Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests

Poll: What do you think of my story?

Excellent
58.33%
7
I like it
33.33%
4
Needs a lot of Improvement
8.33%
1
Total: 100% 12 vote(s)
Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep: Xehanort Saga
I know my first story didn't go out so well but this one is even better. So tell me what you think of it.
Chapter 01: Creative Beginning (Click to View)
Chapter 02: The Journey Begins (Click to View)
Chapter 03 Prt.1: Mysterious Unversed (Click to View)
Chapter 04 Prt.2: Blader Launches (Click to View)
Chapter 05: Prt.3 Battle Engages (Click to View)
Chapter 06: Another Day, Another Bey (Click to View)
Chapter 07: Axel's Miraclous Change (Click to View)
Chapter 08: Lea Who? (Click to View)
Chapter 09: A New Manager! (Click to View)
 
Spoiler of the Next Saga (Click to View)
Pictures of the Team
[Image: th?id=H.4726994867194374&pid=1.7&w=107&h=183&c=7&rs=1]
[Image: kh_aqua_ven_terra.jpg]
It has a few spacing mistakes and describing the story could be better. I'm really fond of beyblade school like stories, they remind of Yu-Gi-Oh GX. I think it can use some work, but if you work on it, it sounds like it would be a very nice story.
Show me where the mistakes are and I'll correct them.
"Sure he is Terra,"said Aqua(needs a space between " and said.)


Actually every time someone speaks and you add said you need a space "______ " said ____.
Just fixed it. Thanks.
Alright Chapter 2 is up.
Looks nice, but could use some work.
Okay I've edited Chapter 2. I hope my story is interesting to you guys. Tongue_out
Chapter 03 will be up later today or tomorrow. Depending on which day I'm moving Tongue_out
Chapter 03 is edited Ultramarine.
There are some grammar mistakes, and the names are a bit unoriginal, but it has potential.
Keep it up!
I know. The names are from KH: BBS. I love the game but cannot remember most of the game. Tongue_out Thank you for the encouragement Ultramarine. Your Frozen Mistakes story inspired me to write this one.
Really? Wow, thanks! That means a lot! Good luck with your story, I'll be keeping up.
Thanks. I look up to you. Grin
Wow, thank you so much! Just tell my mom that XD
If you ever need any tips or something, just ask me!
LOL. I'll p.m. you. I really need help renovating this story.
Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today.
(Aug. 05, 2013  5:41 AM)Sorablader Wrote: Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today.
aside from what was previously mentioned, I actually enjoyed it, keep it up Smile
Thank you.
There are still missing question marks ("Are you ready to begin your journey, Ventus," should have a question mark instead of a comma at the end) but a great improvement! I will definitely keep up to date with this!
Yes. Gooo improvement!
Alright now the new Chapter 03 is up.
It's good, but the chapter could be a bit longer. Also, maybe the characters should be a bit more scared, as I would freak out if some goo tried to attack me, haha.
But it's getting better!
Okay the other two should be scared, but Terra is a jerk in my opinion. He's kinda bossy, and he's going to continue to be bossy as the story advances. Joyful_2
Read post #10 please.