Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests)
Poll: Do you like it?
| Yes |
|
9 |
| No |
|
0 |
| I don't know yet... |
|
4 |
| Always will |
|
5 |
| Never will |
|
2 |
| Total: | 100% | 20 vote(s) |
Chapter 6 is finally up! Sorry about the chapter length, I was rushed...
HAHA LOVE CHAPTER 6! I actually did faint last friday 
Hmmmmm..Akai is your age by the way
K, so TheDigitizedOne is remaking this story in Brigham's perspective. Please don't post copyright on his version, I gave him permission.
I really like this, I have a request!
Name: May Holgum
Bey: Scythe Jupiter B:D
Appearance: Just my main appearance. (I'm saying this because Jake knows me in real life.)
Persona: My real personality!
Alignment: Neutral
Gender: Female (Obviously)
Age: 17
Name: May Holgum
Bey: Scythe Jupiter B:D
Appearance: Just my main appearance. (I'm saying this because Jake knows me in real life.)
Persona: My real personality!
Alignment: Neutral
Gender: Female (Obviously)
Age: 17
I have not seen a Beyblade story this good (And Violent XD) before! But also, do you mind adding the main character from my new story? Because this story takes place 10 years after the prologue, I was thinking that Rebel could be 10 years older than his debut in Rebel- A Beyblade Story, So Here he is:
Rebel Kadoya
Age: 24
Appearance: Same hair as Masamune Kadoya, and the face shape of Yu or Kenta in the anime series. He wears a red and black hoodie with Black sweatpants.
Bey: Guard (Or Guardian) Cultivator 125D(Disk) W2D
Attitude: Anger management problems at almost everything people have to say.
Rebel Kadoya
Age: 24
Appearance: Same hair as Masamune Kadoya, and the face shape of Yu or Kenta in the anime series. He wears a red and black hoodie with Black sweatpants.
Bey: Guard (Or Guardian) Cultivator 125D(Disk) W2D
Attitude: Anger management problems at almost everything people have to say.
(Mar. 07, 2014 2:27 AM)Xaos Ninja Wrote: I have not seen a Beyblade story this good (And Violent XD) before! But also, do you mind adding the main character from my new story? Because this story takes place 10 years after the prologue, I was thinking that Rebel could be 10 years older than his debut in Rebel- A Beyblade Story, So Here he is:
Rebel Kadoya
Age: 24
Appearance: Same hair as Masamune Kadoya, and the face shape of Yu or Kenta in the anime series. He wears a red and black hoodie with Black sweatpants.
Bey: Guard (Or Guardian) Cultivator 125D(Disk) W2D
Attitude: Anger management problems at almost everything people have to say.
I like this request, I'll use it. But one thing: the only fan fiction related thing in this story is Chris' son, Brigham. If you're meaning to make this a fan fiction with Rebel- A Beyblade Story being before this, I can't have that. But I surely will accept this, PM me what you want your character's alignment and position to be!
Chapter 7 is up!
OK, I'm working on chapter 8. That's all
This...
AMAZING.
Name:Jay Ross
Age:13 years old
Bey: Crush Quetzalcoatl F230 GCF (Crush is an illegally customized Big Bang wheel. It has no PC frame, and the metal frame is placed upside down on the metal core. This allows a smooth mode change)
SP moves: Ashen Twist: Uses tip's circle to make the bottom of the spin track stop, leaving the top part still spinning (allowing the fusion wheel and clear wheel to still rotate) and wobbles to the left causing the F230's bottom to spin left. This causes a tornado that grinds the opponent into a sleep out. Reincarnate: When the bey loses stamina, this move will send attracting waves to bring the opponent close to it and attack. This causes Quetzalcoatl's top to spin faster, and the F230 spins faster as well, bringing high stamina levels. This is rarely used.
AMAZING.
Name:Jay Ross
Age:13 years old
Bey: Crush Quetzalcoatl F230 GCF (Crush is an illegally customized Big Bang wheel. It has no PC frame, and the metal frame is placed upside down on the metal core. This allows a smooth mode change)
SP moves: Ashen Twist: Uses tip's circle to make the bottom of the spin track stop, leaving the top part still spinning (allowing the fusion wheel and clear wheel to still rotate) and wobbles to the left causing the F230's bottom to spin left. This causes a tornado that grinds the opponent into a sleep out. Reincarnate: When the bey loses stamina, this move will send attracting waves to bring the opponent close to it and attack. This causes Quetzalcoatl's top to spin faster, and the F230 spins faster as well, bringing high stamina levels. This is rarely used.
![[Image: 141r5zn.png]](https://i41.tinypic.com/141r5zn.png)
Man, I'm missing a lot of stories to critique, cause a critical writing judge like me has to see the top rated stories...
*reads* Hmmmm...
Well, I certainly like the format you put the story in. Very clean and simple to read. Grammar and spelling are also pretty good. Only real problem in length. It needs more content. It probably needs to be about paragraphs long (when condensed into single-spaced). Add more details or description in the story to fix that up.
Overall, a pretty decent story...
*reads* Hmmmm...
Well, I certainly like the format you put the story in. Very clean and simple to read. Grammar and spelling are also pretty good. Only real problem in length. It needs more content. It probably needs to be about paragraphs long (when condensed into single-spaced). Add more details or description in the story to fix that up.
Overall, a pretty decent story...
(Apr. 20, 2014 1:56 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote: Man, I'm missing a lot of stories to critique, cause a critical writing judge like me has to see the top rated stories...
*reads* Hmmmm...
Well, I certainly like the format you put the story in. Very clean and simple to read. Grammar and spelling are also pretty good. Only real problem in length. It needs more content. It probably needs to be about paragraphs long (when condensed into single-spaced). Add more details or description in the story to fix that up.
Overall, a pretty decent story...
Thanks Def! I'll take that advice in the next chapter! (When I get time, writing a novel for a school contest)