Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013
Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep: Xehanort Saga
I know my first story didn't go out so well but this one is even better. So tell me what you think of it.
His journey began as Ventus Waywind walked across the meadowland path on a sunny day. The sun shined across his ocean blue eyes. The wind blew across his blonde, silk hair. He carried his "Beyblade Masters 101" textbook as he walked through the door of his new Beyblade Dorm at E.B.A. Ericas Beyblade Masters Academy. The academy's owner goes by the name of Master Ericas. He has run the academy for over 60 years. Everyone greeted him with smiling faces and waving hands.
"Whoa, this place is cool," said Ventus as he looked at a stained glass of two Bladers.
"We will do it Kreis Pegasus UW145R²F," he said looking for the administrator.
"Oh there you are....Ventus Waywind to be exact," the administrator, Master Ericas, said looking at his clipboard.
"Lets begin shall we,",said Ericas pulling out Basalt Wolf 230RDF.
They walked into the Beyblade Station of Awakening launching their beys.
3....
2....
1....
Go Shoot!!!
"Go now Pegasis," said Ventus.
"Show me your power by using your 'Special Move'," says Ericas charging his bey at Pegasis.
"Okay. Special Move, Reflect," called out to Pegasis.
Reflect consists of copying the opponents every move for a long period of time. For example if a bey were to do an air combo, Pegasis would meet the attack by also flying into the air.
"Very perceptive, Young One," said Ericas.
"Go now, Wolf, Freezing Wolf Claw," he said.
The two beys clashed fiercely. The clash was epic. Pegasus copied every move Wolf made. Clash after clash until.......
"Go now Pegasus Special Move, Waywind Slash," said Ventus as Pegasus slashed Wolf out of the station.
"No one has ever defeated me on the first try. You're an extraordinary boy," said Master Ericas.
"So you are worthy enough to go on a journey to prove you can control a bey," said Master Ericas.
"Yeah I guess I am," said Ventus.
"I need you to defeat Master Xehanort, a threat to all worlds, I know you were his pupil once, but I need you to take him down. Along the way you will need help, so I have chosen our soon to be Beyblade Masters, Terra Quaker and Aqua Bubblewave," said Master Ericas. The two 19 yr. old walked towards Ventus to introduce themselves. Terra's brown chocolate hair covered his brown eyes. Aqua's blue hair bounced as the sun shined through her purple eyes.
"Allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Aqua Bubblewave, and this Terra Quaker," explained Aqua.
"What is your name child?," asked Terra.
"My name is Ventus Waywind. Nice to meet you both," said Ventus.
"So are you ready to begin your journey, Ventus?" said Master Ericas.
"Sure am. Lets go," said Ventus.
And then their journey began. What will lie ahead for the adventurers? Who knows? As the three teens walked along the meadowland path, mysterious things started happening.
"Who did that?" asked Terra feeling a shrug on his shoulder.
Then a puddle of black goo started following them.
"Have you noticed that black puddle has been following us? Thats........strange,"said Ventus watching the black puddle turning into gigantic monster.
"It's... one of the Brusiers," said Aqua.
"Don't just stand there!" exclaimed Terra.
3…
2…
1…
Go Shoot!!!
"Go now Aquario. Smash hard," said Aqua to her Divine Aquario R145HF/S.
"Leone, Fang Smasher," Terra said to his Duo Leone TR145CF.
"Go now Pegasus," said Ventus.
The Bruiser slashed and punched, but it was overpowered by the beys. When it was hit, the Creature dissolved into air leaving three bey parts on the ground.
"Whats this? A Death metal wheel, a Metal Face Heavy, and a Giga Flat Bottom," explained Ventus.
He changed his bey to MF-H Death Pegasus UW125GF.
"Well lets test it out," says Aqua.
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!
"Pegasus, Wing Shield," said Ventus as The Death Metal Wheel shifted into Defense Mode. Ventus through a Giant Boulder onto Pegasus. Then when Pegasus was about to hit it........ "Go Shoot!!!" said a blader. The bey that was launched was a Proto Nemesis R145EDS.
"Huh? Who are you?" asked Ventus.
"My name you ask? *Grunt* We will finish this at the fated place and time," the stranger said. They all disappeared to the Station of Awakening, but everything had changed. Master Ericas had been tied up in a corner. The students were being mind controled by the stranger, launching the beys at the three teens.
"Ventus, we'll hold them off while we battle these students," says Terra as he pulls Aqua into battling.
"As your flesh bares Sigil, for your name shall be known as — of that a Recusant," said the stranger summoning another one of the bruisers. Blue Bruiser. Owner of piercing blue, giant sharp claws, and has a bat shaped symbol
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!!!
The Blue Bruiser was even more powerful than the other.
"Pegasus, Wing Shield!" said Ventus.
"No you don't. Go Shoot!!!" said the stranger. "Nemesis, Shadow Aura," he said as Proto covered everything in darkness. Pegasus tried to hit him but the Bruiser disappeared and Nemesis hit him out of the way. Bruiser left 2 more pieces on the ground as they floated to Ventus's pocket.
"Pegasus, Wing Slash," said Ventus.
The two beys clashed fiercely as one with light and one with darkness exploded everywhere.
"Nemesis retreat. We cannot take anymore. By the Way my name is Marluxia," he said.
"Wait a minute you cannot run away," Ventus exclaimed.
"Ventus we've cleared the sector and freed Ericas," said Aqua.
"We have to follow him," said Ventus.
"Well lets go," said Master Ericas. The 4 ran as fast as they could run. They got to the Heart of Dreams. And guess who was there.
"Finally. You're here. Took you long enough," said Master Xehanort as Marluxia, Braig, and Xemnas stood behind him.
"Xehanort! You..." said Master Ericas.
"Terrorized our Academy for years..." finished Aqua.
"For no apparent reason..." finished Terra.
"Which also scarred the lives of many others" said Ventus.
"You have no power to defeat me" said Xehanort.
"My friends... they are my power!" exclamed Ventus.
"Arrghhh. Those are just words you've lost... Xemnas he's all yours," said Braig as he and
Xehanort disappeared.
"As your flesh bares the sigil..." said Xemnas.
"Your name shall be known as..." said Marluxia.
"OF THAT A RECUSANT" said Xemnas and Marluxia materializing their launchers in their hand pulling out their beys.
Xemnas with Meteo L-Drago X: D
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!!!
"Aqua, Master Ericas go follow them. Me, and Terra will take care of this," said Ventus.
"Okay. Go now Leone, Fang Smash Attack," said Terra.
"Okay. Go now Pegasus, Wing Smash Attack," said Ventus.
"COMBINE SPECIAL MOVES. EARTH WING STRIKE!" said Ventus and Terra.
"L-Drago, Energy Generator" said Xemnas.
Pegasus, Leone, and L-Drago clashed fiercely.
"Go Shoot!!!" said a person behind the bushes," Go now Phoenix, Barrage Mode!"
As Phoenix hit ther was an explosion. Only Xemnas's and Marluxia's beys were knocked out.
"Who are you," said Ventus.
"Me? I'm Chase Time," he said.
After awhile he explained himself and showed them his bey-Blitz Phoenix T125CS. He told them he was on a journey to seek the right team. Ventus told him all about the Xehanort Saga.
So after they got settled they went to go find Aqua and Ericas at a nearby Hotel.
"Terra, Chase... We need to find Them....." Ventus said being interrupted by the T.V.
Monday! Monday! Monnndaaayyy! Is the time to sign up for the Beybrawlers Tournament! Please confront these places near you:
Sleepy Inn Hotel
Beyblade Academy
and many more!
The deadline is Wednesday!! the Television DJ said.
"That's it we'll go there to look! Ericas and Aqua must be lookin' for us there!" said Ventus.
"We're in Sleepy Inn aren't we," said Chase," Ventus go get the forms and we'll have battle rounds."
"Whoa. Slow down Horsey. We don't have another member," said Terra.
"Maybe I can take that place?" "You're Axel the Beybrawlers Winter Champion" said Terra.
"Yep. I could take that place for you...if you let me battle you," said Axel.
Okay. I'll get the application," said Ventus.
When they got the application, they headed back to Beyblade Academy to train.
"Let's go to the Moogle Shop first, then we can battle select. Then we fill out the application," said Ventus.
They switched and swapped. Ventus's beyblade was Goreim Pegasus TR145GF, Terra's was Goreim Gryph BD145DS, Chase's was Archer Phoenic R145MS, and Axel's bey was Genbull Begaridos TH170TB.
"Okay let's get this battle started. Me and Terra go first then whoever wins they get to battle the other round's victor," said Ventus.
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!
"Go now Gryph, Claw Stance!" said Terra.
Gryph slid right into the middle of the stadium.
"Pegasus break the stance with Goriem Wing Slash! When the attack hits, roll off of him quick!" said Ventus.
Pegasus broke the defensive stance and did exactly what Ventus said.
"Gryph! No!" said Terra as Gryph was knocked out.
"Yeah! So let's get the Axel vs. Chase match started," said Ventus.
"Guys something is wrong with Axel," said Terra.
"It's Lea. Got it Memorized?" "Lea Who now?" said Ventus.
"I am me now," said Lea. "I am my human form"
"I thought it was a legend," said Chase.
"Legend or not I'm me again. Before I met Xehanort, I was Lea. I used to go see tournaments.
"B-e-y-b-l-a-d-e. Beyblades I guess. Whoa this is cool!" said Young Lea.
"The winner is... Carina!"
"Hello...I'm Lea." he said.
"Well I'm Carina nice to meet you'" she said.
They walked and talked until they got to her house.
"Well all I have is a Shadow Wolborg MS but...Here's one Storm Hades H145EDS," she said.
"Thats when I met Xehanort," said Lea.
"Time Sleep," said Xehanort.
"And thats when Hades transformed," said Lea.
There was a knock on the door. It was Carina.
"Hey aren't you that that boy I gave that bey to? Your Name was Axel was it?" she said.
"No I told you my name is ... Axel fine. But what are you doing here Carina?" Lea said.
"Hey Carina would you like to join us on our journey?" said Ventus.
"Sure I will" said Carina.
Then after she settled down, they started Lea's battle.
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!!!
"Hades, Thrash Phoenic!" said Lea as Phoenic was K.O.ed instantly.
"That was easy! Ventus Are you ready?" he said.
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!!!
The two beys clashed fiercely, and one clash after another, they didn't back down. But Pegasus came on top.
"I won!! Now let's get this application signed out," said Ventus. As they were about to board the ship to Beybrawlers, they noticed another team called Team Hammer Bolt aboard.
3...
2...
1...
Go Shoot!!!
"Dragonis, Electric Fang Dance!" said Sora King, the leader.
"Dragoon, Lightning Fang Striker," said Link Triforce, the Co-Leader. Â
"Riku! He's over here", said Sora.
""I know! Go Shoot!" said Riku.
"Nemisis," said Xehanort. Pictures of the Team
[Image: th?id=H.4726994867194374&pid=1.7&w=107&h=183&c=7&rs=1]
[Image: kh_aqua_ven_terra.jpg]
RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - 6 God - Aug. 02, 2013
It has a few spacing mistakes and describing the story could be better. I'm really fond of beyblade school like stories, they remind of Yu-Gi-Oh GX. I think it can use some work, but if you work on it, it sounds like it would be a very nice story.
RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013
Show me where the mistakes are and I'll correct them.
RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - 6 God - Aug. 02, 2013
"Sure he is Terra,"said Aqua(needs a space between " and said.)
Actually every time someone speaks and you add said you need a space "______ " said ____.
RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013
Just fixed it. Thanks.
RE: {Kingdom Hearts Related} Beyblade: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013
Alright Chapter 2 is up.
RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - RagerBlade - Aug. 02, 2013
Looks nice, but could use some work.
RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 02, 2013
Okay I've edited Chapter 2. I hope my story is interesting to you guys.
RE: -Beyblade: Birth By Sleep- - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 03, 2013
Chapter 03 will be up later today or tomorrow. Depending on which day I'm moving
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Chapter 03 is edited Ultramarine.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013
There are some grammar mistakes, and the names are a bit unoriginal, but it has potential.
Keep it up!
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
I know. The names are from KH: BBS. I love the game but cannot remember most of the game. Thank you for the encouragement Ultramarine. Your Frozen Mistakes story inspired me to write this one.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013
Really? Wow, thanks! That means a lot! Good luck with your story, I'll be keeping up.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Thanks. I look up to you.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013
Wow, thank you so much! Just tell my mom that XD
If you ever need any tips or something, just ask me!
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
LOL. I'll p.m. you. I really need help renovating this story.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - SwitchBlayder - Aug. 05, 2013
(Aug. 05, 2013 5:41 AM)Sorablader Wrote: Unfortunately, I had to start over on my story. There was so much editing to be done so All chapters will be done Today. aside from what was previously mentioned, I actually enjoyed it, keep it up
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Thank you.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013
There are still missing question marks ("Are you ready to begin your journey, Ventus," should have a question mark instead of a comma at the end) but a great improvement! I will definitely keep up to date with this!
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Yes. Gooo improvement!
RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Alright now the new Chapter 03 is up.
RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - Dual - Aug. 05, 2013
It's good, but the chapter could be a bit longer. Also, maybe the characters should be a bit more scared, as I would freak out if some goo tried to attack me, haha.
But it's getting better!
RE: [MFB Story]Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep (Ventus's Side) - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 05, 2013
Okay the other two should be scared, but Terra is a jerk in my opinion. He's kinda bossy, and he's going to continue to be bossy as the story advances.
RE: Beyblade Revolution: Birth By Sleep - кαмυι カムイ - Aug. 07, 2013
Read post #10 please.
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