World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests (/Thread-Kingdom-Beyblade-Ventus-s-Journey-Untold-Taking-Character-Requests)

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Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013

Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep: Xehanort Saga
I know my first story didn't go out so well but this one is even better. So tell me what you think of it.
Chapter 01: Creative Beginning (Click to View)
Chapter 02: The Journey Begins (Click to View)
Chapter 03 Prt.1: Mysterious Unversed (Click to View)
Chapter 04 Prt.2: Blader Launches (Click to View)
Chapter 05: Prt.3 Battle Engages (Click to View)
Chapter 06: Another Day, Another Bey (Click to View)
Chapter 07: Axel's Miraclous Change (Click to View)
Chapter 08: Lea Who? (Click to View)
Chapter 09: A New Manager! (Click to View)
 
Spoiler of the Next Saga (Click to View)
Pictures of the Team
[Image: th?id=H.4726994867194374&pid=1.7&w=107&h=183&c=7&rs=1]
[Image: kh_aqua_ven_terra.jpg]


RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - 6 God - Aug. 02, 2013

It has a few spacing mistakes and describing the story could be better. I'm really fond of beyblade school like stories, they remind of Yu-Gi-Oh GX. I think it can use some work, but if you work on it, it sounds like it would be a very nice story.


RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013

Show me where the mistakes are and I'll correct them.


RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - 6 God - Aug. 02, 2013

"Sure he is Terra,"said Aqua(needs a space between " and said.)


Actually every time someone speaks and you add said you need a space "______ " said ____.


RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013

Just fixed it. Thanks.


RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013

Alright Chapter 2 is up.


RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - RagerBlade - Aug. 02, 2013

Looks nice, but could use some work.


RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013

Okay I've edited Chapter 2. I hope my story is interesting to you guys. Tongue_out


RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 03, 2013

Chapter 03 will be up later today or tomorrow. Depending on which day I'm moving Tongue_out


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Chapter 03 is edited Ultramarine.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013

There are some grammar mistakes, and the names are a bit unoriginal, but it has potential.
Keep it up!


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

I know. The names are from KH: BBS. I love the game but cannot remember most of the game. Tongue_out Thank you for the encouragement Ultramarine. Your Frozen Mistakes story inspired me to write this one.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013

Really? Wow, thanks! That means a lot! Good luck with your story, I'll be keeping up.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Thanks. I look up to you. Grin


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013

Wow, thank you so much! Just tell my mom that XD
If you ever need any tips or something, just ask me!


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

LOL. I'll p.m. you. I really need help renovating this story.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - SwitchBlayder - Aug. 05, 2013

(Aug. 05, 2013  5:41 AM)Sorablader Wrote: Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today.
aside from what was previously mentioned, I actually enjoyed it, keep it up Smile


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Thank you.


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013

There are still missing question marks ("Are you ready to begin your journey, Ventus," should have a question mark instead of a comma at the end) but a great improvement! I will definitely keep up to date with this!


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Yes. Gooo improvement!


RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Alright now the new Chapter 03 is up.


RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013

It's good, but the chapter could be a bit longer. Also, maybe the characters should be a bit more scared, as I would freak out if some goo tried to attack me, haha.
But it's getting better!


RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013

Okay the other two should be scared, but Terra is a jerk in my opinion. He's kinda bossy, and he's going to continue to be bossy as the story advances. Joyful_2


RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 07, 2013

Read post #10 please.