Kingdom Beyblade: Ventus's Journey Untold Taking Character Requests

Poll: What do you think of my story?

Excellent
58.33%
7
I like it
33.33%
4
Needs a lot of Improvement
8.33%
1
Total: 100% 12 vote(s)
Chapter 04 is very short because Prt. 3 is here!
Chapter 05: Prt.3 Battle Engages (Click to View)
Chapter 05 is updated in post #26.
I like it! Good job!
(Aug. 10, 2013  2:43 AM)Sorablader Wrote: Chapter 05 is updated in post #26.

You should put it in the OPSmile
anyway I like this story!!Smile it's cool! Good job!
The thing I'm posting on gives me a limit of words on my posts. Tongue_out
Shout Out
I am taking character requests
Don't spam! Just tell me.
Name:Ace yamakiro
gender:male
age:13
beyConfusedoaring phoenix
attribute:fire and wind
special moves:Wind crushing wing,Soaring combustion
Screcrt move:Blazing twin wing burage
bio: Ace is a average boy with a twist he loves to image daydream take walks but that changes at night he changes to an brave ace at blading that will burn his opponent if they mess with him or his friends
Bey design:
metal wheel first layer of 4d Wings on two sides
main metal:Red flames in coated on the metal
clear wheel red flame wings
spintrack:T125 but its red
Tip:CS blue
Sorry
Is it okay if his name is Alec Charmander xD. And his bey is Flash Phoenix T125CS. If not then no because YOU used that character already.
Chapter 06: Another Day, Another Bey (Click to View)
This is a really good story but it needs improvement in the narrative section. The narration in this is lacking. Overall I would like to give this a 6.5/10. I know you are only 12. I was writing much like that 2 years ago, when I was 12. I will try and help you because you have reawakened by bey memories of plastics 2 years ago.

Edit: Just read chapter 6, The quality in your writing has really improved I really like this story now. New rating: 8.5/10. SmileSmile

Character request:
Name: Jack Wong
Bey: Phantom Howlgust
Element: Ice and Fire
Image of howlust bit beast - http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images...sDemon.jpg

Bey parts:
Metal wheel + frame both have phantom shape
Clear wheel: black and red
S135BD

Character bio: Jack is a normal boy with blue eyes and black hair. When his father was about to die, a bey was shot from somewhere and stopped the metal frame falling on his dad. Ever since Jack has used that bey, believing in its power.

Special Moves: Ghost Leap, Great Claw Grip, Criss-Cross Blaze, Ice Fang Fury

Ghost leap:
Phantom Howlgust makes a ghost copy and both leap to the side of the stadium. Then they leap from the edge and dive onto the opponent's beyblade. The Howlgust blades' metal wheels are facing the face bolt of the opponent's bey and then.. contact.. then... victory!
Great Claw Grip:
Phantom Howlgust moves to the center of the stadium and stands his ground, surviving any type of attack for a certain amount of time.
Criss-Cross Blaze: Not fully controllable yet, Jack is reluctant to ever use this move. (It is a lot like rei's ultimate Gatling claw except Jack can't control it yet. Also it is a mixture of ice and fire that hit the opponent)
Ice Fang Fury: The bey runs head on at the opponent's, doing a set pattern twice - 2x (smash, barrage, smash); also, the bey is covered in ice whilst doing this. Smile
Chapter 07: Axel's Miraclous Change (Click to View)
Okay so I couldn't fit your character in. He's going to be a beymechanic in the tournament. That's all.
I'd rather him not be in the story at all then. Unhappy,... oh well. Sorry but you can't use him or I will get angry.
Chapter 08: Lea Who? (Click to View)
I will edit later.
-DELETED-
(Aug. 22, 2013  8:56 PM)Sorablader Wrote: OKAY. All chapters are up in OP.

Do not double post, just edit your last post.
Sorry bro. Hey I thank you for the support.
SO, when will be have chapter nine, I am really interested.
CHAPTER 08 isnt finished yet
Okay, so when will you work on that?
If your still taking requests, here it is
Well...............................Dang. He really is evil Ifraid. Okay he is going to be in chapter 09 if that is okay with you...