly disappeared from sight. The cauldron kept flying, eventually hitting the colossus’ chest.

Lyn was wondering where he could’ve gone when he heard that familiar rage coming from behind the colossus.
“ATONE FOR YOUR SINS AND DIE!” The raging cyan-haired mage dug his arms deep into the back of the colossus, appearing like a small flea on the back of a very big human. But this was no flea for sure. “It’s suplex time, carp!” Whether it was magic or pure rage that powered him, he managed to flip the colossus upside down, and in the midst of a warcry, slam its head into the rocky floor beneath him, flattening the head completely due to the weight forced onto it. Naturally, Lyn was left with his jaw wide open.

“And that’s Blueborn Rex.” Idene lowered next to Lyn, now finding herself between him and Helena. “Weird name, I know!” She whispered to his ear, as he could barely hear her as he was too caught up in the fact that he saw a mage turn a monster the side of a mountain upside down, and proceed to shove it into the ground. Even as Idene was talking to him, the mage was on top of the collosus’ lifeless body – beating it down with his staff, shoving it further and further into the ground.

…And it was only the beginning of the race!

Wowzas! Very well done! Nice description of the colossus at the beginning. I could get a good feel for what it looked like (Kind of..try to include more senses)

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

AND CHAPTER 2 IS HERE! Now, it's half as long as chapter 2, so if you think length is important, then sorry! If not, i hope you enjoy it

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS SWEARING AND STUFF!!! SO RECOMENDED FOR AGES 13 AND UP!!!

Spoiler (Click to View)

“Incoming!” He shouted with a large grin as he kicked off the ground, shooting ahead at an insane velocity. And just moments after, the mountain-sized stone colossus dropped his hand down on Lyn. It was then that he realized this was no ordinary race…

Chapter 2

“This won’t end well!” Lyn could already see his demise as a gigantic shadow was spreading, with a limb just as big dropping down fast. True, he wasn’t standing still either, moving at great speeds on the hoverboard he was given, but even so the colossus’ hand was too big to outrun. But just as he had given up all hope, friendly words of demise tickled his ears, as he heard Idene chanting above him, whilst riding on her broom.
“Oh beast! Let thy limb writhe and succumb. See thy arm twist and permit father time to play his flute on thy hand. Feel time’s claws scratch with joy on thy skin and suffer the passing of an era!” She recited whilst pointing her hands at the monster, arms crossed and eyes closed. And when she finally opened them, she spoke three more words that have brought about the demise of so many beings before it. “I Curse you!” She shouted and the colossus’ entire arm dissipated, time accelerating only in that space. You could hear rock crackle and turn to dust; dust in turn escaping into the wind.



Before long, the shadow that was obscuring the sun was gone, and Lyn felt relief and joy overflow his heart. Indeed he had never seen anything like this before, but he was no stranger to magic, and he knew that with magic everything was possible. And so, he wasn’t taken off guard by this action, and instead focused on evading the few small rocks that were falling. But of course, the monster didn’t just stand there and take the hit.

Without as much as a flinch, he went back on the offense, now lifting up his foot as the earth shook from the shifting of his weight. Just as a foot the size of a small village was lifted, the beast unleashed a deafening battle cry that sent chills down Lyn’s spine. But he didn’t let fear get to him this time. He knew, or at least hoped that he’d be saved yet again. And he was, just not by the person he expected. And it came with the sound of a wheel spinning perpetually against the dry rock that made up the ground at these parts.

“Onwards Helena!!! Time to bombard that abomination” Lyn could swear he heard the screeching voice of an old man coming from behind him, perhaps one who is albeit mentally unstable, when the only thing he could see was a small girl dressed in a long, light blue hoodie and white boots that covered nearly the wholesome of her legs, inside a giant mechanical wheel that spun around her, as if it was attached to her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, even though he could see no visible connection between the two. It was as if there was an invisible force that held the girl firmly on the inside of the wheel as it kept spinning.

And just as the wheel accelerated slowly, nearing on Lyn, he finally saw the source of that odd voice. The girl behind him straightened her left arm to the side, leading outside of the wheel. And with a flash of light running along the side of that arm, it split in two. And just like a mechanical contraption, it opened up, forming a sort of a door as a portal appeared on the inside of it and a set of stairs came out, forming a sort of a stand just above the height of the wheel. And from the portal he came out. The age old face of a wise story-teller, with the unshaven beard and moustache of a tyrant and the quirky hair of a mad scientist with too many experiments gone haywire. All that attached to a body covered in a white lab coat, his entirety not much bigger than that a ten year old. In fact, he was a head shorter than the girl inside the wheel which couldn’t have been older than twelve.

“Ha! Taste the power of my science!” He spoke as he raised his hand in the air and opened another similar portal above him. And from out of nowhere, machinery at least ten times the size of its summoner appeared. It was a horrid fusion of at least a dozen weapons. With a plethora of barrels and rockets pointing everywhere, it had an entire arsenal at its disposal. “Fire!” The old man in the lab coat shouted as he pulled the trigger and a swarm of bullets and rockets was launched towards the colossus. One, however, did not launch, and instead that lonely rocket remained in its place, beeping as a sign of activation.

“Blast! The last one never fires!” In haste he threw the weapon away as the rocket detonated just shortly after hitting the ground. It was an explosion strong enough to level a skyscraper. “Thank god it was the weakest one!” He exclaimed in relief as he ran back into the portal in a rush, holding onto his coat. And just as the portal closed and the girl pulled back her arm, all the explosives that were launched moments ago hit the colossus and reduced his lifted leg to smithereens in a fiery dance of explosions.

“And THAT is our resident mad doctor!” Idene spoke as Lyn finally took his eyes off the weird girl with the splitting arm, the giant wheel she rode inside of, and finally – the mad “doctor” that came out of that same splitting arm.
“I am not a mad doctor, you imbecile! I have a doctorate in Advanced Physics and Mechanic Works, but that’s not the same! I have a Ph.D in SCIENCE and I am a quintessential man of SCIENCE and I spend my days doing nothing but SCIENCE.” He spoke, just before another small portal opened and his head popped out only to yell at Idene. “AKA I AM BATSHIT CRAZY!” He yelled out before his head disappeared through the small portal.
“Yeah yeah I got it!” She waved, annoyed with all the shouting. Shortly after, she whispered to Lyn. “He hates it when you call him a doctor.”

“I got that, thank you.” He smiled, all the while wondering if the two – the redhead and the scientist, were teammates or mortal enemies. “And thanks for….whatever it is you two did.”
“No worries, we’re a team after all! Oh, speaking of team…You know me of course, the big guy with the green shirt is Noah, he’s our awesome leader. That right there is Helena…”She was referring to the strangely emotionless girl inside the spinning wheel. “And the scientist’s name is Rastelius, but we call him Razzy. And…” She smiled. Her smile widened just as she was about to say something, but stopped and simply pointed to the sky above Lyn.

Lightning cracked through the sky as a large steel cauldron was flying through the sky. And on top of the cauldron, riding it like a steed was one pissed off mage. And what a lean and tall mage it was, complete in a black coat and pointy hat.
“You motherfucking colossus, curse you for ruining my favorite hat! I’ll rip your goddamn spine in half!” He took his quirky leather hat off, revealing his wild cyan hair. The mage then looked at the hat and the small cut on the side of it one last time before scorching it with flames in the palm of his hand and roaring like an enraged bull. And with a slam of his staff on the cauldron, it erupted with an explosion as the mage started accelerating towards the colossus, proceeding to shoot out fireballs the size of a small house at the unlucky monster. The colossus was knocked off balance, slowly leaning backwards as his entire body was bursting in flames at different areas.
“Oh, hell no! You ain’t falling down that easy!” The mage moved his staff as he suddenly disappeared from sight. The cauldron kept flying, eventually hitting the colossus’ chest.

Lyn was wondering where he could’ve gone when he heard that familiar rage coming from behind the colossus.
“ATONE FOR YOUR SINS AND DIE!” The raging cyan-haired mage dug his arms deep into the back of the colossus, appearing like a small flea on the back of a very big human. But this was no flea for sure. “It’s suplex time, carp!” Whether it was magic or pure rage that powered him, he managed to flip the colossus upside down, and in the midst of a warcry, slam its head into the rocky floor beneath him, flattening the head completely due to the weight forced onto it. Naturally, Lyn was left with his jaw wide open.

“And that’s Blueborn Rex.” Idene lowered next to Lyn, now finding herself between him and Helena. “Weird name, I know!” She whispered to his ear, as he could barely hear her as he was too caught up in the fact that he saw a mage turn a monster the side of a mountain upside down, and proceed to shove it into the ground. Even as Idene was talking to him, the mage was on top of the collosus’ lifeless body – beating it down with his staff, shoving it further and further into the ground.

…And it was only the beginning of the race!

Wowzas! Very well done! Nice description of the colossus at the beginning. I could get a good feel for what it looked like (Kind of..try to include more senses)

Yeah, i know! I should edit chapter 2....But i was just in such a hurry to post it yesterday xD I'm an idiot lolz
But thanks!

---

Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

it's awesome dude

---

sig by me

it's awesome dude

Thanks man, appreciate it! Also quick note - i edited chapter 2 and updated it xD It's better and longer now Well, not by alot, just by 300 words or so, but it's still better. Wow, you guys must hate me for doing this thing TWICE in a row. I'll try to avoid doing stuff like this in the future!

---

Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

Great story, although what was up with the battle strikers one? WAIT, had an idea, maybe we could write a joint story? Well, you would need to work out the grammatical errors and other stuff, as im not too pro myself

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Looking for a burning kerberous, a black dranzer f and a dranzer v2, if you have any of them pm me. Also if you have some cheap mfb beyblades pm me.
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Beyblade - Dragulus Story
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Great story, although what was up with the battle strikers one? WAIT, had an idea, maybe we could write a joint story? Well, you would need to work out the grammatical errors and other stuff, as im not too pro myself

Thanks, and like i said, the Battle strikers story wasn't working out....This story got more attention in a week than the BS one got in a month xD
Anyways, how bout you PM me your idea?!

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http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA

nice work, kinda reminds me of my story idea just more explosive, magical, dangerous and bigger than mine (mine is just like a racing version of the chaotic world). anyway this is an idea that could realy go far.

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nice work, kinda reminds me of my story idea just more explosive, magical, dangerous and bigger than mine (mine is just like a racing version of the chaotic world). anyway this is an idea that could realy go far.

Thanks alot mate, im really glad you think so! But yah, i think it could go far too (I'm hoping for maybe a manga in future?! Yeah, far fetched....but i guess dreamers gonna dream, huh?!)

ALSO, just an update: My week is full with tests and school stuff so i don't think i'll be able to write a chapter this week...i HOPE, however, for some character bios(for the main characters) at least, so you know a bit more about the characters

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Kolosos's chat <<---Please check out my chat

and

http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-MAGIA-The-Spellcaster-s-TCG <<---Please check out my TCG - MAGIA